Chapter Fifty-Three

"Mumma!" came Emilia's tiny shriek.

Ruth sighed. "Yes, Emmy, I'm here, sweet girl." She was trying to pack up the last of their things to spend a few days at the palace. She'd never had to pack on behalf of two babies before. She'd be doing two of everything nowadays, it seemed.

Emmy's little face broke into a beaming smile, and she giggled, "Mumma!" as Ruth picked her up. Her little hands patted her mother's cheek, making Ruth laugh along with her.

"Did you just want to say hi, Emilia? Is that what you wanted?"

The baby nodded, still smiling.

Ruth could not get over it. Emmy was going to be a year old tomorrow. She was talking more and more. She understood things and she could say Mumma, Dada, Cha-lot, Grah, Caff-in, and Wes. Charlotte, Graham, and Catherine were names she couldn't quite get yet, but she knew who her sisters and brother were, and every single person around her was absolutely enamored with the sweet little blonde. And Emilia adored being adored, it seemed. She loved being the center of attention. She would even sometimes demand it, as she did now. Ruth, being busy as a milk machine for the new baby—Emmy had been weaned off her at about nine months, as Ruth entered the final few weeks of her second pregnancy—was more apt to set limits with Emilia. Graham and Catherine showered her with affection and did anything she wanted. But they did not live at Leister fulltime. It was Harry, the proudest father there ever was, who would bend to her little will without hesitation.

The sound of crying echoed down the hall. Ruth sighed. She knew what that meant. And sure enough, Harry entered a moment later, crying Charlotte in his arms. "Lunchtime," he announced.

"Time to trade," she replied. Ruth put Emilia down on the floor. She could stand on her own, but she wasn't quite walking yet. Harry handed Charlotte to Ruth and then picked up Emilia, who had been holding onto his trouser leg.

The little family went into the nursery. Ruth preferred to be in the rocking chair while she breastfed. She did not have to be, but that was habit. She undid herself and maneuvered so Charlotte could latch onto her breast. Harry, meanwhile, took Charlotte onto the floor to play with her.

"I've got nearly everything of ours packed. Do you have everything for the girls?" Ruth asked, running through her mental checklist.

"Yes," Harry answered. "I think so, at any rate. Spare bottles and nappies. Each of their baby blankets. Green for Emilia and purple for Charlotte. Three changes of clothes for each of them, just in case. I left out Mister Duck and Lambie since I figured they'd want to have them in the car."

Ruth smiled. Emilia had not been in the car more than two or three times in her life, as everything they needed was at Leister and people would come visit them. She would be much happier with her little yellow plush duckling. Charlotte, being just seven weeks old, would not care whether or not her plush lamb was with her. But Harry, bless him, had wanted so much to ensure that his daughters did not have to share everything, that the each got to have their own of anything they'd want. Emmy loved her duck, so Charlotte had to have a plush animal of her own.

"Do you know what your father's gotten for her?" Harry asked.

"No, he wouldn't tell me. But he did tell me she'd need to be looking her best. And when I got annoyed at that remark, he said that she always looks lovely and retracted the statement," she grumbled.

Harry chuckled at that, though his laugh was cut off when Emmy, trying to stand and walk, tipped forward and fell against his face. "Oof, you alright, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, Dada," Emmy replied. She was still smiling happily.

A moment later, Charlotte turned her head away, indicating that she was finished eating. Ruth put herself back together and grabbed the flannel to burp the baby. She made sure to keep her head turned away. After a year of feeding and burping babies, Ruth had gotten spit-up in her hair countless times. She had good methods of avoiding it by now.

After Charlotte had been relieved of any gas and had her nappy changed, the family was ready to go. Harry carried Emilia and Ruth carried Charlotte. Zaf and Dimitri carried the bags. Dimitri would be driving the car with Ruth and Harry and the children while Zaf would be driving the other car with Sam and Malcolm. Ruth had been long accustomed to the troubles caused by having a staff. She knew there were more people now because there was more to protect and she had more responsibilities. But she did miss the days when it was just Tom being moody as he followed behind Harry driving her around the capital when they went out on dinner dates.

In her arms, Charlotte yawned and let out the sweetest little noise. Ruth smiled. Things were certainly better this way.

The car ride was thankfully uneventful. Charlotte slept the whole time in Ruth's arms. Emilia stood on the seat beside Harry with his arm keeping her steady and her palms and nose pressed to the window as she looked at the countryside whiz by with awe and delight.

When they carried their daughters out of the car in front of the palace, Graham and Catherine, who had both gone straight to the palace from the university, met them at the top of the entrance steps. Ruth greeted them and suddenly had the strangest feeling wash over her. With Charlotte in her arms and Harry with Emilia and Graham and Catherine there, Ruth realized that this was the first time her whole family had been to the place that would eventually be their home until the day Ruth died. It was Charlotte's first visit to the palace. And after Harry's vasectomy last month, they knew for certain that they would not have any more children. All four of them were here now. One day relatively soon, Ruth would become queen. They'd all be living here, then. Hopefully not too soon. She thankfully had gotten through pregnancy and childbirth before becoming queen. She just hoped beyond hope that she'd get a little while longer to just be a mum before that fateful day arrived. Before she had to say goodbye to her beloved father and goodbye to her life as she knew it.

