Plagiarist 8
"Holy shit!" one of the henchmen screamed. "It just ripped the Boss' throat out!"
"Fuck, we need an ambulance!" another one screamed.
The fighting petered out as the thugs gathered around their fallen boss, allowing The Cat to herd the big cats back into their enclosure.
"Dammit," The Cat cursed, as she saw Two-Face lying on the ground clutching his ruined throat as blood poured from between his fingers.
"What's wrong?" Xander asked.
"One of the cats took out Harvey's throat," she replied agitated.
"And?" Xander asked, not seeing the problem with there being one less killer in Gotham and surprised she cared.
"When they investigate his death they'll discover one of the cats killed him," she explained. "God only knows how many they'll put down to make sure they got the right one."
"Oh," Xander said, racking his brain for a solution. "I got this," he said, pushing between a couple of thugs to kneel next to the dying criminal. He touched Harvey's forehead with two fingers, spawning a clone. The clone looked on as his progenitor grew still, his mind tightly connected to Xander's affecting his personality, but not his insanity.
"Boss?" one of the men asked nervously.
"Get the suit off me," Two-Face's naked clone ordered. "We'll dump the body in Killer Croc's Lagoon. Move people, I don't pay you to sit around!"
A couple of thugs quickly scrambled to strip Harvey's corpse so the clone could get dressed.
"And the cats?" one of the henchmen asked.
"I seem to have lost my taste for this caper when they gained a taste of me," Two-Face's Clone replied, drolly. "Everyone back to the safe house, we'll come up with a new scheme there."
Xander watched as Two-Face's Clone dressed in his blood stained suit, the original's naked body carried off by a couple of departing henchmen. The clone looked a bit fitter than the original, but he carried all of Two-Face's scars, even if they looked smoother and less jagged.
"I'd no more quit the biz than he would," the clone told Xander, once all his men had left, before Xander could say anything.
"How about concentrating more on money and less on muscle?" Xander suggested hopefully, his right hand moving on its own to take a golden coin out of his pocket and tossing it to the clone.
Two-Face's clone flipped it in the air before catching it and slamming it down on the back of his other hand revealing the smooth unlined face of a young girl. "That's doable," he agreed, before turning and walking off.
"Well, that happened," The Cat said as they watched the new Two-Face vanish after his men.
"Yeah, it did," Xander agreed, a seed of an idea beginning to form in his head as he considered what had just happened.
"Let's go hit the Lions and Cheetahs while we have a chance," she told him. "If we have the time, we'll hit the Hyena enclosure on our way out."
"Hyenas?!" Xander exclaimed.
"They may look canine but they're actually feline," The Cat assured him as she pushed him towards the lion exhibit.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"You look like you got mauled by a tiger," Pat said as he entered their motel room, his clothes torn and bloody, though his skin was unmarred.
"Good guess," Julie said as she closed the door behind them.
"I need a shower," Xander said with a sigh.
"I'll - fuck!" Pat cursed. "Can't get my bandages wet. I'm going to be useless for weeks."
"Just days," Xander told her. "I have a plan."
"Is it a cunning plan?" Julie teased.
"Boneheaded, stupid and insanely dangerous," Xander said cheerfully, "but it'll work."
Jo pulled him towards the bathroom. "Shower first."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"So what's the plan for today?" Pat asked as she sipped her coffee.
"I want to kill off and replace the Joker and a few other local crazies with ringers," Xander announced, causing all three of the women at the table to look at him as if he were crazy.
"Hear me out," Xander said. "I know of someone who has the skills and knowledge to pull it off... except for the clone part, which is where I come in."
"Who ... Batman?" Julie asked. "Are you planning on cloning Batman to help you with this?" she guessed.
"Fuck no," Xander said. "I'm cloning someone much more dangerous."
"Who the hell is more dangerous than Batman?" Jo demanded.
"Alfred Pennyworth," Xander replied.
"Bruce Wayne's butler?" Julie questioned, pretending she didn't know Batman's secret identity.
"Alfred Pennyworth is no mere butler," Xander disagreed, "he's ex-SAS and has in-depth knowledge of everything that goes on in Gotham. The difference between him and Batman is that Batman wouldn't use a grenade to soften up a room before leaping in the window."
"If he's all that, why is he playing butler?" Pat asked.
"He may be called a butler but his actual job is way more than that," Xander explained. "He's the mind behind Wayne Industries. He kept it running while Bruce Wayne was a child and is largely responsible for its continuing success while Wayne is off partying."
