[Alice's No Good Very Bad Week]

Alice likes working. She likes being busy and staying occupied. She knows - she's been told - that she's got the same quality as a bee, always buzzing around, full of energy. Being busy is one way to run that energy out, so it makes sense that she likes working.

If Alice stops to think about it, she'd realize that she's always been working, one way or another. Between helping Mama wrangle her younger siblings, to duckling around after Granny at the old blueberry plantation every weekend, to teaching herself how to be thrifty with a needle and thread and tutoring under a local seamstress, and all the little bright spots of bursting activity that filled her childhood, Alice has been kept busy since the first time she toddled around. And she likes it that way. She's even kept it going at college as a barista, tucking away the side hustle money she needs to supplement that hard-won scholarship.

So, yes, Alice likes working and she has always been working and she will keep working, just like a little bee. It makes sense, then, that she likes her internship at Denali Corps, even if it does involve a long commute three times a week. Alice just found new ways to fill that time, either studying or handcrafting something small or, recently, teaching herself all about this game she learned to love from one of her best friends.

And, okay, Alice knows - really, she does - that she came by this internship out of luck. The whole thing's been luck, honestly. First, she bumbles the interview and uses the wrong handle, but that somehow seems to work out. Then the internship starts and instead of gophering the gaming department, Alice was shuttled off to HR to do what is, more or less, busy work pushing piles of paper around, but that's okay too, because Alice likes it anyway because she can understand it. So, by her reckoning, she's lucked out twice for the whole thing - that she got it at all and then that she does work that matches her skillset. She even gets paid a decent wage for it too, which means she might not even have to go back to being a barista in the fall if she can squirrel away enough funds.

That's all luck. No way that isn't anything but lucky. And in actual fact, Alice Brandon considers herself to be extremely lucky. She's fortunate to come from a big, loving family, she's fortunate to have gotten into a good college that has her dream degree program, and she's fortunate to have found a new home in three other girls.

Alice doesn't take a single grain of her luck for granted - whether it's accidental or not.

But while Alice is admittedly a little more naïve than her roommates, she isn't blind or dumb. She knows where she stands in the world, especially in relation to truly exceptional people like Bella, and that's why she knows luck when she sees it. Because what other explanation is there other than luck that could explain how her life is working out right now?

It's all luck. But luck is a thing that turns, isn't it? Granny knows it best, and usually says so when she talks about Gramps, may his soul rest in peace. Alice knows that she - and her family - haven't always been lucky, because luck comes in turns.

Alice has been lucky for a while, now. It only makes sense that it comes crashing down eventually.

And somehow, it all starts with a throwaway conversation, one that happens in a break room over cherry strudel and iced tea that definitely isn't sweet enough, not by Mississippi standards.

It's just Alice and two other interns, both from the gaming department who have trickled down to HR to fill out some additional paperwork because they've been hand-selected to continue their internship - something about the company being headhunted to develop some new game. Alice had been the one to process their paperwork, and she'd also been the one to invite them to go ahead and take the strudel because otherwise, it's going to be thrown out.

"Too many women on too many sad diets are in HR," she'd said, all Southern charm and hospitable smile, and the other two interns had laughed.

But then they stay in the break room, electing to eat the strudel there, and that's where - in hindsight - it all starts to go wrong. Because they all start talking about how much they're enjoying their internships, and how meaningful the work experience is, and how that interview process was kind of a circus, wasn't it? And didn't they ask such interesting questions? The other boy off-handedly mentions that he's glad he had a handle to give them, and the other girl agrees.

And then Alice says, "I didn't have one at all."

The other two interns laugh. "Not a single one? Then how'd you answer the question?"

Alice laughs and speaks with unthinking honestly. "Oh, well, I just borrowed my friends! I guess she's kind of a well-known name in gaming, but she let me and my other friends borrow one of her handles. Only, I forgot which handle I was supposed to use, and accidentally used her real handle instead! A very big oops moment!"

The girl intern is astonished. "Really? That's crazy!"

"We figured it didn't matter, but then I got the internship and she didn't. I don't know, maybe they could tell," Alice jokes. "I did get moved to human resources instead!"

