Dallas, Texas

"…and after a long day of fun on the farm, the piglet, the foal, and the calf's eyes drooped and when the mama pig, the mama horse, and the mama cow looked over at them, they were asleep…" Finishing reading the short picture book aloud in a low, whispery voice, JR held John Ross still for a few moments before standing and carefully placing him down into his crib. He was fairly sure that his son didn't need a story to fall asleep and wasn't extremely sensitive to movement, because by the time they got to the end of the day he was exhausted and needed his rest, but since he missed out on so many moments with him during the day, he enjoyed doting on him. He loved working at Ewing Oil and he couldn't wait to start to share that with John Ross, hopefully even permanently, but there was something completely different and enjoyable about the other part of his life, his personal life. Baby toys were much too simplistic for his mind and if he could get away with reading his son the newspaper instead of his boring books he would, but even with the dull content of the things John Ross was interested in, he still enjoyed their time together; he enjoyed seeing John Ross happy, playful, and engaged.

He was influenced too by his own childhood; he had done a lot with his father and loved it, but those things had all been his father's idea, not his own as far as he remembered. He went to the office and he learned all about the outdoors because his father wanted him to, he had never really had a choice and despite not hating everything he had done, he still didn't want to repeat everything with John Ross. He didn't want his son to feel like he wasn't allowed to pursue his own interests, so in the spirit of trying to be different to his father, he was open with John Ross, even now when he was still very young and only really interested in what he was because it was what he was exposed to most often. Seeing John Ross' face light up at the sight of the familiar baby oriented activities was worth the boredom that came with the actual content of the activities, and he hoped that later he would get to see his son react in the same manner to the things he was personally more interested in. It occurred to him that he was on a path toward turning John Ross into Gary and he hated that thought, but having a happy, relaxed son did seem more important at present than having one who lived and breathed everything Jock was interested in and nothing more.

Jumping slightly as Sue Ellen made her way over to the door, making only a small sound but letting a bit of light into the room, JR was brought back into the present, and after taking one final moment to stare down at his sleeping son, he turned and headed toward the door himself. John Ross wasn't him, nor was he Gary, he didn't have any of the same burdens either of them had had growing up as Jock Ewing's sons and it wasn't fair to mentally pin so many ideas on him, especially this early in life. He did think there was a case for being aware of what his father had done and what he didn't want to repeat though; that was really what was, he wanted to be a better father than his father had been and it was easy to get carried away with analysing the situation, but the actual solution was fairly simple.

Closing the nursery door behind him, he did as he usually did, he took a second to watch Sue Ellen as she walked and then waited for him; they had an everyday home routine, he, JR Ewing, had a routine with his wife, and he loved it. There was enough drama in other areas of his life for him to not need to create something to twist and shape into drama with Sue Ellen; they had finally created something that was solid and reliable, but also exciting. Sue Ellen was strong, but she loved him and was so open about wanting to please him that he never seemed to get bored with being with her; it was new and strangely predictable even though it was unpredictable, but that was part of why it was so comforting. He could have whatever he wanted from a woman romantically, emotionally and sexually, so long as that woman was Sue Ellen, and he was more than ok with that; what he had with her was worth more than what he had without her, especially since without her he barely had anything anymore. He wasn't fixed, he needed Doctor Williams more than he cared to admit, but he could see in his everyday life now that he was benefitting immensely from the doctor's interference in his business. "Drink?" breaking the silence in the hallway, he asked an easy question that didn't really require an answer as it was more part of their routine than anything else, and as expected, Sue Ellen nodded, kissed him on the cheek and then allowed him to lead them down the hallway.

Retiring to the living room and taking a seat on the couch, JR was thrilled when instead of trying to push him into continuing the discussion they had been having over dinner, his wife simply made them a drink and then took her position next to him, silently. She was wonderful, probably more wonderful than he was when it came to intuitively knowing what someone wanted and needed, like now, he had asked to put their discussion off until after dinner, but now that it was that time, she wasn't going to force him to talk if he clearly wasn't interested. He liked that, he liked when she didn't do what she thought she had to do in order to be a 'good wife' but instead just did what she genuinely thought was best for the situation. She knew him, she knew he was a thinker and he debated everything in his mind, and she knew that eventually he did share things with her, but he hated being forced into it; he hated talking when he wasn't in the mood to talk. He'd had a hard morning with his mother, then returning to the office he'd been busy but satisfied, then he'd come home to well-meaning questions and a complete shift in his attention, and now he was both frustrated and satisfied. He didn't want to talk about his feelings though, that's just not who he was, not naturally; he liked that Sue Ellen got that, she was quiet, observing and waiting.

She was intuitive too, waiting a few moments to confirm his mood before gently touching him, starting with his hand and moving closer to him until they were sitting in a position more for intimacy than comfort, silently waiting for him to turn their contact into more. She knew him, she knew he liked physical touch and she was good at gauging what he wanted; right now he was being sentimental, so gentle it was, but later, who knew how he would feel, she would likely understand his needs and act accordingly though, she was good like that. He appreciated her, he really did, it was rare to have someone so unconditionally supportive and loving in his life and he hoped she understood that he valued her presence, he just didn't always say so. Removing her glass from her hand and setting it down next to his, he made the final move toward showing her how he felt, wordlessly pulling her completely onto his lap and closing the gap between them. Talking was only worth so much, especially when they weren't saying anything new; being intimate with one another was worth more in his mind, he was able to convey so much without actually saying anything, it was more fun too. He had always been a man of business talk and physical pleasure, though he could do both the other way around too, he just preferred not to if given the choice, and with Sue Ellen, she made that choice easy.

To be continued…