Chapter 5

Of Food and Friends

The greatest benefit to having nothing was that one had nothing to lose. Without hope, one could not be disappointed. Without friends, one could not be betrayed. Without a heart, it could not be broken. This was the premise on which Ulquiorra had functioned for time immemorable. It was a cold, hard, irrefutable truth, and it formed the basis of his existence. Others clung to their pride and their positions, their Fracciones and friends, their powers and possessions. As these things were lost and taken from them, Ulquiorra watched the individuals fall, crushed. He was different; he had nothing; he wanted nothing; therefore nothing could be taken from him. Even in his Arrancar transformation, he alone among his brethren had chosen not to pursue power but rather self-preservation. His regenerative abilities surpassed any other, though his strength did not. He needed nothing and no one; he was sufficient unto himself. And if he was not sufficient, then he did not deserve to live. He would rely on no one and nothing else. He was alone. Always.

The woman herself had originally confirmed his position. He had seen how her friends had weakened her and how she had in turn weakened them. If not for her love of her friends, the woman would never have come with him, walking willingly into the lair of her enemies. If not for their friendship with her, her friends would have remained in the Land of the Living, rather than to rush headlong to their deaths. The fact that they had survived ─ all of them ─ was strange and warranted interest. How had they survived, while relying on each other? How, when one would throw him or herself into death's grasp, as the Quincy had done with Ulquiorra on the roof of Las Noches, merely to buy the others a little time, would they all yet survive? They would not merely survive; they would vanquish. How? Why?

It was on these questions that Ulquiorra chose to focus his thoughts as he stood in the living quarters of his former prisoner, gazing stoically around himself as he listened to her moving busily about her little kitchen. There were many other questions that could occupy his mind: questions which may have been the answers to these that he now asked.

Why had the humans pitied him?

He remembered well when he had stood before Kurosaki, just after the latter had risen as if from the dead while Ulquiorra himself was dying. He remembered the look in the substitute Shinigami's eyes as Ulquiorra had ordered the other to kill him: pity, sorrow, regret. Why?

"I don't want to win like this!" Kurosaki had shouted.

What did that even mean? He remembered the look in the woman's eyes as she gazed at him, watching him die. Again, it was of pity, sorrow, sadness. Why? He was their enemy. He had tried to kill her chosen protector. Why would she pity him?

These were the questions he did not wish to ask, because he feared that in them might prove to be the answer of the hidden strength of these humans. Was it possible that these tender emotions ─ this "heart" ─ was what gave them their ability to overcome every obstacle? He hoped that it was not so.

It was these questions that had driven Ulquiorra to accept Kurosaki's offer to come to the Land of the Living. He had wanted to discover what it was that was so unique about this group of humans. It was this thirst for knowledge which had caused him to accept the offer of his former prisoner, putting himself in what had once been her position, albeit under very different circumstances. And it was this that now gave him the mental fortitude to wear (temporarily, of course) the moderately hideous form of the Shinigami most renowned among the Espada: creator of the Hōgyoku, Urahara Kisuke.

"Supper's ready!" came the enthusiastic voice of the human woman, interrupting his thoughts.

Without a word, Ulquiorra turned and walked in the direction of her voice. Perhaps he would take this time to ask her some of these questions.

Perhaps.

"I hope you like it!" exclaimed Orihime, watching as Ulquiorra lifted the spoon. "It's my own special recipe!"

Ulquiorra looked down at the bowl before him. It was like nothing he had ever seen. The colors and scents were far more varied than any dish in Hueco Mundo would have been. What was this? He said nothing, however, and simply took a large bite, chewed, and swallowed. No expression crossed his stalwart face. He simply paused, looking down at the bowl. Orihime continued to swallow her own meal, watching and waiting for his reaction.

"Well?" she asked at last. "What do you think?"

Ulquiorra set down the spoon, still looking at the dish before him.

"I never understood why you would, at times, refuse so steadfastly to eat," he said calmly. "Now I see. As a Hollow, I had not tasted food from the Land of the Living, so I could not know how different it is. If the food that we served to you in Hueco Mundo tasted in your human mouth as this does in mine, I can only admire your strength in eating as well as you did." Lifting his eyes at last to look at her directly, he continued, still in his usual monotone, "I should apologize for having been so harsh with you on that subject. I did not realize the pain that it must have caused you to eat it."