The two interns laugh because it is kind of funny in a seriously ironic way. Alice had definitely lucked out with the whole thing, and even now she's a little embarrassed by her faulty memory. Although, in her defense, all those handles had been really similar. And in the end, since Bella didn't seem to mind and had actually been quietly relieved about the whole thing, Alice had let go of the issue. It doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.

So when the boy intern asks what handle she used, and Alice says Swansong, and he starts gushing about how impressive Swansong is, Alice just smiles brightly and says how much more amazing Swansong is in person.

She doesn't think anything of it, because when has she ever had to give the truth a second thought?

But Alice had forgotten in those ten minutes that the break room isn't exactly private, and that gossip moves around Denali Corps like a rumbling earthquake. After all, the whole company knew the minute the girlfriend to the company heir had visited and spent days combing over the rumor about their alleged bickering, which could be heard throughout his entire floor.

Alice just…doesn't think anything she has to say will prove noteworthy enough to be spread around.

But…Well. Alice was wrong.

Jasper W
Are you going to be late?
Class starts in 10

Alice B
I'm not late!
I'm almost there!

Jasper W
What was it this time?

Alice B
The library is really big!
And I went to the wrong one first!
But!
I found that book you wanted

Jasper W
Really?
Sweet

Alice B
I'm not just gonna give
it away though
I want a fair trade

Jasper W
I already give you coffee
And notes
What more could you want?

Alice B
So many things
But first!
Let me show you the haircuts that
would look so much better on you

Jasper W
This again?
I like my hair

Alice B
Lol
Like it with this style instead
(Picture Attachment)
(Picture Attachment)

Jasper W
Alright I'll bite
The second one does look cool

Alice B
I knew it!
:D

Alice decided to try Dawn of Warcraft mostly on a lark. She was curious. Bella seems to have so much fun playing it, and Alice believes in trying out anything her friends like at least once because having common interests is important. Alice figures she won't see the appeal after designing her character, which is what usually happens any time she plays the Sims, and then that'll be that. She'll have tried it, it won't spark her interest, and she'll move on.

Except that after she spends 3 hours designing her character and wading through the tutorials, Alice finds that she actually kind of enjoys the game. It's all so pretty and vivid and well thought out, almost like a real world all by itself. And, like, not to make any mistake about it, Alice is not good - she's no Swansong, and she probably never will be no matter how much she plays because Bella is special, even to Alice's untrained eye.

But that doesn't mean that Alice doesn't have fun with Foresight, because she does. She's a cute, spunky little dwarf and her feet run around so quick and Alice finds she enjoys learning how to toggle and perfect her aim. She levels up and finds out that she likes that sense of accomplishment, especially since each subsequent level takes more skill.

By the time Foresight runs into Wit Monger, Alice is well and truly sold on Dawn of Warcraft. She'll never be a dedicated player like Bella, but she does greatly enjoy it, enough to pay for that monthly subscription.

Wit Monger makes it twice as fun.

See, Alice didn't really understand what Bella was talking about when she said that getting married in the game wasn't a huge deal. It's not, like, real. Not usually. But after playing for long enough, Alice understands the logical advantage of a partnership in the game, and she also understands that having an in-game spouse opens new opportunities to level up. That's how she thinks about it too, when right off the bat she sees Wit Monger and takes the opportunity where it stands.

Wit Monger isn't any better a player than Alice, but that doesn't matter. He makes it more fun anyway, and they have such interesting conversations. Alice very quickly thinks of Wit Monger as a friend, someone she can trust and rely on, and that sees them through the struggle of learning the game together.

But then Bella's Master Culler turns into Masen Cullen, and Alice's eyes open to the possibilities of who might be sitting on the other side of the screen, scraping through level after level with her.

If Bella could find Masen, then who would Alice find? She's curious. She wants to find out. But she doesn't want to be the one to bring it up, either, and so she doesn't say anything - not about revealing their true identities, at least.

Wit Monger doesn't bring it up either.

Alice lets it rest. There's always another time, and she isn't sure that she's brave enough to know, anyway.

Not yet.

Jasper W
What are these?

Alice B
Glasses!
Aren't they cute?

Jasper W
I know what they are
I mean to ask
Why did you send them to me

Alice B
Look Jazz
Can I call you Jazz?

Jasper W
I guess…

Alice B
Great!
Look Jazz, you're cute
but you're a diamond in the rough

Jasper W
Thanks?

