Dallas, Texas

Running her hand over the soft cashmere throw blanket on display Sue Ellen glanced at Jenna who was doing the same a few feet away, then continued, "I just don't know what's going on with him right now. I understand he's busy and stressed about work, but he's always had a stressful job and it's been a long time since he's behaved the way he has been".

She'd felt earlier that shopping for decor for Jenna's new home might have been a good distraction from her problems, but now, perusing the instore displays, her mind was still focused on what was going on in her life rather than what colours would look best with Jenna's interiors.

"Is that what he says when you ask him about it? That it's work?" moving along the shelf to examine another blanket, Jenna enquired about what JR himself had said about the situation.

"Yes, that is when he tells me anything at all. Half the time I have to ask him to talk to me, otherwise he's quiet. He's still brilliant with John Ross, he's so attentive and engaged, but our relationship is another story entirely. I'm trying to communicate with him but it's difficult when he's locked away in his head", giving Jenna a deeper explanation, she wished it weren't true, but it was. She and JR had had what felt like a brilliant marriage for a long time now, but it seemed to be coming to an end and she didn't understand why.

"He's probably just upset about Miss Ellie", making an empathetic suggestion, unfortunately, Jenna's assumption was unlikely to be correct.

"That might be part of it, but I don't think it's all. He was already behaving strangely before Miss Ellie passed, he said it was work then too but it turned out to be a situation that wasn't quite infidelity but brushed a little too close to that subject for my liking. It doesn't feel the same now, but what if it is?", clarifying the timeline a little, she confessed too about what she feared most, that JR had grown bored or frustrated with her and had decided to seek comfort elsewhere. Infidelity was not something he was incapable of and although he denied it now her intuition was still telling her there was something off about their interactions. He could just simply be stressed at work and overwhelmed by all of the events that had occurred in their personal lives recently, but she still wasn't entirely sure and asking him about it didn't clear her mind anywhere near as much as she would have liked.

"Do you really think that?" frowning, Jenna didn't offer her opinion.

"I don't know what to think", completely confused, she tried her best to think it over again. JR had been distant, stressed, staying late at work and going back and forth on what he sought from their conjugal relationship, giving her a feeling that perhaps he was playing away, however, he also spent all of his free time with her, willingly attended appointments with Doctor Williams and often showed flashes of his old, exuberant self. There was a possibility he was being unfaithful but there was also a strong possibility that he was just in a period of life where there was a lot going on and with so many things to focus on, not everything was done to the same high standards she expected.

"Do you still feel the way you did after Pam died?" asking yet another question of her, Jenna's lack of opinion on the situation surprised her. Usually Jenna had a lot to say for herself, but today she was quiet, much like JR.

Thinking about the question, her perspective shifted a little. She'd been in a strange headspace after Pam's loss and then Miss Ellie's loss and now she was beginning to emerge from that, so it wasn't entirely impossible that both JR and Jenna were experiencing the same thing, not behaving like themselves because things were so unsettled at the moment.

"I'm not grieving in the same way if that's what you're asking", answering the question, it felt good to verbalise her feelings. She'd been through three grieving periods in recent months, with the miscarriage, Pam's loss and then Miss Ellie's loss she'd had a lot to process but now she was beginning to feel less weighed down, the only problem was JR was on a different path to her.

"I'm glad to hear that, but I was actually talking about JR, how you thought he was too unemotional about the situation and your feelings about potentially having a difficult pregnancy", bringing up her previous concerns, Jenna reminded her of just how complicated her thoughts had been when she was in the midst of an emotional time.

Sighing, she answered the question as best she could, "yes and no. I believe him when he says he'd care if he lost me but his recent behaviour still doesn't lead me to believe he's entirely focused on our marriage. That being said, we haven't really spoken about that subject recently and I'm more curious about his real behaviour now than his hypothetical behaviour. I think he probably is stressed at work, but it feels like more than that, I can't describe it, I just feel it. He told me once that he couldn't keep up with my moods but I'm having trouble keeping up with his too".

Setting the blanket she was holding back down on the shelf, Jenna was silent for a moment, then shocked her when she responded, "perhaps you need to stop trying so hard to analyse him and just let him be, like he did for you. Maybe you should just step back and put your relationship second for a bit".

Taken aback by the suggestion that she just ignore her problems in hopes they'd go away, she was sure her tone was less than friendly, but she couldn't help herself, answering, "somehow I doubt that our relationship coming second is a good idea in any sense".

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just, don't you think that pushing JR to share everything before he's ready might end up pushing him further away?" offering her opinion, Jenna's perspective brought her no comfort.

"I feel like we're at a point in our marriage where it shouldn't, and if it does then that's something we'll have to figure out. I'm not going to abandon him, ever", firm in her beliefs, she appreciated that Jenna was trying to help, but she had no problem telling her that she completely disagreed. She would keep trying to get through to JR and if she couldn't do it alone then she'd ask someone they both trusted to provide clarity, Doctor Williams, not Jenna.

To be continued…