Chapter 3: My rant and ideas
summary: a rant against some Naruto fanfic cliches and (sometimes) really annoying concepts.
Warning: could be offensive to some people's opinions, might be taken as a bashing for some Naruverse pairings or characters. Fourth Wall Breaking and possible language and the rest of adult warnings (might be taken as offensive/ fun) and possible dark themes. This story is generally a deconstruction so keep that in mind. Don't like don't read! You were warned!
P.S: The 'really annoying' part of the summary is not really true, but hey this story is named 'Deconstruction & Reality Ensues' for a reason, any cliches this author is talking about are not neccessarily hated, hell they might be enjoyed by them. But in this story, they have to be negative about it, sorry, in advance.
A woman appears out of thin air, long red hair and eyes, an attractive body that has nice breast and curves, with her body covered with a dark colored armor that is black on the top, covering her breasts and dark blue from there and down, showing her abdomen and legs that are not covered (image of the story).
She stands on the...multi-colored void.
She smiles a nice smile.
"Welcome to this page of this...story." she said.
"As you can see here, dear reader(s), the fact that you read this means that either you were interested in this story, or series of oneshots, or, you just stumbled on this page by mistake and just went and started reading, yeah, that is quite possible, hehe." she chuckles.
"Well, as you know, Star-Vader Omega Glendios, the author (and yes, I know that they are not that card with the Intant-Win Condition) is deconstructing this Naruverse reality, and puts them down to Earth with... some riduculous results and endings, good or bad." she smiles humorously at that.
"Anyway, my name is Illusion, the avatar of this entity who governs my mentality, body and my very existence, in this story that you are reading of course, at least, and I will talk in their place, so I will be 'accompanying' you for a while, until this 'story' ends, probably. But please call me Illusion-chan." she smiles serenely.
She creates a chair and sits, putting a leg on another.
"But staying here and chatting will not get us anywhere, so I will explain what is going to happen here in this 'chapter', we are going to rant about the Naruverse, what cliches and characters that we saw, are seeing and will point on some things that were either overused/overrated or the opposite. And I could care less about the negative reactions that we might get." her smile turns mischevious at that.
"My reactions in this chapter will be put in '*...*'."
"And for that, there are some things to point out, this is a rant so obviously there are going some people who won't like it but you can't please everybody. That's why there are some things that I ask you to consider and try to do." she explains.
"First: be objective, sometimes you need to not be bound by your feeling to a character. That means: don't look at this rant with Naruto-colored glasses, especially the protagonist's viewpoint."
"Second: keep in mind that this is not a bashing, but trying to put things in a realistic way, with a twist here and there as my opinion on how some things could have went depending on the Naruverse's concepts combined witth my own crazy ideas." she finished.
"I will try to be down to Earth with my rant, and keep in mind that this is a deconstruction, so there are things you won't like but you can as well take some of my ideas and opinions if you want to make a realistic/interesting story. It's your choice."
"Now that this is taken care of, let's start!" she smiles a wide smile.
My Rant And Ideas
Now that is out of the way, we will talk about 2 things in general, Cliches and Ideas.
I) Cliches:
We all generally know about them, those ideas and plots that get used by the fandoms so much that they somtimes become akin to the canon, well these are some of them that sometimes irritate me from how much I see them and how they could be interpreted differently.
1) Naruto(ko)'s abuse:
well, this is not impossible to happen, as Naruto was once attacked with a broom by a store owner in the anime/manga while people were apparently enjoying the 'show'. So the villagers trying to do more is, as I said, not impossible.
*getting irritated*
What annoys me is WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM (a good amount, but not all, actually) EXAGGERATE IT TO RIDICULOUS LEVELS?!
Naruto gets beaten, tortured, raped, skinned, burned, stabbed and more, but WHY doesn't he have any mental traumas of these atacks other than being anti-social and everyone with the same problems or worse gets bashed?!*screams in annoyance*
Especially rape, I've read like, only 3 or 4 fanfics so far where THAT caused him an actual mental problem, one where he has an extreme fear of women, or of them sexually trying to gain his attention at least (Ino and Hinata were the ones who tried and it ended poorly), in another, he flinches at being touched (it is a DXD crossover but forgot the name), and in a third he is a sadist who doesn't give a damn about turning Sasuke into a literal sex toy for the females of konoha (his mother and the Uzumakis were the ones who did that).
