Fitz POV
This is the first time I've ever been annoyed with Olivia. Frustration had occurred before but it wasn't necessarily directed towards her, just our situation or her stubbornness. But right now, I was really annoyed with her. This was extremely hard because she was sitting across from me in my home office, typing away furiously on my iPad, and all I wanted to do was hold her.
She groaned becoming frustrated that her internet search wasn't going as planned. I told her it was useless but she didn't want to listen.
"Liv could you just forget about it? You don't need to be focusing on that right now."
Her eyes snapped to mine and I felt as though she was seconds from exploding.
"When is your mother bringing CJ home?"
"She's not. They're staying at the hotel until the end of the week. I don't want to confuse her and I honestly don't feel safe bringing her home just yet."
"Then that gives you enough time to find one and have it waiting for her. I found it! This place is kinda perfect and has all kinds."
She reached for the notepad that was near her on the desk and began making a list that I couldn't make out from where I was sitting.
"Livvie I know you mean well but I'm not doing it." I interrupted her knowing my words might just be the tipping point.
"I think it'll help, Fitz."
"And I don't."
"The local place is still open. We could go now or first thing in the morning." She began typing away, muttering about seeing how far it was from the house.
"Livvie, stop. Please. I'm not going out and getting CJ a kitten because..."
I stopped not wanting to even entertain the thought that it could actually be happening.
"Say it!"
"Livvie."
"No, say it! Because I'm going to jail!"
Her voice was loud, but shook at the end.
Angry, yet scared.
Stubborn, yet vulnerable.
"You're not going to jail. I already told you I'm appea.."
"It's happening Fitz. No appeal is going to change the decision. They're making an example out of me and we both know it."
I pinched the bridge of my nose, not wanting to get into this right now, but seeing that I might not have a choice.
"Judge Bridges isn't heartless, I know him Liv, he's..."
"He's doing what he's told Fitz. The judge back home made sure he'd take the case but it came with stipulations and I know it."
"Livvie..."
I moved closer to her at the first lip tremble and let her fall into my arms.
"I'm ... I'm going to jail, Fitz."
Olivia POV
"On the charge of Accessory, we find the defendant Not Guilty."
I felt all the relief in the world, nearly crying hearing those words. Not guilty.
Then everything changed.
"On the charge of Out-Of State Bail Jumping, we find the defendant Guilty."
The intensity at which Fitz and I were squeezing each other's hands was terrifying. I could feel my heart rate increasing and suddenly heard the blood rushing through my veins as people still spoke around me. About me. I stayed that way until I felt Fitz drop my hand and touch my shoulder gently. He leaned forward to whisper in my ear before pulling back and looking into my eyes, silently pleading for me to push through for just a few more minutes.
"Ms. Pope I said do you understand? Your sentencing date is set for two weeks from now on February eighth at nine-thirty a.m."
I could only nod and I jumped at the cliched gravel bang before everyone began to clear the room. I glanced at Fitz and noticed him using one hand to put all the paperwork into his briefcase while his dominate left hand worked to place a call on his phone.
I took a single step back and glanced around, desperately needing to be out of that room. I felt like I was suffocating and began panting. I reached almost blindly for Fitz's hand and in a heartbeat he was gripping mine and leading me through the hallways and down the escalators. The second we made it outside, I was throwing up and crying simultaneously.
This couldn't be real.
FITZ POV
This was horrible. I felt completely out of control and the worst part was that I had let Olivia down. She had been depending on me to make this all go away and I'd failed her. It had taken a while to calm her down but I was grateful she was no longer trying to force me into adopting a kitten today.
She had finally passed out next to me on the couch and I granted myself a few moments of strategizing, contemplating what her maximum and minimum sentencing would be according to both states law. The sentencing should be according to North Carolina laws but who knew what game they were playing. The differences were technically non-existent so no one would think twice about the time of her incarceration.
God. That word literally sent chills down my spine.
It's barely been six whole months and somehow my life had been completely changed by this woman. The charges against her were only for misdemeanor crimes and those typically were maximum of a year in jail. The three days she had been gone just weeks ago were already torturous enough. She couldn't possibly be away from us for a year.
My phone began to ring next to me and I answered it immediately, expecting my mother's phone call.
"Son, how are you? What was the verdict?"
I leaned forward, resting my elbow against my knees and rubbed my temples. I was glad she was the only person I had to answer to. I refused to constantly repeat those words during each phone call.
"She was found guilty for jumping bail."
"Oh dear. Fitzgerald, I'm so sorry hun. How's Olivia? Where is she? Did they take her today? Why didn't you say anything? Where are you at son? Should I come to you?"
"Ma, calm down. I'm ok and so is Liv... well as okay as she can be considering. Sentencing is in the morning on the eighth so we won't know how long she'd have to go to jail until then but none of that matters because I'm filing for an appeal."
"Will that work?"
"It has to Ma. There's no other way I can see this turning out. I can't lose her."
"Tell me what I can do to help? Do you guys want the day to yourselves? CJ will be fine to see you guys tomorrow."