"Oh!" exclaimed Orihime. "No! It wasn't painful at all! It was boring, I suppose, but it didn't..." She trailed off as she seemed finally to understand what he was implying. Now it was her turn to lower her eyes sadly. "You don't like it," she murmured.

"There is no reason for you to be unhappy," replied Ulquiorra. "I am not human. It is to be expected that my body will react differently to human foods than will yours."

"No, it's not that." Orihime smiled sadly as she swirled the noodles in her own bowl. "You're not the only one. Most people seem to think that my cooking is ... funny."

"I would not have used that word to describe it."

Orihime blushed. "Well, you don't need to eat it."

"That is a benefit of being an Espada."

"Hm?" she looked at him in confusion.

"I have no need of eating physical foods."

"Oh. That's not what I meant! I... Never-mind."

Ulquiorra looked at her curiously, but Orihime simply smiled sweetly and continued to wolf down her own meal.

"We should try other recipes too!" she exclaimed between bites. "I want to find out what sort of foods taste good to you."

After that, the two sank into silence, both looking down at the dishes in front of them. Orihime licked her lips awkwardly and continued to eat as her thoughts moved madly through her brain. There was so much she wanted to say, if she could only start! Although Ulquiorra didn't move or show what he was thinking, he too was absorbed in thought, considering whether to speak now or to wait. At last, both came to a decision, and consequently both spoke at the same time.

"Ulquiorra──"

"What would──"

Both stopped to look at the other, and Orihime quickly smiled.

"You first!" she exclaimed.

Ulquiorra simply looked at her, then opened his mouth again to speak.

Knock-knock-knock.

"Oh! Who can that be, so late?" Orihime looked at her guest apologetically before jumping up from the table to answer the door.

"Sado-kun!" she exclaimed a moment later. "What are you doing here?"

"I ... was just in the area," began the larger boy uncomfortably. "I just wanted to check on you. I hope that that's alright."

"Oh, it's fine! That's so sweet! Yes, I'm just fine," smiled Orihime.

"Hm," nodded Chad, apparently not sure what to say next.

"Would you like to come in?" asked Orihime, seeing his hesitancy to leave and wanting to set his mind at ease.

"T-t-thank you," murmured the half-Mexican, entering the apartment awkwardly.

"Ulquiorra and I were just having dinner," continued Orihime, shutting the door and moving toward the kitchen. "I'll set another place! Have you eaten?"

Ulquiorra, glancing at the newcomer, observed the color drain quickly from the latter's face as he said, "Please don't bother; I've eaten. Thank you." Turning to the Espada, the boy said simply, "Hello."

Ulquiorra nodded silently in response.

"Well, I'll set another place anyway, in case you change your mind," smiled Orihime, coming back from the kitchen with a bowl, cup, napkin, and utensils. "It's chocolate ramen with shrimp and bean paste. It's very good! Ulquiorra can't eat it though, because──"

Knock-knock-knock.

"Oh!" exclaimed Orihime again. "I didn't expect this much company tonight. I should have made more food."

Opening the door again, she was met with the sight of another friend.

"Kurosaki-kun," she smiled. "Did you come to see how I was too?"

"Huh?" asked Ichigo. "Someone else did?"

"Yes," nodded Orihime. "Sado-kun just arrived too. Did you want to come in?"

"Well..."

Orihime just smiled seeing the same hesitancy in Kurosaki that she had seen in Chad. She thought it so sweet of them to be worried about her, even though she knew that it was silly of them. Still, she didn't want to tell them that they were being silly. It was much more polite to let them feel like they were protecting her. She ushered Kurosaki into the apartment, offering to fetch him a bowl also, but Chad moved aside from the still-clean place set for him, saying again that he had eaten and that Kurosaki could take his place. Ichigo quickly informed them all that he had already eaten likewise, but he did sit down.

Orihime sat back down herself to resume her meal, wondering whether the three males would start speaking or whether she would need to prevent an awkward silence, but neither happened.

Knock-knock-knock.

Again, Orihime rose, this time with a short giggle. "I'll be right back," she smiled.

"Ishida-kun! I thought that that was you!" she exclaimed, opening the door again.

"Eh? I didn't realize I was expected."

"Of course!" Orihime pulled him into the apartment, still grinning, and turned to present the small group already crowded around her little table. "Come on in!"

"Oh," was all that Uryū said, seeing the other two there.

"Hey, Ishida," called Ichigo. "What are you doing here, huh?"