In most fanfics, the abuse (s)he receives is only there to make him/her more 'righteous/morally correct', not to actually make him grow as a character.*might be wrong, might be right, depending on dear reader's viewpoint and the fanfic in question*
If that was in reality, let alone being afraid of being touched or other phobias, the person would probably kill themselves, become empty husks or become insane from the torture, if they didn't die while or after it happened.
And the idea that Naruto(ko) will be able to take it and not raise a fuss more than "p-please stop!" and "w-why do they do that to me!?" is plain ridiculous, especially with a child's mentality which puts practically everything into the whole 'Black and White Morality' trope, that means: Naruto will utterly loath and hate those who did that to him, or have an extreme fear of them and will want them to go away-wether dead or not is up to debate. He will not be like 'I forgive you' or 'no! give them another chance!', or...Naruto(ko) will become a sadist and starts enjoying rape and torture, with him/her being on the giving end, that is. And it could make him think that it is normal to have those things happen to anyone.
Meaning: an abused Naruto is a ticking bomb that could kill everyone, and I mean everyone, and with the Shadow Clones and the henge...*shudders at the horrifying implications*
2) Naruto's concept about danger and his attitude toward it:
Related to the above, Naruto being abused and attacked repeatedly, probably on a daily basis -wether it did or didn't result in the above- or simply healing fast and never getting sick could easily twist his concept of danger, as an example: He gets tortured daily but keeps healing (a fact) therefore, if he saw someone else get the same treatment, he might not actually think it is a big deal and simply shrug and believe that they will heal afterward, especially before graduating since the Kyuubi is a 'supposed secret'.*says in a matter-of-fact tone*
Also, that makes him a seriously poor judge of the situations and threat levels because he will take his body and it's healing factor as the base so he could easily kill/ cripple anyone he works with as a result by pushing them beyond their capacities.
And yet he always in fanfics has a normal concept and awareness about them. And to be honest, his (over)confidence could be an effect from his twisted awareness about that.
3) Naruto's Sexy Jutsu:
We all know it, the jutsu where he transforms into a naked girl to get other men knocked by a nosebleed.*rolls her eyes in amusement*
Well, it is indeed comedic and funny to see that happen but think about what made naruto believe that that jutsu is a good idea to create...*shivers*
The fact that a child thought that it is a good idea means that Naruto had either: a) seen women stripping completely naked and enjoying doing so, or b) had to deal with his hormones and copied a female appearance to do so since no one told him how to, or c) he saw that females were treated better so he wanted to be one.
In either case, Naruto had to deal with strippers or possible female pedophiles, or had to deal with his (possible) sexual urges-especially if the idea that he lives close to the red light district is to be believed, or he was accepting that he, as a male is worthless and he needs a gender change to be respected.*eyes show horror*
4) Oversexualisation/ Undersexualisation:
Again, I have no problems with anyone's fanfics, and I honestly read many fanfics with that concept and still do.*tries to be as placating as possible*
But it sometimes gets ridiculous when people make, well, Hinata/Naruko (as an example) into some kind of a big breasted girl (C-cup or higher) when she is freaking ten or younger, and this is just the most noticeable change, others include an exaggerated body figure (nothing less than a perfect one), and somehow every (wo)man will want to get laid with her even though in reality, not every one will have a liking for her body because of their preferances.*sighs at the insanity*
And somehow these girls in question don't give a damn about that attention or they enjoy it even when they really should be worried.*shakes her head*
And inversely, females who are attractive and have better figure in the manga/anime end up having their figure becoming less appealing and attractive.
And I have to say that Studio Pierrot had already did this with Sakura and Hinata, I've seen the images/desings where Sakura was suppossed to have cuter and more busty figure and Hinata, a less busty one, but...
