I Don't Need Therapy!
"Leave me alone!"
"Lainey, it was just a joke." Peter tried to rectify his mistake before Lainey made a federal case out of it.
All he said was, she looked like a little koala each time she latched onto someone.
He didn't mean anything by it, in fact, he thought she looked cute seeking comfort from some of the toughest people in the world.
But obviously, Lainey didn't see it that way.
"Well it wasn't funny!" Lainey crossed her arms and sent him a dangerous glare. "I'm not clingy! There's nothing wrong with me!"
"I didn't say there was anything wrong with you!" Peter bit back.
"Yes you did! You said I look like a koala!"
"What is it this time?" Natasha asked, coming out of her room with a closed book.
She had been relaxing in her room, reading a Russian book when she heard all the noise coming from the living room.
All she wanted was one day of peace and quiet.
And did she get it?
Of course not!
"He's making fun of me!" Lainey growled, pointing a strong finger of accusation at Peter.
No one had ever seen her so mad.
Her face was all red and scrunched up, and her eyes were watering with tears that she refused to let fall.
But Peter couldn't figure out why she was so upset.
There were times where he had actually insulted her and all she did was laugh and give him the same treatment. Today it seemed as if she was on the warpath for every little thing.
"That's not true! I said you look like a little koala when you hug people, I didn't mean anything by it!"
"Yes you did! You were making fun of me!" The twelve year old launched herself at the older boy.
Peter managed to catch her, but he was so caught off guard by the fact that Lainey had actually, physically attacked him, he fell under her surprise weight.
"What are you doing?!" He tried to dodge the fists that were flying towards his face. "Get off me!"
Lainey ignored him and kept slugging him as hard as her body would allow her to. He wouldn't get away with saying something like that to her.
Never.
She didn't care who he was, she was seeing red.
No one else was in the room except her and Peter.
"Alayna Anuva, get up, now!" Natasha scolded, crossing her arms.
She hoped that that would be enough to snap Lainey out of it, but the child seemed to be so angry, she hadn't heard her.
Either that, or she just didn't care.
"Aunt Nat! Get her off!" Peter struggled under Lainey as she pulled his hair.
Natasha growled and took ahold of Lainey's small waist, and yanked her off of Peter, setting him free.
The poor boy has such a bewildered look on his face, but at least he was calm. He fixed himself without so much as a mumble after he stood back up on his feet.
Lainey on the other hand, was like a wild animal.
She kicked, screamed, and tried to rip herself out of her mother's grip to no avail.
"Stop it. Now." Natasha snarled in her ear, making her stop all movement. "Apologize."
"No!" Lainey refused, glaring at Peter. "Make him take it back!"
"Alright." Natasha took in a deep breath while internally counting to ten, releasing the brunette. "Tell me what happened. Calmly."
"Well, everything was fine at first." Peter started, noticing that Lainey wasn't making an attempt to say anything. "Then I said something that upset her and she started screaming at me, and then she attacked me." He still couldn't believe it.
"What did you say?"
"I said she looks like s little koala when she latches onto people to hug them. I didn't mean anything by it, but she flipped out on me."
Natasha fought not to roll her eyes.
She didn't want to invalidate Lainey's feelings on the matter, but she really felt like that was a stupid thing to react like that to.
"Alayna, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I'll try harder to consider your feelings next time around." Peter apologized sincerely.
Because despite being 'beat up' by a twelve year old, he still felt bad that it was something that he said that made her spin out of control like that.
"Hmmph." Was all he got in return.
"Alayna, do you have anything to say for yourself? Because right now, it's not looking too good for you." Natasha glared at her. "I understand that Peter said something that didn't sit well with you, but that was no reason for you to physically attack him. You know better. Apologize."
"No." Lainey met Natasha's glare with one of her own.
Peter's eyes widened as he realized that he was going to witness Lainey's last moments.
Had she lost her mind? What would possess her to say that?
All she had to do was say sorry and move on.
Now Natasha was probably going to kill her and hide the body.
"No?" The redhead bristled, her annoyance quickly morphing into anger. "No?"