"Same as you, Kurosaki. At least, I hope so."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

Orihime returned to her meal, trying to convince her three friends to join her, but all insisted that they had eaten and weren't hungry. Ichigo had asked (with a slight smirk) why Ulquiorra wasn't eating, to which Orihime had replied that a Hollow's sense of taste was very different from a human's and that the food didn't agree with his unique palate. The three boys then looked at the Espada with what he would have considered suspicion and a tinge of envy. This confused Ulquiorra slightly, but he didn't feel it worth his while to inquire.

Knock-knock-knock.

All looked up in surprise at this fourth interruption.

"Now, who could that be?" asked Orihime, rising once more to answer the door.

"Urahara-san would be the only other one I would expect," said Uryū, earning a laugh from Orihime.

"Old Hat-and-Clogs come here?" grinned Ichigo. "That would be a first."

"Tatsuki-chan!" exclaimed Orihime a moment later. "What are you doing here? How did you know?"

"Eh? Know what?" asked Tatsuki. "I just stopped by to──" Looking past Orihime at the group gathered there, Tatsuki's eyebrows rose. "What's all this? Are you having a party, and I wasn't invited?"

"Oh, no! You're invited! Come on in!" Orihime ushered her friend into the room with a smile. "Have you had supper?"

"Actually, it's not a party, Tatsuki," called Ichigo. "It's coincidence. This wasn't planned."

"Really? You're going to tell me that all of you came here──" She stopped, seeing Ulquiorra/Urahara. "What is he doing here? You going to tell me that that's coincidence too?" She gasped. "You all are planning another mission, aren't you?! Where are you going this time?" Turning to Orihime, she continued, "If you're leaving again, I'm going with you all. I'm not letting you traipse across other dimensions alone again, especially after what happened last time! It's pretty clear that these idiots can't keep you safe!"

"No, no, Tatsuki, it's nothing like that!" exclaimed Orihime, waving her arms in protest. "We're not going anywhere!"

"Really? Like I'm supposed to believe that!"

"Really! We're not!"

"Then what's going on?!"

"If you must know," called Ishida, his voice as calm as always, rising in volume slightly but only to be heard over Tatsuki's frustrated exclamations, "we are reminiscing about our prior adventures, not planning any new ones. Let me assure you that none of us have any desire to repeat our last 'traipse,' as you put it."

Tatsuki didn't seem satisfied, but the others all insisted that it was the case (except for Ulquiorra who remained silent). At last, Tatsuki settled down and joined the group. She said that she had just been passing by and thought to stop in to see how Orihime was doing. Orihime had to struggle not to laugh hysterically at this, seeing that it was the same reason that the first three had given (or planned to give) for coming. With Tatsuki, however, she knew that it was true.

To keep up appearances, they did begin a brief discussion of their prior adventure, and Tatsuki participated with questions of her own. What had been supposed to be a very brief visit ended by becoming a long, drawn-out conversation. None seemed to mind. It was good to be able to talk through everything again. Ulquiorra had sat quietly, not participating, unless he was asked a question. Whenever he was, it turned out to be awkward, because those who knew who he was didn't want Tatsuki to know, and hence they would only question him when they forgot this, meaning that it was a question to which he (as Urahara) shouldn't know the answer anyway. When Tatsuki asked him a question, it was with the assumption that he was who he wasn't, which meant that he truly didn't know the answer. Tatsuki did seem to wonder at his strange silence or short, vague answers, but the others were always quick to change the direction of the conversation. Orihime tried to help this at one point by asking Ulquiorra to come and help her with the dishes, just to excuse him from the conversation, but then Ishida had stood, stating that he could help also which, in turn, led to a general consensus that all would help, as well as they were able.

None had realized how late it was getting until the little clock struck eleven. By then, they had finished the dishes and put everything back in order, and Chad commented that he should be getting home, seeing that they had school in the morning. Once more, all agreed, and thus the general exodus began. Tatsuki looked askance at Ulquiorra when the latter gave no indication that he was leaving, but Orihime quickly stated that she needed "Urahara-san" to stay late, because she wanted his help with something. She then gave Tatsuki a hug, assuring her that she'd see her first thing in the morning. Unsatisfied and still suspicious, Tatsuki did finally just sigh and leave, choosing to trust her friend.

After closing the door behind Tatsuki, Orihime gave a huge yawn.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I didn't realize how sleepy I was! I guess it's been a long day."

"Hm," was Ulquiorra's only response.

