My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
💚Sweetie, Let Me Give You The Daddy💚
"The best investment I ever made, was when I lost fifty million dollars and met the love of my life as a result of that."
‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️
‼️Romance/Angst/Drama/Lemons‼️
‼️AS/CG/The Greys/The Steeles/José Rodriguez/Grace Grey‼️
💚Now, in case it wasn't clear, this will be a Christian POV story. and I know you will want Ana's PoV, but it will just be Christian.
💚 READ & REVIEW, DON'T BE A SILENT READER 💚
Chapter 3: Pink Agate & Johnnie Walker (5,6K)
"You want a family," Christian observed, hating the way it made him feel.
This was the exact reason why he hadn't professed his feelings to Ana yet. He knew that he loved her, and he would be more than happy to get rid of the contract so they could try at a real relationship. But more than once, she had made those little remarks about kids that made him re-evaluate his intentions.
Especially when it came to his nephews. Ana was so invested in his nephews, and at first, he thought it was just because of their situation, that Ana felt the need to step up so they would have a mother figure in their lives. But when he had seen her at his place the day before, cuddling Parker, Taylor's son, he understood that getting a family was something that had been deeply ingrained in her.
She had been holding the baby as if he was the most precious thing on the planet. She hadn't noticed him there so Christian had been able to observe her without disturbance and see that glimpse in her eyes. The 'baby fever' look made it clear that no real relationship could bloom between them. He saw the longing in her eyes, the determination to have a child: it was the same kind of determination he had had when he started his company, the same kind of determination that always pushed him to go forward and test his limits.
It was proof that he would never be able to make her happy. He could shower her with all the gifts her heart desired, but what she wanted went beyond material possessions, and he couldn't commit to that.
And the smile she gave him as he was stating this truth on their way to the airport confirmed his thoughts. He swallowed his frustration, as things were not going according to plan. He had been supposed to come clean, or at least mention the idea of keeping their relationship the same, without the contract.
The previous night, after many drinks with Elliott, who was great at reading between the lines, Christian had rambled enough to make it clear to his brother how he felt about Ana, how the feelings were growing stronger by the day and how much the woman meant to him. After the vague confession, Elliott pressed him to just tell her. But now, what was the point of telling her of his feelings, when he knew he couldn't give her all she wanted. He would need to change her goals first.
So, he tried to understand about her desire to have children, "Is it … because … you didn't have a family growing up?"
He looked at her, paying close attention to what her body was saying, rather than her words, but then the meaning of her explanation hit him.
"Partially. But I also want what Gail just had. I want to feel my child grow inside me. I want to feel the good and the bad of a pregnancy. I want to do that one thing that never changed through the millennia. I want to see my family grow, with the ups and downs. I want …" She stopped, looking down at her hands as she cleared her throat and added, "I shouldn't bother you with that."
He kept his eyes on her, realising how many thoughts and feelings she had put into that explanation. She wanted the full experience, she didn't just want a family, she wanted to be a mother, a parent. And yet, there was a piece missing in her perfect picture.
"No husband though? Women usually dream of a big wedding before the baby mania."
She frowned slightly, her eyes lost in the distance, as the airport got closer and closer, and their time together was dwindling down.
"It would be for the best if my kids had a father in their lives. But I can't control the actions of other people, only my own. I just know that it's better being alone than unwanted. But if the father does stick around, I'll give my first son and my first daughter the name of his own parents."
"What if they have silly names?"
"It's not a matter of silly. It's so my children can belong. It's a heavy burden …not to belong …"
Christian snapped back into the present moment, paying more attention to the little girl as he realised what his brain had left unnoticed ever since learning that Ana had had a child. Technically speaking, the girl couldn't be his, right? Ana and he had only had one night together, and given how they parted, he was sure that even though he didn't have any protection at the time, Ana had taken the necessary precautions afterwards.