5) (Instant) Power-Up=Harems/Brainwash:
This is more for OP!/BAMF!/Godly! Naruto fics, not the others ;
I read many of them, but if taken realistically, they're really, really dumb.*shighs exasperatedly*
And it is always Naruto or his version who has this cliche for them. Have Sasuke, Jiraiya, or anyone else really, give them this cliche and they are most of the time the evil maniac who wants to enslave (all the women in the) world and should be stopped, obviously by Naruto and then have him bang every other woman because... *shrugs helplessly*
Also, WHY is it only when Naruto gets a power-up that women start throwing themselves on him, and somehow start getting jealous over every other female that makes some kind of advances on him? Can't he get a harem with only his pre-chunin exam skills or he is so unappealing that he needs to get an OP power for that? (i.e. Anko asks/begs BAMF Naruto to spank her and he agrees then every woman in the area, including Ino, Hinata, Yugao, Kurenai and more (Sakura's opinion is up to debate with how much she appears to be bashed) gets pissed that it's not them who is being spanked).*facepalms*
Not to mention, the females don't, in most cases, want to share their male counterpart even with just one other female then how could she share him with four or more females?
It gets even weirder when married and engaged women confess their love for BAMF Naruto while they have their husbands/boyfriends and abondon them and/or their children just to sleep with Naruto, it is easily the Naruto version of the whole 'For Uchiha Sasuke-sama!' concept, just 'without' the negative results that is caused by it (divorce, violence, orphans, suicide, etc).
And realistically, only Hinata will probably like Naruto like that at that time (before chunin exams) and even she won't throw herself on him, she was so shy at that time that she will probably faint with him just holding her hands. No other woman, especially an older kunoichi will lose her mind and act like that, so unless Naruto gained some kind of mind controlling ability, and he has no problem using it, he won't gain the harem.*explains seriously*
Honestly, the only way he could acquire a harem is by some serious circumstances (i.e. gaining women as spoils of war or capturing them as an enemy and politics.) and even then, he is too nice and he needs to be more careful/strict -which is not in his character most of the time- since they might want to kill him for 'enslaving / using' them, a completely logical reason.
6) Naruto(ko) gets banished (or killed then given another chance in life) and vows to destroy Konoha:
The entire trope is practically named by me as the Village Bashing Trope, as it is pretty easy to know what's going to happen; protagonist gets the shaft, gets betrayed by their vilage thanks to the 'evil council/power behind the scenes', returns ofter becoming OP, burns the damn village while sparing the loyal ones and marries their dream lover(s) and live happily.
But there are so many logical problems in that:
First: Naruto is the freaking jinchuuriki, a nuke by our world's standard, there's no way they will execute him. Enslave him, maybe, seals are capable of that at least, and banishing him? He is a damn diamond! Why will they throw him away while the others could and would kidnap/accept him into their ranks!?*screams in confusion*
Second: There's no 'evil council', I checked the damn wiki, the only ones are the Hokage and the elders, and the HOKAGE has the decisive voice, THAT'S ALL!*happy and smug that the truth is in manga/anime*
Third: Okay, so Naruto was exiled from Konoha, then WHY THE HELL WOULD HE RETURN!?*screams in hysteria* Honestly it's more logical for someone as screwed in his brain that they would go to a place where no one will find him! He can stay in a cave, kill a tiger/whatever, cook it, do his chores and train there and no problems, what with most people he met in Konoha hating and wanting to overprice him and all that. Loved ones be damned, everyone has a limit for their patience, and realistically Naruto's had expired the moment they betrayed him.
7) Bashing:
Well, I don't hate the fact that a character is getting bashed, but it gets boring when she reappears only to be bashed again, and most of the time it is the same thing, a serious case of egoism bordering god complex and every action she does is strictly self-centric and evil, and most of their 'good' qualities get thrown out of the window and their negative ones get an increase Up To Eleven, turning a possibly realistic character into a one-dimensional evil character.
8) OverPowering/UnderPowering a character:
A simple concept, really. A character that's originally weak becomes over 9000 power level, or an extremely powerful one gets weakened to a ridiculous level.
This concept could be easily seen in bashing fics, as an example: Sasuke (the bashed character), who gained the EMS by killing both Sakura and Itachi fights Naruto and loses...because Naruto has a freaking crazy bloodline that allows him to alter reality to his heart's content and made himself immune to all illusions, able to absorb all chakra natures, oh and he has an eye that allows him to create black holes and erase the planets.
Yeah, Naruto was not being overpowered at the slightest.*says in deadpan*
The weirdest thing is that sometimes, this cliche is there to weaken a character and make her humiliated just for the heck of it, and even the protagonist is not immune to it, sometimes in the stupidest ways.
