Denison, Texas

Turning the two rings in his hand, Bobby stared at the neutral walls of the private room off to the side of the public waiting area, numb. The doctors had called it chorioamnionitis, an infection complication from pPROM, whatever that meant. He didn't need or understand the details, he knew what the outcome was and throwing around medical terms did nothing to change the fact that things had gone from bad to worse to absolutely devastating in a matter of hours. His wife was dead, his son was dead, he was a widower in his twenties, it wasn't anything he could have ever imagined and it was difficult to accept now.

Running his thumb over the smooth gold and sharp diamond, he remembered when he'd bought the rings, it had been a short time in the scheme of their relationship, but he'd thought long and hard about it and once he'd made the decision he'd moved quickly, making her his fiancée and then wife on an afternoon in March.

"You did this to her, she didn't even want to be pregnant, but she accepted it and put on a brave face for you, and look where that got her", jumping as he heard the door opening, he wasn't prepared for the viciousness of Cliff's words, but he supposed he ought to be, he was technically right.

Standing, he met Cliff's eye and admitted, "you think I don't know that?" He couldn't argue with his brother-in-law, not now. Pam hadn't wanted to have children so soon into their marriage, she'd told him that on their wedding night, then when she'd found out she was unexpectedly expecting she hadn't changed her opinion the way he'd hoped she might. She'd softened a little since the initial shock, paying more attention to John Ross for a glimpse at the future, playing along with his hopeful fantasies as they lay in bed together, even going as far as smiling as she admitted shopping for nursery furniture and accessories had been fun, still though, she'd never said she was excited for motherhood. The neurofibromatosis diagnosis and unrelated pregnancy complications had added an extra layer of trepidation to her short pregnancy experience and now it appeared she'd been right to be fearful.

"She was my sister", whispering, without any hint of the anger he'd displayed just moments ago, Cliff's grief was palpable. He didn't know Cliff well personally, they'd only met once or twice, but he empathised with the position he was in.

"She was my wife, and he was my son", squeezing Pam's engagement ring and wedding band in his hand, the pain of the sharp diamond cutting into his palm was a welcome distraction from the pain in his heart, the pain that came from referring to his wife and child in the past tense.

"Son?" taking a sharp breath, Cliff sat down, quietly murmuring, "the baby was a boy?" processing the information for the first time apparently.

He'd called Cliff hospital as soon as they'd arrived at the hospital, telling him what he knew to be correct at the time, not expecting that from that point things would go downhill so quickly. He hadn't spoken to his brother-in-law since then, he'd obviously heard the news upon arrival at the hospital himself, but whoever had broken it to him hadn't detailed everything, or they had, but Cliff hadn't heard it all being understandably emotional.

"Yes. Willard John Ewing, we were going to call him Will", confirming the news, he sat down next to Cliff, reality hitting him hard that there were a lot of things he and Pam had planned to do that they never would now.

"You named him after daddy", whispering, his voice shaking, it appeared Cliff was on the verge of tears, which wasn't so different to how he felt himself.

Nodding, he confirmed the thought process behind the decision, "it was an idea Pamela had put out there a couple of times, it if was a boy she wanted a family name, if it was a girl, well, we never got as far as deciding that…" Trailing off, his mind raced with thoughts of Pam, Will, and their future family; they'd never have a chance to name their daughter now, they didn't have a daughter, but they did have a son, or they had.

He'd not been present to see their son born, nor for the short life he'd lived, and he couldn't be certain Pam had had a chance to know him before he left them either, her condition had deteriorated rapidly, but from what he'd been told Will had been perfect, with ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes.

Listening patiently, Cliff was silent for a time, finally addressing him, simply saying, "Bobby, I'm sorry".

Nodding, he accepted Cliff's sentiments and acknowledged that he wasn't the only one suffering, "thank you. I'm sorry too". Cliff had had a lifetime with Pam, he'd had less than a year, and knowing how he felt, he could only imagine the way Cliff did too.

"She loved you, you know that don't you?" reflecting on Pam's marriage, rather than their sibling relationship, Cliff's selflessness surprised him. He could barely bring himself to think of anyone else right now, he had to continue to remind himself that he wasn't the only affected party, Cliff was doing a much better job at recognising and reassuring him in their shared grief.

"I do", remembering her last words to him before they'd whisked her away behind the doors marked staff only, he found comfort in the knowledge that they'd had a chance to tell each other how they felt. They hadn't expected the moment to be their last together, but at the very least, she'd left the world knowing she was in his heart.

"She's with Will now", sincere, Cliff's words cut deep; if it had had to happen, at least their son had his mother with him now, but he wished it had never happened.

Meeting Cliff's eye, he offered him an understanding nod, "I hope so".

He couldn't break down, not yet, there was too much to deal with and too many people to speak to first, the reminder of that no more evident than when the door opened again, this time to reveal his family.

To be continued…