Denison, Texas

"I'm sorry darlin', am I boring you?" observing Sue Ellen yawning, again, JR wasn't sure what to think. He was well aware that nobody was as interested in Ewing Oil as he and his father were, so he did try to limit the amount of ranting and recapping he did about the specific things that happened at work. He had to tell someone how he felt though, otherwise he would end up venting his frustration in all the wrong places and that was not the way of life he wanted to return to. When it came to their current after dinner conversation though, he didn't think he'd spoken about any one topic too much. In fact, as far as their time together this evening had gone, their attention had mostly been geared toward John Ross' needs and unpacking their things before they finally got a minute to themselves to actually have a proper, focused conversation, so surely she wasn't already bored with hearing about his day? As he thought about it though, he was failing to come up with anything other than business talk that would bore her enough to make her yawn, so it had to be that; unless there was something she wasn't telling him?

"No, of course not JR. I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me; I'm just tired. I don't want to complain, because you work much harder than I do and you don't have a choice about your work, but honestly, I'm exhausted. Don't get me wrong, it's a good exhausted; I'm very grateful that I am able to choose what I do with my time and I'm very happy to be here with you, it's just, I suppose I've had a busy week, and then this evening with John Ross being so restless, it's all beginning to catch up to me". Listening to his wife answering his question and apologising, JR found it difficult to feel annoyed with her. She was right, she had a lot more choice about how she spent her time, and she did have a lot of help available to her, but as he understood on an empathetic level, she was human, just like he was, and in her world, what she did all day was enough to be exhausting. As Doctor Williams had taught him, life's problems weren't a competition and everyone's feelings were valid; they were both allowed to have equally strong emotions without one necessarily being better or more 'real'. He still wasn't completely convinced by some of the things Doctor Williams preached, but he did know his wife and it wasn't at all unlike her to downplay her own emotions when speaking about them, but to also internalise how they actually affected her. He didn't want to return to the way things had been in their early marriage, where she had been so concerned about being a 'good wife' that she completely disregarded her own mental and emotional health. Because of that, although a part of him wished she would put aside her tiredness and distractedness to focus on his issues, a bigger part of him was just grateful she was actually sharing her thoughts and feelings and that in the grand scheme of things, the issue between them really wasn't a big deal.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise. Why don't we finish our drinks and head up to bed?" prior to arriving, he had hoped to have a repeat of yesterday's evening performance, or the way things had been the previous times they had visited the lake house, however, it was now obvious that an early night was for the best. He didn't know the exact details of her day or week, but from what she was telling him now, and what he now realised had been a stressful journey with John Ross, anything even remotely romantic or intimate was the last thing on her mind. If he knew Sue Ellen though, by the time they awoke in the morning, things would be much better.

"That sounds nice. There's no great hurry though; I promise, I'm not so tired that I'm going to fall asleep before you're finished telling me all about your day. Please, continue with your story, I am listening", watching as Sue Ellen then motioned her hand to encourage him to keep talking, JR felt perplexed again. She was confusing sometimes; he often didn't quite understand where her changes in opinion or mood came from, though not understanding everything about her didn't mean he loved her any less. As well as that, while he was confused by the way she acted sometimes, like now, skipping from tired and disinterested to alert and attentive, he couldn't deny that he loved having someone there to listen to his frustrations and give him encouragement, and in this instance, that alone was all it really took for him to continue his story.

"…so he wasn't happy, but that's not the end of the world. We needed this…" ten minutes later, speaking more to himself than Sue Ellen, JR looked at her silently for a moment before quietly standing and leaning down to pick her up off the couch, and in a state she was in, somewhere between sleeping and being awake, she didn't resist. As much as she had tried, it appeared that her need for rest was stronger than her will to listen to him. He was content though, he didn't doubt she loved him and he didn't feel the need to sulk because every second of her day wasn't dedicated to him. He had lived in the past and he had lived in the present and at present, things were good. It was nice to have a wife, a son and a company, even if there were occasionally challenges and not everything was smooth sailing all the time. He was happy and from the peaceful way that Sue Ellen was sleeping, and the way things had been between them recently, he knew she was too.

After carrying her up the stairs and reluctantly rousing her to change out of her nice clothes and into her nightgown, JR couldn't believe how good he felt as she took her rightful place next to him in their bed. There would be plenty of time for them to talk deeply and sexually connect, but now was not that time; now was the time for them to work on a quieter, more emotional connection. There was no way his father would understand why he and Sue Ellen needed so much time for themselves and why they insisted on getting away from Dallas in order to develop a strong relationship with John Ross, but that didn't really matter right now. His father was his boss at work, but he wouldn't be forever, and in his home life, although he hadn't quite managed to set the boundaries Doctor Williams seemed so sure would lift a weight off his shoulders, things were different now to how they had been in the past. There was work to be done and progress to be made yet, but the present looked and felt good and he was glad.

To be continued…