Alice B
What I'm saying is
A few updates will shine up
your diamond

Jasper W
Okay…?

Alice B
Jazz
The glasses have to go

Jasper W
I need them to see!

Alice B
Then at least need a more
stylish pair!
Like these
(Picture Attachment)

Jasper W

These aren't bad
I guess

Alice B
:D

Alice shows up at the internship on Monday, humming a dotty little tune that matches the perk in her step. She had a great weekend - she got to sleep, she has a fresh manicure and pedicure, and she and Wit Monger finally beat that awful dungeon. Plus, she even woke up early enough to grab coffee for her commute, which she doesn't usually get to do.

Alice is in high spirits. Nothing can get her down.

Well. Except for that abysmally high stack of work waiting for her at her desk. When she rounds out the side of her little space and sees the veritable tower waiting for her, Alice spends a good while gawking at it, because these files are old - like, there's dust on them and everything.

One of her supervisors walks by and clucks her tongue. "You think these files are going to integrate themselves into the electronic system? Get to work."

Alice blinks rapidly. "But…what about scanning them in?"

Her supervisor shakes her head. "Afraid not. We have orders that they need to be input by hand."

"Oh. Well, alright then," Alice says quietly. "I'll just get started, then."

"When you're done with those, there are more in the storage closet down the hall," her supervisor adds, right before she sashays away in her clompy, last-season shoes.

There is a sound of snickers poorly hidden behind hands around her, and Alice can't help but think the laughter sounds a little mean.

Only a few days ago, that laughter had sounded sympathetic or genuinely amused. Alice doesn't know what happened or why it feels like something has changed, but the fact remains that she has a lot of work to do. And it looks like she's going to have a lot of work to do for a while.

But that's okay. Alice likes to work. Alice likes to be busy.

Alice likes to be very busy.

When she goes back on Wednesday, the amount of work piled on her desk doesn't seem to have diminished at all. She's the only one working on these files, she knows, so she doesn't expect the pile to shrink quickly. She takes comfort in the fact that at least most of those files are different from the ones she transcribed on Monday. That's something.

Alice keeps her sprits up and keeps plowing away at the files on her desk. She gets into a rhythm, slogging away with a truly impressive amount of progress, all things considered. But by the end of the day, her fingers are aching and her coworkers still seem to have a mean-spirited laugh at her expense every once in a while.

And then, right as she is packing up to leave, he shows up.

She knows his face from the interview, and from after the interview. He's good looking in a hawkish kind of way, sharp features contorted in a constant intense expression. James Denali, the heir to the company, has come to visit Alice personally.

She looks up at him from her desk, rotating her wrists to work the ache out, and James Denali peers down his nose at her. Alice sees the anger banked in his eyes and shivers, some instinct telling her she's treading into dangerous waters.

James Denali has the kind of anger like a flash flood. Alice can see it right away.

"Alice Brandon," James drawls out. Unlike the Southern drawls Alice grew up around, this one sounds mean, and alone with James since all her coworkers seem to have gone home, Alice can admit to feeling unnerved.

"That's me," she answers meekly. She's cautious like a field mouse caught still beneath the gaze of a predator.

James smiles, all teeth and too sharp to be nice. "Did you like the work you got to do today?"

No, Alice did not like the work she was assigned, but mostly because it doesn't seem like she's made a dent. She doesn't say that, though. She nods and tries on a bright smile. "I'm learning a lot about transcribing," she offers. "Lots of…files, you know? Just…so much transcribing…"

James' face twists into a superior sneer. "I'm glad you like to waste your time, Alice Brandon. It works out great for me."

Alice furrows her brow, feeling abruptly wrong-footed. What's going on?

"Ah, I see you still don't understand." James sighs, then tilts his head, a gaze like a blade pinning her in place. "Let me clear it up for you, alright? At Denali Corps, we value integrity, even in our interns. And for employees who are caught in a lie - well, you can be sure that they'll be given a special kind of work. Do you hear what I'm saying…Swansong?"

As James sneers his final word, it all slots into place for Alice - and oh, how she can feel the blood rushing away from her face, the blanche so sudden she feels dizzy with it. A terrible feeling creeps up her spine. Oh, no. They found out she flubbed her interview! And worse yet, it seems to matter to James Denali quite a bit.

