Dallas, Texas

Lying on their bed, stroking his wife's hair rhythmically as she burrowed closer to him, her forehead to his chest, Bobby slowly explained his thoughts on the situation, finishing with, "we have excellent health insurance, we'll get a second opinion, or a third, we'll get through this". He didn't want to consider what it would mean if they didn't get through it, if the worst happened, and he couldn't show her that he was even considering that happening, he had to be strong, he had to be the one with the solutions, she was already the one personally dealing with the physical and mental strain of pregnancy.

"From what Doctor Hollister said there's not much we can do but wait and see what happens, monitoring the situation and reacting as things develop", rolling away from him, onto her back, she stared at the ceiling as she spoke.

"We can still seek other opinions", aware that another doctor could and probably would tell them the same thing, he didn't want to just give up on the idea that perhaps they might not, that perhaps Digger's doctor had been wrong or exaggerating the severity of the situation.

"Yes, we can", turning her head to face him, she offered him a weak smile, telling him she appreciated his optimism but she didn't necessarily feel the same way.

"And our baby could be just fine", maintaining his positivity, he tried again to bring her around to not completely giving up when there was no reason to.

"It could", agreeing, she brushed her hand over her abdomen which was slowly but steadily changing from a flat, toned area to a rounder, more noticeable part of her, something that delighted him, but he knew she still wasn't entirely comfortable with, especially now that it was a constant reminder of the uncertainty of the future.

"So we have to have hope", running his hand over hers, he said one thing, but he couldn't help thinking another; there was a possibility that things weren't going to go the way they wanted them to and he needed to be prepared for that, for his sake but more for Pam's sake.

"Of course we do. Hope isn't a cure though. There is no cure, it's a genetic condition. Any child of mine will be a carrier, even if they're not symptomatic", appearing tearful, Pam reiterated the situation, that even if their child was born healthy and had no detectable tumours, that wasn't the end of it.

"Oh Pammy", rolling her over to pull her back to him, he held her closely, unsure of what else to say. He couldn't tell her everything was going to be fine, he didn't know that himself, all he could do was emotionally support her and use his advantages in life to ensure she had the best care.

"I'm worried", murmuring a couple of words, he felt her tears dampening his shirt before he heard her cry.

"I know", holding her tightly as she wept, he felt like joining her, but he refrained from actually doing so, holding onto the idea that for now everything was fine, she was in good health and so was their baby, they didn't need to tempt fate by acting like parents who'd lost everything.

Sobbing into his chest for a long while, she eventually quietened, staying still and silent for a few minutes before lifting her head to ask him a surprising question. "Do you think this is why I had a hard time coming to terms with being pregnant?"

Lifting himself up a little to get a better look at her face, he answered her question with a couple of his own, unsure where she was coming from, "what do you mean? You didn't know about this beforehand did you?"

"No, but what if my intuition was telling me to be cautious and not get too excited because it's all about to be taken away from me", sounding as if she was channelling Sue Ellen, the words coming out of her mouth worried him. Intuition was a real thing, he believed that, but he couldn't and didn't believe that it worked in the way she was describing it.

"Pamela, you can't talk like that", raising his voice, he forcefully opposed her insistent negative attitude, causing her to pull back from him slightly.

Blinking a couple of times, she took a shaky breath and attempted to explain what was going through her head. "I know; it's just difficult to think about. I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to be pregnant, but then I started getting used to the idea, even a little bit excited. Then I had those accidents and by some miracle the baby and I were fine both times, but what if I'm not so lucky next time?"

"Pammy, those were accidental falls; they had nothing to do with neurofibromatosis", sighing, he attempted to absolve her of any guilt regarding what had happened in the past, though he knew it was going to take more than just him telling her not to feel the way she did before she actually changed her mind.

"No, I know that, but what if they were meant to prepare me for some bigger tragedy? What if I was meant to lose this baby either of those times and medical intervention prevented that but it wasn't supposed to?" smiling weakly, she responded saying she accepted his point, although the words she spoke beyond that said otherwise.

Sitting up, he sighed again, he didn't want to argue, especially about something they couldn't actually control, but he did feel the need to make his point known because he really didn't think she needed to be so hard on herself. "That doesn't make any sense. They're two different issues that aren't connected to each other at all and you're being cruel to yourself to try and connect them. You didn't purposely fall in the hayloft or when we were out riding, those were accidents, accidents that had nothing to do with what's going on inside you. You have to think positively, your daddy survived, you survived and Cliff survived, our baby has just as much chance of living a healthy life the way all three of you have and that's what we need to focus on, the alternative is not going to take us anywhere good".

Nodding slowly as he spoke, they seemed to be getting somewhere when instead of arguing her point again, she answered, "you're right, I guess my mind is all mixed up".

It was easy to understand why she would feel confused and worried, she had reason to, but she didn't have to deal with it all alone and she certainly didn't need to overinflate aspects of the situation before she had any confirmation that they were actually reality. Running his hand through her hair again, settling on her cheek, he smiled and said, "I think so. Why try to get some rest? I'll let mama and daddy know you're not feeling well and they'll understand. Then in the morning we'll see about getting an appointment with the best doctor in Texas and we'll go from there".

Touching her hand to his, she nodded again and agreed, "I think that sounds good, I am a bit tired".

"Rest is what you need then", sliding down to lay next to her again, he leaned over and kissed her, holding her close, in no hurry to let her go.

To be continued…