[chapter_24]
"So, tell me about Emmett."
Bella stares a Rose for a long moment, trying to parse the request. Slowly, the stylus in her hand lowers to her lap, safely away from the sensitive surface of her borrowed tablet, as Bella regards her friend.
Rose has on her no-nonsense face. It's the same one she wears when she helps Bella balance her bank account or demolishes them all with random trivia games. Bella struggles to catch up. She isn't sure what's prompted this demand, because the last she knew, Rose was more or less annoyed by Emmett. Maybe, if she's charitable, she can say that Rose was bemused by him, or even somewhat entertained in the same way people are entertained by small children.
Something has changed. Bella isn't sure what, but she can recognize that glint in Rose's eye, the one that says she won't be going anywhere until she gets what she wants. And in a battle of wills, Rose will always beat Bella.
Bella blacks out the screen of the tablet, shifting to sit up straighter, not that a bean bag chair exactly facilitates it. "What do you want to know?"
"What's his deal?" Rose asks.
"His…deal?"
Rose purses her lips together, glancing up at the ceiling in thought. "What does he do?"
"Well, he's the CFO for Midnight Sun," Bella says, which is something she's pretty sure Rose already knows.
Rose gives Bella a flat stare that confirms just how unhelpful Bella is being. "And what else? What's his thing? His major? His hobby? His weird habit?" Rose fires off quickly. "Does he date around?"
That last question makes something ping in the back of Bella's mind.
Bella blinks. Is Rose interested in Emmett? It's not impossible, exactly, but Rose doesn't exactly do relationships. She has an occasional fling, usually near the winter since she says having a boyfriend at Christmas keeps her warm, but mostly Rose is dedicated to two things: college and her friends. But by all means, this little interrogation certainly seems like Rose has found a new avenue for her attention - and Bella isn't quite sure what to make of it. Having watched them on Saturday, Bella is almost certain that Rose would eat Emmett alive if they actually dated, and Emmett wouldn't complain about it one bit.
She feels a dim thread of concern for Emmett now. But that doesn't mean she won't answer Rose's questions.
"Emmett is a happy guy," Bella says slowly, thoughtfully. She's spent enough time with Emmett over the summer that she has a good grasp on his character, so that's what she tries to communicate to Rose, who is listening intently. "He has a straightforward nature, I think, and he's generally very honest and helpful. He's smart. He understands the theory of computer mathematics better than I could ever dream to. He deals with the budgeting at Midnight Sun and Masen seems to think he does a good job…"
Rose lifts her brows expectantly. "What else?"
Bella huffs. "Can't you just ask him yourself?"
"No," Rose says bluntly. "Keep going."
Bella barely refrains from rolling her eyes, but she does go on the answer the rest of Rose's questions to the best of her ability. "His thing, I think, is bickering with Alistair and Peter, since that's what he seems to spend a lot of time doing, but he also games a lot, like Masen. He was in the top 10 dueling list for the longest time, although…maybe that's not what you want to know?" Bella ventures as Rose's lips thin.
Rose shakes her head.
"He majored in Computational Mathematics Engineering," Bella says.
"Sounds hard," Rose comments with interest.
"Well, it's definitely not easy," Bella returns, ever-so-glad she doesn't need to take any of those advanced classes for her own majors. The basics are quite enough for her, thanks.
"What about weird habits?" Rose presses.
Bella shrugs helplessly, shaking her head. "He's a man in his twenties," she says plainly. "All of his hobbies are weird to me."
"Like?"
"I've heard, from Peter, the kind of things Emmett likes to keep under his mattress," Bella says with a blush. Bella hadn't wanted to know, but Peter talks without thinking most of the time - and of course, in the same breath, he'd alluded to the things he keeps under his mattress, too, while also lamenting the lack of manly things Masen apparently does not hoard.
Strangely - and mortifyingly, because Bella very much does not want to know this about her friend - Rose's expression shifts to intrigue as she sits back in the bean bag chair. "Emmett McCarty…" Rose muses, a glimmer in her eye, one Bella recognizes.
"Don't break his heart," Bella pleads. "He's so nice, like an overgrown teddy bear."
Rose smirks. "What do you think I'm going to do to him?"
Bella squints.
"Do you think he's a virgin?"
"Rose!"
Rose laughs loudly, tossing her head back. "Don't worry," she says when her laughter dies down. "Emmett is a big boy. He can take care of himself."