"I'll see what Liv wants to do. She's asleep now but once she's up I'll ask her. This whole thing has been killing her and making her physically sick. If she's not up to it, I'll still come and tuck CJ in. Huck will be here with Liv and I promised CJ that I would."
"I understand son. Just let me know okay? You know I'm praying this appeal goes through. I'd like to see Olivia as soon as she's up to it. Send her my love, Okay?"
"Yea. Thanks Ma."
I hung up and leaned against the back of the couch. My head was beginning to pound and I figured I needed to put something on my stomach. We both did. Getting Olivia to eat would be a task but I was up for it.
The door alarm sounded and I looked up to see the garage door opening and Huck silently walking into the kitchen. He'd been out on a call for almost an hour, right around the time Olivia had fallen asleep.
"She's sleeping"
He actually spoke.
It was only a statement though. I nodded and he went to sit at the kitchen table where two laptops were set up along with a row of burner phones and a plate holding a sandwich. It had been sitting there for a while and I wasn't exactly sure if he planned to eat it or not. Huck was quiet but seemed to be the most loyal person alive. I wasn't sure what type of relationship we'd have with one another in the future if any, but I knew he'd be a part of this family for a long time. He would be someone I could trust forever simply because of the way he protected Olivia.
I got up from the couch but not before tucking her blanket around her so she wouldn't get cold. I cautiously sat in the chair across from him, not exactly sure what to say. I'd seen Olivia break down in front of him, clearly comfortable being vulnerable with him but I wasn't sure if he'd actually converse with me.
"What are you doing about Jake and Russell?"
The look he gave me let me know that he wasn't exactly pleased with me questioning him but also that he understood that I wanted to know.
"Do you think they're gonna try anything while she's here?"
"I'm not them so I don't know what they're thinking. I doubt it. I have someone tracking Jake but Russell's still out there somewhere."
"Is Jake anywhere near us?"
"He's still in Georgia but he's acting strange. I think he'll try to reach out to Olivia but I can't be sure."
"Reach out to her? Why would he reach out to her?"
"He thinks he's in love with her. Always has."
What the actual fuck? That made my blood boil. I almost wanted that asshole to make his way up here just so I could deal with him myself.
"Will you be able to find out if Russell moves in?"
"Yes. I have facial recognition software running nonstop on the airports security and the city and surrounding counties traffic systems. If he comes into the state alone, I'll know."
I nodded, trusting his words because I had no reason not to.
"I promised my daughter I'd be there for bedtime but I don't think Liv should come. I'll only be gone an hour tops."
"That's fine, you can leave."
Damn.
"Not now just later. I just wanted to run it by you. I'm gonna heat up some food and try to get her to eat something. She's been so worried it's making her sick and she threw up outside of the courthouse. I want to get some nutrients in her."
He nodded once before turning back to his laptops. Sometimes I hated that I hadn't associated myself with any friends and that I had no one to really talk to. Even before Olivia came in to my life I only had my mom and CJ. I glanced over at Huck before looking into the living room where Olivia was asleep.
"I know some people think it's crazy that I'm actually in love with someone I've barely known for five months. I even think I'm crazy sometimes, you know? For so long it's been me and my kid and I wasn't interested in the women around here that threw themselves at me so I figured it'd just be us for a long time. Never did I expect someone to walk into my life and turn it completely upside down. Especially not someone like Olivia."
"You mean someone black?"
I turned back to look at him, surprised he was even listening. I surely didn't expect him to reply.
"Of course not."
I looked back at her and sighed, trying to express what I was actually feeling.
"Someone worth it. Someone worth going to the ends of the earth for. To protect them from anything that threatened to harm them in any way, shape or form. Hell just to see them smile. I'd do almost anything for her if it meant she was happy."
Once again I glanced over at Huck and he was staring at me, hand frozen over his keyboard.
"What if you can't save her from this?"
"I will. Whether it's today or next week or six months from now, this is her home now. It's where she belongs and I won't stop fighting to bring her back."
"Is that what she wants? To be here with you?"
"Yes. It's what she wants, it's what my daughter wants and I want it too. What about you? Do you want this for her? Us for her?"
"What I want doesn't matter."
"I think it does. You've been the one person she can trust since this thing began. What you think means more than you know."
"Then yes. This, you two are what makes her happy so I want that for her. And I won't stop protecting her either. Not tomorrow, six months from now or even six years from now. Even if you don't see me, I'll be here."
I nodded looking in his direction, grateful for being able to communicate with him.
"I just pray I don't lose her. I'm not sure I could survive that."
I could tell he was going to respond but he stopped as something caught his eye. I turned to see Olivia shifting on the couch for a few seconds before she sat up against the back of the couch. I rushed back into the living room and knelt down in front of her, running my hands down her bare arms and catching her eyes.
"Hi Livvie."
"Hi... what time is it?"
"A little after four. How are you feeling?"
"Not the best. I just wanna... "
She trailed off and looked to be wincing as her head fell back against the couch.