"He's also very loyal to his employer," Julie pointed out, wondering how to dissuade him from risking Batman's wrath.
"I'm counting on that loyalty," Xander said. "Once he learns what I'm doing and why, I'm pretty sure he'll volunteer to lend a hand."
"Then why clone him?" Pat asked.
"Because it gives him plausible deniability in case we can't keep it quiet," Xander explained. "He's also gotten on in years, so a younger clone would be much more physically capable."
"And if he says no?" Julie asked.
"Then I come up with a new plan," Xander said. "This plan kinda relies on him."
"Alright," Julie said, relieved he seemed to have a somewhat realistic view of his chances.
"Now, does anyone know where I can get an egg sized chunk of kryptonite, preferably cut in the shape of a gem?" Xander asked.
The three girls just stared at him for a moment, completely speechless.
"I'll just ask Alfred," Xander decided and returned to eating his breakfast.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Do you remember how to summon your tools?" Susan asked Willow as they walked through the wrecking yard.
"Kinda... it's a bit fuzzy," Willow admitted.
"I know how that is," Susan said, "when Xander first cloned me from you, I got all our personal memories loud and clear until the Halloween spell kicked in and overwrote them with my Builder self, so now I can only vaguely remember our Sunnydale self."
"So you remember being me the way I remember being a Builder?" Willow asked.
"Exactly," Susan agreed. "This just means that while I may have to re-teach you everything, you'll probably pick it up pretty fast."
"What do I do first?" Willow asked eagerly, as they reached the car crushers and its stock of cars compressed into cubes.
"First you materialize your tools," Susan said, brushing an errant strand of green hair out of her eyes. "Just hold out your hand and will it."
Willow tentatively held out a hand and focused her will on it. Sparks of light started gathering in her hand, until, with a flash of light, they turned into a jewel encrusted golden hammer.
Susan laughed. "Try that again, but think basic hammer, unless you want your tools to look that tacky?"
Willow flushed and the hammer dissolved to reappear a second later looking like a more normal carpenters hammer, if one having a line of silvery runes down one side that spelled out Xander's name in Tolkien Elvish. "Better?" she asked.
"Now that, I like," Susan said with a smile. "If you check your reserves, you'll notice they've just taken a big hit. To refill them, simply take your hammer and hit the block of metal next to you while thinking about deconstructing it."
Willow carefully struck the block of metal next to her and it exploded into a massive shower of rainbow sparks that were quickly sucked into her skin with the sound of ringing bells. "Cool!"
"And rather showy," Susan said, trying not to laugh. "Try it again, but this time how about a little less pyrotechnics since we are in public?"
"Sorry," Willow apologized.
"In a very real way, I'm you," Susan reminded her. "So everything you do I've likely done as well. I mean who doesn't love fireworks and bling? You just need to save it for when we aren't in public."
"Okay," Willow agreed, perking up and feeling much less embarrassed.
"Except for the runes however," Susan said thoughtfully. "I never considered doing that. You are going to have to show me where you got the design, it's beautiful."
"You only have vague copies of my memories," Willow remembered, "meaning my favorite books and movies are ones you've never actually read or seen. We'll have to fix that."
"After training," Susan agreed. "Now let me explain how to calibrate your head up display..."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I can't believe we had to go on every ride so you'd have the blueprints," Buffy said, as they exited Disneyland. "That is one crazy power."
"You didn't have fun?" Amy asked with a pout.
"No! I mean yes, I had fun, though riding some of the children's' rides were embarrassing," she admitted.
"Never let a little embarrassment stand in the way of a good time," Amy told her firmly.
"A good time?" Buffy asked. "Wait a second. Did we really need to go on all the rides?" she asked suspiciously.
"Nope, all I have to do is glance at them," Amy admitted cheerfully. "I just wanted to spend some time with someone I care about and who looked like they could use a little fun."
"Oh," Buffy said as she considered that. "Put like that it's okay. It has been nice to get out and relax."
"Good, now where would you like to go for lunch?" Amy asked.
"Some place where you can order from a clown's head," Buffy said perking up.
"Really?" Amy asked surprised. "I always figured you for a more expensive date."
"And if you were a teenage male trying to get into my pants I would be," Buffy assured her.
"Good thing I'm a girl then," Amy said cheerfully, "Let's go meet the Cordelias and then lunch."
Typed by - Sitheus Maximus / Ipsith