Dallas, Texas

Feeling around her nightstand in the dark, Sue Ellen flipped the light on and addressed her husband's restlessness, asking, "JR, what's wrong?"

"Nothing", murmuring the word, he was entirely unconvincing and that was concerning.

A lot had happened in the last couple of months and she'd thought she'd handled it badly while he'd been a lot stronger, almost sometimes to the point of appearing too strong and emotionally unaffected. Now, she felt like she was beginning to see things more clearly and her head was in less of a fog while he appeared to be crumbling in front of her eyes.

He was grieving the loss of his mother in his own way, silently, he was working longer hours trying to control something that was out of his control, with little thanks from his father, and although he'd reassured her a month ago that he had eyes for no one but her, sometimes infidelity felt like the obvious answer.

"It's clearly not nothing, you're tossing and turning, you don't usually do that and the last time you did…", pointing out that sleeping was not something he usually struggled with unless something was really weighing on his mind, she wished he'd talk to her. It was easy to understand why he might not naturally tell her what was upsetting him, she'd not exactly been emotionally available in recent months, but she was asking now, directly, just like he'd expressed desire for her to do during their numerous meetings with Doctor Williams.

"I'm just a little stressed. It's nothing for you to worry about. I promise, it's not you or anything you've done, we're fine, our marriage is strong and monogamous, I just have a lot on my mind", quick to ease any potential insecurities she might have, his reassurance did help, but it didn't explain what was bothering him.

"I know you do. I really think we should talk about it, I want to help and I want you to want my help. You know how we get when we stay quiet and don't communicate, it never ends well. One of us will feel isolated and shut out and the other won't realise there's a problem until it's too late. I'm trying here, I don't want to repeat past mistakes", doing her very best to keep their line of communication open, she didn't get the feeling from his facial expression that he was particularly interested in her efforts.

"I know, and I appreciate it", acknowledging that she was trying, he didn't exactly give back what he received from her.

"But…?" when he was quiet and brooding it was difficult to break him out of that state of mind, but she thought it was still worth trying. Eventually he'd have to talk to her and eventually he would, she'd just prefer not to have to wait for that to happen.

"But, I'm just wound up, my head is all over the place. I'm in no state to talk", finishing her sentence, he confirmed what she already knew from lying beside him.

"What would you prefer? Or do you plan to be restless all night?" challenging his reluctance, she waited for him to make a better suggestion than hers. Needing to talk had been a long time coming, she knew it and she was sure he did too. He'd come home late as was becoming his new normal, they'd had dinner and kept the conversation light, mostly discussing her day and upcoming plans, specifically Halloween arrangements she'd made with Jenna and Charlie knowing that this year John Ross would be able to walk around for trick-or-treating, then they'd read for a little while and headed off to bed. The evening had been comfortable and as he hadn't seemed to be too distressed she hadn't pushed him on how his day had been, but now, now he was obviously fighting his thoughts and ignoring his antsiness wasn't so easy.

"Well if you're offering, you could help me out a bit", laying his hand on her hip, he moved his thumb back and forth as he made a presumptuous suggestion.

"Is that what's on your mind?" genuinely surprised that he was thinking about being intimate with her when he'd not initiated anything in the time they'd been lying beside each other in bed, she didn't realise how she must have sounded to him until he chuckled and remarked, "you don't have to seem so uninterested".

"I'm just surprised, it's late, I was ready to sleep", aware she'd just suggested they talk and that was a far more involved activity than sleeping, her previous intentions still made sense to her; sex had been the last thing on her mind and as much as she loved him, sometimes she needed a little time to adjust her perspective.

"Contrary to what you seem to think, I'm not looking to expend a whole lot of energy, just relax a little, then maybe we can talk", gliding his hand down her hip and over her thigh to the edge of her nightgown, he dangled the information she sought in front of her, conveniently linking it to their physical relationship.

"You have an interesting way with words", getting the impression from what he said that he wanted one thing from her, the way he touched her made her question his intentions. He was doing his best to cajole her, to make her want him, but if all he wanted was to relax and put forth minimal effort, one of them was going to be disappointed.

"I'll have a better way with words with a clear head", explaining nothing, he chuckled again and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her atop him, his budding excitement becoming apparent as she settled into her new position.

"That wouldn't be difficult, you're not being very transparent", muttering a response as she sat astride him, she voiced her confusion. Physically he was behaving quite forwardly and with every movement he made, her interest in him grew, but emotionally she was still unsure of what he wanted from her.

Holding eye contact with him, wide awake now, she continued, "I can't figure out whether you want this", pausing to lean down to kiss him on the lips, then slithering down the bed to emphasise her next point, asking, "or something else?"

Completely confident that he enjoyed her any way she offered herself to him, she would've preferred that he communicate a little clearer with her about what part of her he was seeking, but as they'd already established, communication wasn't a strength of his tonight. A month ago they'd been in a similar situation, but this was different, it felt different.

"Well honey, since you're down there now, it'd be a shame to waste the opportunity", grinning at her, he gave her his answer.

"You could've just asked", shaking her head, she laughed and pointed out that she was happy to assist him with his needs without taking the long way around if that was truly what he felt he needed or wanted.

She couldn't say the particular activity he was asking her to perform was her favourite thing to do, personally she preferred a more mutually satisfactory experience, but it wasn't bad, and if it was what he thought would help him to relax and lead into opening up to her then she'd gladly participate.

"I'm asking now", propping his pillow up behind him, he brushed a hand through her hair and confirmed his request, and with that, she moved forward, pushing past her uncertainty that it was really the fix he claimed it to be.

Not long after, following their quick encounter, one that didn't sit high on the list of satisfying experiences for her but had apparently been everything he'd needed, she quickly brushed her teeth again and returned to their bedroom, surprised when she discovered JR had fallen asleep in the couple of minutes she'd been absent.

Slipping back into bed, she reflected on the evening. There had been no doubt that JR had had something on his mind, but what that something was she still didn't really know. He'd told her they'd talk afterwards, that first he needed to relax, the problem was, she didn't understand how her helping him relax the way she had related to the situation, if it did at all. She knew he liked to work problems out in the bedroom, but usually he didn't go about it in quite the same way he had earlier. Perhaps something was different, or perhaps she was overthinking it, she didn't know and his state was not helping her find clarity.

Lying beside him, this time their roles were reversed, he was peacefully asleep and she was restless, and she didn't like it any better than she had earlier.

To be continued…