"What do you want Livvie? Tell me baby."
"Bath... Can I just take a bath and go to bed? I feel so out of it and my head is killing me."
"Of course you can but can we add food to that list? I need you to eat something Livvie. It'll help with your headache and you don't need to take anything on an empty stomach."
She shook her head slowly and defiantly, but I wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Just something light. Maybe some broth and crackers? Or some chicken and stars soup? That's CJ's go to when she's not feeling well."
I could see her faintly smile when I mentioned CJ and I reached forward to pull her off the couch and embraced her for a moment.
Liv POV
"Did Huck come?"
"Yea, he's in there."
He kept one arm wrapped around my waist and led me into the dining area where Huck was set up. His brow furrowed when he noticed me and I knew he was worried. I must've looked how I felt- like hell.
"You should eat some food and rest some more, Liv."
My mouth twitched a bit at the nickname. He'd only just started using it but it made me smile. I nodded and sat down across from him before asking Fitz if he could warm me up some soup to eat before I took a bath.
"Have you found him yet? Are the police even looking for him?"
"No and yes. He has to be out of the country and I have three guys checking into the only places he could be. I'll flush him out eventually but he's gone underground for now. There's no telling when he'll resurface so until I say so, he's a non-factor."
"And Jake?"
"I have eyes on him. Don't worry he's still in Georgia laying low."
"How can you find him while he's laying low but not Russell?"
"Because Jake isn't as smart as Russell and he's a coward that can't even disappear right."
I stayed quiet for a couple of minutes wanting to ask him something else but wanted to wait until we were alone. When Fitz placed the bowl of soup in front of me, I chuckled at the tiny goldfish bobbing up and down in the bowl.
"Eat the majority of this and you'll be good to go."
He smiled and kissed my forehead.
I took a few sips, making sure he was able to see for himself that I was indeed putting something in my stomach.
"Fitz, do you mind running me a bath and setting my things out for when I'm done. I just barely have the energy..."
"No, of course I can. I'll be back in a few minutes, just keep eating."
He kissed my head again before climbing the steps and leaving Huck and I alone. As much as I didn't have the energy to do too much, I honestly just wanted a few minutes alone with Huck. Fitz wouldn't know the answer to the question I wanted to ask, and even if he did, he would tell me to think positive and not worry about it but that's not what I needed. I needed truth.
"Can you tell me what jail is like?"
"Please don't hurt them." Olivia screamed at the top of her lungs, rushing towards them before she was grabbed from behind.
She turned as much as she could and noticed Jake behind her, laughing manically and smelling of alcohol.
"Liv, you should've just listened to us and stayed put. Now look what you've done. You've got everyone here terrified and now they have to pay the price."
Russell stood between the two chairs before he leaned over and took the tape off of CJ's mouth.
"Livia, why did you do this to us? You should've just stayed away."
"I never wanted you to get hurt sweetie, I swear. Please Russell, just let them go. They're innocent and have nothing to do with this."
"Oh but you brought them into this Olivia. Now they can die."
"Please!"
"Yes! Then you can choose whether you want to die right here or in prison."
"No!"
Fitz POV
I didn't want to wake up but I couldn't stop myself. My body could feel Olivia moving next to me but it took a second longer to digest that she was crying in her sleep. I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her, stroking her arm before gently attempting to awake her.
"Livvie… wake up baby please."
She didn't necessarily fight me in her sleep, but she fought against waking up, unable to escape the world she was in. It was seconds later that she opened her eyes. She appeared to be disoriented but once her eyes connected with mine, she was in my arms.
"Fitz"
Her voice was strangled as she buried her face into my neck, her arms almost too tight and cutting off my air supply.
"Shhh, I've got you baby. I'm here. I promise."
It took nearly fifteen minutes to get her to stop crying and tell me what had happened. To tell me about the dream that haunted her for months now. She had finally stopped crying and let me hold her against my chest.
"It's just a dream, Livvie."
"It felt so real. Every time."
"I know but it's not. Remember that, hold on to that."
"What if it happens? What if they come for you? For CJ? I'll never forgive myself."
"They won't. We are going to stay safe, I promise you. I'm here, Huck is here. There can be officers stationed at every corner in town if we need them."
She sniffed several times before tightening her hold on me and kissing my chest.
"I just want you both safe."
"And I want you safe. I want us all safe."
Liv POV
I knew it. I really did and didn't allow Fitz's positivity to get my hopes up. The appeal he'd submitted last week had officially been denied this morning by the judge and reality hit that in three days, I would be sentenced and taken to jail.
Fitz and I did our best to keep things as normal as possible around the house. CJ had come home two days after the verdict was announced and we were all happy to be together under one roof again. We both got up to get her ready for school in the morning, and to her surprise, I rode with them twice to drop her off. We didn't want her to get used to it and let her know it was just for special days. CJ made it clear that I would be that person to help her with homework each day. She had no problem dismissing her father and bringing things directly to me to look over. Dinners were nearly perfect. I basked in baking with her, showing her how to kneed the dough perfectly and smiling at seeing how much she paid attention to every little detail I taught her.