9) Double Standards:
I just know that people might or will flame me for this but hey at least I try.*smiles sweetly it gets annoying*
We all know those scenes, or at least have heard/wrote about them, Jiraiya peeps on Tsunade/any female, and he gets punched to the sky for his trouble, no one bats an eye.
Swap the genders and everyone lose their heads, unless it's a Tsunade/said female bashing fic but that's neither here or there.
I get that you guys AND girls want to have some concept from our reality but at least, can you please not make Naruto like some kind of a saint where he won't ever hit women?*asks gently*
Haaahhh...He can kill, tear and torture hudreds of men and doesn't bat an eye, and then a female comes to fight him and he instantly stops thinking all his fighting scenarios and hesitates? And then he is fighting her but severely limits himself even though she is so skilled that holding back might cost him his life so that she will not get severely hurt?
This is ridiculous, and in their world, even more so!
They are living in a world of death! I am pretty sure that the ninja who want to kill you won't give a damn about your gender, they will kill you because you are in their way or their enemy.
You sometimes call ninja who kills a female without remorse a 'misogynist' and 'sexist' and really, it is idiotic.
This 'misogynist/sexist' has to fight to protect his country, his family, his companions, and his life, had to escape hunters, missing nins, the other villages, and traps that are quite gruesome that might surpass the Saw hooror movie series in the sadistic and disgusting details and you are telling him to throw all of that just because a female is fighting him and he has to oblige her, a woman he never met, or knew about, and that wants to kill him, and fail those he cares about for the sake of the feelings of a random person he never interacted with? If that was true then Naruto will just need a female telling him that he must die for the sake of the female gender and he will happily pierce his head with a sharp weapon. Yeah, gender equality in fanfics.*overflowing with sarcasm*
Also don't confuse misogyny with sexism! 'Misogyny' is an extreme dislike/distrust for women while 'sexism' means having an extreme prejudice and predetermined and mostly degrading viewpoint regearding the GENDER! not just against females but males as well!*finishes screaming while raising her arms and throwing a temper tantrum*
And logically, those 'feminist' characters are in a way, even worse sexists than those 'sexist men', what with them expecting that all men are perverts/rapists and complaining when a male is not interested in them, especially when they are kunoichis.
A kunoichi is a female who had seen death, rape, anarchy, and torture, and probably experienced them as well, if anything, her being a kunoichi should dull the meaning and concept of double standards.
And in my opinion, the meaning of double standards when it comes to gender in the Naruverse disappeared the moment both henge and seals came into the story. *smiles at the found loophole in the Naruverse gender system* I have other ways to ignore them.*smug smile on the lip*
I mean, seriously, people can freaking chane genders with a few hand seals because they have, the Henge(AKA transformation), why didn't kunoichi ban that instead of annoying others?
And it isn't just stopping at genders, but extends to the characters as well.
Have Hinata (loved) and Sakura (bashed) join a cooking lesson; Sakura mistakes salt for sugar and everyone is sneering and insulting her skills and intelligence, but have Hinata do the same mistake and everyone except Sakura is praising her for being so close at finishing the dish.
Two people, the same mistakes and opposite reactions from the audience.
Other examples involve:
-Hinata loves Naruto so she deserves him and he has to love her, his feelings for Sakura are not of importance. And every other female must beat him up until he 'confesses his feelings' to her. And then they (the females) say that love is a choice.
-A boy doesn't attack a girl "Are you underestimating me!? Are you not a real man!?" he attacks her "What kind of savage are you!? Don't you know how to treat females!?" And kunoichi complain about men changing their tunes.
-Naruto has as many women as he wants to marry, and no one gives a damn, someone else has more than one, and he is a jerkass, womanizer, a sadist who enjoys to torture the 'weaker' gender and should be killed for his sins (unless they were on the 'good' side, AKA: Naruto's, then they're automatically bunch of gentlemen who give their partners the respect and love they want and deserve, even if a little perverted).
I really don't care anymore.*gives up*
10) Ships:
Nothing personal against this, heck I read some fics with strange pairings!*being honest*
And honestly, Naruto the Last and the final 2 chapters are a disappointment in my opinion.