If Lainey wanted to be a rebel, that was fine with her. She'd just never see the light of day again.
And she'd better hope that her room had everything she needed in it, because if she kept this up, she'd never leave it again.
"Leave me alone!" Lainey hissed, not at all caring about how aggressive she was coming off.
"Fine, I'll leave you alone." Natasha nodded. "Go to your room and don't come out."
"No!
Now, Natasha knew this day would come eventually.
She would tell Lainey to do something and Lainey wouldn't want to do it, and then she would act out.
But she had no idea that it was going to be this bad.
It was like looking at an entirely different person.
This couldn't be Lainey.
Not her Lainey.
"Go to your room. Now." She advanced on her, expecting the action to get the preteen to move, but instead, she screamed and crumbled onto the ground, covering her head.
And all at once, the energy in the room changed.
"Don't hit me! I'll say sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She wailed, crawling behind the island stools for protection.
She was trembling like a leaf and her hands were gripping the legs of the stools so hard, her knuckles were white.
"M'sorry Mommy…..." She whispered, afraid that if she was too loud, Natasha might lash out at her.
"No baby." All the anger in Natasha's body dissolved as she knelt down to meet the child's eyes, but Lainey immediately looked away. "You know I would never hurt you. We've talked about this. You're safe here. Nothing is going to happen to you. Can you look at me honey?"
Lainey shook her head, biting her lip so hard she drew blood.
"Miráme por favor cariño. Se puede niña."
And by speaking in Lainey's mother tongue, Natasha got her to look up.
Lainey's face was streaked with fat tears and her bottom lip quivered so fast, her teeth couldn't get it to keep still. Her body was on high alert and Natasha knew that any sudden movements could set her off again.
"Lainey, who's that?" Natasha asked, pointing to Peter, who was still standing near them in a daze.
He'd never seen anything like this and it was scary.
"Peter." Lainey answered softly.
"Would Peter ever hurt you?"
"N…...No."
"Quién soy yo?"
"Mama."
"And would I ever hurt you?"
"No."
"Don't you think you're safe enough to come out of your hiding place?" Green eyes pierced hazel. "It's a pretty good hiding place, but I don't think you need it right now, do you?"
Lainey shook her head and slowly crawled onto her mother's lap, relaxing a bit when the woman put her arms around her.
"You're okay. Everything is going to be alright."
It was in that moment, that Natasha decided that Lainey really needed to see a therapist.
"Stop tugging on my hair." Lainey glared at Owen, a boy in her class.
He had been bothering her all morning, and given the weekend Lainey had, she had little to no patience for these ridiculous antics. There were but so many hair tugs and shoulder bumps she could take.
She and Peter had made up, but she had to go to bed early for her troubles.
It was better than other alternatives she supposed.
At least no one touched her ice cream.
"What are you going to do about it?" He smirked.
"This." The smirk was wiped off of Owen's face when Lainey's fist connected to his nose with a satisfying crack.
Owen hollered as the blunt force from the blow knocked him off his feet as blood flew out of his nostrils. "It was just a joke!" He whined as a nosy crowd began to form. (Haha punny :P)
But Lainey wasn't done yet, she let her anger get the better of her and jumped on top of the boy, still giving him what for.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Lainey felt someone, trying to pull her back, but she paid no attention to them, she just kept punching.
Luckily for Owen, the shock wore off, and he actually began to fight back, managing to clip her in the eye.
And it was just enough to wriggle from underneath her and run away.
Only, he didn't make it very far.
They had been fighting down the hall from the principal's office, so when the entire hallway erupted in a commotion, the Mr. Morita rushed out to see what all the fuss was about.
So Owen, not looking where he was going, ran right into him, spilling some of his nose goo onto the man's shirt and tie.
You wouldn't believe how quickly the halls cleared after that, leaving the two suspects and the principal alone.
"My office. Now."
The two kids reluctantly trudged into his office and flopped down in his chairs, still glaring at one another.
"What happened?"
"She hit me!"
"He started it!" The two spoke at the same time.
"One at a time please." Mr. Morita ran a hand over the stressed features of his face.
