Dallas, Texas

Looking in her rear-view mirror as she drove along the long, straight street toward her home, Sue Ellen's mind and stomach flip-flopped between feeling nervous and happy as she and spotted the five cars following her lead. After her and John Ross' mommy and me playgroup earlier in the morning, she had taken the initiative to politely offer her home for their usual post-playgroup social hour. It seemed only fair that she give something in return for all of the times the other ladies had hosted the group, but more than that, after months, and honestly, probably years, of feeling a bit sad, unenthusiastic and lost, she was now ready to re-enter the world and this felt like one way of doing so. She had already begun making a real effort to get involved in charity work, to form bonds and begin to make friends with the women in her mother and baby group, and to separate herself from the negative people in her life, but she had to keep pushing herself forward. She had cut contact with her mother and while it had at first been a confusing and upsetting reality, she was beginning to come to terms with it and couldn't deny that it felt good to be free. In recent months too, she had only attended DOA events that truly meant something to her, and now, she was completely committed to dedicating as much of herself as she could on the days she was scheduled to work at the women's charity she had found her place in. Once or twice a week too, she made an effort to spend time with Lucy, with or without John Ross, because after being in her life for more than five years, they'd formed a bond and Lucy had made it clear that she couldn't deal with the pain of another adult abandoning her, even if abandonment wasn't Sue Ellen's intention. She had never stopped loving being a mother, and while being a wife had been difficult at times, she now felt completely confident and happy in that role too, so combined with her individual activities and commitments, and putting aside her feelings regarding some of the tough things she and JR were working through with Doctor Williams, she felt good.

The nervousness she was experiencing came from a different area inside her. She was nervous about hosting a group of women in her home because she hadn't properly hosted anyone in so long, and in her and JR's new home, she had never hosted anyone but family, so she felt a little bit out of practice in that respect, but more than that, she was nervous because she couldn't control everything. She had known the other mothers in the playgroup for a few months now and there had only been a few times where she had felt out of place, but still, the one moment where she had really realised just how different her life was to many people's was still fresh in her mind. She was a wife, a mother and a woman, but she was also married to one of the wealthiest men in Texas and even if that didn't affect her thoughts, it certainly had an impact on the lifestyle available to her. She didn't have the same domestic or financial struggles as some of the other women and she hoped that her friendly personality and lack of superior attitude would be remembered when they were confronted with the reality of how she lived. Of course, she remembered her early sessions with Doctor Williams, so she knew it was silly to be so concerned about something that hadn't happened yet, she wasn't sure would happen, and she had no real control over, however that didn't eliminate her nervousness entirely. She was different now, she was stronger and she wouldn't allow her negative feelings to control her like she had in the past; she would try her hardest to make sure things worked in her favour, but if they didn't, no longer would she allow her entire outlook on life be affected. She was a new version of herself and she did not intend to return to her old state of mind.

A few minutes later, after turning onto her long, tree lined driveway, and parking in her usual spot, Sue Ellen swallowed her nervousness and turned her attention back to the task at hand. She was an excellent mother and was well capable of being an excellent host and friend; so really, there was nothing for her to worry about regarding her own behaviour. On the other side of the situation, if she was as kind and welcoming as she wanted to be and she knew was acceptable, and other women still judged her and decided they didn't want to be friends with her because of everything she had, then she didn't really want their friendship anyway. As an eligible young woman, as Miss Texas and even as Mrs JR Ewing, she had made more than enough insincere social connections and she had no desire to make any more; she wanted friends, real ones, and she hoped her work so far would help fulfil her wish.

"Please, make yourselves at home. I'll just go and speak to Francisca about preparing some tea", welcoming Kathy, Susan, Carol, Nancy and their respective babies into her home, Sue Ellen showed them to the living room before excusing herself for a moment. Carrying John Ross with her, she smiled to herself as she walked into the kitchen and found Francisca paging through recipe books and making notes on a small notepad; over the short period they had known each other, she had come to appreciate Francisca's cooking talents and passion for trying new things; she and JR never went hungry. "Good morning Mrs Ewing", feeling comforted by the familiarity and friendliness in Francisca's voice, Sue Ellen felt at ease as she responded, bringing her housekeeper up to speed, "good morning Francisca", allowing John Ross to murmur a few sounds of agreement, she then continued, "we have a few guests joining us today. Would you please prepare some tea and use the special tea set, the one I told you I received as a gift at my bridal shower; I don't think we'll run out of topics to talk about, but if we do, at least that set has a story attached to it". Realising she probably sounded crazy, because she was once again assuming the worst, she then quickly informed Francisca of the number of guests they had, thanked her and then left the room before she let her mind and mouth start rambling again.

In the living room, in the absence of their host, after making a few observant comments, but then choosing to refrain from focusing on their surroundings, the four young women chatted comfortably amongst themselves; they had known each other for a good few months and were not strangers in each other's lives. As Sue Ellen re-entered the room though, it became apparent that the ease of conversation and the understanding they all had with each other was something they now questioned when it came to their individual and collective relationships with her. It was easier to forget or ignore that Sue Ellen was married to one of Texas' wealthiest men and didn't truly live the same type of life as the rest of them when they were all firmly on common ground, rather than when, like now, they were all faced with an explicit picture of what that status actually meant. Surrounded by acres and acres of beautiful Texan land, inside her large, beautifully restored and elegantly decorated home, Sue Ellen's hair seemed a little shinier, her smile a little brighter and her clothes a little more expensive and fashionable than when she was sitting on the floor in a community hall, singing and playing with her young son. It was always obvious that she had money and it never really came as a surprise to hear that with her grace and beauty, she was a former Miss Texas, but until now, to the women in the playgroup, the presence of the Ewing wealth in Sue Ellen's life hadn't been quite so obvious.

Watching Sue Ellen as she gave John Ross a kiss before she set him down with the other children and quietly took her place with the rest of the adults, it was obvious to all four women that the answer to their unspoken questions about whether Sue Ellen Ewing was hiding a part of herself was no. She was a wealthy, very privileged woman and there was no way she could truly empathise with some of their struggles, however, when it came to the reason why they were all gathered together and when it came to actually connecting on a human level with each other, she really wasn't that different. "Sue Ellen, your home is absolutely stunning, thank you for inviting us", making the first move, Kathy hoped none of her previous judgemental thoughts were obvious in her tone; she really did like Sue Ellen and she would hate to upset her, especially in such a hypocritical manner. If she acted as though she were superior to Sue Ellen because she made her way through life's challenges with less money and privilege than Sue Ellen did, but Sue Ellen didn't hold the same opinion, that she was better than anyone else, then really, she was the one in the wrong. She wanted things to go well and for their common ground to develop into something more, irrespective of their different backgrounds, and from Sue Ellen's friendly, familiar demeanour, that was all she really wanted too.

To be continued…