"Maybe," Bella agrees, a fretting frown tugging at her lips. "But not when it's you. You're his, you know, Aphrodite. Just…"
Rose sobers completely at that, her eyes lowering in thought. "I'm just curious," Rose says after several moments, her blue gaze tepid.
Bella nods. "Okay."
"I'll be coming with you on Friday," Rose tells her. "See if I can sate some of this curiosity, you know? Besides, the opportunity for real-world experience is too good to miss."
"Don't you have class?" Bella wonders.
Rose waves her hand dismissively. "The TA is scheduled this week and he never does anything but drone on about his dissertation. I won't be missing anything."
Bella's lips twist in amusement. "In that case, I'll be happy to take you and Alice with me."
Rose smiles, a gentler one than usual. "Alright, then. Good talk. I'll buzz off, now, since you're busy being a workaholic."
"Takes one to know one," Bella volleys back, and they both laugh.
Rose ventures to her room, leaving the common room empty except for Bella and her thoughts. Bella can't help but think over the conversation, biting the inside of her lip. This doesn't feel the same as any of the other flirtations she has seen Rose explore, but whether that's because Rose is lukewarm to Emmett or because Bella is feeling a little protective of the sweet-natured feminist she's come to regard as a close friend, she isn't sure. Maybe a bit of both. In any case, the prospect of her friend group blending this closely is - well.
Bella briefly wonders if she finds this development more or less concerning than Leah and Peter's apparent friendship, which is a frankly horrifying idea.
She figures she has a right to be a little nervous, knowing who the all players are.
Maybe she should give Masen a warning. And Emmett a heads-up.
Midnight Sunners (Group Chat)
The Intern
I'm bringing in our
consultations tomorrow
Peter Programmer
YAY!
We're getting guests!
Boys, make sure to wear
deodorant
The CFO
You're the only one who needs
that reminder
Peter Programmer
I do not
Also
Why do you think I put it here?
The CFO
I think a brain cell just died
The Intern
We'll be in around 9
Graphic Grinch
Make sure your friend is
quiet
Dealing with Peter in the morning
is hard enough
Peter Programmer
Fuck you, Al!
The Intern
Alice is excited
She'll be on her best behavior
Lame Not Liam
Not sure what she can tell us
We know how to animate clothes
Call Me Chuckie
Yeah, but you have to admit
Our designs are a bit basic
Like
Only Drink Pumpkin Spice basic
Lame Not Liam
I'm not rising to your bait
ALSO pumpkin spice is good
so fuck you a little bit
Call Me Chuckie
bAsIC
Graphic Grinch
A consult is a consult
We may not adopt ideas
The Intern
I'm starting to think I should tell
you guys to be nice to her
Lame Not Liam
I'm nice!
Call Me Chuckie
Well…
Lame Not Liam
Shut up you don't get to talk
The Intern
Please be nice to my friend
Graphic Grinch
If any of you are sods
I'll reassign your favorite project
The CFO
Damn, Al
That's cold
Peter Programmer
Cold?
It's inspiring
Hey The Boss
The Boss
The Boss
The Boss
What
The CFO
You should learn from Al
Take notes
He punishes by taking work away
Not by giving more
The Boss
So you don't think more work
is a punishment?
I see
Peter Programmer
Wait
WAIT NO
That's not what I meant!
Lame Not Liam
Did anyone else see that coming?
Call Me Chuckie
Look at his face
(Picture Attachment: Peter staring
at his phone in dismay, while K.O.
stands behind him, stooped over
to read the screen, stone-faced)
Peter Programmer
God damn it
Graphic Grinch
You'll learn one day
The Intern
Lol
Peter Programmer
You!
Rein in your boyfriend!
He's a menace!
He's menacing us!
The Intern
He was just giving you what
you want!
Peter Programmer
You're a menace too
You deserve each other
Call Me Chuckie
Sounds like a compliment
to me dude
Lame Not Liam
Oh look
He's flipping you off across
the room
And now you're doing it too
Very mature, guys
The Boss
Get back to work
Graphic Grinch
That was fast
They're so well trained
The CFO
Anyway!
Now that that's over!
Did you say consults
Bella, did you say consults?
As in more than one person
The Intern
Rose is coming in, too
She's done some research
that she wants to show you
and Masen
She's excited too
The CFO
Oh that's cool
So cool
The coolest
Graphic Grinch
Lord help me
The Intern
Are you okay Emmett?
The CFO
I'm totally fine
I'm great
So great
The greatest
I just have to go do a thing
The Intern
Do I want to know what he's
doing?