But it sometimes gets repetetive, and really annoying when the pairings are brought in the same way over and over.*sighs exasperately*
An example in most naruhina fics that I have seen:
_Naruto finds that he doesn't like Sakura, so he instantly falls in love with his one and only soulmate Hinata, even though he didn't talk to her a lot and was just few minutes ago in love with Sakura.
_Naruto gets banished/executed and returns stronger than ever wanting to burn the village to the ground, and ends up marrying Hinata who only had, like, 5 minutes to confess her love, and somehow he still remembers it (even after centuries passed for him in his new reality), and he mostly returns after she is either branded with the cage bird seal, is about to be married to a fat rich man/Sakuke/Kiba to give the Hyuugas more influence, goes saving/freeing her and they meet, kiss and then might or might not have sex then and there if the Hinata in that story is some kind of succubus for Naruto.
11) The protagonist is always right. NOT:
This is fanfiction! The concept of 'protagonist' to someone is the concept of 'antagonist' for another!
It sometimes gets irritating to see the same story over and over in the end: Naruto the underdog rises and defeats the big bad and becomes a hero! Or gets revenge. And even more funny is that anything he does is 'right' but whatever anyone, who disagrees with him, does is 'wrong'.
And it's ridiculous.*enjoys the amusement*
Well, let's look at the Naruverse from a 'bashed' character's viewpoint!
Sasuke: lost his entire family by the hands of the brother he dearly respected and was tortured for 72 hours watching the massacre over and over while he was younger than 10, and the fangirls kept harrassing/attacking him because of his looks and he probably thinks that they just want to use him to get his money and to be miss Uchiha-sama and start controlling him. And yet kept his mind sane (to a degree) and didn't break down and lose it only until Orochimaru gave him the curse mark and killed Itachi. Honestly, it's just because of the plot that he didn't get the MS at the start, with how much the pain of seeing his clan massacred for days should be.
Sakura: a sheltered girl who gets bullied at the academy because of her looks, and gets confidence from Ino, but they both break their friendship for the star boy of the school. The class clown (Naruto) who is from her viewpoint always lazy, arrogant, or plain irritating with his antics keeps bothering her for dates even though she didn't like him and made it clear to him, her not knowing about his life is not of importance, or is Naruto the only orphan in konoha or what?. And had to grow up as a ninja and a person to keep up with her team.
Danzo: had always wanted to protect his village, no matter what or how, and if few lives were ruined in the process, even his own, then so be it. He is literally the Naruto version of Lelouch from Code Geass! He is prepared to use and sacrifice anything to protect and attain his goals! And yet most of his actions in the fandom lose their 'well-intentioned extremist' mentality and he simply becomes plain evil.
*looks at the audience with a deadpan look*
12) Hypocrisy of Naruto the series:
The series started as this: an orphan who is burdened with a 'curse' and is disliked by those around him, and his adventures to become a great person and gain respect and love he deserves.
And it finished as this: he is the son of the leader of said village, is related to all other leader, by blood or realationships, and is the last descendant of a near extinct clan AND he is the reincarnation of a japanese deity and is destined to unify the world.
The whole fight scenes of the series also started mostly as being a mix of Code Geass and Death Note aka: using skills, knowledge, intelligence and tactics to beat your more superior and stronger opponent.
And ended up as a fight scene from Dragon Ball aka: bombard your enemy with a big-ass explosive technique bigger and higher than theirs and you win.
It becomes as disappointing as it can be.*shakes her head in disappointment*
I'm pretty sure you don't have Naruto to be the yondaime's son! Yeah, the Uzumaki heritage is good, but why isn't it very used except to make Naruto get a harem? You can make him the yondaime's bastard son and no one will care! After all, this is a very good reason for why no one accepted him even though he is the yondaime's mini-clone.
13) Writing Canon or Fanon?
Fanfic writers, make some creativity with your plots! Change the damn plot that almost all of you have the same theme in using!*screams in annoyance*
The Wave Arc as an example, I can tell you how it is going to happen in most fics; like this:
for OP!Naruto before the mission starts:
Team 7/Naruto goes to Wave, Naruto kicks the demon brothers' ass, bash Sasuke (mostly, sometimes Sakura and/or Kakashi as well, sometimes no bashing at all), fights Zabuza, more bashing follows, he goes to Tazuna's house, meets broody Inari, loses control and screams about how bad his life is to Inari, goes to the woods/forest/trees, meets Haku, wether genderbent or not is an option, if female, then he makes her blush and fall in love, returns and sees 'useless' Sasuke (& Sakura) train the tree climbing, makes deal with Zabuza in their next fight after Haku kicks Sasuke's (Sakura is optional) ass, Zabuza agrees after he/Naruto obilerate Gato's 'army'. Haku returns with Naruto to konoha, becomes (one of) his lover(s).