It was all amazing. The only thing I hated is that it was coming to an end today. We allowed the façade to go on for as long as we could but with knowing the outcome, we decided today would be the day we told CJ the truth. A day I was dreading.
I turned over onto my back and sighed. This was the second night in a row that I barely slept, awakening just before four a.m. terrified at what my thoughts would conjure up this time. I glanced at Fitz to make sure I hadn't disturbed him before counting the number of times the ceiling fan turned. He was snoring but I had gotten used to it by now to where it was almost white noise. I'd lie if I said I wasn't sure why I was awake. My mind was jumbled with scenarios of how CJ would tell me she hated me when she found out I was going away.
Would she break down and cry or shut down and ignore me? She had a tendency to let things brew and bubble to the surface before she faced them, reminding me so much of myself.
Would she yell at me and be angry or beg me not to go, saying her dad could fix it and change their minds. I'd cry myself if she did that. She thought Fitz hung the moon and I'd hate for her to realize that he wasn't as powerful as she thought he was. He was SuperMan to her and I hoped this wouldn't change that perception.
I felt shifting under the covers and lifted the blanket to reveal CJ's small body turning towards me. I reached down to rub my fingers gently through her hair, hoping she'd stay asleep. She'd only crawled in between us about an hour ago and it had taken a while for her to get comfortable. I can imagine that it was still new having someone else in the bed with her father but she seemed to enjoy it. She tended to end up on my side of the bed, completely cuddled into my chest by the time we were all waking up in the morning.
"Livia."
Even though I was looking at her, the small sleep-filled voice surprised me. I waited for her head to move, her eyes to open but it never happened.
"Yea CJ?"
"Hi… Livia.."
I took a hold of her arm and lifted it just a half an inch from her body and let it fall, concluding that she was in fact still asleep. I'd never known her to talk in her sleep but I also hadn't slept beside her on more than a few occasions. I continued to stroke her hair, waiting to see if she'd speak again but it never happened and it wasn't long before I drifted back to sleep myself.
Fitz POV
"Fitz?"
"Yes?" I answered her with wide eyes and a breathy voice, mimicking her and doing my best to make her relax and smile. I had no clue what she was about to say to me but I could tell she was on edge for some reason. We were spending the lazy Saturday together as planned, soaking up every moment we had before talking to CJ after we cleaned up breakfast.
She didn't seem to like the smile on my face and shifted her eyes, making me realize she really did want my attention.
"What's going on, Livvie?"
I ran my hands up her arms, doing my best to comfort her as she searched for her words.
"I um.. you can say no if you want… it's your decision but I…"
"Hey, it's me. Talk to me."
"I want to tell CJ alone. And I want to tell her now."
I wasn't expecting that. To be honest I was half expecting Olivia to chicken out and make me reveal her secret to my daughter.
"Liv… I don't.."
"I know, it's big. I want you there of course but maybe listening in just in case things go south? And I just feel like I'm lying to her by not saying anything. We're sitting in there and she's asking me all these questions about going places next weekand wanting me to convince you to go on another trip next week and it's breaking my heart that she doesn't know. That her world is about to fall apart because of this."
"I know, I know. I hate lying to her too… ok. We can tell her now."
Olivia stopped me before I could head into the living room, reminding me of her first plea.
"But I really want to be the one to tell her. I feel like I have to be the one Fitz. She needs to hear it from me."
She looked so serious. Her mind was completely made up and I could tell this was something she really felt compelled to do.
I nodded, squeezing her hand in mine before kissing her and letting her go.
Liv POV
CJ noticed me the second that I entered the room and sat on the couch. It seemed that she had forgotten all about the coloring page she was working on and moved to the shelf and pulled out the Frozen Sorrygame she had gotten for Christmas. It was a favorite of hers lately and I should've known we would play the game at some point like we did every day.
"Can you play with me, Livia?"
She began mixing the stack of cards, her own form of shuffling I'd shown her before she divided the pile in half and placed them on the board.
"I'm gonna be Elsa!"
She hadn't taken a second to look at me until she noticed how unresponsive I was being, and finally looked over to where I was sitting. CJ's mood immediately changed as she read mine. She stopped fiddling with the cards, and looked into the living room and I knew she was looking for her father. She knew something was wrong with me but she could easily read her father and preferred to have immediate answers.
"What's wrong Livia? Where's my Dad?"
I reached for her, bringing her into my arms, and promised that her dad was just in the kitchen and he was still here. I hadn't thought of her having that type of reaction, the assumption that her father had left.
"Are we gonna play the game still?"
Her voice was already unsure and I knew she could sense something bad coming.
"We will, but I wanted to talk to you about something."
"About what?"
"Remember how I told you if I had to leave again that I would say goodbye first?"
She looked at me with wide eyes that began to water and her lips unconsciously turned down and trembled. She nodded and sniffed, almost waiting for me to say the words.
