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Chapter 24
He couldn't believe it. She was here and she was perfect. John held the small babe in his arms and gently ran his finger along the curve of her cheek. The baby cooed and her lips pursed, making him chuckle.
The last several hours were a blur. It had all happened so quickly. The two of them had been on the couch, relaxing. And then a panic attack had taken over Anna. He had been unable to calm her. Worried, he phoned Sybil, who told him to call an ambulance or rush her to the hospital. When they got to the hospital, Sybil met them right out front. Anna had calmed slightly, but was still finding it difficult to breathe.
After taking Anna's vitals, Sybil determined the baby needed to be born right away. They admitted Anna into the hospital and induced labor. It had taken several hours and John had felt helpless. Anna was still pretty far gone, so they had given her something to try and calm her more.
As Carson was born, her cry filled the room. But Sybil had to hand the baby over to one of the nurses and return her attention to Anna, whose heartrate had sky rocketed. They had been able to regulate her heartrate and get her to sleep. Sybil said she would be checking on her every hour until she was certain Anna was out of the woods. Until then, John was the one with Carson.
Her little face squished up and her lower lip pouted out, as she began to cry. John bounced her, carefully, and tried to soothe the small bundle. Anna was still sleeping. He wanted to make sure she got the rest she needed.
"Shh, shh, my sweet, sweet little darling," John soothed. "I know you want your mummy. She'll hold you soon." The little girl's cries stopped and her eyes widened. She appeared to be staring right at John, which only made him smile. "Well, hello there, Miss Carson. I'm your daddy."
Carson didn't look like anyone, not yet anyway. She had a button nose and the bluest of eyes. He knew that could change, but he hoped they stayed blue like her mother's.
John knew that he had this deep love for her. He would never let anyone hurt her. Selling the car had been the best thing he could have ever done, because now she and Anna were protected. He would do it again and again, if it meant they never had to face any trials ever again.
Elsie and Charles were still out in the waiting room. After Carson was born, he ran out to tell them. Because of Anna's condition at the moment, Sybil wanted to limit who was in the room for now. John knew he should let them both come in to meet the baby, but he also knew that Anna wanted to tell them her name. So he would have to tell them, that for now, he didn't know what it was.
The little girl had fallen back asleep in his arms and he placed her into the small bassinet by Anna's bed. She fussed briefly, before falling back into a blissful sleep.
Right as John was about to leave to find one of Anna's parents to come in, he heard Anna stir. John turned and saw her eyes slowly fluttering awake.
He rushed to her side, carefully sitting next to her on the bed. He took her hand into his own and ran his thumb over her knuckles.
"Wh…what…." Anna shakily asked.
"You're in the hospital," John slowly explained. "You've had the baby." Anna's eyes searched his face and then they frantically widened.
"Is…is she okay?"
"She's perfect," John replied with a smile. He sat back slightly so Anna could see the baby asleep in the bed next to her. "Do you want me to get her so that you can hold her?" Anna's head shook.
"No….no, let her sleep," Anna answered. "Plus, I still feel weak. I…I'm not sure I can hold her."
"Okay, my darling," John warmly said, bending forward to press a kiss on her forehead. "What do you need? Should I ask for Sybil?"
"No," Anna took in a shaky breath. "I'm fine."
"Your parents are here. They've been here since we got here and have been anxious to see you and meet Carson. Would you like me to send one of them in? Or do you need to rest a while longer?"
"Can they not just come in now?" She asked, her head foggy.
"Sybil wants one person in here at the time right now. She's still worried about you," John explained.
"Oh," Anna simply replied. "You…you can send one in at a time to meet the baby. That…that's fine."
"Alright, my darling. One will be in shortly and I'll be right outside if you need me."
John kissed Anna's forehead once more, before getting up and exiting the bedroom. Anna shifted slightly, but only mere moments later Elsie was gingerly walking through the door.
"Hello, love, how are you feeling?" Elsie asked.
"Tired," Anna honestly answered. Elsie nodded, but before she could say anything else, her eyes were drawn to the sleeping baby. Elsie quietly made her way to the small bed and she peered over the side.
"Oh Anna, she's beautiful," Elsie exclaimed.
"Is she?" Anna asked. "I've only seen her from a distance."
"Well, why don't you let me pick her up for you?" Elsie offered. Anna's head shook.
"No, she's asleep. We….we should let her sleep," Anna stated. Elsie sighed, but nodded. Gently, she reached her hand down and brushed the baby's cheek.
"What's her name?"
"Carson," Anna answered. At her words, Elsie quickly moved her eyes to Anna. "Carson Rose Bates."
"Carson?" Elsie asked, astonished.
"Yes, I wanted to name her after you and Dad," Anna replied.
"Oh, Anna, I…..I don't know what to say," Elsie said. "What an honor." She glanced back down at the baby one more time, before moving over to Anna.
