Dallas, Texas

Turning around to look at his wife as they stepped out onto the Southfork patio, JR sighed to himself when Sue Ellen stopped walking and stood still, surveying their surroundings, eventually murmuring, "this feels wrong".

"I know, but it would've been very difficult to cancel, the invitations had already been sent", acknowledging that it was a little strange to be hosting a Ewing barbecue so soon after deaths in the family, he didn't want to get back into a conversation about something he thought they'd come to an agreement on earlier.

"I know, it just feels inappropriate to be here enjoying ourselves when Bobby's off somewhere in mourning and Pam's gone altogether", looking visibly unsettled, she reiterated how she felt about the situation.

"Will you at least try to enjoy yourself?" resting his forearms on her shoulders, he urged her to go along with the plan they'd discussed the previous evening. He understood why she was unsure about celebrating, she was well-mannered and empathetic, she didn't want to have a good time when someone close to them was having such a bad time. This was bigger than her personal thoughts though, they were part of a family and as a family they were hosting an annual event for hundreds, they had a role to play and now wasn't the time to have personal objections to the way things were.

"Yes", nodding, she didn't look any happier than she had before, but at least she'd agreed to play her part.

"Thank you", satisfied, he took her hand and started walking again, pleased when she went along with his lead without stopping.

Surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the workers setting up for the barbecue, they made their way over to the far side of the pool where his mama and Lucy were sitting with John Ross.

"Chili", following feeding him a spoonful of her famous recipe, his mama repeated the word they were sure John Ross would be able to say properly soon, and as expected, he attempted to mimic her, saying "chi".

"You're getting there", chuckling, his mama's warmth towards her grandson was evident; their mother and son relationship was difficult at times but there was no doubt that she absolutely adored John Ross.

Approaching the table from behind at the same time as the band started their sound check a few yards away, their arrival appeared to be too much excitement for their young son, the next spoonful of chili missing his mouth entirely as he clapped enthusiastically.

"I think that might be enough for now", wiping his face, his mama spoke generally, likely well aware that she'd lost his attention now that they'd arrived.

"Hello sweetheart", leaning over, Sue Ellen dropped a kiss on John Ross' forehead, receiving a happy giggle and clap.

"Has grandma been feeding you chili?" taking a seat beside Lucy, on the opposite side of the table to John Ross, Sue Ellen made conversation, her tone striking him as a little too cheerful for the occasion, but nevertheless he was still pleased she didn't appear to be completely miserable.

"Trying to", laughing again, his mama confirmed that things had gone as well as they could with a distracted toddler and a bowl of red food.

"Gama… chi", looking between his mother and his grandmother, John Ross didn't exactly answer the question, but they didn't expect him to either, words were not his strength, not yet anyway.

Stroking his hair, Sue Ellen's genuine enjoyment of their son was obvious, which made it only more concerning that she seemed so unsure still about having another child. There was no harm in waiting until she was ready for another baby but seeing as her fear of maternal mortality was all that appeared to be holding her back he wished she'd just learn to stop being so scared and cruel to herself and instead embrace the chance she potentially had to double the happiness she had now.

"I was just explaining to John Ross about the Ewing barbecue", addressing Sue Ellen, Lucy did what she was known to do, started to speak and didn't stop for a good while.

Listening to his niece, he noted how careful she was with her words, not mentioning Bobby or Pam at all, making him wonder whether his parents had spoken to her about not bringing the mood down or whether she was more mature than he gave her credit for. Whatever was going on in Lucy's head, he was impressed that she was able to see ahead to the barbecue as something to enjoy, unlike Sue Ellen who insisted on dwelling on all that had gone wrong in the lead up to their gathering.

Conversation trailing off as the band started to rehearse, everyone's attention turned to John Ross as he threw himself backwards excitedly, trying to get a glimpse of where the music was coming from. "How about we go and have a look", quickly steadying him with her hand, Sue Ellen didn't hesitate to then stand and lift John Ross out of his chair, helping him down to the ground.

"Excuse us", holding him in place for a few moments, she politely made eye contact with everyone at the table, inviting them to join if they so wished, then finally let John Ross run ahead, following a couple of feet behind him herself.

Watching John Ross and Sue Ellen disappear off down to where the stage was setup, he looked at his mama and Lucy, neither of who didn't seem particularly concerned about Sue Ellen's state, indicating that for as down as she had been earlier, she wasn't transparent. John Ross' outburst was the perfect distraction from all that seemed to be on Sue Ellen's mind, because with a rambunctious toddler to pay attention to in the present it was difficult to dwell on old, sad memories, however, he doubted all would be well when they were alone again.

"I'd better be going too, there's still so much to do, excuse me", collecting the near empty bowl of chili, his mama stood and made her exit, followed by Lucy who murmured something along the same lines.

Left alone, he watched his wife and son from afar; they looked very happy together and he wished it would last, but knowing Sue Ellen as he did, he knew it was optimistic to assume it would.

To be continued…