"Well…. You know all those meetings with the judge your dad and I told you I've been going to during the day? Well I had my last meeting with him a few days ago and he told me that I have to go away for a while."
"Go where?"
"It's someplace not too far, but it's not a place that you can come visit me at and I won't be able to visit you.."
"That's not fair! Daddy can drive us to see you."
She was getting angry now trying to make her point clear, not understanding the severity of the situation.
"That would be really nice, and I wish it could work that way, but it can't."
"Will it just be for a few days like when you went to your old house?"
Boy did I wish that was all it was. I could handle that again if it meant I'd be back with them within days but it was so far from the truth.
"No sweetie, it would be for some months."
I hated seeing her tears start to fall and chastised myself when my own begin to spill down my cheeks. She moved to straddle my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck telling me that she didn't want me to go. We were both crying and I looked back willing Fitz to come around the corner where I knew he was listening.
I felt him sit down next to me and opened my eyes as he wrapped his arms around the both of us. I hated this. It was something out of a movie but it was happening to me. To my new family.
"Hey Bug, calm down okay? Let's talk about this."
She quieted instantly and turned to Fitz who was reaching forward to wipe her tears away.
"Daddy is she telling the truth? Does she have to go away for a long time?"
"Yea Bug, she does. But when she does you can write her every single day and she'll write you too. You can talk on the phone sometimes whenever she's able to call, okay?"
"But I can't visit her?"
I glanced at Fitz, and sent him a sad smile. We'd both agreed that even though he would come and visit me whenever allowed, CJ wouldn't come to visit. Only inmate's children were allowed to visit but they didn't even entertain the idea of bringing CJ into such a situation, into such a negative experience. That would leave her with questions that they honestly didn't want to think about until she was much older.
"No baby you can't."
"I'm so sorry CJ. I wish I didn't have to go sweet girl."
She released the hold she had on my neck and moved back so that she was sitting on my thighs, her little knees digging into me. Her little hand reached into her sweater before pulling out the chain and gripping the small bumblebee on the end.
"Me too."
Fitz POV
"Are you gonna be there when I get out of school?"
"Yes I promise sweetie. Can I have a hug goodbye?"
I watched as she leaned over to hug Olivia tightly from her spot on the center console. Olivia gave her cheek a quick peck and CJ turned towards me and hugged me before I kissed her goodbye. The back door opened and she allowed the parent volunteer to help her out of the truck. I followed the line of cars through the parking lot and out to the main street, only increasing my speed when we were out of the school zone.
I reached over and grabbed a hold of Olivia's hand and brought it to my lips to kiss it. I could see the tears in her eyes and knew this would be the first of many for the both of us today.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Coming with me these last few days to drop her off. She's loved every minute of it."
I shot a quick glance at her in time to see her shrug her shoulders like it was no big deal.
"I wanted to. It's been fun for me as well. Gives me lots of memories to hold onto."
"And to look forward to."
"Yea."
She went quiet and I didn't push her after that. I hadn't said anything to her but there was this small part of me that was terrified that once she was released from jail we wouldn't see her again. I could just imagine some excuse she'd make for why she wasn't good enough for us and didn't want to ruin us and it terrified me. The same thoughts ran through my mind last night as I watched her with CJ in the tub. My little girl was happy. Annoyingly loud and giddy, eating up all the attention Olivia was giving her and I froze at the thought of her running from us. I trusted her now but I knew the effects jail could have on a person. On their psyche.
"Are you sure there's nothing you want to do while we have the time today? For the next seven hours, it's your world, Livvie. We can do whatever you want until it's time to pick her up."
She smiled softly at me before bringing out intertwined fingers to her lips and kissing my knuckles.
"Copycat."
That earned a laugh. One that i'd missed.
"We can run the errands we already have planned, and there's a few things I really want to pick up from the store. I really want to bake tonight with CJ one last..." She stopped herself, not wanting to go there so early in the day. She still had a full day with them. "I want to bake with her tonight so I want to get what I need but other than that I just want to have time with you today."
I could only smile and nod at her words. That's exactly what I wanted as well. Time with her.
It was roughly two hours later that we pulled into the garage and began unloading the things we had gotten on our multi-store adventure.
"Alright, anything need to be refrigerated?"
Olivia took a deep breath after dropping the bags onto the island and shook her head.
"Nope, it can all stay out and get to room temperature."
"Good."
Liv POV
I laughed the second his hand gripped my wrist and he yanked me behind him as he headed towards the stairs. I pretended to drag my feet as he led us into his bathroom and stopped at seeing my favorite bath oils, salts and soaps lining his jacuzzi tub.
"Baby, where'd all this come from?"
I'd purposely been using up everything I had so they wouldn't just sit there haunting him while I was gone.
"This is all of your stuff that you can't throw out because it's full. I even got the shampoo, conditioner and co-wash you like so we can use it tonight."
I smiled at him, loving that he knew my preferences and took the time to do this. I just really didn't see the point.