For OP!Naruto while at the second fight against Zabuza:
Naruto becomes OP wether by the Kyuubi, some secret bloodline, or whatever, mostly after 'bashed' Sasuke pulls a betreyal act and has Naruto take his place and get turned into some kind of pin-cushion, and then Naruto awakens his new power, kicks ass, (wether Sakura gets a realisation that Sasuke is unworthy of her is up to the writer), Zabuza (near-dead or not) asks Naruto to take care of Fem!Haku, he agrees, then they return to konoha.
Seriously, you know that you can change something, right? You can, I don't know, kill Inari or Tazuna, have Tsunami enslaved, raped or killed or whatever while Naruto is taking his 'nap' at the house. I mean, do they even have to fight the canon characters? Is Gato even needed? *tells her opinions while rolling her eyes* Make your OCs and plots, damn it!
Also, if Naruto is at jonin-level even before academy, then Kakashi wil change his damn strategy against Zabuza! And seriously, he is an ANBU right? Why wouldn't he just ask Haku if he can check Zabuza's heart and then pierce the head 'corpse' with a Chidori when Haku confidently allows him to? He is a war veteran, not a rookie!
The same is in the chunin exams. writers, you know that you don't have to make the matches exactly the same, we already know your Naruto(ko)'s powers, along with the original cast, and seriously stop making the hyuga fight scene! Everyone knows how it's going to happen most of the time: Hinata loses but is still alive, Naruto makes some kind of confession afterward, Naruto kicks Neji's ass in the exams and females look at and get aroused by Naruto's muscular body, with Hinata peeking under his underwears, most of time.
Akatsuki? Are these guys even needed? *sounds confused* You can make your own evil organisation, you know.
14) Henge, real or not?
Let's make things clear here people, the henge is real for EVERYONE! They can turn into inanimate objects, animals, heck even energy! It's the canon!
It's been used in some of the Inuzuka clan's jutsus, by the students, Gamabunta used it to gain 'claws' to help defeat Shukaku, even Sasuke turned into a rasenshuriken, an energy!
If you want to make Naruto's henge THAT special and unique, then USE THE 'UNIQUE' JUTSU, DAMN IT!
Most of you make a big deal over how special it is but you barely use it in anything other than having others being 'amazed' with how 'powerful' it is, or you use it to have Naruto(ko) have lesbian/futa sex with their harem!
A mob chasing our protagonist or interested in 'punishing (raping)' him/her? A 'real' henge later and the mob is massacred by a bigass animal/human/whatever form the henge took, or they don't find Naruto at all because he transformed into a butterfly and escaped.
Orochi is going to hex Sasuke? Naruto 'henge's into a bigass bird, catches his teammates, and flies away!
I have a theory why Kishimoto didn't use the henge for every battle, and it's simple:
The anime/manga is NOT about kaiju battles! If the henge was used every damn battle, then almost all other jutsus are useless!
A coming fireball? A henge later and a mole is quickly hiding underground! Surrounded from every place? a Henge and you fly in the sky! Your enemy keeps healing too fast to be defeated? Just have him forced into a henge as a flame and throw water until the flame gets snuffed!
Yeah, no wonder that most fandom want only Naruto or the Jinchurikis/uzumakis in general to have 'real' henge while everyone else's is an illusion. *thinks deeply* Because if Naruto's henge isn't special, then the entire fandom would probably ignore all the OP abilities that exist and simply make Naruto henge into the most badass and scary form possible and he wins! which is actually boring to write.
For anyone who is interested in making the henge real for everyone in the show, I have some ideas!
_the henge takes a chakra amount proportional to the form the caster takes, meaning; if the form of the henge is much bigger/smaller than the caster's original body then the henge takes more chakra if the form is bigger but it is denser and more concentrated when the form is smaller.
_the damage dealt to the form of the henge appears on the original body, i.e. someone transforms into a dog and loses his 'paw', the henge dispels and his hand is missing.
