Baby You Can Drive My Car:

A/N: This one is for you, Sojie204. I hope you enjoy!

"Are you sure Mama's going to be okay with this?" Lainey asked Tony, not at all believing that Natasha would be remotely alright with her twelve year old daughter driving a car in the middler of Upstate New York.

She had been staying on Tony and Pepper's floor for the past few days because Natasha had been sent on an emergency mission in Budapest. Again.

Make no mistake, Natasha's first choice of a babysitter would've been Steve, but he was being sent on that mission too.

Her second choice was Bruce, but he was too afraid of hulking out in her presence that he didn't even want to take the chance.

So that left Tony or Wanda.

Well, before Wanda was called in on the mission too. She needed the experience and Natasha wanted to be the one to teach her everything she needed to know.

So that meant leaving her only child in Tony's incompetent hands. Fortunately, Pepper lived on the floor and assured Natasha that she would come home to Lainey in one piece.

That was before Tony had decided to teach the kids how to drive. It was a life saving skill, right? It was better that they learn now than later anyway!

Welp, what Pepper didn't know wouldn't kill her.

"Relax. Live a little." Tony nudged her playfully. "Mama's not here and this is perfectly safe."

"Anytime you have Lainey behind the wheel of a car, nothing is safe." Peter piped up from the backseat.

"Oh haha, very funny." Lainey grumbled, not wanting to admit that he was right.

"Do you know what to do first?" Tony asked, ignoring their argument like everyone usually did.

"Turn the key?" Lainey spoke in a 'duh' tone.

"Put on your seatbelt smart-aleck, safety first." Tony responded in the same way.

"My seatbelt is on."

"I didn't ask you if it was on." Tony shot back. "I asked you what you were supposed to do first. So again, what are you supposed to do first?"

"Put on my seatbelt." Lainey mumbled, glaring at Tony.

"That's a strong glare, are you sure you want to drive today? We can always reschedule if your attitude is going to get in the way—"

"—Attitude?" Lainey put a smile on her face. "What attitude? I love you Uncle Tony."

Tony looked at the preteen and smirked, knowing he had won. "She always like this?" He asked Peter jokingly, already knowing the answer.

"Only when she wants something." Peter responded, never looking up from his phone.

"No! I meant what I said!" Lainey defended herself from all this slander.

Okay maybe she had built herself a reputation and maybe she was just trying to get what she wanted, but that didn't mean that she didn't mean what she said.

"Sure." Peter nodded, clearly over it.

Lainey was always such a child. Not in a bad way. She was just so innocent and juvenile that everyone around her had to treat her as such from time to time.

Especially after the trauma Allison had put her through.

That had only made it worse.

But Bruce said that it was okay. It was just her mind's way of coping with it. He said a lot of children her age who have been in similar situations did it and eventually grew out of it once they realized that they were safe and didn't have to do it anymore.

It wasn't the best coping mechanism, but it was a safe one. She could've been doing a lot worse, and she did have some pretty awful days, but Natasha was very patient and always made sure that she was alright.

Peter would never stop thinking about how grateful he was to Natasha for stepping up and literally saving Lainey from that woman who gave birth to her.

Something he couldn't do.

He'd never get rid of that guilt and it ate away at him everyday.

Maybe some part of him knew that it wasn't his fault and he couldn't have known.

But he should've.

He was her protector. He was her brother. He was the one who was supposed to see all the signs, but it seemed like since he had become Spiderman, he couldn't even save the person that mattered most to him (besides Aunt May of course).

And that really tore him up inside.

"Peter?" Lainey's small voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay? I was asking you something, but you looked like you were somewhere else. Where did you go?"

"I'm fine." Peter plastered a fake smile onto his face. "I love you Lainey, you know that, right?"

Lainey furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and shared a look with Tony before nodding. "Sure I do. You show me everyday. Why? Are you sure you're okay? You're not dying, right?"

"No!" Peter verified quickly before she started freaking out. "I just wanted to let you know is all."

"Oh." Lainey visibly relaxed. "I love you too Petey-Pie."

Man, Peter loathed, despised, hated, and abominated that nickname.

But he'd let it go because they were having a moment.

"And you too Uncle Tony."

"I love you too Neonata." Tony smiled gently before turning to Peter. "And I don't hate you Spider-Baby."

"Gee thanks." Peter smirked, knowing exactly what he had meant. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Now can we please get back to driving and leave all this mushy stuff behind us. I feel like running myself over with this car just to gain back my masculinity."

Lainey smirked, but nodded, asking him how to move the car.

"Okay, you're not driving stick, so you don't need to worry much about gears, we'll get to that later." Tony began the lesson. "Turn on the ignition and look around to see if anything is in your way before you pull off."

Lainey did as she was told, but had trouble smoothly stepping on the gas.

The car jerked and the tires screeched as she stepped heavily on the gas and then slammed on the brakes.

"Gently! Step on the gas gently!" Tony cried out as his head nearly hit his head on the dashboard. "Are you trying to kill us?!"