"There goes that tiny brain," James praises, a mean curl to his lip. "You get it now. I know that you aren't who you claim to be. You aren't Swansong, and now it seems too obvious. Swansong is exceptional, while you…are not. But don't worry. You can keep this little internship. I don't mind. Let it serve as a lesson while you complete this mindless drivel."

Each word is a prick, a stab, a slash.

He's right, of course. Alice isn't Swansong. And Swansong - Bella - is exceptional, while Alice is…just Alice. Plain in comparison in all the ways that matter. It's never bothered her before because Alice is confident in herself and she knows that Bella would much rather be unexceptional.

But now…Now it hurts. It's supposed to hurt, she knows. It's supposed to send a message.

Alice drops her eyes as James walks away, the aggression of his steps making her shoulders crawl up to her ears. The message, she thinks, has been received.

Alice is no Swansong, she is no Bella Swan, and she never will be.

It's only after she's packed up, left the building, and caught the BART that it occurs to her - right when she's dashing away humiliated tears, she realizes belatedly that the only reason she even has this internship is because James, who had sat in on her interview, thought she was Swansong.

And that means that she only got the internship because someone thought she was Bella. It wasn't because of her glowing recommendations, her work history, her enthusiasm, or her grades. No, Alice only got this internship because of a mistakenly-given handle that isn't even hers.

Is Bella really so great?

Alice squashes the envy skittering in the back of her head. Bella really is so great, even with an anonymous online persona, so it stands to reason that someone would prefer Bella to Alice. It makes sense, and there's no reason to feel envy about it. Bella is Bella; Alice is Alice. There's no changing that.

Doesn't mean it hurts any less, though.

When Alice gets back to the dorm, it's kind of quiet. Bella isn't home. It's late enough that she might be getting dinner, but she would have told Alice about it -

Oh. Right.

Bella is out with Masen Cullen tonight. They're having dinner, because they're a couple and they do that now. Bella had told her that morning that she wouldn't be back until late. Alice had forgotten.

Alice drags her feet to her room and sinks down on the bed, slumping over on the pile of clothes she keeps at the foot of her bed. Today was awful. Was it really only a week ago that she was dancing on clouds, happy because of how well her internship was going, how nice Jasper was being, how much fun she was having in her game? Was that really only a week ago?

How quickly things can change. Now, her internship isn't something she looks forward to - she's filled to the brim with dread about going back on Friday.

Well, at least not everything has changed. Maybe the internship is going downhill, but Alice has other things, like Jasper and her online friend.

Still, she can't help but think about Bella, and about how their luck compares lately. Bella should have gotten Alice's internship - she would have, Alice knows now, if only Alice hadn't fumbled during the interview. But even without the internship, Bella is Bella. Pretty, perfect, Bella, with her mild manners and her modesty and her humbleness. Bella is enviable, because she has everything she wants and it seems like she doesn't even try, from her reputation to her boyfriend to that sparkling GPA and her effortless talent in everything.

Alice might have some luck, but Bella is truly lucky.

And Alice starts to really envy her best friend.

《 Wit Monger: hey you didn't show up earlier

》Foresight: oh sorry!

》Foresight: I got caught up in something

》Foresight: I should have sent a message

《 Wit Monger: it's alright

《 Wit Monger: is everything okay?

》Foresight: not really

》Foresight: but it will be

》Foresight: I'm just being silly about something

《 Wit Monger: I'm here if you need a shoulder

》Foresight: I know :)

》Foresight: thank you :)

There's only about one and a half weeks left until the end of the summer quarter, so it makes sense that the intensity of Alice's single class is picking up. Even though she's already taken - and failed - this course, she still struggles to stay ahead of the curve. History simply is not her forte, but she needs this class for her degree.

At least she's not taking all new classes like Bella. Although Bella is acing all of her classes this summer quarter. Because of course she is.

Alice tries to keep her spirits up when she eases into class on Thursday, because a positive attitude can go a long way according to Granny, and Granny is almost always right. But it's hard to have high spirits when she's still reeling from yesterday's events and when she's swimming in the guilt of having accidently stood Wit Monger up - and that's not even counting the swifter-moving, lower-reaching ebb of guilt she feels over the little green monster sitting on her shoulder.

