New Orleans, Louisiana

"Pammy, relax, you're a Ewing now, you don't have to work anymore, so that solves that dilemma. As for your family, you'll see them when we're in Dallas, a couple of days a week at least and probably more during the semester breaks. Like I keep saying, it's a part-time move, we're not leaving Dallas permanently", attempting to reassure her, confident in his ability to explain that the change was a good one and not something to be afraid of or intimidated by, he was taken aback by her frown and quick response.

"Ok fine, so I don't have to work, but what if I want to work? I might not have the best job in the world, but I like working in general, I like having a purpose, I like the social interaction, and I like having an income. I can't think of much worse than spending all day sitting around a lonely apartment in a city where I know nobody while you're on campus, so don't even think about suggesting that". Explaining her concerns, seemingly rejecting the life he could provide for her, he crinkled his forehead in response; she was totally misconstruing his intentions. He didn't want to upset her or take away the things that brought her joy, not at all. It was hardly a secret that she found her job dull or that he could more than afford to support both of them without ever having to touch her income, so his original comments were intended not as a criticism or direction, but as an allowance and explanation. They wouldn't be leaving their families forever, and she'd have all the time in the world to see them during their visits to Dallas if she wasn't busy working, so he didn't really understand the problem.

"I didn't suggest that at all, you did. If you really want to work even though you don't have to then I'm not going to stop you, and if a flexible schedule is important then maybe you can find another job, perhaps a part-time one, so an erratic schedule isn't a problem. I have a better suggestion though, we'll work together, work on making a baby, that'll give you purpose, social interaction and something to do with your time". Making a comment about her work situation, he wasted no time in suggesting that perhaps she could find contentment in another situation, one he hoped they'd be facing sometime soon anyway and one he hoped would redirect her annoyance with him, because if she wanted something to do with her days then what better than to occupy herself with motherhood?

"Bobby, stop. You're not listening to me. I'm not happy about having all of this information dropped on me after I married you, but as that's what's happened, the least you can do is actually try to understand where I'm coming from. Firstly, I didn't marry you for your money or the security that comes from being Mrs Ewing and I'm not ready to embrace living as if I did just yet, so let's just forget any scenario where I quit working just because I got married. Secondly, I want you to be happy in grad school, but it would have been nice to have been consulted on the life changes that follow before you made them, especially since they affect my situation a lot. Lastly, I want a baby, not this minute though; I'd like to enjoy being married for a while first, enjoy what we make of our new life together before changing it completely again".

Surprised by her outburst, he began to see that she really was quite special. She genuinely seemed to want to be independent of him and what he could provide her, which was interesting and potentially nice, knowing she was genuinely not after his money, though it also made him question why she'd married him in the first place if she didn't seem to want to really live as his wife. To add to that, her reluctance to commit to expanding their family soon came as quite a surprise; he'd always assumed married women wanted to be wives and mothers, that was how the women closest to him acted, and the one woman who'd decided she didn't want to be his wife still soon became a mother. Of course he wanted to enjoy their married life together, that's why he had made the comments he had; he was more than capable of providing a life for them where they spent every moment of free time getting to know each other even further, and naturally he assumed that eventually their actions would have consequences, wonderful consequences. Apparently, his assumptions were wrong though.

"I'm sorry Pamela, I didn't realise this would be such a big deal for you. I assumed…" cut off by Pam as he began to reply, he frowned as she spoke herself again. "That's just it, you assumed an awful lot without asking me about any of it. You assumed I'd follow you anywhere and do whatever you wanted with my life because you're my husband. I'll tell you now, that's not good enough. I won't just be an adornment on your arm for you to show off and I won't just provide a womb for the next Ewing grandchild; I want my own life, one with you, but one where I'm still human, not simply a wife and mother". Taking his intentions and twisting them into something completely different it seemed, this time it was he that was offended by her comments.

"What's wrong with being a wife and mother?" frowning, he strongly opposed the thought that it would somehow be a bad thing for her to move on from being completely independent and instead become his partner in life, his wife and the mother of their future children. He wasn't trying to crush her spirit or turn her into something she wasn't, he wasn't trying to force her into following him blindly, or remove her humanity, he just naively assumed that since she'd married him and committed to a future with him, she envisioned the same future he did, one where they did things together.