"Harry, could you take Charlotte and get everyone situated in our room?" she asked, once they all went inside and made all their greetings to each other. The staff started fussing after everyone and Ruth really wished they wouldn't.

"Here, let me see her," Catherine offered, taking Charlotte off Ruth's hands.

"Thanks," Ruth replied. She turned to Harry and Emmy behind her. "I've got to take this one with me for a minute."

Harry handed her the baby without hesitation but gave her a curious look. "Everything alright?" he asked quietly.

"We'll meet you upstairs," she replied, leaning in to give him a swift kiss in reassurance.

Without another word, Ruth carried Emilia with her through the halls of the palace. It still, in so many ways, felt like she was here to see her grandfather. It had been four years since King Richard died, three since King Edmund died. This was entering the fourth prosperous year of the reign of King James. Ruth had not spent as much time learning about the job itself as she should have. But three years ago, they were all rather panicked about the issue of an heir. That had been settled. Charlotte would be extremely dependent on Ruth's constant presence for a little while longer. But her temperament was wildly different than Emilia's already, so perhaps Ruth could take the baby with her. That was certainly something to consider.

Ruth shifted Emilia in her arms to pull open the enormous gilded door to the room she'd been looking for. The throne room. It was by far the most impressive and decorated room in the whole palace. For good reason, of course. It had been used for centuries to intimidate and inspire awe. Ruth had hated this room as a child. It was too grand, and she never felt comfortable there. That cold discomfort was not upon her now.

And that was why she knew she needed to take Emilia there now. Ruth had never had to be comfortable here before. She had always felt, when she was little, that this room was not for her. Uncle Edmund would be king. That had been a certainty since the moment Ruth was born. She had not prepared to ever sit on that throne. She had thought she'd never need to. She'd certainly never wanted to. Even now, she didn't want to. If given the choice, she would have declined the offer. But she did not have a choice. She would not shirk her duty. It was a duty but also a privilege. To lead the people of the nation, to protect and defend them, to work to improve their lives as best she could. It seemed like far too tall an order, to earn their trust and respect and love, to live up to the honor of being their queen.

But it was Ruth's role to fill, one day. And a long time after that, hopefully, it would be Emilia's, too. It was time she knew.

"This will be yours one day, sweet girl," Ruth murmured. She watched her daughter's blue eyes widen as she took in the glory of the room around them. All the gold gilding, the ivory inlay, the blue and red velvet and purple silk. "We're both going to be queen. First me, then you. I promise to give you as much preparation as I can. You will never have to worry about what to do. I'll make sure you know the way. You won't have to fall into it like I am. From the moment you were born, Emilia, you were assured your place. I wasn't, but hopefully I can make all the mistakes for you to learn from. Though I hope I don't make too many mistakes."

Ruth carried the baby over to the throne itself, up on its pedestal. She stood Emmy up on top of the seat, holding her hands to keep her steady.

"What do you think? You'll grow into it, I expect. Me, I'm done growing. It seems a bit too big for me to fit properly. Though unfortunately neither me nor your dad are very tall. You might end up small like me. I am sorry for that. But I think you look good here," Ruth praised. "Your blonde curls match the gold." She sighed, trying not to feel too melancholy about the whole thing. "Get used to it, Emilia. One day you're going to be Queen Emilia Fiona Mary Louisa of the House Everard."

"You know she'll probably be twice your age by the time she sits up there properly?"

She smiled and turned her head to look behind her. "You think I'm going to be queen till I'm in my nineties?"

King James crossed the room to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, dear, I do. She'll have a long time to learn from you. I just worry you'll have to learn so much of it on your own, dear."

Ruth scooped Emmy into her arms and turned to hug her father. "We've still got some time. We can figure it out." Though Ruth did not know how true those words would turn out to be. Or how untrue. "How are you feeling?"

"More bad days than good, it seems. Well, not too bad. Okay days. But not too many good days anymore. Still, I'm doing alright. Walking around, eating and caring for myself still. And I get to celebrate my granddaughter's first birthday tomorrow. She's going to get some lovely portraits."

"Oh Dad, you're not!" Ruth whined.

He laughed and rubbed her back as he pulled her back into his arms. "Indulge a dying man, Ruth. And yes, I will be using that excuse for years to come, I think. I want to get portraits of her on her birthday."

"Alright, Dad," she conceded.

They were quiet for a moment, the three of them in each other's arms. Dad broke the silence eventually. "I'm glad you brought her here."

"I grew up hating this room. I didn't want her to feel that way."

"Do you still hate it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It doesn't scare me like it used to. It still feels too big for me, but I this I've…I've accepted it. I know I'll be here whether I want to be or not. Doesn't seem to be much good in being afraid of the inevitable," Ruth mused.

Dad kissed her forehead and did the same to Emilia. "I know the feeling," he said. "But we can focus on the future another time. I think we should focus on the present for now. I've got a whole long weekend with my baby granddaughters, and I'd like to spend as much as that time with the both of them as possible."

Ruth pulled back and readjusted Emilia in her arms. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

The three of them walked together and closed the door, leaving the throne room behind. For now.