Graphic Grinch
No
But I can tell you it's hilarious
To me
My day is so much better now
The Intern
Okay then
See you guys at 9!
Friday morning sees Bella, Alice, and Rose wandering into the muted, controlled chaos of Midnight Sun weighed down with a dozen or so coffee orders and pastries from the bakery a block over.
"I can't believe you made us come bearing gifts," Rose mutters, lips screwed to the side as she balances the pink cardboard box. The front door shuts behind her with a soft click and she looks out to the small, pristine, predominately white lobby with pure judgment.
Bella can see that she looks moderately impressed, as if she had been expecting a run-down interior instead of a modern, open-work office curated by a rising architect and designer. Rose's eyes linger on the potted plants scattered about, one brow ticked upward. Alice, on the other hand, is vibrating in place with a familiar wide-eyed sort of awe, peering around curiously at the visible neon lights and the structure of the kitchen just beyond the lobby. Their polar reactions are completely expected. Bella is so fond, especially when she remembers how adamantly Alice had hounded all of them into semi-professional clothes; Rose in her nicest jeans, suede booties, and a French-tucked maroon button-up, Alice in green tartan trousers and a lightweight knit sweater with an Oxford collar underneath, and Bella in a pleated, burnt orange-and-burgundy floral dress with capped sleeves and brown flats. The chill of autumn is already setting in, inescapable in early morning dew and the cold creeping along floors.
Adjusting her grip on the coffee carrier, Bella shoots Rose a look. "This is what interns do," she says, which is true enough even if Bella hadn't spent a whole lot of her time here on coffee runs. Still, it's the least she could do and it was on the way. The boys will appreciate it. "Here, we'll drop these off in the kitchen, and then I'll show you around."
Alice scampers right at her heels with the other half of the coffee, only a moment behind Bella as they arrange the coffee by flavor. Rose brings the pastry box to the kitchen, popping it open and standing to the side, her arms crossed as she surveys the room.
"They haven't noticed us yet?" Rose asks, with more than a little amazement.
Bella supposes Rose has certain ideas about men in the tech field, mainly that they would all swarm at the first sight of an attractive woman. Well, she's not exactly wrong, but she isn't right, either. Bella looks over the group and sees the focus they have, and says, "Give it a moment. They're in deadline mode."
"Sounds serious," Alice whispers. Her brow furrows. "Will we be interrupting them?"
Bella shakes her head, her eyes landing on Peter's back, which stiffens as his nose rises in the air, apparently catching the scent of coffee. He can be a real caffeine bloodhound, which makes for a convenient way to make introductions. "It's fine," she tells Alice, nodding her head toward Peter, who is standing up, spinning around, and spotting them with an air of unbridled excitement. "He'd be interrupting them at some point, anyway."
Sure enough, Peter crows in delight when he sees them in the kitchen and he, along with the others who spot coffee and mid-morning pastries, descend on the area in record time. Rose snorts, while Alice greets the one she's already met, and Bella fields questions that are tossed her way.
Drawn by the sound, Masen emerges from the back office for a minute, catching her eyes and inclining his head - a silent invitation to join him for a moment, when she has the time. Bella sends him a soft smile, and, just for a moment, glances at the bracelet on her wrist. She still has to decode it. Or rather, be brave enough to decode it. The anticipation makes her both happy and nervous enough to procrastinate when she has never made of habit of procrastination before.
"Let me show you where you'll be helping out," Bella says to Rose and Alice, and they both nod with differing levels of enthusiasm.
"Hey, hey." Peter stops them before they can go too far. "Are you sticking around all day? If we are, we should have dinner! Or lunch! Linner!"
"Garrett's working his food truck today?" Bella asks knowingly.
"Yes!" Peter wails, pouting outrageously. "I miss him - his food, I mean! But he'll come back early if he knows you're here! So, will you be bait? I'm starving!"
Bella bites the inside of her lips to stop herself from smiling. "Of course," she agrees, watching as Peter immediately pulls out his phone to, she assumes, start luring Garrett back to him. Or, supposedly, Garrett's food.
They are only three steps away when Rose looks at her with exasperation. "Does he know?"
Bella shakes her head.
"But…But how can he not know?" Alice whispers in utter bewilderment.
"It's Peter," Bella whispers, shrugging her shoulders. She can't explain it, either. Admittedly, it took her more time to catch on than Masen, but once she's seen it, the extent of Peter's obliviousness is really beyond explanation.