"Nothing, but that's not all I want to be, not now, or not yet, I don't know. What I do know is this is all happening very fast, one minute we're dating and the next we're married, can't we just slow down and enjoy that first?" Replying, Pam's comments began to fit into place; she'd gone from single to married quickly and for a lady like her that was a big transition, so she needed some time to adjust to the idea, and honestly, probably so did he. "We can do that. We'll discuss the details later, but I don't have a problem with you taking some time to get used to our new life together, I want to get to know you better than I know myself. If working means so much to you then I won't stand in your way, and we don't have to try to have a baby just yet, that is if we haven't already started the process". Touching the sheet covering her abdomen with his open palm, optimistically hoping that their act of love earlier had done just that, he jumped slightly when Pam recoiled and scrambled toward the edge of the bed.

"Trust me, we haven't", retorting quickly, she looked quite certain that what she'd said was true and he frowned as he understood why. "Oh? It's like that is it?" knowing instantly what she meant, he was bothered on a couple of levels. Firstly, although he understood her decision to take precautions as a single woman, he was somewhat offended that she'd made him use protection himself every time they'd been together before tonight, because it said to him she was afraid of diseases from him, not a baby, considering she was already preventing the latter. Secondly, he didn't like the idea of his wife effectively shutting down his hopes before they even had a chance to develop; he could understand that their marriage was a surprise, so she hadn't been prepared for their new situation, however, her attitude didn't make him feel like his opinion on the issue mattered much at all. She didn't want a baby now, so they weren't going to have one now, no matter what he thought about the whole thing. It was odd, because he'd just told her they could wait and when he'd said it he'd meant it, but the moment he realised it wasn't something he was actually making an active decision in, it suddenly meant a lot more to him.

"Yes Bobby, it is, and for good reason. Just hours ago I was a woman who was unmarried, underinsured and frankly unready for motherhood; vows and a ring don't change that so quickly. As I keep saying, I want a baby, one day, but not right now. I love you, I really do, but what's so wrong with waiting until we've had some more time to be us, to get situated in our shared life before we bring another person into the equation?" Listening to her argument again, his thoughts flipped back again, allowing him to see things her way again and allowing him to understand that she wasn't being nasty or spiteful. What she did before they were married was her decision and he couldn't blame her for making marital decisions without him when she'd had literally no idea even that morning that they would very soon be married, so really, her decision wasn't a marital one at all. To go with that, she had continually told him she wasn't saying no, she was just saying not yet, not until they had been married longer than a few hours; she wanted some time to breathe and get used to their situation first, which was completely understandable.

"I understand honey, we'll wait, get to know each other first. Remember, you don't need to worry about anything anymore, our marriage has already fixed two of your concerns and the third will come in time and then as soon as you feel ready and we take that next step, everything will be perfect. I love you and I want you to be happy, I want us to be happy together and I know we will be". Reiterating again that he understood her and wanted her to want to be married to him and to enjoy their marriage, he reminded her once more too that she didn't have to do anything she had in her single life if she didn't want to.

"What is that supposed to mean?" questioning him again, it seemed his attempt at being understanding hadn't quite hit the mark, because her tone told him she still wasn't exactly happy. "It means, you're not unmarried anymore, you won't be underinsured for long, we Ewing's have excellent health coverage, and I don't know if you've met John Ross yet but he's a delight to have around. That little boy could make anyone want to be a parent, so I'm sure once we get back to Dallas and you spend some time with Sue Ellen, see how it really is and how much help she has from everyone, you'll change your mind about readiness. Then later, when we feel the time is right, after we've settled into our relationship more, we'll try ourselves. I'm not trying to push you into anything, I'm just saying, in time it will come and although vows and a ring don't instantly change everything, your concern about not feeling ready might begin to disappear faster than you expect. Or not, I don't know and I don't want to upset you by saying it will happen, I'm simply suggesting it could happen. I like the idea of being your husband and I want you to embrace and enjoy what it means to be my wife too. I love you, I want you and I want this to work". Really trying to explain himself, he could understand the need for diplomacy now; they were newly married, very newly married, and realistically it probably was a bit soon to be putting such expectations on their marriage; he hoped she understood that he was trying though, he might not always say the right thing, but he was trying.

To be continued…