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Chapter 19

"What are you doing?" Anna asked, her voice hazy from sleep. John glanced up from his newest masterpiece, holding two of the playing cards in his hands. Giving Anna a warm smile, John placed them carefully on top and then stood.

"Card house or house of cards," John explained. "I build them to manage my stress."

Anna's eyes fell to the perfectly positioned cards and she thought about how she felt like she was those cards. Just one small nudge and they would all come crashing down.

"Stress? Are you worried about your meeting with Matthew, Alex's lawyer, and Alex tomorrow?" Thinking about John being back in the same room with Alex Green tomorrow made her body shudder.

"Maybe a little," John honestly replied. But what he didn't add was that his real stress was from the meeting later in the week that revolved around Anna and the baby. He didn't like that Anna was going to have to be near that man again. Mary was hoping to settle a lot out of court and that required for them all to meet and discuss the next steps.

Carlisle had countered back wanting Anna to have an amniocentesis to name Green as the father before it was born so it could be given his name. Mary stated absolutely not to both accounts. Neither Mary nor Carlisle would budge.

Mary asked Anna to have Sybil to write up a doctor's note saying her pregnancy was too high risk for the procedure to bring to the meeting. There was absolutely no way Mary was going to allow Green to have any say over the baby before it was born. Holding off the paternity test was the only way to do that. And if she had her way, she was going to figure out how to block him from the baby completely.

John was told by Mary not to come. He protested, not wanting Anna to have to be there without him, especially not after everything she had been through recently. However, Mary told him he would just be fueling the fire by being there. Green and Carlisle would use his presence against Anna. If he wanted what was best for Anna, he would not show up at the meeting. At that, John had to agree. But he still didn't like it.

"How are you feeling?" Anna chuckled. He asked her that every day, multiple times a day. While she knew he did it out of concern for her and the baby, it was getting a little old.

"I'm good," she said, taking a step closer to him. She stayed back slightly so she wouldn't cause his cards to fall.

"Come closer," John said, reaching out for her hand.

"I don't want to knock down your house. You've worked so hard on it," she answered, but she still did as he said. He pulled her next to him and the two viewed his house of cards for a moment, before John pulled one card out of the middle and they all fell down.

"Why'd you do that?" Anna questioned, slightly disappointed to see it now gone.

"Oh my darling, don't you know that's what's fun? Building it to let it all fall down," he told her. Anna's head rested against his arm and she narrowed her eyes.

"But why? Why build it just to destroy it?"

"Why do children build up blocks and then knock them down?" John countered.

"Because it's fun?"

"Exactly," John said. "How about you try it?"

Anna shook her head.

"I've never been good at that. It always fell immediately as I tried to build it."

"Here, I'll show you some tricks," John said. He quickly cleaned up the cards and put them into a pile. Then he took two of them and made a simple triangle with them. "Try the next one."

With shaky fingers, Anna attempted to mimic what John had done. But her fingers fidgeted too much and hers fell, causing John's to fall, as well.

"See, I told you," Anna said, as she leaned back against John. John just chuckled lightly. Then he took his hands and placed them over hers, helping her steady two against one another to stand. With careful hands, he pulled them away.

"There, you did it," he whispered into her ear. Anna laughed.

"Yes, my masterpiece of two cards with your help, I might add."

"It's a start," John replied, before kissing her cheek. His hands were still over hers and he grabbed them, placing both of their hands on top of her belly. Then his head rested against her shoulder and he contently sighed. Anna's head tilted toward his and she closed her eyes.

"We make a good team, Mr. Bates," Anna commented.

"Absolutely, my darling," he replied.

"I'm anxious about tomorrow and later this week," Anna admitted, reopening her eyes and standing up straighter.

"I know," John agreed. "Me too. But we'll make it through this, Anna." Anna turned and her eyes filled with tears.

"But what if he….." Anna's voice caught in her throat and she pressed her face into John's chest. Another panic attack was starting. She had been to the therapist Sybil recommended once and had another appointment coming up in a few days. Dr. Baxter had given her some techniques to use, but she couldn't remember them right now. The session had gone better than she expected. However, one time wasn't going to make a change. It was going to take more time and more sessions.

John's hands came around her and he held her close.

"We will take each thing as it comes to us, Anna," John calmly replied. He couldn't promise that Alex wouldn't get near the baby, no matter how much he wanted to. But he could promise to be there with her every step of the way.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John sat down in front of Matthew's desk and wrote out the check for him to give to Green's lawyer. A sigh passed through Matthew's lips, but John ignored it. He knew Matthew was disappointed John was giving into Green's demands. Matthew wanted to fight harder. But John knew it wasn't worth it. He didn't want to give Alex Green or his lawyer anymore steam to use against Anna later in the week. Plus, it was only 2,000 pounds. Sure, it was a lot of money, but not enough to make the fight worth it.

"I don't understand," Matthew finally mused aloud. "How is Green affording Carlisle? He isn't cheap. Plus, 2,000 pounds isn't nearly enough to even pay his fees."

Glancing up from his check, John studied Matthew's face. "Do you think he's wealthy?"

Matthew's head shook.

"No, based on the limited research I did on Alex Green, he has a low paying job."

John's brows furrowed. "Could Carlisle be doing this case pro bono?" At that question, Matthew laughed out loud.

"Absolutely not. Carlisle isn't one to do something to help someone without it benefiting him more."

"Hum," John thought out loud. "So you think something fishy is going on?"

"Perhaps not fishy," Matthew elaborated, "But he may have someone who is wealthy helping him out. There may be a connection between him and Carlisle that we don't know."

"So it's something we should look into? A lead that could help Anna with the baby?"

