Dallas, Texas

"…I guess my question is, is it ok to stay out of something that makes me uncomfortable, or is that cowardly?" running her finger around the rim of her coffee mug, Sue Ellen put the question on her mind to Doctor Williams. Alone with him in his office on a Tuesday morning, the thoughts had been with her for months, but never more than after the dinner party she and JR had hosted at the weekend.

"It depends on what your motivation is", answering her question in a typically vague way, Doctor Williams' words didn't bother her, she knew him well enough now to know everything he said was to help bring her to the answers she was seeking.

Thinking about his question, she must have stared blankly at him, without answering, because he then prompted her with two further questions to consider, "are you staying out of it because taking a side would make you unpopular and you dislike confrontation? Or are you staying out of it because your intuition is telling you to avoid danger?"

Considering the two options, she still didn't feel any more enlightened, but she could answer his question. "It's neither, and both. I like Pam, and I like Jenna, but they don't like each other. All I want is to have two friends; I don't really wish to involve myself in their argument. I don't foresee myself being in any danger because of their disagreements but if I can I'd rather just not be involved at all".

"Do you agree with one over the other?" having been told of the situation between Pam and Jenna, Doctor Williams surely knew that the dilemma she was facing was exactly that, choosing one over the other as it seemed it wasn't easy to have them socialise together the way she'd like, but if he did know, he didn't let on.

"No, I see both sides. Jenna pushes things too far sometimes, but Pam gets upset at things that don't warrant getting upset over", thinking back to Saturday night, her stomach lurched at the memory of the growing tension and her complete inaction throughout the evening.

"Things like?" querying her for examples, Doctor Williams didn't sound particularly concerned, the complete opposite to how she felt.

"Pam doesn't like to hear about Bobby's life before her and Jenna knows that, so she'll say something looking for a reaction from Pam, which she gets. It must be difficult for Bobby, he and Pam haven't been together very long, so he has a lot of life to talk about that she wasn't a part of". Summarising the general way the frowns and pouts from Pam began, she didn't go into too much detail, assuming Doctor Williams could recall from their previous discussions what the past was like and why it was so much of an issue for Pam.

Nodding, he added only another question to the conversation, asking, "and you?"

Unsure what he was getting at, she asked, "me?"

"I'm hearing a lot about everyone but you, where do you fit in?" leaning forward, he pointed out that she hadn't once mentioned herself in the conflict she was describing, asking her to clarify her place for him.

"I invite them to spend time together knowing they don't get along and then when they show that they don't like each other I do nothing about it. I'd like to be able to continue hosting group get-togethers, but I don't know if that's wise", reiterating her original point, that she wanted to have things both ways, she wanted friends, but not the drama that the friends she chose brought with them, she hoped he understood her this time.

"Is anyone saying you can't do that?" asking her a simple question, she had to stop to think about the answer.

"Not exactly", knowing the real answer was no, she was embarrassed that she'd let her thoughts go so far.

"So, why are you so concerned that that's a decision you have to make?" aware of the answer himself, he challenged her to think it over.

"I…" hesitating, she didn't want to admit that she could be her own worst enemy sometimes; she was supposed to have realised that and learned to live with it a long time ago, but their current discussion was proving that she wasn't immune to getting stuck inside her head.

"Sue Ellen, it's ok to think about yourself before others sometimes. I doubt either Pam or Jenna are worrying about being friends with you because they can't stand each other. They're both adults, if they don't want to do something they can choose not to do it", offering her a view of the bigger picture, his gentle tone helped remind her that she wasn't so important after all, which was a relief, because the pressure of balancing various relationships in addition to her own was starting to weigh on her.

"So I can stay out of their argument and just continue being friends with them as I have been? That wouldn't be too passive?" returning to her original question, she wanted his permission to behave the way that felt the most natural, not involving herself in conflict even when it arose.

Shaking his head, he offered her a kind smile, "I would never recommend you act passively when you have a strong opinion about something that is going to affect you, but in this case I wouldn't call staying neutral passive. We're not talking about your relationship with JR, or Pam, or Jenna, we're talking about the relationship between Pam, Jenna and Bobby, which is something they need to figure out amongst themselves".

Feeling relieved as he spelled it out for her, she had one final question, "should I do anything then?"

"Be honest when you have feelings one way or the other, but don't weigh yourself down with other people's problems. Remember, you can only control what you do, not what others do, and it's too much for one person to handle to try and please everyone", making it sound simple, his reassurance wasn't actually anything she hadn't heard before, she had, she just needed to remember it more often.

"I know, thank you", smiling, she was appreciative of his sympathetic ear.

"You're welcome", nodding, he matched her smile, holding eye contact with her for a few moments before looking down at his notepad.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she wasn't surprised at all when he asked her a general question as he scribbled a few notes down. "Other than the tension between Pam and Jenna, did you have a good time on Saturday evening?"

He knew all about her struggle to make friends, which was why it felt so important to keep both Jenna and Pam in her life, luckily though, when things were good, she felt they were very good. "I did thank you", thinking about it, she had enjoyed herself; she'd spent her teenage years preparing for her role as wealthy hostess and now that she had a happy marriage and a social group to share her skills with, she was excited to continue doing so. She didn't know when next she'd be hosting a dinner party but the next few weeks were looking busy for her between shopping for nursery items with Pam, spending long summer days out on the ranch with Jenna, Charlie and Lucy, a weekend at the lake house with the entire Ewing family, and spending time with her husband and son. If she could finally learn to do as Doctor Williams recommended, focus on what was actually important to her day-to-day life, she thought she had a real chance at happiness.

To be continued…