"And he's in charge of what, here?"
"Programming," Bella answers Rose's question.
"Better that than the money," Rose mutters.
Bella presses her lips together, fighting a smile. "He's smarter than he seems," she defends, before acknowledging the real point. "But he is a bit…"
Alice and Rose nod in tandem.
"Anyway!" Bella says brightly, stopping at the edge of the open office floor. She beams, giving a quick run-down of the office. "This is Midnight Sun. It's pretty casual here, lots of collaboration. You've seen the kitchen and the lobby, and over there are the stairs to the apartments; obviously, don't go up there unless you're invited. Here," she gestures broadly to the open space and cluster of desks behind her. "You can find your department by following the signs, and back there is the conference room and Masen's office. If he's on the phone, wait to see him."
"We won't bother your man," Rose says, rolling her eyes.
Bella flushes. "That's not what I meant -"
"No need to lie," Rose teases.
"I think it's sweet," Alice asserts. "You're protective of his time! It's so cute!"
"And what is that?" Rose asks, leaning over to see Bella's swan-enshrined desk. Her smirk is nothing short of utterly delighted, much to Bella's resignation. "Did they do this?"
"Oh, that's so nice of them!"
"Nice? It's hilarious. Where did they find all those memes?"
"And the stuffed swan? Darling!"
Bella puffs out her cheeks. "Are you done?" she asks mulishly, wondering if maybe she should have done something about the desk beforehand. But then again, she finds it sweet, too, even if it is a little embarrassing. She waits for them to smother their amusement before she takes a decisive step to the left. "We'll start with you, Rose, since Alice and I need to be in the same place."
Emmett is seated at his computer in the engineering cluster of desks. His back is facing the kitchen and he has a blue headset over his ears, which he occasionally mutters into so he can dictate his notes to the voice detection program he has installed for that express purpose. So he doesn't realize that they have arrived until Bella taps his shoulder. He looks up, still muttering, and smiles at her - and then he catches sight of Rose behind her and freezes, eyes round as saucers. For a moment, he does nothing. And then, he bursts into alarming movement, standing and pushing away from his desk without realizing the length of his headset cord, which jerks him backward until the headset yanks off his head and clatters onto the ground. His face goes immediately red and he stammers.
"Good morning, Emmett," Bella says helpfully. Maybe if she pretends all of that didn't just happen, he'll get back to some semblance of normalcy? It's possible. She smiles at him. "I've brought Rose here for that consultation."
"Yeah. H-hi, how are you - I mean, good morning!" Emmett says, darting his eyes between Rose and the floor. He ducks down to pick up his headset, which he fiddles with nervously.
Bella casts Rose a side-long glance and Rose smoothes her expression out from the calculating stare she had been giving him into something more serious and focused. "I have a few ideas for your investment portfolio," she says briskly. "Do you have time to discuss?"
Emmett nods his head jerkily. "I have all the time in the world for you!" he says earnestly. And then, seeming to realize what he's said, he hastens to add, "And investments! I have so much time for investments. For the company. For investing in the company."
Rose's expression doesn't shift that much, but Bella knows her well enough to read the amusement glimmering in that blue gaze. Her friend very much looks like the cat that ate the canary and Bella spares a moment to wish Emmett luck, because he has no idea what's headed for him. Alice seems to think the same thing because she shoots Bella a worried look, to which Bella can only roll her shoulders.
"We'll be over in graphics if you need us," she says to Rose, looping her arm through Alice's elbow. "Have fun," she adds, but what she means is be nice.
Rose flips her hair over her shoulder and sits down at the desk next to Emmett's, pulling out the folder she had tucked into her tote bag. "Let's get started," she says, and Emmett nearly brains himself trying to sit down so quickly.
Bella really hopes Rose knows what she's doing. And also that Emmett will survive this encounter.
Turning away, she leads Alice across the room. "Your turn," she says.
Alice grins. "I'm ready!"
Bella pats her hand. "You already know Alistair, and he's the head of this department. Graphics takes a democratic approach to our projects, but he and Masen have final say. It's possible your ideas might not be used in the demo or at all."
"That's fine," Alice says breezily. "I'm happy to help, if I can."
"We really could use some insight on the clothing design," Bella says honestly, shaking her head, thinking about what the four of them have managed to come up with so far. They can draw and animate the clothing just fine, but as Charles is so prone to saying, their designs are all basic, all things that have been seen before. Something new and, preferably, historically accurate would be nice for a change.