"Hey, this is your home. I don't care that you're leaving tomorrow. I mean of course I care but the most important thing is that you are coming back to us. The day that you're released, I'll be standing outside waiting to pick you up and bring you here. Bring you home, and all of your things, everything you love is going to be waiting for you."
I leaned forward and kissed him, willing my tears to not fall as he wrapped his arms around me. I broke the kiss for a second before moving back in, wanting to deepen it but he stopped me.
"There will be plenty of time for that Livvie, I promise. But first I want to use all this weird stuff you like and run us a bath."
"Shut it. It's not weird."
I shoved his arm and allowed him to start the water while I undressed. Times like this made me realize just how far we'd come in five months time. Here I was getting completely naked in front of him and preparing to take a bath with him, something I couldn't have ever imagined doing before.
"What time is Huck coming?"
"He should be here around one. I might have told him to not even think of coming around before then."
I moved to grab the both of us towels and laid them on the side of the tub and sat on them. He begin to pour different things under the hot water, perfecting the blend I'd make for myself.
"And why did you tell him that?"
I knew why, but I wanted to hear it from him. The second he turned around I could see the lust in his eyes. I knew he loved me, but the lust was prominent. Sitting there naked in front of him, legs and arms crossed, keeping him from seeing what he'd referred to last night as his. It seemed to drive him wild.
"Because I have some things I want to tell you. And show you. And do to you."
I shook my head at the way his voice dropped with each word and reached for the bottom of his shirt before pulling it over his head.
"Clock's ticking, Mr. Grant."
I turned around and dipped my foot into the water and found it perfect. I made sure he was taking his pants off before I got in, waiting for him to slide in behind me.
I told myself not to but couldn't help but watch him. His body held some of my most favorite shapes and I had to see them. His thighs might have been my most favorite thing in the world. They were strong and toned, and felt exquisite when I was between them.
He slid in behind me and I didn't waste any time leaning back into his chest. This was also a favorite feeling of mine. A feeling I'd miss dearly and crave. I sighed when his arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer to him. I turned a bit in his arms, not able to stop myself from burrowing into his chest. I didn't want to focus on it, but the realization of not having this feeling again for months hit me hard. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing my tears away and hating when my emotions betrayed me and they spilled over. I wanted to relax and be in the moment with Fitz and not focus on what was to come.
"Livvie?"
I shook my head, not wanting to worry him and doing my best to be strong. It was easy to hide my emotions from people but never from him.
"Livvie talk to me."
"I'm ok.."
"You're not. Come on, don't hide from me."
I removed myself from his chest and turned so I was facing him. I couldn't help bring my knees to my chest, needing something to hold onto, but also wanting to be able to let out everything I was feeling without him touching me. I'd break down and wouldn't be able to be open with him the way I wanted to be.
"This is one of my favorite things we do together. You holding me that way…so bare and close.. it means everything to me. The way I feel when we're like that… I've never felt that way before."
He leaned forward and lifted my chin. He was always patient but hated when I hid my eyes from him. He always wanted to see me.
"I'm terrified of being in jail. Of missing moments with CJ, and playing with her, and us cooking. All of it… but I'm mostly going to miss these moments with you Fitz."
He used both hands to cup my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing softly against my skin. Each tear that fell, he wiped away, keeping his eyes locked onto mine.
"I really love you. This is the happiest I've ever been and I don't want to lose it."
"Come here"
He lifted me onto him, my legs bent sideways on his thighs as I hugged his torso. I tilted my head back and stared at him, needing his reassurance now more than ever.
"I'm not letting you go. I will be at every single visitation I'm allowed to have with you. You'll be so tired of me writing you and fighting CJ to talk to you for just a second each time you call. You've completely changed my life and there's nothing that could make me stop fighting for you, Livvie. Fighting for us. When you're home, and I do mean home. This is your home baby and I mean that. You belong here. This will all go by fast and when it's all over I'm bringing you home. And you know what I'm gonna do after that?"
"What?"
"I'm going to take you on maybe a billion dates all around town and when the time is right, I'm going to ask you to marry me."
I leaned up at that. We'd never talked about our future together in that way.
"Marriage?"
"Marriage. I'm going to marry you and then.."
"Let me guess, you want to get me pregnant Fitz?"
He chuckled before kissing my lips softly. He always talked about how hard it was when CJ was a baby but I knew he missed those days. Hated that he didn't savor them and appreciate them before she grew up.
"I want to have babies with you as soon as you're ready. But, I was thinking that I want to get you back into a hospital."
"Really?"
"Yea. I know you miss working. Your patients and the families you were able to help…I know how much they mean to you Livvie. I want you to have that again. I want to give you your life back. All of it, and if we have a kid or two in there somewhere, I won't object."
I leaned in and kissed him deeply, loving the way this man always seemed to love me with his entire being. He dreamed my dreams, and supported my desires. I didn't deserve him.
"I… want it all.. with you." I spoke between our kisses, not being able to pull away from his lips for longer than a half a second.