_use the whole 'the mind is the plaything of the body' concept, if someone stays too long in a human form, nothing happens, but in an animalistic body or by adding extra appendages and the like, the user starts to lose their humanity and starts becoming more animalistic and savage or/and starts becoming more comfortable in their new form. In an inanimate form, the person starts to lose his memories and desires and emotions, forgetting in the end even their ability to talk, understand others and desire to live, meaning; they become empty shells.
you can of course have something that negates/slows down the process of 'humanity regression', like, split personalities, yamanaka abilities or bijuus.
15) OPness does NOT equal instant personality change:
Seriously? Naruto somehow meets a deity/devil/crossover character or/and gains OP abilities then he somehow starts hating orange (or simply hates/stops wearing it)? and he almost instantly starts acting from ' I LUV U SAKURA!' into 'STOP ABUSING ME YOU BITCH! HINATA-HIME IS MY GODDES AND MY TRUE SOULMATE!'?
At least make a few days period where he is in denial about the changes and his feelings about/toward them, and making sure that he thinks seriously about it so that he didn't mess up.
16) Hizuren & Itachi:
Stop changing Hizuren from 'I am sorry, I can do nothing *sobbing Hizuren*' when Naruto is being tortured and defenseless into 'I am the hokage and my word is law *Hizuren says with authority while punching a civilian's head from his body*' when Naruto gets OP powers! Seriously, make him either 'strong' from the start or don't have him become 'strong' until his death!
And stop having Itachi kill everyone without any care then turn him into a good guy!
17) Instant OPness is not HARD WORK!:
Naruto becoming OP is not a result of hard work! He was just (seriously) lucky that the person/creature/object that gave him the OP powers came to him first! It could have come to Orochimaru/Sasuke for all someone knows! So don't have Naruto somehow gain 100000000000000 bloodlines thanks to a gift that a goddess of another dimension wanted to give to Naruto's ancentor but was lost in the space-time continium so Naruto was the one to gain her gift, and then have Naruto say "It's just hard work"!*screams*
And while we are talking about multiple bloodlines, please don't give naruto how many OP abilities only to have him use the most OP one alone!
18) No Instant Love:
Stop making Naruto love Hinata or any female really or vice versa, right off the bat!
Love doesn't work that way! Seriously, a girl gives him a flower/pays for his icecream/does whatever and they are a couple 10 seconds later!? *baffled* NO!
And also, just because Hinata 'cared for and/or loved' Naruto from the start, doesn't mean he is going to marry her! You don't marry a woman you don't love just because she 'loves' you right? Then why should Naruto?
19) Genderbending:
No problem with this one, but it's disappointing to simply genderbend a character just for a pairing (fem!Haku? anyone?), and it's a little stupid that fem!Sasuke gets loved and pampered by Naruto while male Sasuke gets bashed.
20) No Instant Friendship:
Writers, stop turning Naruto(ko) and Kurama into BFF right off the bat!
I mean seriously, it's KURAMA! The entity who lived for centuries with the ability to feel negative (and possibly positive) emotions! Kurama wouldn't care that his host is becoming the village's sex toy or punching bag or whatever! He had probably felt centuries' worth of feelings of being betrayed, raped, enslaved, tortured from all the humans he met or were too close for him to NOT feel their feelings! And you want to tell me that a single brat who, wether their life is actually gruesome or not, is going to turn him from a monster who hates the humans into a big softie?
Also, putting a pair of tits won't make 'her' care for the jailor as if they were her baby/lover! *rolls her eyes* She'd rather trick them into coming to her then quickly kill them and becomes free! Kurama lived for centuries! The life of a single child means nothing for an entity like him.
21) Is the normal clone necessary or not? Make your decision clear!:
Naruto failed because of the normal clone, okay, we accept that. *holding her anger* But why are you still making Lee pass without any ninjutsu or genjutsu?! *frustrated* Either make Naruto pass without the damn clone or have Lee fail!
Or, add another requirement, like descipline, respect, theory aspect of being ninja and attention in class, because those will easily explain why Naruto actually failed!
*gets enlightement*
Or you better not, since in that case only Sasuke/Hinata/Neji/Shino seem to have the necessary requirements to graduate that way, apparently.
