"James!"
"Harper!"
The brunette dissolved into a fit of laughter, music to the former soldier's ears. Bucky adjusted his hands beneath her thighs, making sure his hold was secure, before setting off up the stairs with the young woman on his back. He bolted up the first flight, rounding the corner and shooting up the next as well.
"Jeez!" Harper laughed, hands gripping tighter on his shoulders.
In moments, they had arrived on the third floor landing. Harper shifted as if to be let down, to which Bucky responded, "Not so fast; I intend to deliver you over your threshold, doll."
"I can get there on my own," she protested, but there was still laughter in her voice.
"I know you can, but this is faster."
They were soon at the end of the hallway, standing outside Harper's door. He bent his knees, allowing the young woman to slide from his back. She fumbled for her keys for a moment before managing to unlock the door. They entered quickly, not wanting to give the cat mewling his displeasure at Harper's feet any opportunity to make a run for it. With the door closed and locked behind them, Bucky watched Harper disappear into her room. She returned only a few minutes later, wearing a pair of short black cotton shorts and a baggy green t-shirt.
"Here," she warned before tossing him a bundle of clothing.
"What?" he asked, catching the bundle despite his surprise.
"Sweatpants and a t-shirt. You've already slept here in jeans too many times."
Bucky wasn't sure how to respond. It was certainly a thoughtful gesture. It would have been very forward if they were back in the dating era he had experience in. Was it still forward? Or was it truly just a kind gesture?
"Let me just brush my teeth real quick, and the bathroom is all yours," Harper continued before moving in that direction, only a slight sway to her gait.
The former soldier smiled; she was truly adorable when drunk. He decided it was simply a nice gesture, given the total innocence with which she was operating. There were many ways she could have been coyer if she was trying to initiate something more intimate. As many times as he had imagined all the different ways that scenario could play out, had envisioned tossing her to her mattress, climbing between her legs, her thighs tightening around his waist… He shook his head. Those fantasies had always occurred under the notion that he would never have any sort of a chance with her. But now he did, and he was entirely undeserving of touching her in that way.
"Stop thinking so hard," Harper scolded. She approached him from behind, running her fingers fondly through his hair. "Your turn in the bathroom."
He tilted his head back, looking up at her. The brunette leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Can I grab a blanket?"
"You're sleeping in my room. I never feel good about you out here on this shitty couch."
"You sure that's okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine. You're not gonna be fucking me; we're gonna be sleeping."
Bucky chuckled. "You're crass."
"I thought you enjoyed that about me?"
"I do," he assured with a small smile. He stood from the couch, clothes in hand. "Meet you there in a few."
"Hurry up, I don't wanna fall asleep before you join me, and the whiskey really is calling me toward slumber."
"Yes, ma'am," he nodded, still smiling.
He did indeed rush through the process of changing and getting ready for bed, excited at the prospect of cuddling up with Harper beneath the covers. Vaguely, he was impressed by her accurate guess at his clothing sizes, before exiting the bathroom. He moved across the hall to the bedroom, pausing for his eyes to travel over Harper's form. She lay on her stomach, dark hair falling across her back and over her shoulders. Her huge, fluffy feline lay stretched out beside her, paws hanging over the edge of the bed. Bright brown eyes were fluttering, signaling her struggle to remain awake.
Bucky carefully pulled back the edge of her comforter and immediately laughed. "Harper, what about the top sheet?"
"I don't use 'em," she muttered. A yawn parted her lips before she continued, "They're too cumbersome. They always end up bunched at the foot of the bed, so I just don't even bother anymore."
The former soldier slid under the comforter before pulling it back up over himself. "Can I hold you?"
Harper hummed her consent. Bucky turned, draping his flesh arm over her. He gently gathered her hair and pulled it to the side, allowing him to place a kiss to her shoulder. A sigh of contentment was breathed from Harper's nose.
"James?"
"Harper?"
"Does it bother you that I get drunk and you don't?"
"Not at all," he replied honestly. He couldn't be upset with her for being drunk just because his body didn't allow him to be. "You're a cute drunk."
"Aw, shucks. No need to butter me up," she chuckled. Harper turned her head to face him, cinnamon brown eyes tracing his face. A frown pulled at her lips. "I don't butter you up nearly enough."
Bucky chuckled lightly. "It's okay, Harper."
"I'm not sure how to do this whole… being together thing. I don't know that I'm good at it," she confessed, blinking blearily.
