Dallas, Texas

"The accident put a lot of things in perspective for me; so many things changed in an instant", sitting on the floor in John Ross' nursery, watching him move from toy to toy, Bobby listened to Sue Ellen as she opened up a little more about how she was actually feeling. After days of polite conversation during his lunch hour visits it was nice to feel like they were getting somewhere, even if she was vague in what she said.

"A good perspective shift?" looking at her sitting in the rocking chair watching her son, he had a feeling he already knew the answer because she looked the most at peace he'd seen her since the accident.

"I think so. I had a lot of reservations about the future before, but now I feel I have a clearer vision of what I want and less hesitation about trying to attain it", answering him, she pulled her eyes away from gazing at John Ross adoringly and smiled, leaving him with a fair idea of the direction of her thoughts.

"I'm happy for you", telling her how he genuinely felt, assuming from the information he had that she was referring to her future as a wife and mother, he was happy for her regardless of whether his assumptions were true or not; if she was happy, especially now, so was he.

JR was a lucky man, not recently, but in general; whether Sue Ellen was completely fulfilled by her life as a wife and mother was debatable, however she never seemed to put up a fight against those very things and most enviably at present, seemed to want to continue with living that way. Pam on the other hand, she had priorities and desires that had absolutely nothing to do with being his wife and she had made her feelings about becoming a mother quite clear. He loved his wife more than anything but he couldn't pretend he didn't wish she wasn't so passionate about her job or keeping up with things that only Pamela Barnes would have need to, he couldn't pretend his ego wasn't a little bruised by the fact that their marriage and shared future wasn't the thing that motivated her everyday decision-making.

"Thank you", squeezing his shoulder, she smiled again, coming down to his level to kneel on the floor next to him to accept the wooden toy hammer John Ross was so insistent she take to play with.

Watching his nephew and sister-in-law as they took turns hammering wooden pegs into the corresponding coloured holes, his feelings of longing only grew stronger. He'd been a lot younger when Lucy was born but he'd mostly enjoyed having her around, he'd never had a strong urge to play parent to her but now that he was a grown man, a married man, he felt differently, this time with John Ross. If he could get Pam to spend any length of time with John Ross he hoped she'd feel the same way, but he wasn't confident about that, firstly because she never sounded very interested in deliberately taking time to play aunt, and secondly because her day-to-day schedule was far more structured than his and that didn't encourage spontaneity. Pam had told him that they would have children one day, he just had to be patient, the problem was, patience wasn't something he was very good at, not when it came to things he really wanted.

Looking over at him, Sue Ellen changed the subject, appearing more than happy to talk about something more cheerful than her accident, "enough about me, tell me about you and Pam. When does she go to Paris?"

"Saturday", still not entirely thrilled she was leaving him for a week, he tried his best not to sound too down on the idea. He wanted her to be happy, he just felt like a lot of what made her happy came at the expense of their marriage.

"She must be excited", sounding excited herself, Sue Ellen's enthusiasm surprised him.

"Very. In fact, I'm a little jealous of how excited she is", admitting his feelings, he didn't add that he wished Pam was excited to be going away with him rather than Liz Craig, such comments seemed unnecessary considering she was leaving in two days whether he liked it or not.

Laughing, Sue Ellen was sympathetic, but not too deeply sympathetic as she murmured, "that's understandable".

Stacking a few of John Ross' blocks into a tower, he hesitated to ask her what he was beginning to suspect he'd been wrong about, "you're not upset, are you?"

Looking at him blankly, Sue Ellen sounded genuinely confused by the direction of his thoughts, "about Pam? Why would I be upset?"

"Because she's leaving when you're unwell", explaining where he was coming from, what he had assumed and repeatedly told Pam, this time he wasn't so confident that his thoughts were reflective of the truth.

"Does she think that?" shaking her head, Sue Ellen answered his question with a question.

"Is it true?" assuming from her tone and lack of agreement that it wasn't true, he asked her to confirm those thoughts, because clearly his previous assumptions weren't entirely on the mark.

Giggling at John Ross' obvious distraction and quick movement to knock down the colourful block tower he'd built, Sue Ellen's attention was diverted from their conversation for a moment, but when she did come back to him, her feelings were clear, "no, of course not. I'm well taken care of here and I know Pam has responsibilities at work, just like JR does, or you do".

Silent for a moment, he didn't see much point in asking her if she was sure, her words weren't ambiguous. Sue Ellen could be fragile lady at times, but she had grown a bit in the years he'd known her and she wasn't going to fall apart because the entire family wasn't doting on her every second of every day.

"I think I have some apologising to do", admitting that Pam had been right he knew what he had to do.

"She'll appreciate that", squeezing his shoulder again, Sue Ellen seemed to understand exactly what he meant, either because she knew him or because Pam had told her.

Quiet again, lost in his thoughts, he considered his previous discussions with Pam, he'd been wrong about Sue Ellen's opinion and if he'd been wrong about that perhaps he'd been wrong about other things too, things like assuming just because she was going to see Paris for the first time with Liz Craig, she couldn't also share that with him. "Do you think she'd appreciate me surprising her in Paris?"

Hesitating herself, Sue Ellen's response to his question didn't exactly inspire confidence in his idea. "Can I be honest?"

"That's what I'm asking for", nodding, he encouraged her to continue. Surely his idea wasn't that bad, he recalled JR having done something similar for her years ago, but perhaps there was something he wasn't seeing, it wouldn't be the first time.

Not hesitating this time, Sue Ellen did as he asked and elaborated on her thoughts, "then my answer is no. This trip to Paris is her thing, not yours. If you want to take her to Paris, take her, but I don't think Pam would appreciate you encroaching on her professional life".

Listening to her explanation, he was quick to defend his idea, "I wouldn't encroach".

Offering him a sympathetic smile, she shook her head, "you wouldn't mean to, but that's different. Think about your business trips, or JR's, there are ones that are appropriate for spouses to attend, and ones that aren't. If it was appropriate, an invitation would have been issued".

Doing as she asked, he sighed as he concluded that she was right, telling her exactly that. It wasn't fair, he didn't want to be disruptive or make Pam look unprofessional, he just wanted to share an enjoyable experience with her, but the fact was, even if Liz might understand, Pam didn't necessarily want her work life and home life to overlap to that extent.

"I know", grinning, Sue Ellen patted his hand commiseratively, letting him know that although she felt for him, it wasn't that serious, and she was right, again. Paris might be good for Pam, the way Hawaii had been, perhaps seeing more of the world than Texas might inspire her to want to take him up on his honeymoon offer, or more likely, perhaps she'd see a good use for the vacation time her new job came with.

To be continued…