Dallas, Texas

"Oh JR", empathising with her husband as he responded to her concern in a very emotionally charged manner, Sue Ellen took his hand and moved a little closer to him as he sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like you had done something wrong and therefore it was your responsibility to make the first move; I was simply suggesting that now may be a good time to open the topic for discussion; I can see now that that suggestion was a mistake though. For what it's worth, I really do believe your mama is beginning to see the light and realise the reality of what it was like for you, but I completely understand your perspective too; I wouldn't automatically believe my mother had had an epiphany either, not after the experiences I've had with her. You have every right and it's only natural for you to feel angry and upset about how things were. It must have been very confusing and painful for you during your childhood when you were around the rest of your family, and from what you've told me about the lack of effort your mama made to build a relationship with you as an adult, I truly do understand why you would be sceptical and annoyed".

"I'm not your superior, I'm not going to tell you what to do or punish you when you don't follow my directions; I am your wife though and I want to support you, and I think part of supporting you means offering you my opinion sometimes. Whether it's you or your mama that makes the first move, I really do think you need to talk, to both of your parents, but just your mama at the moment, for your own peace of mind and for the sake of your relationship. Like I said before, it won't be easy or enjoyable, but I honestly don't think it will be quite as bad as you're psyching yourself into thinking it will be. I know it's hard to imagine now and I know I wasn't there in the past so I don't have anything to compare it to, but I can't imagine Miss Ellie really responding with criticism, disappointment or indifference, not after the conversation I had with her. She seemed to be seeing things clearly for the first time and I think that's shaken her as much as this conversation has shaken you. If you really don't want to make the first move, then don't, but please, for your own good and for the potential good that could come from a stronger relationship between you two, please don't ignore her or respond aggressively if she tries to start a conversation. Alternatively, I suppose you could do nothing at all and hope she also does nothing, but like I said before, what does that achieve? You have an opportunity to finally say all of the things you have wanted to say and I think you'd really benefit from doing just that".

Gently running her fingers along his hand and wrist, Sue Ellen tried her best to bring JR back to a calmer state of mind, though she completely understood why he was so worked up. Of course it was difficult for him to hear his mother supposedly regretted many of the things that had shaped him into who he was, and of course he was sceptical of that claim; he'd been hurt a lot during his life and he was used to accepting that that's just how it was and how it would always be. She wasn't interested in arguing with him and she wouldn't fight Miss Ellie's cause any more than she had, but she did want to support him in bettering his life and she did believe that to do that meant being firm and realistic with him about how things had to be for change to occur. Feeling his breathing evening out a little and seeing him loosen his grip on his glass, she knew something she was saying was getting through to him and he was relaxing, even if it was only because she had told him he could do nothing if he really wanted to. She knew her husband, he was a strong man who wasn't afraid of confrontation or making difficult decisions and when prompted enough, he would talk openly, their sessions with Doctor Williams had proven that, but she also knew how damaged he was from his relationship with his family and she knew it was hard for him to confront those feelings. He was 'JR Ewing', he wasn't supposed to be vulnerable or emotional and she knew that although he'd long-ago come to terms with the fact that with her he could be those things around her, he still struggled with accepting that it was ok to be that way around other people too. He didn't want to show his family how much they had hurt him, not just because he didn't want to be seen as weak and making a fuss, but because he didn't want to confront his feelings. He also didn't want to open himself up to more pain and additional negative memories, she understood that and she empathised with him, but she wanted him to understand that she supported him and she would be there for him every step of the way.

"I won't be rude, she's my mother and I do have some manners, but I can't and won't guarantee that anything will go as you want it to. You have a different relationship with my mother than I do and don't even get me started on the kind of problems this is going to cause for me and daddy. So you're right, it's not going to be easy, if it even happens, because there's no guarantee it will since I'm sure as hell not starting the conversation; and it's not going to be fun, because it is a serious topic and there are serious, real feelings and real, strong personalities involved. I know you want the best for me and you envision some perfect little conversation where we all express our feelings, hug, and then everything is ideal and all inequality and negativity is erased, but it doesn't happen like that and I have to be realistic before I go into any conversation". Listening to JR as he spoke and watching him then gulp down his drink and rub his forehead, Sue Ellen knew he was nearing the end of his tolerance for their conversation, so when he placed his glass down on the coffee table and looked back at her, she wasn't surprised to hear him verbalise that. "Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore, so let's drop it"; they weren't finished talking, not really, there was a lot more they could say if they were both in the same headspace, but she understood his position and why he wasn't interested in talking anymore, and she respected that. He wasn't ready and she wasn't going to push him. "Ok", nodding, she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek and she was pleasantly surprised when he pulled her in closer for a hug; he was upset, angry, and annoyed with his parents, but he wasn't upset with her specifically, and knowing that made her happy and a little less stressed. Their relationship was strong and good and for now, that was enough.

To be continued…