Dallas, Texas

Listening to Sue Ellen explaining her feelings, it took Pam a few moments to realise that she was being completely serious and not exaggerating, because the amount of thought she put into her personal relationships was almost unreal and unbelievable to her. Considering it in context though, it probably made sense, Sue Ellen was like no one she had ever met, and while that wasn't all bad, it also wasn't all good. Sue Ellen didn't have a job to occupy her time or expand her social circle and although she knew she did some charity work, she could understand why that work hadn't resulted in friends as much as it had acquaintances; the most those women seemed to have in common was free time and good fashion sense. As for the rest of Sue Ellen's life, she honestly didn't really know much more than what she had pieced together from their discussions and her brief date with Bobby; she guessed that as the wife of a wealthy man though, she didn't spend her days keeping house and changing diapers, giving her a lot of time to think. With that in mind, it was understandable that she had overanalysed the distinction between friends and acquaintances, she probably spent a great deal of time thinking, it wasn't like she had much else to do.

Regarding the question of whether they could be friends, she was torn. At one point she would have said yes, and even now, she had the urge to say yes, because she couldn't deny what Sue Ellen was saying, they had had some connection in the past; now though, things were so different and she didn't know if she could ever let go of her feelings enough to make it work. Sue Ellen was married to JR Ewing and while she didn't know the man personally, she knew enough of his reputation to know he was very much his father's protégé, and any man that purposely chose to follow in Jock Ewing's footsteps wasn't a man she wanted anything to do with. The same could be said for Bobby, he had seemed so nice, until he had defended his father with a deluded sense of right and wrong; it was all just so infuriating and frankly sad, and although she knew that in one way it wasn't her problem to fight, she felt she should, her father deserved at least that.

"Sue Ellen… are you sure this is what you want? It's nothing against you personally, because I'm sure you're not involved in business, but I have to be honest, I think I would find it difficult to pretend like there's nothing weird about our different situations, or that the bad blood present between my daddy and your father-in-law doesn't exist. I really don't mean to hurt your feelings, you have to believe me, I just don't understand why you want this? Why me? I understand you felt some connection and I can't deny I felt it too, but can't you see how complicated this situation is? Can you really see an easy future for us? Our lives are so different and with that comes different problems. You were honest with me, so I owe you the same honesty, the privileged life you live might not satisfy your social needs and I feel for you on an emotional level, but I can't relate and I find it difficult to understand your unhappiness. I'm sure you would find it difficult to understand my life too".

"Do you see the problem? On a basic, surface level we're compatible, I like you and I like Bobby, but when you dig a little deeper all I see are problems and potential problems. If what I hear from Bobby is true, your husband and father-in-law are very involved in the oil business. It might sound selfish and insensitive, but I feel like me getting involved with you or Bobby would just bring out the worst in me, because being so close to the people that are directly involved in something that damaged my family isn't just something I can ignore. To go with that though, I think our lives are so different that it's always going to be obvious and on my mind if we did try to ignore it. Does that make any sense? It's not you as a person necessarily, I think you have a lot to offer as a friend and I think if our circumstances were different, we could be friends, but you're a Ewing and as silly as it may sound to you, I really have a hard time seeing past that".

Attempting to respond in a way that Sue Ellen could understand her perspective, Pam immediately felt terrible as she noted the clear change in Sue Ellen's demeanour as she spoke, she looked crushed, and it was understandable why she would feel that way. Sue Ellen had put herself out there in hope that she would receive a positive response, but instead, what she had received had been lukewarm at best. To Pam, what she had said was true, on one hand it was completely baffling that a woman of Sue Ellen's wealth, social standing, and age actually managed to still find something to complain about in her life, because from her perspective, that life sounded blissfully easy. On the other hand though, she really did empathise with Sue Ellen, because perfect circumstances or not, clearly she wasn't completely happy, despite wanting to be. With both sides on her mind though, she still didn't really understand Sue Ellen or her feelings and she wasn't confident she was really the right person to help Sue Ellen move past whatever those issues actually were.

The bigger issue than that though was their family circumstances and the inevitable animosity any friendship or relationship would create, not to mention the awkwardness of the whole thing. It wasn't rich people she had an issue with, in fact, she had been on dates with several men who had more money than her family and she couldn't pretend it wasn't nice to live in a world full of nice things and experiences for a little while, such a world that was foreign to her. What she really took issue with was the Ewing wealth, there was nothing honest or respectable about how the Ewing family had made their money and she genuinely found it hard to see beyond that when thinking about anything more than the present.

Even with perfectly valid reasons behind why she had said what she had said though, she still felt bad seeing Sue Ellen visibly deflating. The lady had just told her how lonely and in need of a friend she was and in response she had practically called her spoilt and ridiculous because she was unable to relate. On top of that, she had then laid out her less than positive opinion of her family, despite the fact that Sue Ellen wasn't really involved in the part of the family that most offended her. Sure, Sue Ellen benefited from the wealth generated by Ewing Oil, the company that had ruined her father and their family unit, but Sue Ellen herself wasn't at the office or out in the fields, and in her vulnerable state, receiving the response she had given to her problems was probably the last thing she needed to hear.

The situation was complicated, more complicated than it should be. On one hand, it was easy to just explain her feelings and give up on even trying because there was no way a Barnes and a Ewing would ever get along, no matter how much she liked Sue Ellen or how attracted she was to Bobby. On the other hand though, that was just it, she did like Sue Ellen and she was attracted to Bobby, so walking away seemed to be much less effective. Physically, she could remove herself from the situation, but as much as she tried to pretend that she was emotionally doing the same thing, it was quickly becoming clear that that wasn't quite the truth.

To be continued…