Dallas, Texas

Changing clothes in preparation for pre-dinner cocktails, Jock briefly stopped and looked at his wife in annoyance and frustration as she announced that once again, their eldest son and his family would not be joining them. "More time away? They're breaking their end of the bargain and I don't like it. I distinctly remember the plan to move out of Southfork was presented as an opportunity for all of us to grow closer. There were promises of attending family dinners a few times a week, and assurances that they wouldn't be strangers around here and would make sure that John Ross didn't lose his connection to our familial home and land, but from my perspective, it appears that all of those things were just hollow words. How are we supposed to be involved in their lives when they make it clear that there are boundaries when it comes to us visiting their home, and they show no interest in returning to our home? It was nice to be invited to dinner last week, but that was a week ago and when you add their absence from Dallas this weekend and what will probably end up being another week of separate dinners next week, before you know it, it will have been two weeks since we all spent time together as a family. Are we really going to pretend that everything is fine and we're still just as close and just as much on the same page as each other as we were before? I hope not, because clearly that's not true".

"Seeing each other every day at the office is not the same thing as seeing each other for family dinner, especially when nowadays, time at the office seems to be interrupted more and more often by those damn therapy sessions and couples lunches. Did you know JR has applied for twelve days leave this year? That includes a whole week in July; a whole week at the beginning of the new fiscal year where we're traditionally very busy. I don't know how things are going to turn out economically this year, it's not looking good at the moment, but I can't be certain it will be terrible, however, in any case, Ewing Oil needs its employees to be on top of things, not upping and leaving, deserting the company when it's time to do some work. Add to that too, Bobby splitting his time between being on the road, working the ranch and showing his face at the office; this family is falling apart and Ewing Oil is suffering too".

Seeing his wife taking a deep breath, preparing to respond, Jock hurriedly began to speak again; he wasn't finished saying what he had to say and after months of holding his tongue when it came to his son and daughter-in-law's life choices, he had finally had enough and would not be silenced until he had said his piece. "Now, before you claim I'm being unfair and treating JR like a child, I can't deny that JR needed the reality check his wife leaving him gave him, but come on, this is just ridiculous. There is a difference between being in a happy, loving, committed marriage and being in an obsessive, single-minded marriage. Those two can't seem to stay away from each other and it's affecting the whole family. My grandson needs to know he has a grandfather, grandmother, uncle and cousin living just a few miles down the street from him, but the way things are going I fear he won't understand any of that…" Shaking his head, he internally shuddered at the thought of John Ross growing up without a strong connection to Southfork land, or a proper understanding of what it meant to be part of the Ewing family; it wasn't right and somebody needed to say it. Unfortunately for him, it was clear from his wife's facial expression that he was not just going to get what he wanted.

"Jock…" silently closing her eyes and shaking her head, Miss Ellie took a moment to compose herself before responding to her husband. Like Jock, she had a strong opinion on the issue at hand, however, unlike Jock, her opinion was much less selfish. She was old fashioned though, she didn't want to completely emasculate her husband by cutting every one of his thoughts down to size; however, it also didn't mean she was prepared to just grin and bear his ridiculous thoughts. "With all due respect Jock, I disagree. We've waited years for this to happen and now that it has, we should be happy about it, not trying to interfere and change things again. You may not have seen how fragile Sue Ellen was during those first few years of marriage, but I did, and it was heartbreaking. Pushing JR into marriage and fatherhood before he was ready was a huge mistake on our part. Now that he's finally realised what actually means something to him though, I fully support him, even if it means a few less hours as a whole family".

"As for JR taking leave, I understand your annoyance when it comes to needing him for work purposes, but please, do remember that you equally agreed to everything in his employment contract, including the days he is legally entitled to take. As well as that, please, at least try to have a little empathy. Do you remember when you and I were first married? I don't know if you noticed, but I would have loved for us to take a few days away every once in a while. They're a young couple, they want to enjoy each other and their son, sometimes with us and sometimes without us; it doesn't mean they love us any less though. I agree, they could make more of an effort to participate in full family dinners and other events, but at the same time, if it means that much to you, why don't you do something about it yourself? I don't mean strong-arming JR into working more to prove his dedication to Ewing Oil, or inviting him and Sue Ellen to dinner in a manner that gives him no other choice but to say yes; I mean do something to show you care and you genuinely want to spend time together. I personally think I have a wonderful relationship with John Ross, our grandson; that relationship takes work and trust though. You can't just try to force JR and Sue Ellen to do things the exact way you want them done, we're too far past that kind of relationship for that to even be something you think is a good idea. If you want to see JR and John Ross more often then you need to offer to spend time with them, even if that time doesn't involve the entire family coming together. John Ross loves the horses and animals on the ranch; offer to take him down there to visit them, and at the same time, talk to JR, but don't force him into something he doesn't want to do. He'll happily hand John Ross the carrots to feed the horses, but he's not particularly fond of actually feeding them himself. If that's not something either of you want to do, find something else; John Ross is a baby, he enjoys simple things and he's not that difficult to entertain; JR is a little more complicated, but he's your son and you've spent enough time together over the last three decades that you can surely think of something to do together".

"I think you're being unreasonable expecting JR and Sue Ellen to make all the effort and the effort to be the exact things you want to do; I think you need to be more flexible and I really do believe that if you are, things will start to come together again. You're always saying power is something you take, but I think you need to reassess that statement; this isn't about power, it's about family, and family is all about giving and taking. You cannot expect JR to cede control to you when it comes to his family or his time; you know he's an adult, and in my eyes, he's doing what we've always wanted him to do and that's something to be proud of, not something to get upset about. I think you should be honest with him and then suggest starting small; don't ambush him with your ideas and don't force him into things he doesn't want to do, that method is dangerous. Tell him you understand that he wants to be a good husband and father, but tell him that you too want to do the same thing, and then start a conversation about how to find a new balance. I don't think either he or Sue Ellen mean to brush off our invitations, I think they're simply caught up in how happy and good their lives are now and how much they want things to remain that way".

Trying hard to remain calm and collected, Miss Ellie waited with bated breath for her husband's response. She didn't want to argue with him, but he was so clueless sometimes; JR and Sue Ellen were finally happy together and he seemed annoyed about it. Moreover, for some strange reason, in this situation, he seemed completely oblivious to the concept of making the first move, which if she knew him, he wasn't. If he wanted to have a relationship with his son and grandson, then he needed to make an effort, because she did, and she thought her relationship with John Ross and Sue Ellen was excellent, and even her relationship with JR was closer now than it had been throughout his childhood and early adulthood. She had to be cautious too though, she knew that; she couldn't and wouldn't allow him to drive JR and Sue Ellen away like he had Gary; she cared too much about her family to deal with another loss like that again. Jock was delusional though if he truly believed JR spending time with his wife and son was a terrible tragedy for anyone; it was what they had been waiting for for years, she just wished he could see it that way.

To be continued…