"You're wonderful, doll," he assured. "Don't worry. In a lot of ways, this is new and unclear to me, too."
"What d'you mean? I thought you were quite the ladies' man."
"Serial dater," he corrected. "It's not that I didn't care for the girls I dated back then. I did. But I didn't go into dating any of them with any real intentions beyond enjoying the fun of being young and dating."
"I can't imagine viewing dating as just a fun thing to do," Harper chuckled. "I found it stressful and painful last time I tried."
Bucky's fingers lost themselves in her hair, threading through the dark locks idly as his gaze remained on her face. Her brown eyes were still fluttering, but she was clearly trying to push the long day and the alcohol aside to listen to his explanation. "Back then, I was all about fun. I was riding the high of being good at pretty much anything I tried. Dating included. I went out with a lot of girls, but I never really got to know them. Not really, anyway. Little things, sure. Anna was afraid of heights and hated Ferris Wheels. Ruby loved dogs, so walks in the park were perfect. Marie was more interested in science than any girl I'd ever met before. But that was all on the surface, and it never even crossed my mind that I would be with any of them long term. I had a sort of amorphous idea of dating and having fun until a certain age, then just settling down with a pretty, kind, dependable woman. We'd have a few kids, raise 'em right, and grow old together."
"So what's different now that things feel new and unclear?" Harper asked, light voice betraying the heaviness of the question.
"Pretty much everything is different now," he sighed. "I'm basically a different person. What I want is totally different."
Harper looked at him silently for a moment before pressing, "What is it that you want?"
"I want to be redeemed," he confessed. "I want to be good, to be deserving of someone good. I don't want the same sort of life I had wanted before with the dependable, comfortable wife and a small brood of kids. I don't know what I want for the future exactly, just that I want to do my best at what's right."
"That's a worthwhile endeavor," Harper agreed. Her eyes had stopped fluttering and were clearer and more focused now.
"But this is all new and unclear, in part because who I am and what I want are different, but also because you're different. My feelings for you are different," he explained, again grateful that his long-standing skill of speaking honestly about his feelings to women had remained somehow over the decades. "Honestly, if we were younger, if we'd met before the army, I'd have tried to pair you up with Steve. He always had a thing for strong women that I never quite understood. I was attracted to the stereotype: the soft, modest woman who was also fun and knew how to use her feminine charm."
"You're right; that's definitely not me."
He pushed a fallen lock of hair from her face. "I'm glad. Women like I used to date… they knew nothing of pain. They wanted what I had wanted back then, too, and were using the stereotype to achieve the archetypal life. But that's not you. Your goal isn't to find a handsome, sturdy husband to take care of you."
"Damn right."
Bucky chuckled. "Point is, I remember how to be the sturdy, husband material type, even if I don't feel like that's who I am anymore. I would know how to act toward you if you were the sweet, maudlin type. But I'm trying to figure out who I am now, so there's where it's unclear. And I've never been with a woman like you, so it's all new. Don't worry about not being good at this."
"I will continue to worry, as that's who I am," Harper smiled. "But I do find all of this comforting, despite the focus on your success with past ladies."
"Sorry," he laughed lightly. "I don't mean it like that."
"I know. You're real cute; I'd have been surprised if you didn't have a past with at least a few ladies."
"Well, I could've said the same of you, but you've corrected me on that front."
"To be fair, I think that's been a me-problem, rather than a problem with other people and their view of me."
"I'd hardly consider you problematic, doll."
"Maybe because you're too concerned with labelling yourself as the problematic one."
"C'mon, where did sleepy, drunk Harper go?" he teased.
"Oh, she's still here. She waiting for you to make a move and cuddle her more than this."
"Well, shit. See? I'm clueless."
Bucky turned onto his side and reach both arms out to her, trying not to think about his metal one touching her. Harper scooted into him, allowing him to wrap her up in an embrace and to tuck her beneath his chin. She breathed a contented sigh into his collarbone and draped an arm around his middle. Her fingers lightly brushed over his lower back for a moment before settling.
"Better?"
"Better," she confirmed. There was a loud mewl and Bucky watched the huge orange cat get up and move closer to Harper, settling against her once again. She laughed and said, "Lucky me, sandwiched between my boys."
"I'm not sure whether to feel special that you hold me in that regard or insulted that I've been lumped in with a clingy old cat," he teased.