"I already have some ideas," Alice assures her.
Alice's ideas, it turns out, are gathered in a little portfolio, where she has created clothing designs that would be appropriate for the multi-national, pseudo feudal era alternate dimension in which DOW2 takes place. At first glance, Bella is impressed; living with Alice for going on three years, she knows the kind of clothes Alice designs and produces, and even though Alice's major is more in-line with the design that Esme might do, especially if rendered on a computer, Bella can clearly see where Alice has applied her understanding of design elements to these designs. The clothing ideas are impressive, to say the least. Much better than anything the graphics department has come up with. Of course, the designs are also a lot more complex and, considering the action-adventure nature of the game, probably impractical for some animation, and that is where the members of the graphics department begin to have differing opinions.
Charles is delighted by the complexity and spends several minutes picking Alice's brain about her historical references and how certain designs might like with armor over-top, which Alice is more than happy to quickly sketch the idea out to see. Liam, on the other hand, takes some issue with the fact that the designs are so detailed; he argues that it would be impossible to render anything so complex, especially the differentiation of fabric and the patterns of the clothing. This leads to a surprisingly intense argument that Bella didn't think Alice capable of - it goes so far as to Alice insisting Liam scooch over so I can show you how it's done, and before anyone can say otherwise, Alice is proving why she continues to gain her scholarships each quarter. Bella thinks she is right to assume that Alice's new fascination with playing Dawn of Warcraft has benefited any classes she has where she is using software for design.
"What do you think?" Bella asks Alistair, leaning over so her voice doesn't carry.
Alistair is watching the screen intently over Liam's shoulder, absently rubbing his atrophied wrist, which has only just been freed from its cast during the week. He has a frown slanted across his fair features, pale eyes narrowed in thought. "It could work," he decides. "Not all players are going to have constant battles or quests, as we're fleshing out the life functions to broaden our player reach. Certainly, some of the more complicated designs can be used for this purpose."
"Options are never a bad thing," Bella agrees.
"The armor will need some work," Alistair continues. "And Liam is right that some fabric details will be difficult to render in constant detail – although, if Masen and K.O. succeed in their selective optimization, it might be possible..."
This is the first Bella is hearing about any optimization, but she knows now isn't the time to ask questions. She'll have to remember to quiz Masen later, as it sounds like he's taking on a special kind of project. The fact that it's just Masen and Garrett working on it makes her think that this optimization project is going to be truly revolutionary.
"You're not listening to me," Liam says heatedly, prodding the screen of the computer.
Alice lightly smacks his hand away and swivels around to pout up at him. "And you're not listening to me! A variety of colors is always more appealing. You, for example, would do really well to wear a color other than sky blue. It washes you out!"
Liam sputters incoherently and Charles barks out a laugh, almost falling over. "She sure told you!"
"Shut up!" Liam says loudly. "Blue does not wash me out!"
"Oh, honey," Alice says sadly, shaking her head.
Alistair sighs, then looks at Bella. "Will you go fetch Masen? If we're contracting these designs, then we'll need his approval. And compensation."
Bella casts an eye over the graphics department and nods, pleased that Alice's efforts won't be going to waste. "I'll be back, then," she says and trots off, weaving through the departments to make her way to Masen's department.
She sees that everyone is busy, already fully immersed in this Volturi demo. There are a few, maybe, who are still streamlining Menagerie for its release in a few weeks, but the majority are definitely on newer, more difficult projects. She can tell from the stressed, lost expressions. Actually, outside of the graphic's team, it seems like only Emmett and Rose have not been caught up in the rush of deadline demands. Bella doesn't linger, but as she passes by the engineering desks, she can hear Emmett gently – albeit stutteringly – explaining some convoluted higher maths theory to Rose, all without Rose making the face she does when someone is mansplaining to her.
Bella really, really wants to know what's happening there – but she's sure she'll find out later, one way or another. Probably from Emmett, if anything.
In the back office, Masen and Garrett are huddled over a stack of graphing paper, muttering to each other with a lot of head shaking and solemn expressions. Their optimization project? She doesn't want to interrupt, because she knows how frustrating it can be to be caught in the middle of a thought and pulled away, but she's also been sent on an errand and Masen is more forgiving to Alistair, even if Alistair gives Bella twice as much patience as he gives anyone else. So she knocks on the door, just a quick rap, and smiles slightly when two sets of serious eyes rise to meet her.
"Alistair needs you," she explains simply.