And Elliott had met with her in February, meaning eight months after her birthday. He would have mentioned something if Ana had seemed pregnant. They even drank together, so it couldn't even be a premature baby, because she would still have been breastfeeding at that time.
And this wasn't like Ana, to keep a child from him. Firstly, he could give the kid stability and financial security and secondly, Ana grew up without parents, she wouldn't want the same for her kid if there was a chance at an alternative. But then again, she had desperately tried to talk to him before he left for Macau. She had said herself that she hadn't necessarily needed to see him, just speak with him. And there was also the cursed letter he had never opened.
He was barely paying attention to the conversation between Jose and the little girl, trying to find solid proof that this was all just an awful nightmare. He couldn't deal with a kid, especially not now when he was in the middle of a deal that could result in an enormous financial loss for him if things went badly.
But the more he looked at the small brunette, the more he understood why she looked so little like Ana. In fact, when looking closely, he could see more and more of himself in the kid, he could almost see a brunette feminine version of his baby pictures. His eyes travelled away from her yellow-toned face, all the way to the foot of the bed where her chart hung. Looking at the chart, he saw the name printed on a sheet and that was the proverbial last nail in the coffin.
Grace Marianne Steele
He barely heard what Jose was saying about Ana's birthday and their plans regarding that. All he could think about was that he was fucked. Even though she didn't have his last name, he could feel it in his bones that little Grace was his kid. Ana would have never named her after his mother if he wasn't involved.
Without saying a word, he retreated and left the hospital, going to his office in New York where he found Ros with whom he had work to do. Once in his office, he asked her for ten minutes and called his lawyer dealing with internal affairs, to know what to do with this realisation.
"Thomas, we have a situation."
"What happened?"
"I … There is apparently … a child … that just popped up in my life."
There was a small silence during which Christian put his phone down, using his Bluetooth AirPods and pacing through the office in the hope that Thomas would come up with a perfect solution.
"I thought you didn't have sex with Angela."
"I didn't! It's Ana," Christian snapped through his gritted teeth, not really eager to be reminded of Angela, especially at this moment in time.
Thomas didn't say anything, but when he spoke again, Christian knew that he was proposing his question very carefully. "Are you sure … that the child is yours?"
"Thomas …" Christian replied with a warning tone.
"I mean no disrespect to the girl, Mr Grey but we both know you haven't heard from her in years. And the two of you had a relationship that revolved around money. It wouldn't be the first time that a woman was to pretend that a child was someone else's, just for financial gain.
If the child supposedly is yours, school will start for her in a month's time, and good schools are expensive. And even if she's working with Wilks now, I doubt she makes enough as a single mother to pay for a good school. I don't want you to become a paycheck for her. My advice is to ask for a paternity test."
"Are you insane?" Christian mused, refusing to doubt Ana's words.
Thinking about it, she still hadn't certified in any way that Grace was his. But thinking back to how she reacted when he saw her in his office, he understood that the letter she sent on Christmas was a statement letting him know of the life he had created inside of her. She had been surprised that he didn't ask about their child upon seeing her.
"I'm pragmatic, Mr Grey. She's a lawyer, she'll understand. If the child is indeed yours, the best way to deal with the situation is to write her a check covering the past four years of the child's life and proposing a contract in which you will agree to pay monthly child support."
"Ana would never sign another contract with me."
"She's a lawyer. She will. Because she knows the other solution is for you to take her to court and ask for partial or total custody. She's a mother, she won't want to go down this road."
"I don't want custody of the kid. Total or partial, she can keep her."
Thomas sighed on the other end of the phone, and Christian understood before he explained what he had meant. "It's not what you want that matters here, it's what she doesn't want. She will agree to your terms just to make sure she keeps her kid."
Christian hung up and kept to himself that he was certainly not going to ask Ana for a paternity test. It seemed ludicrous, no matter how reasonable and logical he knew it was.