"Shut up and go to sleep," she muttered, nuzzling her nose against his sternum.
"Okay, doll. Good night."
"Hey, darlin'," Bucky greeted, placing a peck on Harper's temple. He slid into the booth across from her, smiling at the maple brew awaiting him. "Thanks."
"No problem," she replied absently, fingers flying over her keyboard. She glanced up and said, "I'll be social in like twenty minutes, okay?"
"Of course," he nodded. He took the opportunity to peruse the news for any Captain America related articles. Ever since Sokovia and the various reactions of the public, he had been keeping an eye out for anything to do with Steve. He knew some of the public dialogues would definitely be upsetting to his best friend. He had dedicated his life, had sacrificed so much, to protect people and to preserve their freedoms. It seemed that he and the other Avengers had well and truly disappeared into the wind. He frowned, hoping that Steve found some sort of comfort and real camaraderie with the other fighting heroes.
His attention was caught by Harper closing the lid of her laptop with a frustrated sigh. Gently, he asked, "Tough day?"
"You have no idea," she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not really. Same shit different day," she grumbled. "How is your day going?"
"Pretty good," he nodded. "I was considering going to the market after this for some plums and a few other things, but I don't know. Now that it's so nice out, there are a lot of people there during the day."
"Crowds are still hard?"
"I can do them now," he shrugged. Honestly, he confessed, "But I'm still uncomfortable. I feel like I always need to be looking over my shoulder."
"I need a few things, too. If you wanted to, we could go together now."
"You don't want to eat lunch before your next appointment?"
Harper shook her head. "I'm too pissed off to eat. Are you okay pushing off lunch?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Alright, let's go," she replied, slipping her computer into her bag, standing up, and hoisting the bag over her shoulder.
Bucky downed the rest of his coffee quickly, blue eyes tracing her form. She wore tapered black pants, a loose fitting black blouse, and olive colored flats. The material of the blouse was thin, though still opaque, and the sleeves were rolled and cuffed to about a three quarter length.
"Aren't you hot in all black even in the summer?" Bucky asked, reached for her hand as they exited the café.
Harper placed her hand in his, lacing their fingers. "I'm hot in the summer regardless. I may as well be comfortable in my clothes."
"Black clothes make you comfortable?"
"They do. I feel like I look good in black, and outfits are real easy to put together," she answered. "We can't all pull off red."
"You like me in red?" he smirked.
"I do."
"I should've known. You got me that red thermal after all."
"I did," she nodded, cheeks flushing prettily.
They chatted comfortably as they walked deeper downtown toward the market. The closer they got, the more crowded the streets. Bucky couldn't help the tension in his body. What if someone recognized him? What if someone from Hydra was in hiding and spotted him? What if he ended up being followed?
"Plums, you said?" Harper asked, squeezing his hand.
"Yeah," he nodded. The brunette steered them through the crowd toward a fruit cart. He was relieved that she had taken the lead and allowed her to pull them toward their destination. The former assassin reminded himself that Harper was actually excellent cover and that this fact was why he had decided to be friendly with her in the first place. He adjusted his baseball cap just a little lower before pressing a kiss atop Harper's head, hoping she understood his gratitude.
Nipping teeth, a hand in his hair, fingers tugging. Panting breaths fanning across his jaw, breathy moans. Glassy, fluttering brown eyes gazing up at him, only halfway focused. Heaving, full breasts against his hard chest, shapely thighs clenched around his rocking hips.
His hand sped up, chasing his release.
"Fuck!" he gasped, falling over the peak. A few more pumps finished him off, and he braced himself on the shower wall, breathing heavily. The water beat against his back while also washing away the evidence of his lewd behavior.
He had a lot of guilt about fantasizing over Harper when they were just friends, but now he wasn't sure how to feel. Satiated, sure. But was it creepy to fantasize about your girlfriend?
"Shit," he cursed again, hit with a realization.
The soldier was positive that they both understood their arrangement as being exclusive. Equally, he was sure that her feelings for him were as serious as his feelings for her. But he had missed something significant. He hadn't actually asked her to be his girl. Bucky returned to the process of showering, mind turning over this realization and working out a remedy.
A/N: Thank you so much for the feedback on the last chapter! I'm glad that Harper and Bucky's relationship journey has been fun to read thus far! Just a friendly reminder that there will be some adult-y situations in this story, so hopefully this last scene and future ones don't offend. Much appreciation again for all of the support.