Alice spots Jasper and makes a bee-line for him in one of the back rows. He's frowning down at his phone, which really isn't unusual at all, but he's brought coffee for her again and she can't help beaming at him as she slips into the seat beside him. She studies his profile for a moment as she sips on the sweet, icy drink, taking in the curl of blond hair around his ears and the way his glasses make him look so much more serious despite the fact that he's younger than her by maybe two years.

He really is good-looking, isn't he? Even with these unflattering glasses and all that hair falling into his face. It makes Alice feel all fluttery inside, a feeling that has been growing since he first apologized to her. He has the potential to be a very decent man, she thinks.

Maybe…

"So, what has you so chipper today?" Alice asks, blithe as she ducks just a scant inch closer, trying to see what's captured his attention so much.

Jasper doesn't answer for a moment, but when he does, it's with a sigh. "Lost opportunity," he answers, and as he does, his phone screen becomes visible from Alice's angle.

Oh.

Alice feels abruptly chilled, sticking with cold sweat, a shiver that traces from the top of her head down to the base of her spine. Her lungs feel frozen. She has no idea what her face is doing, but she can imagine that she looks exactly as stricken as she feels. She has a very expressive face. Lots of people have told her so. She's probably broadcasting the exact combination of cold dread and disappointment and dismay and mortification.

Because right there on the screen of Jasper's phone - Jasper, who was so nice to her now and made her laugh and she thought could maybe, someday, hopefully, be more than just a friendly classmate - is an article on the Cardinal Trees blog. It's another story about Bella and Masen, this time a teasing little expose capturing the sweet lingering moment from last night when Masen, yet again, dropped Bella off at the dorm after a date.

Jasper read this article. Jasper read this article and thought lost opportunity.

Hysteria slithers through Alice's mind. Of course. Of course Jasper likes Bella. Who doesn't? Bella is incredibly likable. Alice knows it.

Still. It's just…

Alice spools composure around her like a shroud. Act normal. He's just a boy. He might have liked Bella before, but she has a boyfriend now and he knows it. So, it's okay. Really. It's fine.

"Well…There's always more fish in the sea?" she tries.

Jasper rubs at the back of his head. "Yeah, sure. I mean, I'm not mad or anything, but I had been trying to get closer to her for a while-"

This is news to Alice.

"-and she did tell me before, during the spring quarter, that she liked this Masen guy, so I guess I should have seen it coming, but-"

Alice stares at Jasper while he rambles on, explaining how the news is more frustrating than anything else, not really hearing him. Because she's just learned two new things.

One, Jasper had been trying to move in on Bella, which isn't shocking because boys do that all day every day for Bella. It's a little shocking to hear it directly from his mouth, but again, not…too surprising.

The second part, though, really shakes her. Bella and Jasper had talked at least once, and at least long enough that Jasper learned personal information. Alice doesn't doubt for a second that, if this conversation was during the spring semester, way before Bella and Masen were a thing, that Bella devised that bit of bait to shake Jasper off her tail. Which apparently hadn't worked? Or maybe it had?

Alice doesn't know. She really doesn't know.

"-but I guess hindsight is twenty-twenty," Jasper finishes with a gusty sigh.

"That's too bad…" Alice musters a smile,

"I should have seen it coming," Jasper admits, ducking his chin.

"A little foresight goes a long way," Alice agrees.

"Foresight…"

Alice tilts her head. "Yeah! Foresight! You know, like, predicting what will happen in the future? I'm all about foresight, you know? You have to see the writing on the wall, even if the writing is less than spectacular. Don't you agree?"

Jasper doesn't answer. Instead, Jasper turns to her with a certain look in his eye, one that is piercing and burning and holds Alice right in place. It's the second time she's been looked at that way this week, and she likes it even less when Jasper does it.

"Alice…" Jasper pauses, the silence hefty as early bird students continue to filter into the lecture hall. "Are you Foresight?"

Alice gapes at Jasper. "I play Dawn of Warcraft under that handle," she says with some amazement. "How did you know?"

Jasper returns her look of amazement with one of resentment. He scoffs at her. "How did I know? We've only been playing together all month! I can't believe this-"

"Wait!" Alice interjects breathlessly. "Wait, are you Wit Monger?"