He stayed with Ros for the most part of the evening, settling a few things as he informed her that he would swap with her and stay in New York for the upcoming month. He didn't go into any details, just telling her that he had an upcoming operation that had to take place in New York, and though she was obviously curious, she didn't ask anything about it. Though she still made a small jab at him, claiming that he was human after all, like the rest of them.
When she left to go back to her wife, Christian stayed for another hour, arranging his schedule with Andrea over the phone. He was planning on going back to Seattle to pack a small suitcase for the upcoming month, but he felt that he should let Ana know before flying back to his city. So, he went back to the hospital, still unsure of how he was feeling about this whole situation.
He found Ana sitting by her daughter's bedside, looking at the sick child, her face drained and worried. For a moment, he didn't say anything, looking at the two brunettes, wondering what was wrong with him. Even though he knew that the kid was his, he felt nothing for the little girl. She was just a kid; he didn't feel like she was his daughter. His mother would probably say he was just showing an obvious lack of empathy, but he didn't want to think about that right now.
He cleared his throat and said what had been bugging him since he found out about little Grace: "You should have told me."
Ana smiled a disabused smile before getting up, kissing her daughter's forehead and gathering a few things. She walked out of the room, and closed the door, letting him know, "I honestly thought you had read the letter and just didn't want anything to do with her."
"Come on, Elliott must have told you I didn't read that damn letter! And by the way, what stupid excuse did you conjure for Elliott to keep that to himself? He's terrible at keeping secrets!"
"I haven't seen Elliott since that Raymond's Day before your birthday. He just doesn't know. I didn't think it was appropriate to let your family know before you, and when I sent that letter and you didn't respond, I didn't want your family to put pressure on you. It was your choice."
"Clearly it wasn't! I didn't read the letter. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Why didn't you tell me who she was when you realised I didn't know this morning?"
"For the same reason, it took me nine months to let you know in the first place. For the same reason, I am still questioning my decision at this very moment. Because you already have a first, second and third love. Because you refused to even give me five minutes of your time when all I wanted to do is tell you about our child. Because as soon as you found out about your daughter, you bailed on her and went to work. You didn't even say one word to her."
She took a breath and then said in an even tone, "I am sorry if you feel bad. I am sorry that you're angry at me. I am sorry that you are confused. But in the end, I don't care. In the end, I too have my first, second and third priority. And it's my baby. I won't apologise for putting her first. I won't apologise for protecting her from the heartbreak you will ultimately bring her."
"I am not that cold. Don't make me sound like a monster."
Finally, she looked up, her blue eyes searching his soul, and she nodded conceding that she was wrong.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just overprotective of my child and too judgmental when it comes to you. I do have one question though. You just learned that you have a child. This is a big thing, whether you're happy about it or not. Who did you call first? Was is your mother, to let her know she has a granddaughter sharing her name? Your father, to ask his advice on fatherhood? Maybe your brother to let him know you're freaking out?"
She expectantly waited for him to answer, but he couldn't say a word, because he knew that she was very well aware of what had been his first move. In fact, he hadn't even thought of contacting his family yet. But she had to understand that he had priorities.
"I had to know what it meant for my company. I'm in the middle of a very important transaction, and —"
Christian stopped, seeing her smile, that smile that he was starting to hate as it seemed way too condescending for his liking.
"I know, Christian. Nothing will ever come before your company. Not even your own daughter. I thought for a second this morning when you put everything on hold ... but it was just wishful thinking. And I understand better than ever. You protected your company; you called the one person who was going to make sure that your baby would not be affected by mine. But now, you should understand that I'm doing the same with my own baby. Only the one I am protecting her from is you."
She presented him with a hairbrush, and said, "You can give the brush to your lawyer for him to do whatever tests he wants. My word means nothing in a court of law. And I will sign whatever document he wants me to sign if I remain Grace's sole guardian and her custody is not disputed."