He wasn't paid enough for this.
"Lainey broke my nose!" Owen blurted, still holding his bleeding nose.
"I've called the nurse, she should be here shortly." The man explained. "Why did Lainey punch you?"
"Because she's crazy!"
"I am not crazy!" Lainey leapt onto her feet. "Stand up and fight me like a man so I can give you a busted lip to match your nose!"
"Sit down!"
Lainey glared at both the males in the room, but did as she was told. "He had it coming."
"Why?"
"Because he's been bugging me all day!"
"By doing what?" This was like pulling teeth!
"Tugging my hair and pushing me!"
"I understand your frustrations, but you really shouldn't have fought violence with violence."
"So what was I supposed to do?" Lainey questioned. "If you hit someone, you get hit back!"
"Not in this school. You were supposed to go to an adult. Please type in your mother's phone number." Morita passed the landline to the irate preteen.
Hopefully this day didn't get any worse.
"Hi Mama." Lainey greeted the redhead without looking up from her lap.
Natasha took in the scene in front of her and narrowed her eyes.
There was a kid, a little bigger and definitely a lot stronger than Lainey, sitting to the left, holding an icepack to his nose. Blood covered his shirt and it looked like he would have more luck throwing the shirt away than trying to get the stain out of it.
On the right, Lainey was sporting a black eye and a grim look. She knew she was at fault for this stunt, because there were better ways of solving issues.
"Explain."
"She broke my nose!" The boy cried out.
Natasha gently took the ice pack from him and prodded at his nose, making him flinch back and hiss in pain. "It's busted, but it isn't broken. You're going to have a nasty bruise for a while, but you'll be fine."
"That's what the nurse said." He rolled his eyes petulantly. "I still think it's broken."
"Mr. Thompson, please do not pick arguments with adults."
Natasha's eyebrows rose at the revelation of the boy's last name. "Mr. Thompson?" She questioned. "Any relation to Flash?"
"Yeah, he's my brother, why?"
"Your brother has been tormenting my nephew. Now you're following in his footsteps and tormenting my kid?" She growled like a cat that just found its prey.
She looked like one too, with her sharp eyes and rigid features.
"Ms. Rushman, I assure you, there's an explanation for this. You don't know the whole story." Morita interrupted.
"Enlighten me."
"It seems as if Owen has been lightly teasing Lainey and she retaliated by busting his nose. The two got into an altercation, and he gave her a back eye."
"Is light teasing your euphemism for bullying?"
"I just tugged on her hair a little and bumped her shoulder." Owen shrugged.
"Don't ever put your hands on my child again." Natasha pointed at the freshman boy. "She doesn't come here for that. And you." She turned to Lainey. "I've already told you about punching people's light out when they upset you. If he pushed you, I wouldn't have been upset if you pushed him back, but you drew blood. You crossed a line and you're very lucky you didn't break anything."
"I wish I had." Lainey mumbled, not willing to admit her defeat.
"What was that? Speak up so I can hear you."
Lainey shook her head and clamped her mouth shut, slumping down in her chair.
"What's their punishment for this?"
"Well, they're both going to be suspended for the rest of the week."
"Alright, I'm signing her out now. She has an appointment."
"For what?" Lainey snapped.
"Now is not the time."
"I don't need to see a shrink." Lainey grumbled as she was dragged into S.H.I.E.L.D.
"Yeah well, I disagree. Two fights in the span of two days? Either you have an issue, or you're just plain nasty."
"Let go of me." Lainey stopped walking, but was tugged forward.
"You don't want to make a scene. Not in here."
"Yes I do." Lainey smirked and tugged on her arm.
"I will drag you all the way down to that office by your ear if you keep this up. It's a long walk. It's up to you."
Lainey paled at the threat and put a temporary end to her rebellion.
"That's what I thought."
"Whatever." Lainey rolled her eyes, only for Natasha to let go of her arm and grab her ear. "Ow!"
"I wasn't kidding."
"Okay! I'll stop!"
Natasha smirked and let go of her ear, pretty satisfied with her results. "Walk."
Lainey huffed and childishly crossed her arms.
