Author's Note (Monster): Enjoy

Heartbeat.

You worthless piece of shit.

You think anyone cares about you? What a joke. Get down.

Heartbeat increased. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

You think you're better than me?

"No, please."

I'll show you respect.

"Don't hit me."

His eyes shot open. Just a memory. A sinful, horrible memory. Danny took a deep breath. Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale. Heartbeat decreased. He shut his eyes tightly. Just a nightmare. Just a memory. He's gone. Out of your life. He vaguely felt a pressure around his waist. Only then he noticed breathing in his neck. He shot upwards and hit his head against the roof of his bunk. He looked down, ignoring the numbing pain in his head.

Funny Man stared at him, dazed in sleepiness but he had felt the sudden absence of his warmth in his arms. "What is it?"

"Nightmare", Danny replied hoarsely. "Don't hold me like that. It's not good for me."

"Danny", Funny Man said. He sat up and wanted to wrap his arms around his…boyfriend? He didn't know but he sure hoped he was his boyfriend. "Do you want to talk about the nightmare."

"Don't talk down to me", Danny snapped. The Mexican let the snarl slip. Of course his beloved had to put up spikes to protect himself from getting hurt. After all he'd been through a ton of shit. Funny Man kissed his cheek and put his arm around his own shoulders. "Then hold me."

The singer showed a hint of a smile on his lips before he shifted and took Funny Man into his lap. "I should be honest with you."

"About?"

"I feel horrible because I told you."

The Mexican nested his head in his neck. "What?"

"Because I bared my soul to you. I can't make myself vulnerable. Not again."

Funny Man reached out to cup his chin. "It's fine. You'll always be dominant over me. I love you and you'll be the first to claim me. That's a vulnerability I'll be giving you in return for your secret."

The singer entangled his fingers in the other's hair. "Don't say that. I don't want to take it. I want us to share the moment. Something I was unable to do."

Funny Man took a deep breath. "Should we go back to sleep now? It's sorta two am."

Danny grinned. "We should."

"Lie down", the Mexican said and his boyfriend complied. He lied down on his back, letting the other find a spot with his head against his chest. "Good night."

"Good night."

But Danny couldn't sleep anymore. He couldn't. Insomnia was a bitch to him. Instead he was left to stare at the top of the head of his beloved Mexican. He blinked a few times, staring into the darkness of their bunks. How many sleepless nights had he spent staring in the dark? He had lost count.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, nose nuzzling the other's hair. His scent was different. Of course it was. Funny Man wasn't him. He was gentle, sweet, caring, funny. So was I before I turned sour, you naïve piece of shit. His eyes open again. Stop talking to me, you asshole, you can no longer control me.

Are you sure? Isn't it almost time for me to be released? I think it is.

Heartbeat sped up once again. He shot up and out of bed. Funny Man was roughly awoken by the other's movements. He groggily got up. "Right when I fell asleep again!"

The singer paced back and forth nervously, pulled out his phone and quickly looked through a few things. He was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. The Mexican became serious, got up and walked up to him. "You ok?"

"Do I look ok?" Danny grumbled, still glued to his phone as if it were magnetic. "He'll be released soon. He was right. I can't escape."

"Danny?" Funny Man asked, scratching his hair. "Who?"

"Who do you fucking think?! Santa!"

"What?"

"That horrible asshole will be freed soon. He'll come find me. He'll drag me back like he used to."

"You're not making sense."

"Do you know what he used to do if I tried to run?"

"No?" Funny Man reacted in a small voice. The other's eyes were wide and full blown psycho but somehow he felt like he was about to hear one of the most horrible truths of his past.

"He dragged me back by my hair. He fucking threw me out the window once!"

"What?"

"Yeah! Our apartment was a story high. I fell nine feet down to the concrete. I almost died! But our happy hero came to visit me every day with flowers and he always told the doctors how much he loved me so as soon as I awoke, the doctors would've never believed me if I said he threw me out of the window!"

"Danny, calm down!"

The singer pointed a finger at him. "Don't you fucking tell me what to do!"

The Mexican smacked him across the face. "Snap out of it!"

Danny blinked a few times baffled. "Did you just hit me?"

Funny Man nodded. "You're scaring us."

Us? The lead singer only now noticed he had screamed the whole bus awake. His words stuck in his throat. They knew. They know now, you fucking whore.

"I'm sorry", Danny said, regaining his strength. "It's nothing. Go back to bed."

"What's this all about?" Charlie whispered to Funny Man.

He's going to tell them. Again you've been betrayed, Danny.

Stop it.

"It's just a lovers' quarrel. Go back to bed."

"You guys sure fight a lot", Johnny yawned as he walked back to bed. Danny lowered his gaze. "You didn't tell them."

"Of course I don't tell them, you moron. I told you I'm trustworthy. Are you done making a scene now?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sure, whatever. You can sleep alone for the rest of the night."

Funny Man walked away to his own bunk, back turned towards Danny as he pulled the curtains closed. The singer stood alone in front of the couch. He slumped his shoulders. "I'm sorry…"

Sorry is never enough. I taught you that the hard way. It's just you and me now.

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