"I'm not a monster, Ana," he repeated, refusing to take the brush. He hated how she was making him feel like a villain who was going to destroy a little girl's happiness. "I can … be in her life."
"Can you, though? You didn't even say hi! Can you promise to be here for her when she might need you? Can you promise that she will never feel like a second thought? Can you promise not to make her feel like she doesn't matter?"
He rolled his eyes, glancing at the closed door as he was doing his best to keep his temper in check in contrast to Ana's very calm and poised demeanour.
"Have I ever done that to you?"
She looked at him, and though she didn't say a word, he hated the answer he could read in her eyes. She quickly looked away, clearing her throat as she told him, "Anyway, I don't think it is wise to tell her anything before the surgery. She is very weak, and I don't want to upset her right now."
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
When Christian got back to Seattle the next day, he hadn't gotten any good ideas about what he should do. Ana had given him the perfect out, but that meant that he would never get the chance to try and win her back. She was very clear as to where her priorities lay, and they were certainly not with him. In fact, she saw him as some sort of cold-hearted bastard that was going to either break her daughter's heart or deeply disappoint her.
And in a way, he couldn't blame her. This was the reason he had never wanted children, to begin with. He didn't have time for them. He barely had time for Ana when they were in a relationship, and that worked only because she had known how to meld her schedule to his.
He still had many questions, but he figured it would be best if he waited a few days before asking them and just read the damn letter she had sent. Ana had seemed exhausted, and though it felt nothing like it, it was a fact that the fourth had been her birthday. Reading the letter would just give him all the facts he needed, either for the next argument or just for information in general; after all, he knew nothing of how the child had come to be except for the first step.
His lawyer had called him a couple of times, probably to ask for some DNA samples from the kid, but Christian was going to be firm on this decision. He didn't need to put Ana's word to the test. She could fault him for many things, but it would never be of a lack of trust.
At first light, he went by his office to retrieve some important documents he could work on in New York. Andrea had everything ready for him, and he was very tempted to tell her to pack and come to New York with him. He hated working with the time difference, even if it was just three hours.
But it was just for a month, six weeks at most. He would manage.
As he was putting the documents in his briefcase, Andrea buzzed his intercom and let him know, "Raymond Wilks is on the line concerning the Khan deal."
Christian took the call, his anger bursting as soon as he put the phone to his ear, "You lawyer bastard! Couldn't you have told me?!"
"What are you on about?"
"Are you going to pretend that you didn't know your little protégé has a kid?"
"I don't see how this could possibly concern you," Raymond calmly said, before falling silent for a moment and inquiring, "Unless she is yours?"
Christian didn't say a word, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes as he realised that Ana had kept the secret exclusively to herself. And though he knew it wasn't like her, he still felt relieved because it meant she was not going to go to the first tabloid to sell his secrets for millions. After all, surgeries were expensive.
He made a mental note to ask Andrea to find the best hospital in New York so Grace could be transferred there, and for her to make sure that all costs would be on his account.
"I had no idea, Christian. I always thought that Grace was Andrew's. I mean, Ana said she had just always liked the name, and she never spoke of her being pregnant. I never even saw her pregnant before she left for London. I assumed she had had the kid in England. She left in such a hurry, and …" He stopped rambling, as if realising something, and said, "I'm sorry, Christian."
"For what?"
"It must not be easy discovering you have a child when you might not have the chance to see her grow old."
Christian frowned, only realising now how bad the situation with Grace was. He didn't really ask Ana about it, nor inquire anything from the doctor, and just assumed that everything would go well since he was there to save the day. But Ana did say that she wanted his involvement in a life or death situation, and now Raymond seemed to think that the little girl's days were numbered.
"I have an appointment to give her part of my liver. All should be well soon."
He didn't really linger on the topic, fully aware that Carla and Raymond lost a son in a car accident when their kid was not even ten. He might not know yet how it felt to be a parent, but he knew that burying one's child was not in the natural order of things.
