Dallas, Texas
"Excuse me", silently staring out the car window behind her for a few moments before responding to her revelation with surprise, Bobby's reaction was not unexpected. It had never occurred to Pam to tell him about Ed, because she hadn't thought about him for years, but she understood why he was taken aback now that she had mentioned him.
Counting down in her head, she met his eye and gave him a weak smile, then began to explain herself. "When I was in high school I went on a cheerleading trip to El Paso. It was my first big trip away from home. My daddy was so worried, he insisted on being a chaperone and in hindsight, he was probably right to. Anyway, at some point we ended up across the border into Mexico. I was young, I was excitable and I was inexperienced in the ways of the world".
Setting the scene, she paused to gauge his reaction; he looked about as expected, not happy, but he hadn't growled angry words at her yet, so that was something.
"Go on", matching her weak smile, he encouraged her to continue.
"Well, I met a man and we started talking, he was going overseas, it was my first time away from home, it seemed romantic at the time", filling in the details, wanting him to know that it had been an impulsive, naïve decision rather than something she had planned, she talked around the finer points of the event.
"Pammy", saying her name, Bobby's tone told her he was beginning to lose patience; he wanted the details because she'd dropped big news on him, but he didn't want to be teased with titbits without the promise of the full story.
Thinking about that day, she fell silent for a few moments before finally giving him what he wanted, an ordered account of what had gone on. "It all happened very quickly and then it ended, it was over as soon as my daddy found out, which was about five minutes after we said I do. We had a ceremony, technically we were husband and wife, but it never went any further than that, it never had the opportunity to, the annulment procedure was started almost as soon as the ink on the marriage certificate was dry".
Giving him what he wanted, she felt better having the information out in the open. There was no blame to lay, she'd been young, inexperienced and had made an error in judgement, one she had been lucky to have her family around to save her from the consequences of. If Bobby wanted to get upset that was his problem, as far as she was concerned it wasn't something she needed to apologise to him for beyond not telling him about the situation sooner, though even that seemed a bit of a stretch considering he hadn't exactly been upfront about his previous engagement.
"It was all processed correctly?" querying the end of the story, Bobby made no further comments, which would have been nice had he asked his question in a tone which was more caring than critical.
"Yes, my daddy has the papers at home somewhere", answering, she felt like she was stating the obvious, he probably just wanted to be sure though.
"Good, I don't like the idea of you not being my wife", clueing her in on his feelings, his earlier coolness made a little more sense to her now. He loved her and he wanted her, but if she was already someone else's wife then things were complicated. Luckily, things weren't complicated, because she wasn't married to anyone but him and she had the paperwork to prove it.
"You think I do? Because I don't. I don't much like the idea of your ex-fiancée hanging around either", accepting that they had the same intention, to stay married to each other, she reminded him too that where her past was ancient history, his was making an unwelcome reappearance.
"I know. I will deal with Jenna", sighing, he sounded as if the last thing he wanted to do was be firm with Jenna about boundaries. She wasn't worried about his commitment to her, because she believed he loved her, however, she didn't trust Jenna at all and with her and Bobby's clear affectionate history she didn't trust that she wouldn't use that to her advantage at every opportunity she got, and that was dangerous.
"I'm not sure you should, I think that's exactly what she wants", encouraging the opposite of what she had encouraged earlier, she couldn't be sure her wishes were right, but at the moment they seemed safer. Bobby was a gentleman and she had no doubt he would pick Jenna up if she fell, figuratively or literally, so she saw no reason to encourage further interaction between them than was already bound to happen with Jenna floating around in their circle.
"Maybe, but she left and came back on her own terms, regardless of my feelings; the very least she could do now is respect my wishes", pushing back, Bobby appeared determined to make sure she knew he was serious about telling Jenna to back off, or at the very least to make sure she knew her hands-on behaviour was inappropriate. It was nice that he was so strong-willed, but she still wasn't sure it wouldn't just fan the flames.
"You're right, there's no harm in telling her exactly how you feel, I just don't think it's that simple, because something tells me Jenna isn't the sort of woman who does anything she doesn't want to do, and if she doesn't want to stay away from you, she won't". Agreeing that a clear message might be better than no message at all, she couldn't say she was exactly confident that even a clear message would deter Jenna.
"That's an accurate assessment. Are you sure you've never met Jenna?" smirking, Bobby lightened the conversation.
"No, she's just transparent, easy to read", shaking her head, she pointed out the obvious, at least the obvious to her.
"I'm glad someone can read her", responding in a tone that indicated he wasn't joking, Bobby's comments puzzled her; he made it sound as if Jenna's intentions weren't clear to everyone, but if she wasn't seen as a coquette, then what was she?
"She's a flirt and she's sure to cause trouble just by being back, whether she's back for you or not is beside the point", telling him what she thought, she was prepared for him to disagree, he was blinded by old love, but she saw the truth. Jenna's own recount of her life didn't make it sound as if she was much other than a kept woman, and Bobby was the first to admit he'd felt uncomfortable with her affectionate behaviour now that they were no longer a couple, so surely it wasn't that absurd to think she was beyond using her femininity to her advantage. Whether she focused on Bobby or set her sights elsewhere, her presence was sure to complicate their lives a little.
"Come on, she's not that bad. We all have a past, you've just proved that with your confession", defending Jenna, he brought the conversation back to her confession.
"My past isn't next door", shaking her head, she refused to feel bad about her history, not that Bobby should feel bad about his either, it was just caution was required where Jenna was concerned.
"Speaking of your past, what was the name of this first husband?" twisting the conversation back to her life, Bobby asked a reasonable, but unnecessary question.