"No!" Lainey shook her head. "Don't yell at me, it makes me nervous!"

"You're driving habits are making me nervous! I'm not even thirty-five yet and you're trying to put me in an early grave!"

"Uncle Tony?" Lainey rested her hands on the wheel.

"Yes?"

"You're way past thirty-five and if being IronMan hasn't put you in an early grave, then me driving a car definitely won't. Pepper might put you in one though."

Peter snorted at the look of horror that etched itself on Tony's face.

"I don't think I like this new you." The billionaire, playboy philanthropist responded, clearly to old for the pout that graced his lips. "The Lainey I know would never threaten me with my CEO."

"I like this new Lainey." Peter grinned.

"I don't." Tony reiterated. "And I'm going to tell Red how horrible you've been to me all day."

"She won't care. She told me to be mean to you."

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Tony rolled his eyes. "Just drive."

Lainey stepped on the gas with such a heavy foot, that everyone's head smacked the back of their seats and the tires screeched on the asphalt before taking off.

"Stop the car! What are you doing?!"

"This isn't much different than driving bumper cars!" Lainey giggled maniacally, swerving on a turn.

"Stop the car! We're gonna die! Tell Pepper I love her and she's always right!" Tony was nearly in tears as he gripped the handle about the passenger door. "Make it stop!"

"Lainey do you want us to die?!" Peter struggled to keep himself upright as Lainey took another sharp turn. "Do women just not slow down when they turn?!"

After a grueling five minutes, Lainey hit the breaks, making Peter smack his head into the back of Tony's seat. "I'll kill you!"

"Get out of the car." Tony breathed heavily.

Lainey giggled, having had loads of fun and unbuckled her seatbelt before getting out of the car. "How did I do?"

"You drive like your mother." Tony's hands shook as he unbuckled his own seatbelt, stumbling out of the car. "You two have it out for me. You do. I'm not going to make it to fifty. This is it for me. My number is up. I've wasted so much time. There's so much I haven't done."

Lainey and Peter shared a look as he got out of the car.

Tony had always been so dramatic.

One day Lainey hid behind the couch and scared everyone who walked by, jumping out and screaming.

She hadn't managed to scare Pepper or Natasha, but she did get a few disapproving looks from Steve and Wanda.

Killjoys.

When it came time to scare Tony, the man dropped everything he was holding and bent so his hands were on his knees as he tried to control his breathing, mumbling something in Italian.

Lainey couldn't speak Italian, but it was close enough to Spanish for her to understand that he was saying something about how he was going to kill her and hide her body in one of his suits.

That plan was way too specific for Lainey's liking, so she ran down the stairs with him following her, jumping straight into her mother's arms, completely interrupting her conversation with Laura who was visiting for the weekend, pretending to have been the innocent party.

"Mama, he's trying to kill me! Ask him!" Was what she said.

"Tony?" Natasha arched an eyebrow and spoke as if she was scolding a child.

"She tried to kill me!"

"That's not true. Mama you know I would never!" Lainey wrapped her arms around her neck. "I'm only twelve!"

Laura guffawed at that added comment, knowing her niece well enough to know that she was attempting to play everyone in the room.

She was a little monster and they all knew it.

But they wouldn't change her for the world.

She livened up their lives.

There was nothing they wouldn't do for her.

Including teaching her to drive illegally.

"You ready Peter?" Tony asked, cutting Lainey's little memory short.

Peter jumped into the driver's seat, smiling from ear to ear, ready to show off what he could do.

He put on his seatbelt, turned the key and pulled off responsibly, not going too fast or too slow.

It certainly bade well for Tony's physical health.

His palpitations came to a stop and he could finally inhale normally, seeing as they weren't about to crash into anything.

It was his fault anyway.

What kind of sensible adult allowed a twelve year old to drive by themselves?

None.

He was an impulsive idiot and as soon as Natasha found out, which she would, she'd maim him and give his remains to Pepper.

"Nice and easy Peter." He tried to push the frightening thought from his mind. "You're doing well."

"Cool." Peter chuckled proudly. He was really good at this.

Maybe he could start driving himself to and from school without having Happy do it.

"Lainey? You okay back there?" Tony asked the child who had become suspiciously quiet in the backseat.

When he didn't receive a response, he turned to look back at her and found her fast asleep, with her head leaning up against the window.

She was in such a deep sleep that her mouth was hanging open and drool was dripping out of her mouth.

She was not a sight for sore eyes.

But she looked so young and peaceful. Like a toddler taking a nap.

"Alright, one more spin around the lot and then we go home." He told the older child.

"She always falls asleep in the backseat." Peter smiled, looking in the rearview mirror. "Can I drive us home?"

"Don't push your luck."

"You guys must've had a busy day." Natasha commented, watching as Peter and Tony piled out of the elevator with Alayna in the latter's arms, still out cold.

"She's a pretty deep sleeper when she wants to be." Tony rubbed the twelve year old's back firmly, just to prove a point.

She didn't even stir.

