Dallas, Texas

"A Barnes? Darlin', what in the world would possess you to want to spend time with anyone from that family?" listening to JR responding to her description of her evening, one that included a not-so-casual namedrop, Sue Ellen wasn't sure whether she found his reaction amusing or offensive because in a way, it was both. "Bobby I understand, he's always been blinded by a pretty face and loose morals, but you, I never thought you'd be interested in finding out more about the reality of life for the masses, and even if you were, does the DOA, charity work, and John Ross' playgroup not fulfil that need to feel like you're mixing with 'regular' people? What do you need another charity case for?" Raising an eyebrow as JR continued speaking, Sue Ellen found herself speechless. On one hand, he wasn't wrong about Bobby, or probably his own younger self, neither of them were exactly strong-willed when it came to pretty women, which Pamela was, on the other hand though, she personally found JR's comments about her and 'the masses' to be in bad taste.

They liked nice things and had the means to live a very comfortable lifestyle, but it sounded terribly superior to make them seem like they were in a completely different class of people to the majority of society, even if it was technically true. Money didn't change the basic facts about them or their family, it only enhanced certain parts of them and diminished other parts. Emotionally, they still had struggles just like everyone else; money had had no power when they had been trying to conceive, nor had money helped them in their marital struggles with infidelity, though money did buy Doctor Williams' services. She had been through a period where she had revelled in her new social status as Mrs JR Ewing, and she was still proud of her title, but no longer did she see herself or her marriage as indestructible or superior to other great loves. She was trying to be a good person, a whole person, not just a vapid former beauty queen, so for JR to make it sound like they were in a class of their own and she was merely visiting like a tourist when she ventured into the world of 'regular' people did somewhat offend her. The friendship she was trying to pursue with Pamela wasn't just her adding another charitable effort to her plate in order to keep busy and feel like she was worthy of living such a life of privilege, she truly wanted and needed a friend; having JR acting like Pamela was simply a charitable project was unhelpful, insensitive, and offensive.

"JR, it's not like that and I'd appreciate if you didn't say such things", staring at him, hoping to make it clear to him she was serious, she could tell from the way he was staring back at her that it was more likely her expression was coming across as her trying to look serious rather than actually looking serious. "I don't want to call myself fragile, because I do think I'm much stronger now than I was before John Ross was born and before I started seeing Doctor Williams', but even now, I still have needs that I try hard to fulfil in order to avoid crumbling again. It's nowhere near as hard or dire as it was, but I still need more than the DOA, occasional other charity work and riding Chestnut to occupy my time. John Ross is a wonderful addition to my life, our lives, he occupies my life nicely, but he's a baby; I like having time to think, but I also like having someone to talk to who responds back in sentences… Your mama is wonderful, Lucy too, but it's not fair to depend on them to play multiple roles in my life. I tried to make it work with the playgroup moms too, and I have, that's a joy in my life, John Ross' life too, but it's once a week, the rest of the time everyone else there seems to be busy with a part of life that I don't have to occupy my time. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to have Francisca to keep house, so I'm not suggesting we let her go and I become a fulltime homemaker, I'm just saying I'd like to continue to keep my options open for things to do during the day. I'm under no illusion that Pamela has any more free time than Kathy, Marcia, Susan, or Carol in the playgroup, but I don't see a problem with having one more person to call upon when I do have free time and am looking for a way to spend it. I like Pamela and I don't know what's going to happen with her, but we're going to try to get to know each other and see where things go from there".

"As for why I'd want to be friends with a Barnes, I'll tell you what I told her, because contrary to what you think, you're not that different and whatever this Barnes/Ewing thing is was an issue for her too, even when it needn't be. Whatever happened between Jock and Digger happened decades ago. If anyone should be debating who was right and who was wrong in that situation, it's them, the men who were involved, not me, not you, not Bobby or Pamela. There are consequences to every action and we're all living with them, but the fight isn't ours to fight, and from my perspective, there isn't a much of a fight to fight anyway. You and I have known each other for over five years and in that time I've only heard the Barnes family mentioned a handful of times, and even then, those mentions were in regard to old issues, not fresh conflict. I don't think you actually dislike the Barnes family, you don't even know them; I'm not asking you to get to know them either, I'm just saying, Pamela is someone I might see and talk about every so often, Bobby too, and it would be much appreciated if you refrained from making uninformed negative comments. If you meet her and don't like her, fine, I can't stop you from thinking that and I can't blame you for making a decision based on your own experience, but please, forget whatever lines Jock fed you over the years, they're not helping anyone".

Pleading to her husband, probably more than was probably appropriate considering she really didn't actually know Pamela all that well, Sue Ellen watched JR and waited hopefully for him to give her some kind of positive response. She was being honest, she did want more companionship than she currently had and she didn't see anything wrong with at least trying with Pamela; if it didn't work out, then she wanted it to be because they just weren't suited to being friends, not because they let some stupid fight between the elder generations of their families separate them. For far too long Jock Ewing had influenced things in their lives, things were beginning to change though, JR was beginning to see that perhaps his father could be wrong and didn't always have to be listened to; from his impassive expression now though, she couldn't tell whether he felt that way about this particular situation.

"Darlin', calm down, you're blowing this out of proportion; I didn't say you couldn't be friends with her, I just said I didn't understand why you'd want to be friends with her. If we're talking about the same girl, I actually met her last night and I'll tell you now, she was not that wonderful, but if you want to make a go of it, go ahead. I think you're trying to distract yourself from some bigger issue though; I think you're lonely, but you're going about fixing that problem in the wrong way. You describe your life as if you're trying hard to find things to do with your time, which I understand, because you describe the things you do and I can't say they sound all that thrilling; I don't understand why you need to seek companionship with people whose lives are so different to your own though. I believe you didn't marry me for my money, you could have easily married Billy Frampton years before I ever proposed if you'd just been interested in money; the fact is though, you did marry me and I do have money, we have money, and you have time. Why you then wish to fill your life with women who spend hours every day keeping house and generally living a completely different reality to your reality is beyond me. You're always saying you feel self-conscious about our privilege and I'm always telling you not to, to instead be proud and take full advantage of the life that affords you, but you struggle with that for some reason. There's a very easy solution to the problem if you just want companionship; find a friend, someone who's similar to you, socially and personality-wise, not someone you have to work to convince to even hear you out. Stop looking for friends where you've failed to find them before and start looking in new places, places that are more, you, more us, that's my opinion if you wanted it. If you didn't, go ahead and pursue a friendship with Pamela if you wish, I don't think it's going to work though, it never does..."

Listening to JR as he responded to her reply in a way that deviated from her original point but still somehow related back to her inner feelings, Sue Ellen didn't know how to respond, so she didn't, not immediately. She loved JR, but there were times where she didn't like him, like now; somehow, a discussion about what she had done in his absence the previous evening had turned into something much more personal, she hadn't been prepared for that, not completely. Sure, she'd been ready to defend Pamela and tell JR exactly what she thought of the Barnes/Ewing 'feud'; hearing JR's opinions on her life in more depth than just related to Pamela though, that she hadn't expected and it was throwing her.

To be continued…