He kissed me back just as feverishly and used his hands to turn me into his lap so that I was straddling his hips. I knew he'd been hard beneath me but he hadn't been close enough for me to really feel how ready he was. We'd never been together like this before but I could feel him at my entrance already, waiting for permission. I nodded before capturing his lips the moment he entered me and winced at the feeling. The water created a resistance I wasn't exactly used to, but I didn't want him to stop. We moved patiently against one another, letting our bodies take over until we needed more and wanted out of the tub.
He dropped me on top of the bed and was immediately on me, spreading my legs and pushing into me with vigor.
"Oh God! Right there!"
He listened so well, so much that most times it felt like he knew what I wanted more than I knew myself. I clenched my eyes shut, allowing Fitz's love to wash over me as he moved in and out of me
Fitz POV
She felt so good around me. It was almost painful the way she was squeezing me. The perfect torture. This moment was too intense for her and I could feel each time her walls came crashing down around me, but pulled back at the last second. She was open, exposed, and vulnerable. She was in her rarest form, and as the tears began to fall from her eyes, I could see that she'd never felt safer or more loved, more desired.
"You're so fucking perfect Livvie! So beautiful. Ugh!" I moved deeper into her, hooking one of her legs onto my arm just before I shifted our weight and sat up with her in my lap. When she tried to relax on top of me, she recoiled, not prepared for the vast penetration.
"Fitz…it's.. baby it's too much."
"It's what you want, right?"
"Uh Huh" She was panting, knowing she was about to finish but doing her best to hold on.
"Are you mine baby?"
"I'm…. ahh…"
She nodded but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to hear her.
"Are you mine Livvie? Tell me baby. Say it." I shot my hips up, surprising her with my length and girth. Her mouth fell open and her arms went limp around my neck as she bit into my shoulder.
"I'm yours.. I'm all yours ba.. baby."
I laid back against the pillows and held onto her waist before rocking her against me at a slow pace, making sure she was receiving the ultimate pleasure.
"Tell me you're coming back to me…. Tell me this is your home, Livvie."
She let out of guttural cry, spreading her legs wider to sink down on me, almost making me cum.
"You're my home Fitz!"
I reached up to squeeze her breast while pumping into her. My eyes rolled into the back of my head when she began rocking faster against me.
"Tell me again! Tell me you're mine, Livvie. I need you to say it baby! Tell me."
Suddenly she was chest to chest with me and her mouth was hot and wet against mine as she grinded into me repeatedly. I could feel the pattern she'd made and knew the stimulation to her clit would only take seconds to take her over the edge.
"I'm yours baby- Ah!- all .. all yours!"
She came hard, lifting off of me just as I began to spill into her, and squirted on my thighs tirelessly.
When her breathing finally returned to normal, Olivia moved up my body before tanglingher hands in my hair and pullingme down so our mouths could unite. Her tongue swept across my bottom lip, seeking access, which I was more than willing to allow. She grew lazy in just seconds and rested her head in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply.
Minutes later when her breathing was quieter, we were still. We held lazily onto one another until Olivia used my chest to prop herself up and kissed me fully on the lips.
"Thank you."
I smirked at her before raising an eyebrow.
"I don't ever need thanks for doing that."
"Not that"
I expected her to laugh along with me but her eyes were serious. I was at least glad that I didn't see tears pooling in them but I could tell she was being intentional with her words.
"Then what?"
"Thank you for it all. Crashing my car was the best thing that's ever happened to me."
She traced a lone finger against my cheek, pressing just a bit into my skin.
I grabbed her chin and brought her down so I could kiss her.
"Then you're welcome."
"Thank you for not giving up on me Fitz."
We were both presentable by the time Huck arrived and Fitz had to leave out to get CJ. I knew she'd be upset that I wasn't with him to get her but it wouldn't take too long before they were home and we could spend the rest of the night together. I had to report tomorrow at nine-thirty and was doing my best to savor every moment.
"What are you doing?"
I looked up and smiled at Huck before focusing back on the task at hand.
"Fitz told me that I usually won't be given certain privileges such as sending mail and making calls until maybe my second week or even the fourth week. So since last week I've been writing them each letters. One per day."
I shrugged and continued writing.
"CJ's are mostly pretty short but I wanted to have one for he to open for at least the next two weeks. I've got two left to do for her. Fitz's are pretty lengthy so I've only written him enough for roughly three times a week. Knowing him he'll read them all in one day and keep re reading them."
"That's nice."
"Yea… I know it's not the same but it's something."
I heard his footsteps retreat as he headed out to leave and I stopped him just before he got to the door.
"Huck… you'll be there tomorrow won't you?"
"Of course."
"And you'll watch out for them while I'm gone? Make sure they're safe?"
"I promise, Liv."
"Thank you for today. I know it's not really your thing but I appreciate it."
"She's your family Liv and that means I'll do anything for her now."
"Livia! Livia where are you?"