She was clearly annoyed by the barbaric way Natasha had just gotten her to comply and was plotting on ways to get even.
Baby powder in a blowdryer always got a desired effect.
She had done it to Wanda one day, and she had almost strangled her.
The powder went everywhere, but in the end, it didn't really seem worth it, because she had to clean everything up and she had to do Wanda's bidding for a whole week.
If she did it again, everyone would know she was the one who did it, so that didn't seem like a viable option.
She'd think of something. She wasn't going to let all these adults push her around for much longer.
Just because she was small, didn't mean was weak.
Which brings up another good point. Why on earth would her mother want to bring her to see a shrink?
She didn't need to see one! She was fine!
It wasn't her fault that people had been aggravating her more than usual these days. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, Someone always wanted to talk to her, or ask her how she's doing, or try to make her smile. They didn't understand that sometimes she just wanted to be left alone!
Natasha was worried for no reason at all.
Okay, maybe she had a scary outburst the other day, but that didn't mean she needed help. It just meant that she should probably take it easy from now on. She wasn't carrying any trauma.
She was fine. Absolutely—
"Well hello Alayna, I'm Felicity. Your mother has told me a lot about you. Won't you come in and sit down?" A friendly looking woman interrupted Lainey from her thoughts.
She had blonde hair and green eyes. Her voice was calm. Too calm, and her smile was too wide for Lainey's liking.
"Go on." Natasha gently nudged her into the room. "I'll be back in an hour."
An hour? That's how long Natasha expected her to stay in here?
No way.
"And if you're good, we'll stop by that ice cream parlor you like on the way home." The redhead winked.
Lainey sometimes wondered if Natasha could read minds like Wanda.
The only thing that could get Lainey to stay in this place and comply, would be ice cream.
That was a cheap shot.
"You two have fun." She kissed Lainey's forehead softly before leaving. "I love you."
Those three words got Lainey to calm down considerably.
They always did. She loved to hear people tell her they loved her even if she'd never ever admit it.
"How are you feeling today?"
There does that question again!
"Alright." Felicity kept the smile on her face, despite receiving no answer. "Why don't I start? Your mother told me that she's a little worried about you. You've been lashing out at people, fighting, and she told me that the other day, you had a breakdown."
"I did not." Lainey denied vehemently.
It wasn't a breakdown. It was a lapse in judgement. An outburst even.
But definitely not a breakdown.
"How would you describe it?"
"Well...…." Lainey started, looking at her surroundings for the first time. She was sitting in a big comfy chair that practically swallowed her. The room was nice and neat. Not one thing was out of place, but it didn't make her feel like she had to keep her hands in her lap for fear of touching anything. There was a bookcase in the corner, with all sorts of books; children's books, classics, graphic novels, science fiction, every genre Lainey could think of.
But one book in particular caught her eye.
Pollyanna.
"Do you like to read?" Felicity asked her, following her gaze.
"Yes."
"Why don't you go over there and see if you find anything you like?" She suggested, realizing that this might be the way to get Lainey to open up.
Lainey slowly stood up and made her way over to the bookcase and ran a gentle finger across the spines of the books, stopping at Pollyanna.
She had read a long time ago and she remembered exactly what it was about. She always felt a little jealous of how happy Pollyanna always seemed to be no matter how bad things got.
She had always managed to see the good in everything.
And Lainey could only see the bad.
It was so frustrating.
"Have you ever read it?" Felicity asked, motioning for her to grab the book and sit back down.
"Mmhmm." Lainey responded once she was in her seat. "I borrowed it from the school library. I read it one sit sitting, I couldn't put it down."
"What is it you liked about it?"
"I don't know."
"I think you do, but how about you tell me something you didn't like about it?"
"She was so happy." Lainey grumbled, looking down at the book with contempt. "She always had a stupid smile on her face and she always had something nice to say about everything. She played that stupid 'Glad Game' and made everything seem not so bad."
"Why didn't you like that? It seems like a wonderful thing."
"Because no one can be that happy all the time." Lainey scowled. "There must've been something that made her upset. She lost everything and yet, she was sooo happy. It makes me sick."