Orihime leaned against the door, thinking that now would perhaps be a good time to talk, but also wondering whether she'd be able to keep her thoughts in order with how tired she was. She licked her lips, considering.

"You have duties tomorrow?" asked Ulquiorra, interrupting her thoughts.

"Huh?" asked Orihime, snapping back to the present. "Oh! Yes, I have school. It starts early, so I might be gone before you get up in the morning."

"You should sleep."

Orihime blinked. Yes, she should, but... Another yawn interrupted her train of thought before it could really begin. Yes, she should sleep.

"Okay," she nodded. "I'll put together a bed for you first, so you can sleep too. Tōshirō-kun always slept here when he would stay in the Land of the Living, and he never complained, so I hope that it was comfortable. Really, I've never heard him complain about things here, but he does complain about Rangiku-san and other things from Soul Society, so I think he might say something if it wasn't nice."

Orihime smiled as she spread a futon on the living room floor while speaking of her Shinigami friends. Ulquiorra didn't react to her speech, merely watching her in silence, so she continued to explain about her other-worldly visitors as she stretched a cover and quilt over the bedding. Once finished, Orihime paused, then awkwardly bid him goodnight, hoping that he would sleep well. Ulquiorra simply nodded once in acknowledgement.

"Um," she stammered. "I'll be gone at school most of the day, so ... will you be alright alone?"

"I will return to Urahara Kisuke's shop to report on the experience thus far with the gigai," replied Ulquiorra.

"Oh, that's right," smiled Orihime. "Do you know how to get back there from here?"

"Yes."

"Hm," nodded Orihime. Hesitating once more, she finally nodded and turned toward her own room. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then!"

No response came from her temporary roommate, but Orihime hadn't exactly expected one. Had he ever had a roommate? She almost wanted to ask. The thought of him sleeping in the same room with one of the other Espada was enough to make her grin in amusement or cringe in horror, depending on which one she placed there in her mind. Thinking through each of them was enough to occupy her mind while she readied herself for bed, laid out her school clothes for the morning, mentally walked through what she would take for lunch, and finally crawled into her own bed and turned out the light.

Lying there in bed and thinking back over the incredibly eventful day, Orihime suddenly remembered that Ulquiorra had started to ask her something at dinner. What had he wanted to ask? She knew that she could wait until morning, but then he might be gone to Urahara-san's, and then she might forget, or he might forget, or her friends might come to visit again, or...

"Ulquiorra?" she called softly.

"Yes?" came his voice from the other room.

"Are you still awake?"

"Obviously."

Orihime bit her lip. "Um, you started to ask me something at supper," she called back. Receiving no response, she continued, "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

Again, there was silence for a short time.

"I wanted to ask what you would have me call you," came his response at last.

"Huh?"

"In Hueco Mundo, you were the only human. My designation of you was appropriate. Here, it is not so."

Orihime thought about it and realized that he hadn't called her anything since he'd arrived. As the question sunk in, she found herself smiling happily. How sweet! He actually wanted to call her by name! That was special and showed that he had certainly come a long way from the unfeeling Hollow that he had been. How much else about him had changed? She then realized the other part of what he had just said: in Hueco Mundo she was the only human. So did that mean that if they were back in Hueco Mundo, he would still not call her by name? Maybe he wasn't being sweet; maybe he was just being efficient. Yes, that was most likely the case. She gave a little sigh, realizing that he probably hadn't really changed that much. It was just wishful thinking on her part. She dwelt on this for only moment before realizing that she still hadn't answered him.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "You can call me Orihime. That's what Tatsuki calls me. Kurosaki-kun calls me Inoue, and Ishida-kun still says Inoue-san, which is sort of cute, coming from him, but I don't mind people calling me Orihime. Some of my teachers at school do, and others still say Inoue. Actually, Urahara-san says both; I guess it depends on what he's thinking. So, since you're in Urahara-san's body for now, you could use both for now, and then later, when you have your own gigai, you could use whichever you like better!"

There was again silence.

"Ulquiorra?" she called hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Are you still awake?"

At that, she thought that she heard a faint sigh.

"Yes," came his voice again.

"Okay." She waited, but he didn't speak again. Finally, she called, "Well, goodnight then! See you in the morning!"

"Goodnight," came his simple reply.

A/N: Who but Ulquiorra could so sweetly and inoffensively inform Orihime that having to consume her cooking should be considered a mild form of torture? Yes, that's basically what he said, although he truly meant nothing unkind by it.