CJ's voice traveled through the house loudly and I came downstairs obediently and opened my arms for her. She rushed into them and I lifted her into a hug, smiling when she wrapped her skinny legs around my waist.
"How come you didn't come with Daddy to pick me up?"
I looked at Fitz who was setting her backpack down and taking off his coat. He gave me a small nod letting me know he was ready.
"Well your Daddy and I had a surprise for you so I had to stay here and get it ready."
Her eyes grew wide and she was looking between Fitz and I with a huge smile.
"What surprise? Can I have it?"
"Well you gotta find it Bug. Are you ready to search for it?"
She was out of my arms in a flash looking around the living room quickly before running into the kitchen loudly, groaning every time she saw nothing out of the ordinary.
"Are you guys tricking me?"
She was nearing frustration and I did my best to not laugh at her as Fitz rolled his eyes.
"Why don't you stop stomping around like a monster and look quietly. We might even give you some hints."
She rolled her eyes before walking towards the pantry and turning to look at us. Fitz just stared at her, purposely annoying her so I stepped in to avoid a fight between the two.
"Ceej, you're cold over there sweetie."
Her eyes lit up, understanding the rules of the game now, and she slowly moved around downstairs, eyeing me and waiting for my verdict.
"Cooolllddd"
"Still!"
"Yep" Fitz chimes in laughing. "You're actually freezing now. Brrrrr!"
CJ looked around trying to think of where she hadn't gone and ran towards where Fitz was standing on the steps.
"Oooo you're getting a bit warmer.. definitely not freezing anymore."
CJ looked up at Fitz who wiggled his eyebrows and took a few steps backwards up the stairs. We both laughed when she followed him and I encouraged her that she was getting warmer. I followed them up the stairs and Fitz told CJ that she was burning up, just before I heard the little girl scream. I reached her bedroom in time to see her crying into Fitz's shoulder. He winked at me seeing that I was worried about CJ and I was grateful for his reassurance.
Fitz POV
She was overwhelmed. The last thing she expected to see when she entered her room was a small crate and a tiny kitten paw reaching through the small openings.
"Bug relax okay?"
"Is it real, Daddy?"
"Yea it is."
"But you said no."
I laughed knowing she wanted an explanation.
"I did, but Olivia and I decided that so much is about to change right now in our lives and we know it's gonna be hard for all of us and for you so we wanted you to have something special. She has to leave tomorrow and we know how much it's gonna hurt but we were hoping that having a new little friend here would make it less sad for all of us. What do you think?"
"Will you make me give it away when it scratches the couch?"
"Nope. I promise I won't ever give your kitten away."
Seeing that she was calm I turned her around on my lap so that she was facing Olivia. My little girl became giddy when she saw that the small animal was now in Olivia's lap. Olivia stood up from the bed and got on her knees in front of us before passing the tiny kitten into CJ's lap.
"It's so pretty and tiny. What kind of kitten is it?"
"She's a Bengal."
CJ marveled at the beautiful fur as the kitten curled up in her lap and closed its eyes as she petted it.
"It's a girl?"
"Yep. So what are you gonna name her?"
"Freckles!"
We both chuckled at the name but Olivia was the one to question it.
"That's a really good name CJ. Any reason why you chose that name?"
"Cuz in the summer I have freckles so we can be twins."
It was as simple as that. She sat still, marveling at her new best friend before standing from my lap and moving to sit in Olivia's lap instead.
"Thank you Livia."
Olivia kissed the side of CJ's head before looking up at me and smiling.
She had made one of my little girl's dreams come true.
This morning has been painful to watch. My girls knew it was the last time they'd see each other for a long time and neither held back on the tears. CJ was late to school and I wish I could've gotten my mom to come and stay home with her for the day but she couldn't swing it. She'd make the drive to us tomorrow but couldn't make today work. We arrived in the courtroom later than planned but we thankfully hadn't missed our docket number. We'd been here for a while but Olivia had what I could only perceive as a panic attack and became almost violently ill. The breakfast I'd forced down her throat emptied from her stomach just as quickly as the tears escaped her eyes. It had taken a while to calm her down and Huck was helpful with grabbing a coke from the vending machine and convincing her to take a few sips.
She took a few moments in the bathroom to clean up and when she was out, I cornered her and kissed her. The fact that she'd only been able to rinse her mouth wasn't important at all. I spoke quietly to her between kisses, promising her that I loved her and would keep fighting to bring her homeno matter what the judge said. I reminded her that she had a family waiting for her and that I'd be the first one in line when it was visitation day. Then most importantly, that she mattered to me.
Judge Bridges went over normal policies, allowing Olivia to plead either guilty or not guilty, then made sure she understood what to expect once her sentence was read.
"Ms. Pope, you've spent three days in jail which counts as time served, but with that being said you will still serve an amount of time that matches the minimum sentencing. Beginning today, February eighth, you will serve ten months at the North Carolina Correctional Institution for Women."
The only thing that happened after that was Olivia squeezing my hand and whispering goodbye before the officer handcuffed her and took her away.
And the worst part was that I had to let her go.