Dallas, Texas

Looking absentmindedly out the windscreen at White Rock Lake where they were parked, because Pamela had made a passing comment about not wanting the night to end just yet, Bobby thought back into his past as he recounted a story. "…so, he heard a clap of thunder, got spooked, bolted, and I had to walk back to the stables by myself, in the rain. It took me all afternoon on foot and by the time I got back he was back in his stall being tended to by some of the ranch hands. What did I get? Well, my mama fussed about how I could've been hurt if I'd still been riding, and my daddy was much the same, minus the fussing, he said in his no-nonsense voice, 'well son, I'm sure you understand now why we check the weather forecast before setting out. Rounding up the cattle's a job, exploring the ranch on horseback is not'. That was it, he didn't shout or exaggerate, he just stated things as they were; we do what we do when its necessary but when it's simply for fun, the boundaries aren't the same. That's the kind of man my daddy is, he has guidelines, perhaps even rules, but he's not teaching a class on how to live within those. Sometimes he doesn't even make it clear what he would do, he lets you do what you're doing and then pulls you back or corrects you if you're way out of line, other times he stands back and leaves you to learn the lesson completely on your own".

"With Rusty, the horse, I was young and naïve, and admittedly, a bit overconfident; telling me what not to do when the consequences weren't clear just wasn't going work, so I had to learn on my own, and I did. There are some things you have to learn for yourself by making mistakes yourself, no amount of reading or number of verbal warnings can make the lesson as clear as personally dealing with the uncomfortable outcome of that mistake. In my experience, the only way you can really be sure about something is to try it. I know I'm no good at reading geological reports, but I am good at relating to people on a personal level, I only know those things from doing though; with ranching I am still learning, I'm not a little boy anymore, but I'm still probably more confident than I should be. There's no harm in getting out there and trying though, daddy needs a son to do it and I want to be that son; if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world, I have options elsewhere, maybe not in oil, but somewhere. I guess what I'm trying to say is there's no harm in trying something and failing, because even if you do, you still learn a lesson on what not to do. I know now to always check the weather before taking any of the horses out, I also know what to do if I have to take them out in a storm for reasons related to the greater good of the ranch. None of us are born with knowledge of everything we need to know in our work or personal lives, we learn those things, we learn them from successes, from mistakes, and from just making a move into the unknown, even if that scares us".

"Does that answer your question?" Considering that she had been fairly broad in the wording of her question, asking simply whether he felt as if the choice he'd made to move from oil to ranching was going to be right for him forever, he hoped he hadn't just rambled on about something completely unrelated and had actually given her some insight into his family life. His father was a good man who allowed him freedom to choose his own path, within reason, and make mistakes without fear of losing everything. He had opportunities available to him that other people may not have, but he shouldn't have to apologise for that, it's not like when he was given opportunities he was also given a complete skillset, he had to learn like everyone else. JR had been trained from birth to run Ewing Oil and there was no doubt he was capable of that, but JR was also unlucky in his upbringing that running Ewing Oil was just about all he was ever going to be able to do, even if he decided he really didn't enjoy the oil business. In seeing how hard his father worked JR, he had never envied him, until it came to working together and seeing how far ahead of him JR actually was; now though, he was extremely comfortable doing what he was doing, he'd tried oil and decided it wasn't the business for him, now he was going to try ranching.

If ranching didn't work out, there was probably something else he could try, he knew from economic discussions that his father and brother had their fingers in a number of different industries, even if it was only in a capital investment sense. He was a Ewing too, an educated one at that, he could try anything to see if he liked it and was good at it, so it wasn't necessary to decide now whether moving from oil to ranching was a forever change. He was risking her judging him as an overindulged rich man again, because as she had told him on their first date, she hadn't grown up with such an array of choices, however, he couldn't change how his life was and he wasn't going to lie when she asked him a question about his future. The truth was, he had the freedom to make choices based on his feelings and skills and it was only after he made those choices and lived them that he actually knew one way or the other how he felt about them.

Their date had been fun and relaxed so far and he felt comfortable enough with her to be honest, even though he'd had a bad experience with his honesty with her before, if she still couldn't accept that their lives were different but he wanted to try with her, then he didn't know what more he could do. In that case, it was probably best that they ended things now, so there was no real harm in answering her question honestly, the worst that could happen would be they fought again and went their separate ways.

"It does, essentially, you're saying you don't know, but you're going to try anyway, because even if you make a mistake, nothing terrible ever happens. I like that thought…" answering him, Pamela turned her body toward him slightly, making eye contact with him as she spoke, before going silent, clearly contemplating whether she said aloud whatever it was she was thinking. "I know you were talking about your job, but it reminded me of a similar conversation with Sue Ellen, about trying to be friends. I'm usually a positive person, but with both of you I've put up walls and acted negatively, because I was afraid of failing and worsening everything, but I can see now that that's no way to go through life. If we fail, we fail, but at least we tried, and I really want to try. We'll have to take things slowly, figure out what we have in common rather than what makes us so different, but I'm ready to try; I've had a wonderful time with you tonight and I want to keep having fun with you, if you still want me that is".

Taking a few seconds to study her facial expression to make sure he wasn't misinterpreting what she was saying, it wasn't long before he was sure he was grinning from ear to ear. He really did feel like a teenager, excited that a girl had confessed that she too thought he was attractive and nice to be around and she wanted to spend more time with him. "Of course I still want you", not even thinking about trying to phrase his response in a gentler, more romantic manner, he simply answered her question, his happiness evident in his tone; she didn't seem to mind though, from the way she was smiling back at him, she was clearly smitten with him like he was with her.

Holding eye contact with her, he was aware that they seemed to be getting closer, though he wasn't sure he was actually in control of anything he was doing, that is, until their lips met, then he was completely aware of everything. Being in a car had its limitations, but what did that matter, he was kissing Pamela Barnes and she was kissing him back, it felt good, it felt right, and at present that was all that really mattered, everything beyond their immediate physical actions and gratification was irrelevant.

To be continued…