"Ed Haynes", giving him what he asked for, she wasn't sure what he wanted the information for, but he could have it, it wasn't a secret.
"Pamela Haynes? I much prefer Pamela Ewing", lightening the conversation again, Bobby's charm reappeared, though she couldn't help but feel some distance between them. He wanted her as his wife because he loved her, she knew that, but she also felt as if everything he had to say about her previous marriage stemmed from jealousy, not love.
"I do too. You don't need to think too hard about it though, we weren't married long enough for me to be Pamela Haynes", confirming she loved being his wife, she reassured him that her first marriage was hardly a marriage at all and he had nothing to worry about where she was concerned.
"You said your daddy has the papers at home?" looking for confirmation, his question revealed his insecurity.
"Yes, do you need to see them?" she really didn't know why he was so bothered by her situation but it was easier to give him what he wanted than to argue about it. Jenna was one issue and Ed was another, they didn't have to be linked to each other, so even though they weren't in complete agreement on Jenna, that didn't mean they couldn't find common ground on Ed and move on from it, she had already done so herself.
"It would make me feel better", admitting what she already assumed, he gave her an embarrassed half smile.
"I understand, I'll see what I can do", going along with his request, she hoped that was the end of it because she was just about done with talking about something that had happened so many years ago and she hadn't thought about for as many years.
Unfortunately, Bobby didn't seem to have the same intentions as her and insisted on asking more questions, starting with the accusatory, "were you going to tell me?"
"Were you going to tell me?" irritated, she threw his question back at him. They both had something to tell, she knew that, but the way he said what he did made it sound as if her news was bigger than his, which it wasn't.
"Honestly? It never really crossed my mind and I'm sorry that it didn't. I didn't think Jenna would reappear and it didn't occur to me to prepare you for if she did, I can see now that that was a misjudgement on my part", admitting he had handled the situation badly and apologising for doing so, he stopped short of apologising for assuming that she would act differently, but it was a start.
"We're on the same page then", accepting his apology, she kept her comments vague, unsure of what else to say to him, they seemed to be going around in circles discussing both issues and until they lived with their new reality and something actually happened, there wasn't much else to say.
"For the sake of transparency, is there anything else I should know?" asking what was probably a reasonable question, Bobby tested her patience again, using a tone that indicated he expected she was hiding something more, which she wasn't.
"No, I don't think so. Is there anything I should know?" giving him what he wanted again, an answer that cleared his mind of worry about her past coming back to haunt them, she asked him to do the same for her and answer the question honestly, it was only fair.
Looking away from her, Bobby appeared uncomfortable at her question, and when he answered her, it became clear why. "Jenna has a daughter, I don't think she's mine, she was born just a little too long after we parted for it to be feasible, but I don't know for sure".
"Bobby!" completely taken aback by the casual delivery of a potentially life changing piece of news, she felt stifled sitting in his car and moved to open the door, though he stopped her before she could get out.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to be honest. Like I said, I don't think she's mine, but nothing is ever certain", trying to explain himself to her, all it really seemed that all he was doing was making himself look worse. She could understand if he had a child with Jenna, but to know that Jenna had a child and it might be his, but not be sure, that she didn't understand at all. How he could live with the uncertainty, especially since he actually wanted children, she didn't know. Even if he hadn't wanted children, if he had one, he had a responsibility to do the right thing, but it seemed he hadn't and wasn't.
"Jenna would know, wouldn't she?" turning the conversation away from his irresponsibility for a moment, she questioned Jenna's role in the situation. She didn't know the details of Jenna's life but if anyone knew who her daughter's father was, it was her.
"I'm sure she would, yes", shyly admitting that Jenna likely did know, she couldn't believe he was still unaware about whether he was or wasn't involved, firstly because it seemed odd that Jenna wouldn't have said something if he was, but secondly because even if Jenna hadn't said something, it didn't sound like he'd ever enquired either.
"Ask", shaking her head, she told him exactly what to do, someone had to, he sure wasn't doing it himself.
"I would, but I don't want to complicate things", excusing his lack of action, he continued to make himself look bad, and in fact, he was starting to lose her respect. She had been afraid of sounding like a hypocrite in her reaction to Jenna while she had an old relationship of her own with a complicated history, however, now that she knew the extent of his history, she felt like she'd come into the relationship with a near blank slate.
"Can't you see that not knowing makes it even more complicated? Either you're not the child's father and that's the end of it, or you are and you're losing time you could otherwise be making something of. Trust me, growing up with an absent parent isn't ideal", reminding him of her own experience growing up, she tried her best to make him see that it was selfish to avoid asking because he was afraid of a complicated situation, it was already complicated, he had to accept it and deal with it.
"Jenna hasn't mentioned it, I think that says everything", making excuses again, she couldn't figure him out, his tone made it sound as if he was sure the child wasn't his, but he didn't and couldn't know that without asking.
"Jenna is manipulative, I don't trust her motives, and guessing is never more accurate than asking", pushing her opinion again, she wished he'd just agree to ask, it was a simple question with a yes or no answer, everything else could be dealt with once they knew.
"I'll ask, when the time is right", committing to asking, he was vague about when he would get around to it, and with that she had had enough.
"You should, for everyone's benefit. Now, if you'll excuse me I think I'd rather walk back to Southfork", reiterating her thoughts, she was quick to act this time, opening the car door, getting out and closing the door behind her in a smooth sequence of movements. They were only a few hundred yards from the house, she could see it not far ahead of where they'd pulled over, so she wasn't making a huge sacrifice, it was more symbolic than anything, but still she needed some time to cool down, so walking it was. Bobby could follow her if he wanted, but she wasn't getting back in his car and he'd do well to consider why.
To be continued…