Matthew twisted his lips and replied, "Maybe, Bates, but you need to know that there is a very good chance a judge is going to grant Mr. Green with at least visitation rights if that DNA test shows that he is the father."

"But he's an evil man," John countered. Matthew's eyes softened and he gave John a knowing nod.

"I know that and you know that, but without proof, there's little a judge will do to withhold a father from its child. Thankfully, Anna should get full custody, at least while the child is an infant, and he'll only get visitation."

John fell back in his chair. While he had known that was the most likely outcome, it hurt to hear it. Anna and the baby meant the world to him. He would do anything for them.

"Fortunately, my wife is a stubborn woman, Bates. She will do everything she possibly can to protect Anna and the baby. The best option right now is to try to wait him out," Matthew said, explaining the plan to John.

"Wait him out?"

"He's likely a dead beat father. Push limitations onto him that he'll likely fail. And over time his rights will grow fewer and fewer and hopefully, he'll just disappear one day."

"But that doesn't protect the baby from him returning," John added.

"We take it a step at a time. Mary has good ideas. She and I are working together closely on this," Matthew promised. "But you need to be prepared for the worst, because Anna won't be. No matter how much she wants to be, it's her child. She'll need you to be able to see all the possibilities when she won't be able to."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John walked into their flat feeling defeated. But he had little time to focus on that, because he heard Anna crying. He hadn't been expecting her home; she was supposed to be at work.

With quick steps, John rushed toward the sound of Anna's tears. She was in their bedroom, sitting at the edge of the bed, with her face hiding in her hands. Her shoulders shook and she seemed heartbroken.

"Anna?" John carefully questioned. At his voice, Anna glanced up. She quickly wiped the tears away from her cheeks and slowly stood, shaking her head.

"I….I'm sorry," she said, walking toward him. John reached out and placed his hands lovingly onto her shoulders.

"Why are you apologizing? What's wrong?"

Anna sniffled.

"I….My boss fired me," she cried.

"What?!" John exclaimed. It was not what he was expecting.

"I….I had another panic attack at work, during a big meeting. All….all I could think about was…was Friday and having…having to see him….and…..I had an attack. My boss said that I couldn't do my job having these attacks all the time. He….he said he would have to let me go, that….that he'd given me a chance to get it under control," Anna explained.

"He can't do that Anna," John stated. "You should get your therapist to write him or something, surely…."

"It doesn't matter, John. He…if he doesn't want me there, then I shouldn't be there. Plus, he's right. I can't do my job having attacks all the time," Anna said, wiping under her eyes.

"My darling…."

"It's fine, John. Really. I….I'll figure something else out," she told him.

"What if you didn't have to?"

"What?"

"What if you didn't work for a little while? If you just spent time focusing on getting better and the baby? Then maybe after she's born you could start school, if you still wanted to," John suggested.

Anna looked down at the floor and inhaled sharply, "John…."

"You don't have to decide right now," he said.

Glancing back up and meeting John's eyes, she bit down on the corner of her lip. "I don't want to be a burden on you. It's not right….."

"The furthest thing you are to me is a burden, Anna," he murmured, before bending over and catching her lips with his own. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Kisses being peppered on the back of her neck made Anna wake up with a chuckle. She turned to her back and met John's eyes.

"Good morning," she quietly stated. Her hand came up to brush over his unshaven chin.

"So I have a surprise," John told her, sitting up slightly. And he couldn't help but smile when Anna's lips curled into a bright smile.

"What type of surprise?"

"Well, I took today off, ordered us a picnic lunch from Patmore's Bakery, and we're going to go on a car ride today," he explained. Anna sat up and her nose wrinkled up as her smile widened.

"Truly?"

"Truly, my darling." Anna bent forward and kissed him fiercely.

"That's a great surprise."

Neither mentioned what tomorrow was and what it meant for Anna to have this particular distraction today.

Anna positioned herself over John, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling his lips back to hers.

"If I knew I'd get a proper make out session out of this, I would take us to the car more often," John teased.

"Oh that's enough, silly beggar," Anna playfully said back.

"Never," John responded, kissing her again. Kissing was only as far as the two ever got, but for now, they were both okay with that. John knew Anna needed to be in a better place before they went farther and there were other ways to be intimate with one another.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Once again, Anna wrapped the scarf around her hair as the two rode down the street. She threw her hand out the window and enjoyed as the wind flew up and around her hand. It was a freeing experience.

As the two pulled back into the garage, Anna turned to John and pulled his hand into hers, clinging to it tightly.

"Thank you," she sincerely said to him.

"For what?"

"For sharing this with me," she replied. "I know this car is special to you and I feel special that you let me experience it."

"You are special, Anna," John answered, his hand brushing against her cheek lovingly. "You and Carson are my world."

Anna chuckled.

"So we are naming her Carson?" Anna asked.

"Yes," John definitively stated. "Carson Bates, our girl."

"Carson Rose Bates," Anna said, placing his hand over her belly and then pulling the scarf off her hair and placing it on top of their hands. John's eyes welled with tears.

"Rose? After my mother?" Anna nodded.

"Yes."

John nodded, unable to say anything else. He was too overcome with emotion from Anna's thoughtfulness of naming the baby after his mother. He pulled her closer to him and tenderly kissed her.

The baby kicked their hands, so they both pulled away and laughed. John placed his face over where the kick took place and rubbed it gently with his hand.

"Alright, Miss Carson, you'll have to get used to me kissing your mummy." Anna chuckled.

"I think she'll get used to it," Anna teased with a wink. "Now, back to the kissing please. It's not too much longer before we have to head back."

To be continued...

Next chapter: The big meeting between lawyers, Green, and Anna.