Raymond cleared his throat, and when he spoke again his voice was a tad too cheery to be natural, "If you're coming back to New York, we'll talk about Khan when you're here. I'm sure all will go well for Grace. She's a brilliant kid, and she's stronger than she looks right now."
Christian hung up, and looked at the skyline behind his desk, his thoughts wandering down so many different paths. First, there was this Andrew that Raymond had casually mentioned and Christian knew nothing about. He just knew that it was a bad sign for a man to be so close to Ana that Raymond might have thought he was Grace's father.
And there was the issue of Grace. Now that he was sitting down, with Raymond's words echoing in his brain, he was trying to feel what a father was supposed to feel in that moment. But he didn't feel like her father, he barely felt like an uncle. He was basically a stranger to the little girl, and though this loophole of information had been created by Ana, he wasn't eager to do anything to change the situation.
The only reason he wanted to be in the little girl's life was because it would keep him away from any scandals. And, most importantly, it was the only way to get Ana back in his life.
With a heavy sigh, he got up and left the building, not saying a word to Taylor on their way to his penthouse. Once there, he went straight to his office and looked for the pink envelope. He ripped it open, and after reading it once, twice, even thrice, he found himself in his kitchen, pouring himself glass after glass of Johnnie Walker, cursing his cowardice.
Dear Christian,
First of all, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I truly hope that you will take some time off from work to spend this festive time surrounded by your family and loved ones.
I am not going to lie and pretend that this Christmas isn't something odd for me. Not because I am in another country, but because in that period where you are supposed to be with your loved ones, many truths and realisations are coming to me. This is going to be the second Christmas that I will spend without you, and it is much harder than I would have thought.
I guess that first, I should apologise about how I ended things last year. I was… to put it shortly… a raging lunatic. To be fair, I realise now that I was not fully myself. But I was feeling wounded in a place I thought had healed a long time ago. It was more than my ego; it was my heart. After some time had passed, I realised that the way you acted was just typical Christian behaviour. And, no matter how much of it was true the fact is it still hurt like hell. It hurt to realise that even though you liked to pretend otherwise, I was just another business deal to you.
I was never seen as separate from the contract. You might have perceived it differently, but that's not how you made me feel. If you had taken me as a person, if you had really known me, you would have never done what you did. Because you would have known how it would make me feel.
I am not going to pretend that I was perfect, I was very much broken, to be honest, and you met me when I was trying to fix myself. And this last act from you just shattered what I had managed to put together, all the while robbing me of my dignity.
But here I am rambling about things we can't change when this is not why I wrote to you. As said earlier, I understand now that this is who you are and that the image I had of you was just distorted by the feelings that developed towards you over the two years we spent together. And this is the image I will keep in mind and cherish, no matter what you do after reading this letter.
But I want to make this clear Christian, I would have said no. I might have never said, or even shown it, but I am a romantic at heart, and a proposal over the phone is something I would certainly not accept. A proposal shouldn't be seen as a contract, but as a promise from one heart to another.
Now, you must be wondering why this letter is coming now, out of nowhere, eighteen months after we ceased all contact and … I have no easy way to explain what you will read next. So please take your time to read the next words.
I guess the easiest way to start is to explain why I didn't come to your birthday. I did not chicken out. I just could not come. I was just stuck at the hospital because of an unforeseeable turn of events, giving birth to our daughter.
Yes, you read this correctly. We have a daughter named Grace (after your mother) Marianne (after Mary and Ann). She looks a bit like you as a baby, and I have attached some pictures of her to this letter for you to see her.
I know this seems like it comes out of nowhere, and believe me, I was the one who got the biggest surprise. I had no idea that I was pregnant. I woke up in the middle of the night before your birthday with cramps so terrible that I had to go to the hospital where I learned that I was apparently in labour.
The doctors explained afterwards that I had what they call a cryptic pregnancy. Apparently, because I took the morning after pill following our night together, my brain convinced my body that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. And therefore, my body complied to this command.