"Lainey, do you think that you don't like Pollyanna's sunny disposition because you find that you're not happy a lot the time yourself?"
Lainey's head shot up and she looked at Felicity with wide eyes. "I'm happy sometimes."
"When?"
"When I hit Owen Thompson today after he pushed me." Lainey smirked at the memory.
"Lainey, that's not happiness. That's misplaced rage." Felicity corrected her. "That same rage made you lash out at Peter and it's making you snap at others. Can you tell me how you felt after you hit Peter?"
"Good at first, cause I thought he was making fun of me, but then Mama came and pulled me off of him. I knew I was in trouble, so I got really scared."
"Why?"
"Because I knew she was gonna yell at me."
"Has she ever yelled at you?"
"Well…...no, but I never hit anyone before either."
"What makes you so afraid of yelling?"
Now they were getting to the heart of the problem.
"First you start off yelling, then you start hitting."
"Has Natasha ever hit you?"
"No, but I hit Peter." Lainey reiterated.
"So you thought that because you hit Peter, Natasha was going to hit you?"
Lainey nodded sadly and pulled her knees up to her chest, refusing to look at Felicity.
"You said earlier, that you thought Peter was making fun of you. Was he?"
"No, he was only playing, but he made me so mad that I hit him."
"What did he say?"
"It's stupid." Lainey shrugged. "He said that when I hug people, I look like a little koala. It shouldn't have made me react like that, but it did."
"Why were you so upset by it?"
"Because I don't want anyone to stop."
Felicity looked at the small child in front of her and she felt for her.
Natasha had told her everything that had happened to her, and she had to admit that that was a whole lot to deal with for a girl so young.
The first few months since the adoption were great, the honeymoon phase, Lainey wasn't disagreeable and she had absolutely no signs of trauma.
She appeared to be a well rounded individual.
But then time passed and she became more accustomed to her routines and she was more comfortable in her surroundings.
So it was time to test the waters.
That's where the snapping and the fighting were coming from.
She wanted to see what would happen if she were to "mess up" and do something that wasn't normally tolerated.
Something drastic.
In Lainey's case it started with a few eye rolls and foot stomps, then smart comments and defiance, which escalated to physical violence and attacks.
'Stop what?"
"Hugging me." Lainey's voice cracked with a whisper.
"Why would they stop hugging you because of what Peter said?"
"Cause then they'd see that I'm too clingy and they'd think that I'm annoying."
"I see." Felicity nodded. "Why didn't you tell your mother that?"
"I can't!" Lainey insisted. "She'll get upset and she'll think I'm ungrateful!"
"I don't think so."
"She will!"
"Why don't you ask her?" Felicity looked at something behind Lainey and watched as the girl looked in that direction.
"Is that what you think?" Natasha asked, stepping into the room, kneeling in front of Lainey.
Great, she heard.
Now the truth was out and Lainey wasn't going to hear the end of it.
"Lainey?"
"Yes."
"Why? Anything you need, you ask me for, I don't care what it is. That's what I'm here for. I won't ever think any less of you for wanting or needing something from me."
"No?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh." Natasha smirked. "I'd hate to think that a lot of things could've been avoided if you had just come to me from the start. Hmm?"
"Sorry."
"We'll talk more about it later." The redhead winked and stood up. "Why don't you go out to the hall for me? I need to speak to Felicity about something and then we'll go for some ice cream."
"Okay." Lainey zipped up her jacket and went to put the book back before Felicity stopped her.
"You hold onto that and bring it back during the next session. Can you do something for me?"
"Yeah."
"Can you read that book and write down what you can do to make yourself feel better when things don't exactly go the way you want them to?"
"I can do that."
"Good. Have a great week, I'll see you next Tuesday."
"Bye." Lainey waved and left the room, taking in a deep breath.
That wasn't so bad.
And she didn't feel so angry anymore.
"Don't eat it all at once." Natasha joked, watching as Lainey stared at her melting ice cream.
But Lainey didn't take notice of her, she just scooped up the treat and watched it fall off the spoon.
"Lainey?"