Jasper pinches his lips together, and at the same time starts gathering his class materials into his messenger bag, hasty and unkempt in a way he usually isn't. "Some Wit Monger I am," he gripes, shooting her a mean sort of look. "I go in for Swanning, and wind up with you. If I hadn't been so distracted, maybe I could have-"

The early buds of Alice's giddiness are cut away in the next breath.

Alice is admittedly a carefree spirit, but she's smart enough to have gotten into one of the top-rated schools in the country on a scholarship, so she isn't exactly without deductive skills.

And it is painfully easy to put two and two together, now. She has all the facts.

Jasper likes Bella.

Bella likes Masen, and she tells this to Jasper to derail him.

Jasper still likes Bella, so he figures the best way to get close to her is with her interests.

Jasper figures out one of Bella's handles - the Twitch one, the one she only uses once a week - and goes into the game to find her.

Jasper finds Foresight instead.

Jasper forms an in-game marriage with Foresight, for what reason Alice isn't sure. She knows she did it because it opened fun new routes for gameplay. Jasper, she understands now, must have only done it to bide his time until Swanning popped up.

And now that Jasper knows that Alice is Foresight, he doesn't seem thrilled. He seems the opposite, really, and it's a fatal kick to her feminine pride, which has been crushed beneath the heel of her envy over Bella.

But…maybe…

"But isn't it good that we know each other now?" Alice whispers.

Jasper doesn't say anything, just keeps stuffing his book into his thin bag, and maybe that should be answer enough. But sometimes Alice doesn't know when to quit, and right now, seeing how he is, she wants to hold on to something.

So she keeps talking. Like a fool.

"I mean, I know Bella is with Masen now, but I'm sure she'd still want to be friends! She loves gaming, and making friends in the game, and if she knew you were wanting to play with her, I bet she would help you level up and-"

"You talk like you know her," Jasper cuts in tersely. "Do you? Do you know Bella Swan?"

Everyone does, Alice wants to say. But what escapes her mouth instead is this:

"She's my roommate."

Jasper throws his head back and laughs. But it's not nice laughter. It's mocking, maybe directed at himself, even if his words are not. "Of course you are! You just - you just pop up everywhere I don't want you! It's like a talent or something!"

Alice is stung. It hurts to hear because they are words that are meant to be hurtful. All the same, the message is there, clear as day and heard by almost every student in the lecture hall, whose heads swivel to stare back at this loud, one-sided confrontation.

Jasper likes Bella, so he isn't happy to learn that not only has Alice - apparently - stood in the way of his online pursuit, but that Alice had been his foot in the doorway the entire time.

And now that Bella is no longer available, and all these truths are coming out at once, Jasper is lashing out. Alice just happens to be the target, because she's there and she's involved, no matter how unwittingly.

Knowing all of this doesn't make his reaction hurt any less. Actually, it might be worse, because it really twists the knife that it's not Alice he wants - not online and not in real life.

So, is it any wonder when she cries? Is it any surprise that she takes the iced coffee he bought her and upends it on his stupid head? Is it any reason she takes up her bag and high-tails it away from the scene of her humiliation, throwing mean words of her own over her shoulder?

"You're a jerk!" she cries out. "A huge jerk! You don't deserve any happiness! And I hope your shirt stains, you stupid jerk!"

It's not the greatest of scorned-woman tirades, but Alice is not Rose or Leah and she cannot summon a scathing retort at the drop of a hat. Alice is Alice, and Alice is woefully underwhelmed by the way the world has received her this week, so she calls Jasper the name that fits - jerk - and runs away.

Alice cries as she runs through campus, eventually stopping under a large tree in a random courtyard. Later, she might be totally mortified by the way her anger and jealousy and grief rip out of her lungs, too loud for public - but right now, sobbing her emotions out seems like the only thing she can do.

She's so…

Sad. Worse than sad. Disappointed, maybe, and just hurt.

Alice stays under that tree, crying intermittently, until evening falls and she summons the willpower to drag herself back to her dorm. It isn't until the dorm door shuts closed with a bang that Alice realizes she's taken herself back to the source of all her problems.

She is crying when Bella scurries into the room, concern etched on her perfect heart-shaped face, and only cries louder when Bella folds her into a comforting hug.