Masen nods and looks to Garrett. "Get started," he says, and then he rises to meet Bella at the door of the office. Maybe to other people his expression would be as characteristically blank as usual, but Bella can read his microexpressions well enough by now to see the softening in his flinty gaze when he looks at her. She can also hear the gentleness in his voice when he speaks. "Is there a problem?"
Bella shakes her head, brushing her knuckles across the back of his hand briefly. They leave Garrett behind at Masen's computer, where his fingers are already flying across the keyboard as he presumably starts whatever project he and Masen are working on. "It's nothing urgent," she tells Masen. "Alistair just wants your approval for some things."
Masen makes a noise of comprehension and, right in front of everyone, links their pinkies together as they traverse the length of the office. Nobody is paying them any mind, really, but she feels her cheeks heat up anyway, just slightly. She pointedly ignores the smug tilt to his lips, especially as it only lingers a moment before they arrive at the graphics department and he is swiftly immersed in Alistair's requests. Bella doesn't add any input here, being an intern, but she does exchange an excited glance with Alice, who seems both pleased and relieved that some of her recommendations are being adopted into the game. This is something that will look very good on her CV, later - even better than the Denali internship, really.
Masen, evidently trusting in Alistair's judgement, quickly approves Alice's consultation and indicates that he will put this consultation on the payroll within a few hours. He turns to leave, but instead of dropping her pinky, Masen instead shifts his hold to weave their hands together and says, "A moment?"
Surprised, Bella can only nod and allow herself to be guided out of the office completely. Masen takes them outside, where they stand under the chill noon-day sun for a while, holding hands and basking in companionable silence.
"My mom wants to have lunch," Masen says after a while.
Bella squeezes his hand, inhaling sharply. "Oh," she says dimly. It's an official meeting of the parents – she has no doubt that this time she will be meeting Anne Cullen rather than Professor Cullen, and also probably Masen's father, too. She breathes out and squeezes his hand again. "Okay, then. Lunch sounds...good."
Masen lifts a brow. "Does it?"
"Sure. Lunch is great. Almost as good as dinner." Bella pauses, considers that dinner would be much more formal than a simple lunch, and hastens to add, "Actually, lunch is much better than dinner!"
Masen is smirking at her, seemingly amused with her sudden bout of nerves. "I can tell her the semester is too busy for you," he offers.
Bella shakes her head in denial. "I want to have lunch with your parents," she says determinedly. After all, the anticipation will only get worse the longer she puts it off – and anyway, she's already acquainted with Professor Cullen, and anyone who could raise Masen to be so Masen surely has to be good, nice people. Carlisle Cullen is nice, too, and she didn't have any trouble meeting him.
Still...maybe she could use some advice. She knows just where to go, too.
"I'll arrange it, then," Masen says coolly. He draws her closer to him, tugging on her hand and looping his free arm around her waist. Seeing the familiar spark in his gaze, Bella tilts her chin up to meet the soft, lingering kiss he gives her.
She doesn't think It's her imagination to think this kiss says thank you. She tries to make sure her kiss says you're welcome, closing her eyes and leaning into him with complete trust.
Future Sis in Law
Esme!
I need your advice!
Role Model Esme
You've come to the right place
How can I help?
Future Sis in Law
Professor Cullen wants to have lunch!
Role Model Esme
Say no more
I completely understand
And I have a plan
Future Sis in Law
You do?
Already?
Role Model Esme
Well, I was going to invite you
out anyway to meet Kebi now
that she's back in town
It's a perfect opportunity to prime
you for a meeting of the parents
Future Sis in Law
If you say so
Role Model Esme
(Share: Location pin drop)
Meet us here on Saturday at 1
Wear something to impress parents
We'll take it from there
Future Sis in Law
thank you thank you thank you
"I'll tell you your first mistake," Esme says right off the bat, before Bella can even sit down at the table Esme had reserved for them. Swirling the golden liquid of her mimosa in its glass, Esme runs an eye over Bella, from head to toe. "You're trying too hard," Esme decides.
Bella is, admittedly, wearing some of the nicest clothes she has, courtesy Alice and Rose, who had taken the liberty of dressing her for this trial run while Leah recorded it all and laughed in the background. It isn't that her dress or shoes are formal, or even that her hair is done up in a fashion suitable to a cocktail party, but Bella feels a little uncomfortable in the clothes. The moment she put them on, she knew it wasn't right - but she also had the thought that trying hard was a good thing when trying to make a good impression on her boyfriend's parents.
Apparently Esme disagrees.
