Author's Note (Monster): Enjoy

Funny Man was awake. He couldn't sleep. Somehow his mind kept wandering to his boyfriend. What an amazing feeling it gave him to call him his boyfriend. He smiled into his pillow. Danny was his boyfriend. His and his alone. The smile quickly melted when he was reminded of the whole day. Their first day together had been a disaster. It was his own fault. He shouldn't have pried.

He gazed at the closed curtains of his friend's bunk. "Danny?"

The singer didn't reply. He closed his eyes again and tried to sleep but he couldn't. Normally he'd be snoring by now. He gazed at the clock. Two a.m. He suddenly heard a soft noise. He widened his eyes and jumped out of his bunk. No, he wouldn't let it happen again. He climbed up the bunks to Danny and caught him writhing in an attempt to get away in his nightmare. He didn't care if Danny didn't want to see him for 24 hours. He didn't want him to spontaneously disembowel again.

He shook Danny softly. "Danny?"

He shook harder. "Danny!"

The singer jumped awake, head hitting the ceiling. "Fuck!"

His shirt was wet because of his sweat and clung to his perfect body. Funny Man wrapped his arms around him tightly. "I'm so sorry!"

Danny's mind was still sleepy so he blinked a few times before he processed where he was. "Funny?"

"I'm sorry I didn't stay away from you but you had a nightmare and I didn't want you to wake up alone!"

The singer entangled his fingers in his hair. "It's fine."

"No! Please, I'll do any-… What?"

He looked up surprised at his boyfriend. "You don't mind?"

Danny ran his fingers through his damp hair. "I'm happy you woke me up. My dream was taking a wrong turn. You got me out before anything could happen."

The Mexican smiled, pushed him down and placed himself against his chest. "I missed this. Please hold me."

The singer chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. "You missed hugging me?"

"I missed you. I know it's stupid and I know I'm whiny but please, don't break up with me because of that. Please, I know you can handle me."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Of course I can handle you and I'm not dumping you. Take it easy, will you? Like I said, I'm not sure what this is."

"It's a relationship", the other offered hopefully.

"Not a normal one", Danny replied, crushing his hopes.

The other glared. "What do you mean by that? Are you just using me? You know I'm falling so hard for you and I know you like me too. Why can't it be a normal one?"

"Funny…"

"Why can't we be close like other couples?"

"…"

"Why can't you trust me?" Funny Man cried out.

Danny closed his eyes. "I'm already moving my boundaries by agreeing to a relationship. Don't push it."

"I am pushing it", the Mexican hissed. "I am pushing it because I know I deserve better than something unstable like this."

"Enough!"

Funny Man shut his mouth, his eyes desperate and his arms wrapped around him tightly so he wouldn't be able to escape this time. "I just want you to trust me because I trust you too."

Danny licked his lips and stared at the roof. His head molding his thoughts. "You trust me?"

"I do!"

"How much do you trust me?" the lead singer asked.

Funny Man pulled himself up and kissed him softly. "Enough to…"

Danny pushed him off gently and pulled his knees up. "I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I'm sorry but I can't do any of this. I don't like you."

"What?!"

"I don't like you", Danny repeated. The void inside of him expanded and ate away all pity he could possibly feel. His sympathy was turned to the lowest point but still, he couldn't keep himself from feeling a hole in his chest. "I don't like you. I've got a thing for innocence and you were just such a naïve innocent guy when we found out you were a virgin. I just had to have you. I can't do it anymore. I can't put myself out there just so I can sleep with you."

Funny Man opened his mouth and closed it again. "No, no, no, wait. We can stay the way we were. Please, Danny, don't close the door on me. Please."

Danny took a deep breath. "But I don't like you."

"You can learn to like me."

The singer shook his head. "I'm done playing with your feelings, Funny. I'm sorry. It was a bad idea but I'm a bad person. You shouldn't have trusted me."

"So that's it? After a day you dump me?"

"We were never really together. I just said we were to make you happy but I can't be in a relationship with someone I don't love", he said. His words felt hollow and his stomach rolled over. He couldn't be with someone he didn't love but he had done worse in his life. He fought the horrible feeling in his guts and managed to give him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

Funny Man dropped his jaw. "That's it?"

"That's it."

The Mexican got up. "So your true intentions were always sleeping with me?"

"Yes", Danny said, the black hole in his chest shouting different things at him. He ignored it. "I don't love. I'm the symbol of hatred."

"What are you saying?"

"I can't love anyone and I won't. I will never love you or anyone else", Danny said.

Funny Man put up his hands. "Enough. I don't have to hear this shit. I'm gonna go back to bed and in the morning you better find yourself a better excuse."

He got out and got into his own bunk again. He turned his back to the singer and leaned his head against the wall. How could he do this? He was so confused. He didn't know what to think.

Did he mean what he just said? His breathing became erratic as he felt betrayed, angry and sad at the same time. He made him fall in love with him only to break his heart immediately. Who does that kind of thing? Funny Man bit his lip harshly to keep the tears from escaping. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't cry for that monster. Not anymore.

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