Jealousy creeps back up again.

Bella. Bella. Bella. It always comes back to Bella!

Alice's internship is because of Bella!

Alice finding Wit Monger is because of Bella!

She's sure even Jasper deciding to be nice is somehow tied back to Bella.

And Alice has had just enough of Bella - but more than that, she's had enough of being compared to Bella and found lacking!

Alice is Alice! Alice can't be Bella, and she would very much like for everyone to stop reminding her of it!

"You!" Alice cries out. She wiggles away, jealousy and misplaced anger gripping her close even as she waves a finger at Bella's confused expression. "It's all your fault! Why do you have to be so…so…So Bella all the time! There's not enough air in the room for the rest of us!"

"Alice, what are you-?"

"It can't be enough that you're the prettiest and the smartest, is it? You have to be the most talented, too! You have to be the one that everyone wants!"

"I don't understand! What are you talking about?" Bella demands, olive eyes wide as she watches Alice spiral through a breakdown.

"I'm talking about you and how I'm so sick of not measuring up to you! You're Bella Swan! You already have everything, but it doesn't matter! You get to have more than you need, you even get to have the things you don't want! And me? What do I get?" Alice laughs mirthlessly. "I get tricked and punished for just being there! I get to be compared to you and I get to wallow in your glorious shadow!"

Bella's face reddens. "I don't know what you're talking about!" she says loudly, not quite a shout but near enough. "If you would just tell me what has you so upset, I could-"

"You! I'm upset about you!" Alice cries out. "I'm upset that I'm not you! And I never will be! And today I found out that whatever I am is not enough! You still get to win no matter what I do!"

"Alice-"

"I can't even look at you anymore!" Alice shouts, squeezing her eyes shut and turning away. "I don't want to be around you! I don't want to be reminded how inadequate I am! I'm done with being compared with you! Done!"

Bella doesn't say anything. The room is filled with Alice's crying and Bella's quiet breaths, and it goes on like that for a while.

Eventually, though, Bella does speak, and when she does, her voice is muted, careful. She talks the same way Mama does when she's trying not to spook one of the feral cats in the neighborhood.

"You don't need to worry about me anymore, then," Bella says quietly. "I'll just go. You can stay and I'll go, and then you won't have to be around me. Okay?"

Alice keeps crying, but now the tears are about something else. She just doesn't have the words to put together what they're about, exactly, but she knows that these tears are different.

Even though she's not looking, Alice can very clearly hear the distinct click of Bella's laptop closing and the rustle of clothes being shoved into a backpack and the shuffle of feet on the floor. Alice listens as Bella walks to the door, pauses, and says, "I'm sorry, Ali, for whatever it was I did…"

And then Bella leaves, a soft click of the door the only sound of her departure, and Alice crumples down in the middle of the common room.

She knows what these new tears are, now.

Regret.

Oh, Alice regrets so much what she just said to her innocent best friend -

But with those words out in the world, Alice doesn't know if they can ever be taken back.

The irony of the whole thing is awful - because just like Jasper, Alice lashed out at someone who didn't deserve a lashing. Bella is innocent in all of this, a mere bystander, and Alice is awful for intentionally hurting her.

Alice can only cry harder.

Jasper W
Can we talk?
In person?
I want to apologize

Alice B
Forget about it
Don't talk to me anymore

Jasper W
Alice
Come on
Just hear me out
Alice?
Alice?
Please Alice?

Alice B
(read 2:21AM)

Jasper W - Edit Contact

Name: Jasper W

Nickname: Jerkface

Display nickname as contact name - Yes

Alice, curled up in bed, alone in the dorm suite that seems too quiet now, lets her phone fall onto the floor, She turns over in bed, hugs her knees to her chest, and squeezes her aching eyes closed.

What would Granny say about any of this?

Alice doesn't have to speculate for long. Granny would be so ashamed of Alice's behavior - maybe almost as ashamed as Alice.

A/N: Post 2 of 3 this weekend. Ah, I actually have the perfect meme for this entire chapter and it involves Baby Yoda. How many are sympathetic to Alice? How many are angry about Jasper aka Jerkface? What's going to happen with Bella? Stay tuned!

As always, be brutally honest. I can take it. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay inside. And stand by each other.

~Rae