Dallas, Texas

"Sue Ellen, I don't know where you found that man, but I feel very sorry for his wife; it must be exhausting having him psychoanalysing everything. She probably thinks twice about everything she does. I imagine that if she chooses to cook steak for dinner, he has questions about how she made the decision. Or let's say she wants to paint the house blue, he probably questions whether she's feeling down, because blue is a sad colour so she must be depressed. Those are trivial things, I can't even imagine the drama and questioning that must ensue after a phone call or visit from her family, or worse, if she actually has real concerns to deal with. The man finds meaning in things that just aren't that complicated, it's strange, it's like he doesn't believe that some decisions can be made without regard to other people. I can't believe he really thinks everything in my life relates back to my relationship with daddy, or that I really need a pat on the back for basic achievements, and I cannot believe how nosy he is. Remind me to take another look at the report I had done on him; I need to make sure he really did graduate from medical school…"

Listening to JR ranting as they walked into the parking lot after their appointment with Doctor Williams, Sue Ellen had to try hard to keep from laughing; she knew her husband well, he wasn't angry, he was just nettled; Doctor Williams interacted with him in ways he wasn't used to with other people and it was unsettling for him. He didn't enjoy having to answer to anyone about why he did things, and he found it uncomfortable to talk about his emotional side, especially when that talking involved another man identifying and congratulating him on his progress and efforts. Despite his conflictions though, she knew most of the reason for why he acted the way he did was because it was uncomfortable for him to acknowledge how accurately the doctor could read him and it was uncomfortable for him to acknowledge that it was nice to hear that someone was proud of him, even if it wasn't his father. He had already softened his public image considerably in showing that he was capable of being much more than a philandering, ruthless businessman; he could be and was a faithful, loving husband and father while maintaining control of his company and associates that could be of use to him. He was strong, but that didn't mean he didn't have weaknesses. It wasn't fun to have another man identify that small things like discussing vacation time with his wife, or telling his father that he was an adult who was in control of his own life, could be such sources of confliction and anxiety and that when it was acknowledged that he had succeeded and made someone proud, he was happy. He didn't like feeling like he wasn't the most powerful person in the room, Sue Ellen and Doctor Williams both knew that; neither one of them purposely set out to make him feel self-conscious, he did that to himself and most of the time, like now, he worked himself into a mess of emotion for no real reason at all.

On that note, Sue Ellen really did feel bad for her husband, his self-consciousness wasn't entertaining in the slightest, she empathised with his position greatly and she was truly proud of him for continuing to work with her and Doctor Williams. What did entertain her though was the manner in which he chose to express his feelings. As far as she was aware, his rant about Doctor Williams' home life was based more on what he imagined than what was actually true, and it was funny to see just where his mind went with his thoughts. Additionally, while she felt the need to scold him a little for the fact that at some point he had clearly distrusted the doctor enough to have his men look into his background, she couldn't help but laugh at how over the top his reaction was when it came to questioning his methods. Whether he liked to admit it or not, Doctor Williams had helped them and their marriage a lot and while it was true that he never went out of his way to mention exactly what academic or scientific theories and methods he was basing his thoughts and recommendations on, she had no doubt his education and professional experience was real.

As they reached their cars, Sue Ellen suddenly felt less like laughing and more inclined to hold and comfort her husband; he was annoyed and was ranting about everything and nothing, but deeper than that, he was emotionally vulnerable. Reaching out to take hold of his hand, she was pleased when he stopped and turned toward her rather than agitatedly shrugged off her contact. "JR, calm down, please. I know you find Doctor Williams' directness affronting sometimes, but I don't think he means anything negatively. As I said when we were discussing it with him, I think you deserve to be happy and if you just allow yourself to accept that other people do see you as a good man, a man that makes an effort and deserves praise for those efforts, you really would be happier. I think sometimes you forget that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. You're not the only one with a parent who never truly expressed anything meaningful or complimentary toward you and it's absolutely not a failure to be angry, confused and frustrated about how it feels to have a parent like that, or how it feels to have such a reaction to hearing someone else express those things toward you".

"I know you don't think some of the things we discuss with Doctor Williams are any of his business and I know you find it uncomfortable when he expresses an opinion different to what you were expecting in reaction to some of the topics discussed, but I want you to remember that your feelings aren't wrong or weak. It's ok to feel two conflicting feelings; for example, when you're clearly bashful about his compliments, but also angry and embarrassed that you're so bashful and angry that the compliments you deserve are coming from a therapist rather than the man you wish would say them, your father. It's ok to feel that way, I don't think any less of you because you have feelings and aren't stoic all the time. I love you, all of you and I don't enjoy seeing you struggle with keeping your feelings inside you, or struggling with the idea that you even have feelings in the first place. I know you're all wound up by what Doctor Williams was saying in there before we moved on to discussing our vacation plans, but please, don't feel that you have to stay so 'strong' and silent about what's really on your mind. I'm here for you, I want to listen to you and I want to help you, but I need you to be open and honest with me too. Don't hold back, say it to me, I won't judge you or belittle you; you're angry with your father and you're annoyed with Doctor Williams for reminding you of your issues with your father, it's not something to be ashamed of and it's not something you need to hide or divert attention from. You and I have had a lot of very similar experiences and I know for a fact that having you around to support me has helped me immensely; now I want to do the same thing for you. We don't have to get ahead of ourselves and deal with your father as we did my mother, but please, just let me in to your thoughts and let me help you; I promise, you'll feel so much better if you do".

Hoping she wasn't being too forward and that her assumptions were at least close to what was really bothering him, she then stepped closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly before loosening her grip and then tilting her head up to kiss him. She wanted to be a good wife and friend to him and she wanted him to allow her to be those things. Doctor Williams could offer them a great deal of help if he would let him in to his life completely, but she knew that more than Doctor Williams' professional opinion and recommendations, it would be her and JR's individual and combined efforts that helped them improved themselves and their relationship with each other. She just wanted them to be happy, but to do that, they had to work hard and work together.

To be continued…