Dallas, Texas

"…so I was stuck between being very close to saying why should I continue to bother with daddy, and wanting to appear to be working with the doc and his brilliant ideas…" Splitting her attention between eating her dinner, supervising John Ross eating his dinner and listening to JR recapping his day, or more importantly, his meeting with Doctor Williams and Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen's mind skipped forward a little. JR was in a mood again and she felt like she had to help him de-stress and cheer up, luckily, the short-term solution for that was easy; unluckily, the long-term solution was a bit more difficult, however, since he was seeing Doctor Williams more often now, she hoped he wouldn't continually have a negative attitude toward emotional problem solving. It was good for him to talk to a professional and begin to openly communicate with his mother, and she understood where Doctor Williams was coming from in relation to Jock, but she also understood how hard it was for JR and why the right thing to do wasn't the easy thing to do.

"I understand JR, really, I do. You're a smart man though, you can play the game for a little while longer, with your daddy and with Doctor Williams. I'm sure you understand that you have to at least look like you're trying, otherwise you're going to get more of the same from your daddy and now that you've included Doctor Williams there's going to be an opinion there to deal with too. You can do it though, you'll go to work tomorrow and act as you always do, professionally, then we'll be at Southfork for dinner and you can either split off to talk to Jock alone, trying a different approach to the issue this time, or you can act like nothing's wrong and let him think he's silenced you. Later, if he continues acting selfishly and negatively, despite your efforts, I'll support you one hundred percent in your pursuit to cut ties with him personally, it's not fair to have to keep at it when he's not even trying to be nice. Before that though, please do try talking to him again, I want John Ross to have at least one set of grandparents he has good memories with and now that my mother isn't filling that role anymore we're running out of options". Explaining her feelings briefly, Sue Ellen stopped talking as she considered what she had just told her husband. If Jock continued to be negative toward JR then she would have no problem drawing the line like they had done with her mother, however, it was more difficult with John Ross around and with Jock so close to their home; things were delicate and had to be treated as such. Although Jock had been a crappy grandfather in the past, recently things had changed a bit and she didn't want to extinguish what progress had been made before giving the relationship a chance to grow; with that in mind though, she really did hate Jock sometimes, he didn't make anything easy and that was just so unfortunate. Jock Ewing had it in him to be a nice person, she had seen it with Bobby, Lucy, John Ross, and rarely but occasionally with Miss Ellie, but he seemed to resist being free and open with affection and respect, much like JR. Things were complicated, she really wished they weren't though.

"Darlin', I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll try, but I hate this. You're right, I'm a smart man, I'm also wealthy and powerful, I shouldn't have to be dealing with this crap all the time. Daddy controls me without even trying and I loathe that, I also loathe being told to try, because I do and I do and I do and it gets me nowhere. But sure, once again I'll try…" Glaring over at his wife as he responded snippily to her annoyingly positive response to his venting, JR only calmed when John Ross made his presence clear again, pushing his plate of food back toward Sue Ellen and shaking his head before looking directly at him and babbling a string of "dadadada" sounds. Sometimes he forgot that just because their son didn't speak, didn't mean he couldn't hear and he didn't gauge the atmosphere in a room, because he could and did and it wasn't good for him to be exposed to arguing at such a young age. His parents hadn't fought much when he was young, but Sue Ellen had told him her parents had and it had worried her, and since they both wanted better for their son than what they had had themselves, he needed to take a look at his actions and change them. That was just another thing to add to the long list of things on his mind though and that frustrated him. He had tried so incredibly hard over the past year to really change and be a better man in his personal life, while still maintaining the control he had in his professional life, but it was difficult and it wasn't helped by the constant setbacks he experienced. He was a better husband, but he was struggling to achieve the better son status, and with his own son he wasn't perfect either, and for someone not used to being wrong, that was not fun.

"I'm sorry son, why don't you come and sit on daddy's lap", standing to remove John Ross from his highchair, he then sat down again a few moments later, touching Sue Ellen lightly on the shoulder as he passed her. Positioning John Ross so he was sitting in-between his legs, facing Sue Ellen, he then looked directly at his wife again before speaking, "do you mind if we continue this conversation later?" Nodding down at John Ross and seeing Sue Ellen smile and nod in response, he immediately relaxed and it was soon obvious to him how tense the whole situation was making him, and that was not a good thing. He wasn't used to feeling so bad inside and he had no desire to continue feeling the way he did. "Dadadada", redirecting his attention back down to his son, he tried to stay positive though, he and Sue Ellen had made something wonderful together and just because he had a crappy relationship with his own parents didn't mean John Ross should too. "What's that son? You want mama and daddy to play with you after dinner and then read you a story before bed? I think we can arrange that. Don't you Sue Ellen?" Looking up at his wife again, he knew things had shifted; they would talk later, or if he had his way, not talk, but for now they would focus on their son and the family they'd created together, that mattered a whole lot more than rehashing the same conversation repeatedly, and it was a heck of a lot more enjoyable. Something had to change permanently though, he could not keep doing things the way he was doing them, it was running him from the inside and as JR Ewing, he couldn't have that.

To be continued…