But she did talk her sleep. "Brakes are left…...gas…...is right…...not fast Uncle...…Tony…...I drive...….like…...Mama…..."

Natasha and Pepper's faces contorted into the very same glare at the very same time, successfully scaring both Tony and Peter.

"What does she mean, she drives like me?" Natasha growled.

"Funny story and I really think you two are going to love it." Tony laughed nervously. "See I took the kids out for a ride and I figured…...why not teach them how to drive?"

"You had my underaged child in the driver's seat of a moving vehicle?" Natasha's glare grew impossibly harsher as she practically snatched Lainey from his arms.

Lainey felt her mother's familiar touch and relaxed into her, her hand finding the arrow necklace she always kept around her neck. "Not…...fast…...Mama's…..gonna be…...mad."

Natasha rubbed her back and shushed her, before turning her attention to Peter. "And you." She watched as all the color drained from the teen's face. "You didn't think to call a responsible adult? Or were you in on this?"

"Uhhhh." The young spider looked to Tony for help, grimacing when all he got was a shrug in return. "You know? I'm really tired too. I think I'll go and take a nap or something." He rushed towards his room, keeping a large, chasmic like distance between him and Natasha.

"Yeah, you better." Natasha snarled dangerously. "You're lucky I have the kid in my arms."

"Oh I know!" Tony raised his arms to surrender. "I appreciate the circumstances and I'm not going to push my luck."

"I've got him." Pepper smiled humorlessly. "You go upstairs."

Natasha nodded, knowing that Pepper would get her point across and made her way to the elevator.

She took her time taking Lainey to her room, trying to make up for the time she was away, finally putting her on her feet to wake her up so she could change into her pajamas.

"Wake up моя любовь. You can't sleep in those clothes."

Lainey whined and tried to push Natasha's hands away so she could lean on her again.

She was so tired, why wasn't her mother letting her sleep?

Wait a minute—

"Mama!" She opened her tired eyes and smiled. "You're home early."

"Mmhmm." Natasha smiled in return. "Missed me?"

"Maybe." Lainey giggled when Natasha ran her fingers over her stomach to tickle her. "Yes!"

Natasha grinned, but stopped so she didn't wake her up too much, she still wanted her to sleep. "Come on, change out of these clothes so you can sleep."

"In the middle of the day?" Lainey scrunched her nose in protest. "I'm twelve, I don't need a nap. I won't take one."

She wasn't going to be forced to take a nap.

Absolutely not.

She wasn't a baby.

"Oh really?" Natasha's smile dropped from her face and was immediately replaced with her 'Mom Look'. "Is that what you think?"

On second thought, maybe it was better to just go to sleep.

Everyone needed sleep right?

"I think I'm tired." Lainey made herself yawn before nearly tripping over her feet to change into her pajamas.

They were Captain America pajamas with a big shield on the shirt and little shields on the bottoms.

Steve thought they were too cute, but Lainey hated them with a passion.

"I'll wake you up in a few hours." Natasha cupped her chin after tucking her in, much to her chagrin. "Sleep."

"Fine, but if anyone asks, I'm doing this because I want to, not because you forced me to. You can't make me do anything I don't want to."

Okay, so obviously Lainey was too tired to realize that she had just lost her mind.

"What was that?" Natasha asked as she sauntered over to the door. "You don't want ice cream for the next month?"

"No Mama!" Lainey sat up and crawled to the end of her bed. "I need ice cream!"

"Ah ah ah!" Natasha pointed a finger at her daughter, making her freeze. "Don't get off that bed."

"But my ice cream!"

"You mean my ice cream." The Russian smirked. "Maybe if you're good and take a nap, you can have a small scoop."

"That's not fair!"

"Приходи беда, давай съедим немного мороженого. Алайна дремлет, и она не должна беспокоить." Natasha allowed the kitten to exit the room before close the door behind her.

"Mama come back! I want ice cream when I wake up!" Lainey threw a pillow at the door, making Natasha laugh. "You can't do this to me! You're really mad at Tony, not me! Don't take your frustration out on me! Mama! You can't leave me here! Don't you love me?!"

After all her yelling stopped, Lainey collapsed onto her bed and sighed.

Maybe she should've just listened and kept her mouth shut.

Hmmph.

Her mother was mean.

"Lainey Bug is dramatic isn't she?" She heard Natasha say from behind the door. "She really doesn't want that strawberry ice cream sundae that I planned on making later, does she? That's okay, we'll share it with Peter."

"Noooo!" Lainey screeched and tumbled underneath her sheets. "I'll go to sleep!"

"See озорство?" Natasha smirked knowingly at the kitten. "I always get what I want."

Neonata - Babygirl

моя любовь - My Love

Приходи беда, давай съедим немного мороженого. Алайна дремлет, и она не должна беспокоить - Come Mischief, Alayna is napping and we shouldn't bother her.

A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you're having a good week! Due to current events, my schooling is now being done online, which has given me plenty of time to write these one shots! So if you have any requests you'd like to make, you are more than welcome to send them my way! Entertain me! :) XOXOXO