22) Stop mixing your character's canon personality with OOCness without any care for results!
Don't make Hinata so shy as in the canon AND have her as a pervert who enjoys peeping at Naruto's dick! It's contradictory! A girl that shy won't be able to even think of peeping at her crush like that! And inversely, a girl THAT perverted won't be such a stuttering mess, but she will start chasing Naruto to have his kids, you morons!
And Naruto won't let the mob beat him! He is too stubborn to listen to them and their excuses, it's even clear in canon! He refused Sakura's confession to stop chasing Sasuke because he's too stubborn to give up! If you want his 'never give up!' schtick to be with him from birth then he WON'T give the mobs satisfaction by whimpering in fear! He'll freaking beat the hell out of them!
Don't make any character act like her canon self and then add some OOCness out of thin air, and/or mix the two together, period!
23) Is Naruto a ninja or civilian?
Fanfic writers, if Naruto is a ninja as you say then why the hell is he being beaten black and blue by the mobs?! He can outsmart the ANBU, no problem, but is too dense to realize why he is hated even though he is a 'genius'? And not fast enough to escape said mob? If anything, he is supposed to be able to beat everyone of the mob (except ninja from chunin and above, at the very least) with little to no difficulty after he was, like, 3 years old, and evade them as well! *annoyed at the apparent stupidity*
24) Crossovers
No, just no; Just because there's a blond boy with blue eyes and is named Naruto in the Gundam/Bleach/whatever universe, it doesn't make it a Naruto crossover!
And also, check the power level differences between the two worlds for the love of god!
II) Ideas:
These are just ideas on how to make things more interesting, because I haven't seen many people taking them, but maybe I just didn't look hard enough, take a look:
_take a realistic outcome about abuse and double standards or anyone's actions really, I guess that if written well could make the story more interesting, having characters deal with their problems and traumas and the results of their actions, good or bad, and growing up in general.
_use underdeveloped plots and give them a meaning, as an example: the Uzumakis, we don't really know a lot about them other than some of their talents and abilities. Develop their personality, give them something, make them insane, calm, carefree or even a bunch of self-centered depraved sadists who care only about themselves and each other to the point of death, while everyone else is manipulated or enslaved by them! (Naruto must be included as well, after all if his clan is psychotic yet he is as nice as hell then that defeats the whole clan setting), something!
_try to not give your OC an impossible charisma and power at the same time, that's an automatic Mary Sue/Gary Stu, give them a glaring flaw/problem if you want, I don't care if it is mental/physical but they need to have something that others might/would not like in them (not just the 'bad guys', but everyone except probably their family and best friends).
_If you dislike a character, there are better ways to use her more than mindless bashing to show that you protagonist has the biggest dick or breast size in the story, bash them in a good way, and have them grow and fight to correct their flaws to be a better character...either that or just kill them and don't bring them in the story at all!*laughs loudly*
_develop the underdeveloped relationships between characters, as an example Naruto and Iruka, how they started being close to each other, have Iruka actually get a role in Naruto's development, like actually hepling him in his studies, in the chunin exams or punishing him for his pranks or being lazy or bratty, show that the characters care about each other that they will hurt their friends/ loved ones to help them grow if necessary!
_use the different character interpretations for your advantage! As an example, and a funny one, have Naruto, as a 6 years old, gain a weird relationship with another female of his age! have them 'punish' each other, by a spanking as an example, helping each other correct their attitudes and flaws that way and making them grow and care more about each other! They are children, and if both were orphans and no one was there to supervise them then they won't know that it's 'wrong' but think that it's a game or something, especially with their age and how Naruto is supposedly highly eccentric. Take the character's age and viewpoint to make a good plot!
_have Naruto end up with some serious consequences for his choices! I mean, yeah this is fanfiction but honestly, he should have some of his habits beaten from him! His barsh and bold attitude for one, you can't simply go without any plan, and if you do that in reality, then people won't want to work with you! They won't be like 'that knucklehead!' and keep befriending you! Especially since that attitude could kill you and your allies! And without plot armor...
Illusion looks at the audience.
A serene smile on her face.
"Well, this is the end of our rant, for now at least. I hope that you enjoyed the topics and ideas that we discussed to you and I hope that you will keep enjoying this story. See you in another chapter! Don't be strangers!"
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The End.