For nine months, I had no idea that I was carrying a new life inside of me, I kept on living as if nothing had changed because I had no sign of a baby growing inside of me. I was robbed of everything that makes a mother anxious to meet her baby because I put all my faith in modern medicine.
I never got to see my stomach grow, feel my daughter kick from the inside of my womb, anticipate her arrival for nine months, prepare for her arrival like any proper mother would. She arrived out of nowhere, and in a second, I changed from the old me to a mother.
And yet, I regret nothing. I can't even imagine what life would be without her. She is very alert, even though she is just nine months old, but that might be just the new Mom in me seeing my baby as the eighth wonder of the world.
I have been speaking to her mostly in Spanish, so she can learn two languages from the start. Just a few months ago, I had my first Mama, and I can't describe how it made me feel. It was probably the happiest moment of my life.
Anyway, all of this to say that our daughter is amazing. In all honesty, I tried to tell you when you left for Macau, but you didn't even want to talk over the phone. And it scared me. Not for me, but for Grace. I have been a neglected child and I never want my daughter to feel this way.
Yes, I know how you feel about children. And I know how much your company means to you. I understand with all my heart. But I also know that a child deserves unconditional love. And after being rebuffed for just trying to talk to you, I felt that you would never be able to give that to our daughter.
So, I decided to keep her to myself.
But now that Christmas is approaching, I am starting to wonder if maybe it was my wounded ego talking, my inner scarred child projecting her fears and abandonment on Grace. Now that Christmas is approaching, I realise I don't want Grace to grow up without a father, I don't want her to grow up as I did.
I'm not asking for your money; I'm not even asking you to step up as her Dad. Just as her father; this male figure she will learn to rely on. I want my baby to have what I didn't have. And I do realize that this is asking a lot from you.
So, I will understand if you decide to turn your back on us, because of the inconvenience we now are. If you do so, all I ask is for you to talk to her when she will be old enough to ask questions and understand the answers. If you decide to cross us off from your life, I won't bother you ever again, and I will raise our daughter alone, to the best of my abilities.
But there is a small part of me sincerely hoping that it won't come to that. That you won't make me have to dodge the awkward questions alone when the time comes. That you will show up on our doorstep in a couple of days with a teddy bear for our daughter. But as I said earlier, I am a romantic, and I know you're not.
Pragmatically thinking, this is a terrible thing happening to you, and you might not even believe me when I say that Grace is yours. I am aware I might never hear from you again, and if this is the case, I understand. It might be that you already forgot about us and won't put two thoughts into this letter.
If I don't hear from you, I will know where you stand, and all I can ask of you is to not contact me if you don't want anything to do with us. Once again, I will understand. I don't think my heart would be able to bear hearing you say you don't want anything to do with us. As Ana, or as a mother, I'd rather a radio silence. But if it happens that you do want to be in our lives, my number is on the back of this letter, and my address on the envelope.
In any case, I won't speak ill of you to our daughter, and I wish you well in all your future endeavours. I truly hope that you will find the happiness and fulfilment that you keep on chasing through work.
With Love,
Ana & Grace
❌PLEASE DO NOT COPY, DOWNLOAD OR SHARE THIS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE❌
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
💚 So, yes, Grace is Christian's daughter. Hihi, As I said, it was hinted in the previous story when Ana and Christian had this conversation at the beginning of this chapter. And see, no cliffhanger, I can be nice. Now, I can't promise the same thing for the next chapter.
💚What do you think Christian now? And how do you feel about Ana's accusations as to who he called first? And how do you feel about his reaction to the letter?
💚 If you read carefully, the letter says more than information about Grace. Don't fear, this story will have a different outcome to the previous one.💚 I'm always curious about your favourite part, and what you think will happen next, so let me know.
💚 E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, Everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors).
Love, Mina 💚💚💚