Dallas, Texas

"…right this way Mr Ewing…" paying more attention to the feel of Bobby's hand on her back than what the hostess had to say, Pam missed the first sign that something wasn't quite right. By the time they were seated, had ordered their drinks, and had resumed their earlier conversation though, she had a small niggling feeling in the back of her mind that there was more to the situation she was in than she had originally realised. Bobby was attractive, funny, polite, and seemed genuinely interested in their conversation, but he also had a confidence about him that she couldn't quite define the source of, and subconsciously that bothered her. She didn't really know what her unconscious mind was thinking, it was unconscious, but deep inside her she knew he was hiding something, or at the very least, omitting something; she didn't have the capacity or time to analyse her cautious thoughts and feelings though, so instead she just attempted to ignore them and focus on the positive. She liked Bobby and she was enjoying getting to know him, and whatever vibe she was getting from him it wasn't one that scared her, it was just present, like she was missing something and needed another hint to jog her memory; she was enjoying talking with him though and would gladly continue.

Unfortunately, as he transitioned their conversation in a perfectly natural way, her self-awareness suddenly grew, "…what about you? You said you cheered in high school? What about college?" Sipping her wine as she listened to his question, she wondered if perhaps it wasn't Bobby that was making her a little cautious, it was her own insecurity. Savouring her wine for a moment, she decided she really didn't have much to lose by being honest though; she wouldn't want to date a man who thought less of her because she wasn't a Longhorn, or an alumna of any sort, so if he was going to judge her for that then it was best to know now. "Actually, I didn't go to college, it wasn't something I ever really had a chance to attain, and even if I did, it was a luxury we couldn't afford…" Pausing after briefly responding, she was relieved to see that he hadn't pulled back from her after hearing her confession; a lot of girls her age weren't college educated, but she imagined the majority of girls in Bobby's Mercedes-Benz-driving, diamond-ring-wearing, nepotism-filled world were, so his assumption was understandable.

"Oh…" hearing the hesitation in his voice as he responded to her statement, she took his response to mean he was more conflicted about what to say rather than that he was judging her for what she hadn't achieved, and with that assumption in mind, she felt the need to explain herself, even if it wasn't truly necessary. She didn't really want to get into her daddy's struggles with alcoholism and her family's constant struggle to get ahead when she and Bobby were still on their first date, but she needed something to explain her position, so Cliff was her scapegoat. "My brother, Cliff, he's a lawyer; for the past few years the majority of our family's income and moral support has gone toward making sure he was able to complete his degrees. After all of that there wasn't much left for me, even now, he's a practicing lawyer and we're so proud, but we still have leftover loans and everyday living expenses to pay, and with the way things are in my family it's not something I can just do". Noting his facial expression as she went into a little more detail, she blushed as she realised he was possibly a little embarrassed that he had unintentionally put his foot in his mouth and said something that had spurred her to start rambling about things more serious than varsity sport. They were so early in their relationship that it was likely he really had just been generally enquiring about her interest in cheer, not looking for her semi-honest explanation for a much more complex issue, namely her role in keeping her family afloat.

"I'm sorry Pamela, I didn't mean to pry…" looking at his date and then looking away as he realised he didn't really know what more he was supposed to say if he wasn't prying, Bobby considered everything she had just told him. Being the optimist he was, he then found himself blurting a few words out in further response, despite just seconds previously declaring he wasn't trying to involve himself in something so personal so soon. "You know, your brother's education doesn't have to hold you back. They have scholarships, you have a job, and he's a lawyer, plus, don't you think it's time he supported you the way you did him?" Looking at her again as he spoke, he knew instantly that he had offended her, despite it not being his intention, and as he had done before, he looked away in embarrassment, or avoidance.

"I'm sorry Bobby, do you hear yourself? You make college sound so easy and natural and in my experience it's not that way at all. Even grad school, you mention it in passing but you don't mention how draining it is to apply, to figure out how you're going to pay for everything, and then to actually do the work required of you. You don't know me, you don't know whether I'm smart or a complete idiot, you don't know whether I'm talented enough to be granted any scholarship, academic or otherwise, and most importantly, you don't know what I want. You've known me for all of an hour and you're already assuming that I feel like I missed out on something and should find a way to make it happen, even though I never told you whether I felt that way or not". More upset now than she had been earlier when she had been the one doing all the talking, Pam briefly wondered what she had entered into when she had contacted Sue Ellen. She wasn't after Bobby's money and he didn't seem to dislike her because she had admitted to not being as privileged as him, but for some reason they were clashing over something that only people with money considered to be easy, and she didn't really know why. He had asked about college cheer and she had gone off on a tangent, then he had apologised for prying, made what was likely an honest, naïve comment, and the she had gone off at him; it made sense, but it didn't. She liked to believe she wasn't embarrassed about not having a formal education, but if their conversation was anything to go by, she was at least sensitive about it, that was new information to her. She didn't understand it, she didn't have a type in the sense that she only dated rich men or men on the same level of wealth as her, she had experience with both, but never before had it niggled at her like it was now, and never before had she reacted in a way like she just had. It was puzzling and embarrassing, she liked Bobby and she didn't want to ruin what good they had managed to build simply because she overreacted to an honest question.

Bobby felt similar to Pamela, he didn't understand what was going on, but he felt bad about it. He hadn't been nervous earlier in the evening, in fact he'd felt pretty confident that things were going well, but then somehow things had spiralled downward and now they were here, him feeling embarrassed for saying something that had offended her, and her offended or upset about his words, or more importantly, the opinions behind his words. Never one to purposely hurt someone's feelings though, he felt the need to apologise and smooth things over, even if he wasn't quite sure whether it was his responsibility seeing as it appeared she had just overreacted to a question he had asked. "I'm sorry Pamela, you're right, we don't really know each other and it's crazy for us to make judgements assuming that we do. I don't know what more to say, I don't need you to have a college education, I was really just reacting to what I assumed you were trying to say. That's the word we're having trouble with here though, assumed; I probably assumed too much, but I think you might have too; getting into grad school isn't an easy process and if I made it sound like it was then I take it back. I think we're way beyond the original point though; I was just trying to make conversation about college cheer. Sue Ellen cheered for UT; I thought that perhaps you might have too. I assumed, but I shouldn't have. I'd really like to forget that I asked though. Do you think perhaps we could do that? Maybe you could ask me a question and this time I'll answer as honestly and unassumingly as possible". Smiling at her boyishly, the way he did with his mother when he wanted her to remember he was her youngest son, the one who could get away with more than his brothers could, he looked her in the eye and hoped for the best. All he could do was apologise for his faux pas and attempt to move on, the rest was up to Pamela.

"I'd like that. I'm sorry too, I guess I overanalysed your question and then got defensive. I haven't had an easy life and sometimes defensive is my natural setting. I am sorry though, I was short with you and I shouldn't have been". Pausing for a second to separate the two parts of her response, Pam then continued talking, taking his invitation to heart and using the opportunity to ask him something she had been wondering about for a while, "I think we've talked about my life enough for now. Tell me about you; I know you played football in high school and college, and I know you don't play for a team anymore because you travel for work, but what is it that you're actually doing when you're travelling? Tell me about your job, it sounds so much more interesting than my infinite loop of typing and filing". Leaning forward again from where she had previously leaned back due to her annoyance with him, she then waited for his response; she genuinely did want to know the answer, she liked him and she wanted to get to know him, despite the small blip in their interaction earlier.

To be continued…