Motioning for Bella to sit down, Esme continues. "You aren't going to church, you're just trying to introduce yourself. Dressing in a way that isn't natural to you isn't going to leave the right impression, and anyway, if you aren't dressed as yourself, then you can't act like yourself either."
Bella deflates. "Then what do I wear? How do I act? What should I order?" she frets.
"Just do whatever makes you comfortable. Anne and Thomas are good people – maybe a little to mired in respecting the elderly – but all they really care about is the fact that Masen cares about you," Esme tells her firmly.
"Look at you," a mellifluous voice muses from behind them. The woman attached to the voice is a slinky, fierce-featured beauty of obvious Middle Eastern descent with warm, caramel-hued skin and a wild tumble of coiled curls bouncing around her high cheekbones. She wears a sensible green canvas jacket with a cranberry red satin camisole and vividly patterned harem pants with a design that looks plucked straight out of Egypt. The woman, presumably Kebi, sits down beside Esme with lifted brows. "Who knew you were so wise?"
Esme turns her nose up. "I'm the wisest person you know," she says haughtily.
"So all my friends really are dumb," Kebi deadpans.
Bella nearly chokes on her water, especially at Esme's outraged expression.
Kebi ignores Esme and smiles widely, even impishly, at Bella. "But Es is right for once. You don't look comfortable, kid," she says plainly. Kebi holds her hand out over the table, offering a handshake. "You're Bella? I've heard about your excellent aquatic life babysitting skills. Also, you keep a clean house. My room still smells like lavender and lemon."
"I - Thank you," Bella manages. "And thank you for lending your room to me. It's amazing, all the places you've traveled. And photographed."
"Still plenty more places to go and see," Kebi says casually.
Esme, smoothing her hair behind her ear, adds, "Kebi will be a globetrotter forever."
"Can I help if I have a wandering spirit?"
"I'm more worried about your wandering libido," Esme replies dryly.
Kebi makes a face. "If you're talking about Amun, then I still haven't forgiven him. What decade to we live in that he thinks our parents can really decide who we marry and how many kids we have and when we can have sex?" Kebi demands, and then, catching Bella's wide-eyed look of confusion, quickly explains that she and her long-time boyfriend have had a huge disagreement about premarital sex, mostly because Amun's family is traditional and Kebi is decidedly not. "Virginity," Kebi says passionately. "Is an arbitrary heteronormative social construct designed to reinforce misogyny and patriarchy. Even if I love him, his parents and their opinions can stay out of my bed."
"I see," Bella says faintly.
Esme giggles. "Do your problems meeting the parents suddenly seem less worrisome?"
"Yes," Bella says, instant and honest. As far as she knows, the Cullens aren't going to try to insert themselves into her and Masen's slow-burning sex life, and thank God for that, because Bella is already consumed with nerves – and excitement – about that without adding additional pressure.
Virginity is an arbitrary heteronormative social construct. Well, that much Bella can agree with, wholeheartedly and without a doubt. She hasn't ever put too much emphasis on her virginity, given that her hymen can break from something as simple as a bike crash. And Bella has had plenty of accidents since childhood.
She wonders if she and Masen are on the same page with this, as well.
"If you want my advice," Kebi says as she picks up the menu to start browsing the brunch menu, which is still available for another hour. "Don't worry about the parents. Worry about how important the parents are to your partner. Don't make my mistake."
"Amun isn't a mistake," Esme argues gently.
"No, he isn't," Kebi agrees with a sigh, appearing somewhat dejected. "He's just..."
It sounds like an old conversation, one Esme and Kebi have had frequently. Listening to them, watching them is like looking into a mirror of how Bella and her own friends are. She takes comfort in the fact that this kind of close friendship can still be had even well into adulthood.
"I want to make a good impression," Bella tells them after they have already ordered. She's already salivating for the huevos rancheros she ordered and contents herself with picking apart one of the complimentary muffins on the table.
"First impressions are bullshit," Kebi says decisively.
"What she means is that bad first impressions are permissible. They happen," Esme says gently. "You can fix a bad first impression, so It's okay to be nervous."
Bella looks at her with a worried pout.
Esme sighs. "Alright, I get it. I wasn't nearly this zen when it was my turn."
"It's true, I was there for it. She threw a shoe at me," Kebi divulges.
"You were goading me!" Esme says defensively. She huffs and looks squarely at Bella, ignoring the way Kebi is laughing at them both. "What kind of advice can I offer, hm? Talk about what you know. Don't try to reign in your normal personality. Interact with Masen as you normally would."