"Hmm?"
"What's going on?"
"Nothing Mama."
"Lainey?" Natasha gave her the best 'Mom Look' she could create.
"Did you mean what you said earlier? About me needing things and asking for them?"
"Of course I did. Why?"
"No reason."
"Alayna."
"I'm sorry." Lainey said suddenly. "I haven't been fair to you. I've been really angry all the time and I don't know why and I took it out on you and everyone else…..…especially you.I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset."
"Lainey, can you look at me?" Natasha only continued when she saw Lainey's beautiful eyes looking into her own. "I'm not at all happy with the way you've been…...coping. However, I'm very happy that you feel safe enough to take it out on me—"
"— But that isn't fair to—"
"—No it isn't." Natasha nodded. "Which is why, I set up the appointment, because I know that you're having a hard time and you don't know what to do. I gave you some time to try and figure it out, and I probably shouldn't have waited so long, but you needed help. Felicity told me you have anxiety."
"I do not." Lainey crossed her arms. "Why would she say that?"
"I was the one who brought it up. I figured as much, with everything you went through, but that fight you had with Peter confirmed it."
"Well I don't have anxiety and I'm not going back."
"I have anxiety." Natasha added without threatening to drag Lainey back there by here ear come next Tuesday.
"You do?"
"Mmhmm." Natasha nodded in confirmation. "So does Steve, and Bruce, and Tony. Clint has it too, but he's very very good at coping with it. Admitting you get scared doesn't make you weak. But if you don't talk to us, we don't know what's going on and it just makes everything harder."
"I don't wanna go back." Lainey bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling.
The session wasn't bad, but that didn't mean she liked it.
"I'll talk to you I promise, I don't wanna go back Mommy." A few stray tears fell down her cheeks.
"Come here." Her mother opened her arms and lifted her onto her lap, cradling her to keep her from crying in the middle of the ice cream parlor. "Let me make a deal with you, if you agree to speak to us when something is bothering you, you don't have to go back to see Felicity."
"Really?"
"Really. But I mean it, you have to come to one of us if you're feeling out of sorts. I don't want to find you in the principal's office because you busted someone's nose again."
"Okay." Lainey agreed. "I'm sorry and I'll apologize on Monday."
"I know you will." The Russian pressed a kiss to her cheek, making the girl squeal and try to get away."See I like hugs and kisses too."
"Mama, we're in public! People are gonna look!"
"Do I look like I care? Вас смущает ваша собственная мать?" She dug her fingers in the girl's side.
Natasha had to put a hand over Lainey's mouth to keep her from screeching and disturbing everyone in the establishment. But it didn't keep people from looking and smiling in amusement. As Lainey giggled and tried to wiggle out of her mother's iron grip.
"Okay, okay. You finish your ice cream." She finally stopped and handed her the desert.
"Mama?" Lainey shoved a spoonful of her favorite food in the world into her mouth.
"Yes?"
"I…I….." Lainey tried. "Te quiero mucho Mamá. Gracías por todos."
It was much easier to say in Spanish than it was in English, but it still had the same effect. "I love you." She spoke sincerely now that it was out in the open.
"I love you." Natasha's voice was natural and soothing. "So much. I'd do anything for you, always remember that."
Lainey's day didn't start out great.
Her entire week didn't start out great, but she would relive everything just so she could get to this point.
And one day, one day she would come to realize that the bad things didn't have to happen in order for her to get to the good.
Miráme por favor cariño. Se puede niña - Look at me please, sweetheart. You can babygirl.
Quién soy yo? - Who am I?
Вас смущает ваша собственная мать? - Are you embarrassed by your own mother?
Te quiero mucho Mamá. Gracías por todos - I love you Mama. Thank you for everything.
A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading thus far! Lainey hit a rocky patch in this chapter, good thing Natasha was there to catch her when she fell. (She always will be!) I hope you enjoy reading as much as I do writing! I am officially in quarantine so I have nothing but time on my hands! Send in your requests to entertain me and occupy my time! Your feedback means a lot and i enjoy reading you ideas! Stay safe XOXOXOXO