She sat down on a chair next to the bed and her eyes kept slowly floating back over to the baby, itching to hold her.
"You can pick her up, if you'd like," Anna said.
"No, you said she's sleeping. And if you haven't held her yet, I surely shouldn't hold her right now." Slowly, Elsie's eyes moved back from the baby toward Anna and she was surprised to find Anna's lower lip trembling and her eyes filling with tears.
"Anna, love?" She questioned, reaching out for her daughter's hand.
"You…you were right," Anna confessed, a tear slipping from her eye. "I….I'm frightened. I….I've been frightened about the baby. What….what if I can't love her enough? What….what if I resent her? What…..And now…now I've put her in danger by not facing these thoughts and she was born early. I….I could have killed her," Anna cried.
"Shh, now," Elsie said, getting up from her chair and maneuvering so she was sitting on the edge of Anna's bed. "Carson is alright, dear. Those fears are completely understandable. You're allowed to feel that way. No one would blame you."
"But….but she deserves so much more than that. I….I do love her. I love her so much, Mum," Anna sobbed. Elsie's hand reached out to touch Anna's cheek.
"I know you do," Elsie answered. "You have been fiercely protective of her from the moment you knew you were pregnant with her."
"But how do I protect her from me?" Anna asked, her eyes glassy with tears. Just then, the baby began to fuss. Elsie stood and walked over to the small bassinet, lifting the baby girl up into her arms.
Elsie's lips curled into a bright smile as she glanced at her granddaughter's face. She walked her over to Anna, and before she could protest, set the baby into her arms. Anna's glassy eyes blinked and then her lips twitched up into the smallest, but warmest, of smiles.
"Oh my God," Anna breathed, unable to explain how this feeling felt. "She…she's absolutely perfect." Elsie's own smile grew and she placed her hand over Anna's, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"See, my love," Elsie began, "I knew once you held her those fears would melt away. I know how much you love her."
"I do," Anna agreed, the small baby settling in her arms. "So much."
"It's okay to be scared. All parents are. Your circumstances are different than most, but I know you'll love this little girl fiercely and that will never change."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
A few hours later, Sybil had determined that Anna was up to more visitors than just one at a time. So both her parents and John were in the room with her. Charles was holding Carson at the moment and Anna wasn't sure she had ever seen him smile as brightly as he was right now. He had nearly cried when Anna had told him her name.
There came a knock on the door. Then Mary's head popped in.
"Mind if I drop in for just a moment?" Anna shook her head. Mary stepped in, holding two small packages. "This one is for you, Anna. And this package is for little…."
"Carson," Charles giddily told Mary. "This is my granddaughter, Carson." His giddiness made Anna chuckle. Mary stepped forward and smiled.
"May I?" Charles handed the baby to her and Mary smiled down at the little one.
"She's beautiful, Anna."
Anna just nodded, her eyes growing heavy. John noted her tiredness and decided it was time he intervened. He stepped forward and took charge.
"I think it may be time for Anna and Carson to go to bed," he said. Thankfully, all three visitors took the cue.
"Of course," Mary said. She handed Carson back to John.
"We will be back tomorrow, first thing," Charles told Anna, as he bent over and kissed her head.
"See you then, Dad," Anna said with a smile. "Thank you, Mary for coming. Love you, Mum."
The three exited the room, leaving Anna, John, and the baby alone.
John took a seat back on the edge of the bed and asked, "How are you feeling?" The baby fussed slightly, so Anna sat up and gently took her from John's arms.
"Good, but tired. I need to feed her and then try to get some sleep."
"Sybil says you'll likely need to be here a week. She wants to make sure you are back to yourself, before going home."
Anna hazily nodded, sleep starting to take over, as she shifted Carson onto her breast. Days ago, she likely would have been too nervous to do this in front of John. But now, she found she didn't care. They were a family and she was too tired for discretion.
After Anna nursed Carson, she handed her back over to John and fell deeper into the pillows, sleep overtaking her. The baby blinked up at John, making him chuckle.
"Yes, it's me again," he murmured. Her little hand reached up. John brought his hand to hers, which made her grasp around his finger. "Strong girl, just like your mummy."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
The Carsons walked out with Mary. As they made their way outside, Charles sighed.
"I really hate that that man got away with everything and the people he was working with," he muttered. "Makes me sick to my stomach."
Mary turned toward the two of them and gave them a sly smile. "Who says they did?"
"What?" Elsie questioned. Mary just quickly shook her head.
"I can't say much right now, but be assured that I don't just let things drop. Have a good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Carson. Congratulations on your new granddaughter."
To be continued...
Little Miss Carson is officially here, but the story is still not over yet. It's getting closer, but there are still some things that need to happen before we get there. Thank you for reading. And thank you in advance for any comments. I hope you enjoyed it. :)