Author's Note (Monster): Enjoy

Danny's POV

"You awake?"

The voice of Funny Man, stern. He was trying too hard to hide how scared and insecure he was. I didn't move. No sign of life. My back was turned to him. His eyes prying into my back. He let out a sigh. "I just want some answers, Danny."

"To what?" I asked, but it came out way more venomously than I intended. In my head I saw him recoil. He bit his lip. "What are we?"

"Humans. Men. You're gonna have to be more specific", I answered.

He put a hand on my shoulder. It was burning holes in my skin, in the void. The blackness that was swallowing me whole. I shut my eyes tightly.

"Is thing an exclusive thing now?"

"You're a virgin. I've got nothing to be afraid of if it's not", I bashed and turned to him.

He took the bullet and nodded lightly. "So first you do the thing you did backstage and the~"

"Did what backstage? God, Funny, you're such a virgin! Say it already. The handjob & blowjob!"

He averted his eyes when I obviously looked at him. "Why are you so cold to me now?"

I didn't reply. The more he spoke, the more I felt the void expand in my chest. No, I didn't have a heart. I had a void. A place that would occasionally suck me in when I dared to think I was anything more than a pioneer. As if my life had any purpose except bearing my baggage and toying around with my dominant position. Don't let them see. Don't let them see how weak you can be. No one may ever see you crumble. That's the best advice anyone's ever given to me.

Funny Man was visibly upset. His shoulders hung low. He was teary eyed as if he'd start crying as soon as I said a word again. He wouldn't. He may whine a lot to me, but he'd never let me see him crying. He didn't want me to have such dominant position over him. "That's it then? You're shutting me out."

Don't let him in or you'll never get him out again. Some memories haunt you forever.

He shook the thought off and set his dark eyes on Funny Man again. "Don't whine. It's not attractive."

"I don't care if I'm not attractive! I don't want to be your toy! I want to be your significant other", the Mexican snapped.

My significant other? There's no such thing. I was the spare part of a puzzle. Every puzzle piece had another piece fitting him. I didn't. I was a spare part, made to confuse puzzle pieces about their spot. "I'm not your significant other."

"You are. Else I wouldn't have fallen for you after that one kiss."

"You didn't. You think you did."

"Don't treat me like a virgin!" he screamed at me, his voice low and dangerous.

Luckily the others went to a bar, leaving me because they thought I was asleep and Funny Man had told them he didn't want to come along. Instead he had chosen this moment to come talk to me.

I sat upright, the void climbing upright with me. "What do you want me to do?"

The Mexican glared at me, a mixture of confusion and longing. He gritted his teeth, ready to strike me down and hurt me severely because that was what he wanted. He wanted to hurt me so badly because I was turning his whole world upside down. I didn't blame him. I braced myself for the blow, but it didn't come. Instead I heard him say: "I want you to hug me again."

I looked at him, feeling sympathy out of all things. The void would swallow it for me. I waited for it, but it didn't swallow the sympathy. Instead it fueled it. Go ahead, think he wants to understand you.

He looked at me expectantly. "Just hold me again like you did in that building."

The pity in my void became unbearable so I opened my arms invitingly. "Come here."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, almost cutting off my air, but leaving enough room for me to breath. He held me tightly, rubbed his nose into my neck. I wrapped my arms around his waist, lifted him into my lap. I had to be dominant over him. I had to be. The submissive position is for the weak, remember that. If you're ever a uke, you might as well let him give you food out of a bowl.

I pushed the memory into the empty spot in my chest in order to make it disappear. "Why do you want a hug so bad?"

"Because when you hugged me back there, I felt safe with you."

Of course. Security replaces insecurity. He just needed to feel safe with me and he wouldn't have to think, worry, ponder about anything. We remained like that for a while.

No words were spoken, but it felt emotional. Would he understand what had happened to me back then? No, he wouldn't. I can't ever think anyone would understand what had happened to me. No one would. The others never did. I shoved the thought far away in my mind and enjoyed the moment. Now would've been a perfect moment for me to initiate his first time, but I didn't want to.

It wouldn't feel right. It would feel like I was manipulating him. Wasn't I already?

"Why are you so deep in thoughts?" he whispered.

I shrugged, lied us both down and cradled him in my arms like a protective shell. "Just thinking about a lot of shit. Don't worry about it."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm making a huge mistake?"

"Because you're falling for me", I whispered into his hair.

I felt him nod against me. "I am. I'm falling in love and it's scaring me."

"Have you never been in love?"

"I've been attracted to people. I've had a small crush or interest, but I never loved a girl or a guy", he explained.

What had I done? How selfish of me to trick this sweet, innocent man into falling in love with me. He shouldn't love me. It would only lead to a horribly broken heart. I nuzzled his head. "It's ok. I won't do anything you won't like."

How could I lie to him like that? If he was falling for me, then I'd do something he'd hate. I wouldn't love him. I never would. I couldn't. I won't allow myself because if I love someone, they'll disappear and then the void in my chest will grow.

I can't love. Never. Not even this beautiful rarity.

He looked me in the eye. "This is exactly what I wanted you to do."

"What?"

"Make me feel safe."

"Don't you feel safe without this?"

He hummed and scooted closer to me as if trying to combine our bodies as one whole again. He couldn't. I was a spare part, not a puzzle piece. I kissed his forehead. Don't lie to him, the remains of my heart shouted.

Instead I kept holding him and he fell asleep not much later. He didn't hear the guys coming home. Charlie smashed the door open. "Gooood night Hollywood Undead fans! This is the anchorman of . I am proud to announce we've got new footage on Jarlie!"

A smile crept upon my face. Johnny had made out with Charlie again when he was drunk and Charlie seemed proud about it. Johnny walked in after him, obviously shitfaced. He swung an arm around Charlie's shoulder and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Let's go to bed."

"Yeah, but separately", Da Kurlzz mocked.

J-Dog chuckled. "Nah, let them have fun. Besides, look at Funny Man."

I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep since I didn't need them asking me questions about our position.

Charlie awed. "They are my new OTP."

"Only you would read our own fanfiction", J-Dog expressed in disgust and made the bandana rapper laugh. He wrapped an arm around Johnny. "Let's go to bed, baby."

The blue masked rapper nodded.

"Good luck. He's on the top bunk so you'll have to haul him up there", the drummer laughed.

Charlie dropped him on the couch. "Done. Let's go to bed."

"Do you really think Danny and Funny are cute together?" J-Dog asked.

The bandana rapper hummed affirmatively. "I think Funny needs someone he can trust and I think Danny is the most trustworthy person he'll find."

My throat tightened. How wrong are you, Charlie.

Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!