Dallas, Texas

Not fazed by JR's outbursts, Doctor Williams used his usual calm, rational tone of voice as he responded to JR's demand for answers. "Ok, well, firstly, I don't know who Jack is in relation to your family, but I don't think that really truly matters either, his presence in your father's life obviously bothers you and you're lashing out at him and your father. From what you and your mother have said though, I can understand why you would feel threatened and upset by his presence and why you would want to expel him from your world. It sounds to me like you're fed up with having to compete for something that should be free to you and that you can't understand why it isn't, your experience as a father yourself brings a whole new set of questions to the table, questions that your father himself probably needs to answer".

"That brings me to my second thought, it sounds to me like you're not focusing your energy in the right place, you're blaming everyone but your father directly for what you perceive to be an injustice in your life. Now, I know you've spoken to your father before and it always seems to fall on deaf ears, but I don't think that necessarily justifies targeting the next person in line, for example, in the past Bobby, and now Jack. You've told me before in not so many words that you understand Bobby was raised differently to you and therefore his perspective on Ewing Oil and his relationship with your father differs to your perspective, I want you to remember that and apply it to Jack too. Where Bobby could only naturally expect to walk into a somewhat important role at Ewing Oil upon college graduation, one you had to put in the hard yards and work your way up, you understand that he only expected that because of how things had always been between him and Jock. In the same way, your father likely didn't see an issue with how he treated Bobby back then because like your mother has explained, it never occurred to him that such inequality existed so it's hard to believe when he's accused of being unfair".

"I think the same thing may be happening now, I've never met your father so I can't say for sure, but it sounds to me like he's a strong-willed man who doesn't take kindly to other people telling him he's doing things 'wrong'. He sees things like that as a personal attack rather than as a suggestion to look outside himself and see things from a different perspective. To him, there was nothing wrong with his choice to bring Bobby into the business and give him all the help in the world, and that action by itself isn't wrong, but when you put it in context of how he treated Bobby in comparison to how he treated you, there is a problem. Likewise, with Jack, I'm sure he thinks he's just doing a nice thing by showing him around Dallas and treating him well, even seemingly better than he treats you. It's unfair, and I understand that it's frustrating to you to see it and perceive his quality as a person to be beneath you and therefore beneath your family, but I think your perspective here is, like your mother said, possibly a bit biased".

"Now, I don't mean it's wrong for you to feel how you do, remember your feelings are always valid, even if they're unpopular, all I'm saying is that looking at the whole situation, I think you're taking out your anger and frustration on the wrong people. Bobby didn't set out to push you out of Ewing Oil, and I doubt Jack is expecting to gain anything near what you're assuming in your head; like your mother said too, and like we've discussed in the past, Ewing Oil is yours anyway, so even if things did change, nothing extreme can happen without your involvement. Your father is set to retire in the next couple of years and at that point half of Ewing Oil is yours, not just to run, but to own, then a long time in the future, ownership and control passes to you entirely; you have a legal agreement and he cannot break that agreement without consequences. You're safe in respect to Ewing Oil, I don't think that's something you have to worry about. What is on your mind and I absolutely support you doing is making a statement in your personal life, not toward Bobby or Jack though, toward your father himself. I know, I know, you've tried and it's gone nowhere, believe me, I understand your frustration, I just don't believe taking your anger out on associated parties who haven't directly harmed you".

"Now, I know you'll not accept that without a suggestion for change, so I'll tell you honestly here, right now I don't see things as being all that workable with your father. You can only do so much before you've exhausted your options and are simply waiting for a response; in this case, I think communicating clearly and directly with your father is the best option, but if he's not listening to you when you do that, then you either try a different communication style, or you take a break. Taking a break is a last resort; it can often be hard to come back from, even if in the short-term it seems like the most pleasant option, so trying a different style of communication might work better, even if it is frustrating and feels pointless. What I mean by a different style of communication is instead of sitting your father down and telling him exactly how you feel, because we've established that he doesn't process that information how you want him to, you get him alone and you talk to him in a way that does make sense to him. For example, instead of telling him you feel he treats Bobby and Jack better than he treats you and you don't think that's fair, you could ask him what he thinks of your relationship, then what he thinks of his relationships with others, and how and why those two things differ".

"Again, I don't know him, but it sounds like he's very traditional and set in his ways, he attaches titles and roles to people and those titles and roles are hard to shake off, much the same way Patricia was with Sue Ellen. If you get to understand the way his mind works, you might further understand how you can change things, or you might make no further progress, I don't know, but neither do you, so it's worth a try. The other option if you've exhausted trying to communicate is simply moving on and waiting for things to calm and mature before trying again; that's drastic though, and difficult with so many members of your extended family intertwined with your nuclear family and your work life. You and your father are involved in a lot more together than just a father-son relationship and any changes you make will likely affect more than just your personal relationship. With that being said though, I don't think things can get much worse than they are already, so whatever you choose to do is worth it at this point".

"The third thing I wanted to say goes back to what we were talking about earlier, but also relates to what we've just been talking about. I'm sure you already understand this, but I'll repeat it anyway, if you're wanting your father to have a close relationship with John Ross, then you have to be open to facilitating that relationship, and that means putting your differences aside for a time to focus on your son and his grandson. Your mother worries that you're considering turning down dinner invitations, and I don't know if that's true or not, you can tell me now, but if it is, I do have to say, you're not helping things. John Ross is young, he doesn't have a voice yet, he's a dependant, he needs the adults in his life to assist him with almost everything and a lot of the time that means cooperating. From what I understand, your family home is intended to be for your nuclear family and to show up without invitation wouldn't be unwelcomed but it's also not encouraged; with that in mind, you have to give a little with how you choose to spend your free time, meaning you have to be considerate of the rest of the family. If we understand anything about your father it's that he's not an excellent emotional communicator, so I think for him inviting you to dinner probably is making an effort, it's what he knows and he's comfortable with, and aside from all of the other things going on, I don't think it's too much for you to make an equal effort. It doesn't have to be dinner, you can counter his invitation with one of your own, but you can't expect a positive relationship to grow out of nothing". Pausing for a few seconds to separate his statements from his question, he then spoke again, "does any of that make sense to you?"

Knowing he had been talking uninterrupted for longer than usual, Doctor Williams took great interest in both JR and Miss Ellie's body language as he waited for any kind of verbal response. With JR, he knew some of what to expect, silence and a pensive expression weren't unusual before either another outburst of frustration, or a gleeful grin at the mental realisation that things weren't as bad as he had pessimistically assumed. With Miss Ellie though, he hadn't known her for long enough to really have a good gauge on her expressions. She too looked pensive, but there was something else there too, he just didn't know what it was, it could be happiness, it could be worry, or perhaps she was impressed with him, he wasn't sure though, he would just have to wait and see.

To be continued…