"So, just be myself?" Bella questions flatly as their food arrives.
Esme lifts her shoulders. "Essentially, yes. Don't think about it too much," she advises.
"There's nothing you can do about the way other people see you," Kebi adds. "So there's really not much use worrying about it."
"Truer words have never been spoken," Esme declares, delicately unrolling her utensils from a fabric napkin, which she spreads across her lap. She's the only one at the table who bothers to do so.
Don't think about it too much, Bella repeats to herself, mulling it over as she breaks the egg yolk and spoons up her food. It's good advice. It's probably the best advice she's going to get about this, actually, so she's going to take it to heart. After all, the worst that could happen is that Masen's' parents don't like her – and she doesn't think that would matter too much to Masen.
She glances at the bracelet on her arm and thinks maybe it's about time to decade the binary there. Maybe it will help soothe her nerves.
Two Girls and a Baby (Group Chat)
The Salty One
(Picture Attachment: Change My Mind
meme, reading "siblings are convenient
cannon fodder for parents")
The Sweet One
What's with this meme?
The Salty One
i think it's pretty self explanatory
The Sweet One
No
what it is is worrying
Baby Bro
I'm with sis here
What did you do
The Salty One
Nothing!
I just thought it was funny!
also a good reminder
Baby Bro
so you haven't done anything yet
and you're just warning us about
possible blackmail to get yourself
out of trouble
The Salty One
nailed it!
Good job Seth!
you're not a total idiot afterall!
Baby Bro
Why me
what do you have on me?!
The Sweet One
you got this meme from Peter
didn't you?
Baby Bro
Peter? Who's Peter?
The Salty One
a living meme
The Sweet One
Your closeness makes me
suspicious and worried
The Salty One
He was your friend first!
The Sweet One
Yeah
but i don't conspire with people
Baby Bro
She's got you there
The Salty One
I'm going to get you
and your little dog too
Baby Bro
oh come on!
don't pick on me!
high school is hard enough!
The Salty One
Suck it up chump
The Sweet One
it gets better
The Salty One
don't lie to him!
The Sweet One
I'm not! High school wasn't that bad!
The Salty One
so you say
i was confused all the time
Baby Bro
Same!
I'm also confused!
The Sweet One
I don't think you're confused
about the same things Leah was
Baby Bro
Are we not talking about algebra?
The Sweet One
lol no
The Salty One
So, so innocent
Baby Bro
I'm not innocent!
I know things!
The Salty One
that's true i guess
i have seen your search history
Baby Bro
What
Don't look at my search history
The Salty One
don't leave your browser open then
I take it back you are an idiot
Stupid
Baby Bro
You're such a harpy!
The Salty One
thank you!
it's my one goal in life!
The Sweet One
Wait
Seth
Do you not know how to
clear your search history
Baby Bro
what? of course I do
The Salty One
he doesn't
it's sloppy
The Sweet One
oh Seth
you know dad monitors that right?
Baby Bro
WHAT
The Sweet One
here, I'll send you a link
hold on
The Salty One
Pro tip, dumbass
use incognito
The Sweet One
(Link attachment: How to Clear Your
Internet Cache)
Baby Bro
I can't look dad in the eye
Ever again
The Salty One
You know
he probably told mom, too
Baby Bro
Well
i'm just going to go die now
The Salty One
go out in style!
be original!
The Sweet One
Lol
Baby Bro
you both suck
For most of her life, Bella's friend group has been fairly insular. She grew up attached at the hip with Leah, surrounded by Seth and the La Push boys all the way up until high school; any friends she knew at Forks High, like Angela, were distant, good-for-group-project friends. In college, Bella had surprised herself by forming close relationships with two other girls, but she considers Alice and Rose an exception and credits the fact that they were assigned to room together for the fact that they did grow so close so quickly. Even in the game, she keeps a close tab with only Janeway, treating her other guild members as associates; and the matter with Relentless was merely for convenience. Bella had managed to surprise herself again with how close she has grown to Alistair in particular and considers the rest of Masen's friends close, too. Esme, too, even though that's more a case of hero-worship than anything else.
But throughout the entire history of her friendships, there hasn't ever been a case where two friend circles intersected. Her La Push friends were not friends with her Forks friends; she did not expect that her college friends would blend so well with her friends from Midnight Sun.
And yet, there is irrefutable proof that Leah and Peter have formed some sort of unholy alliance. She thumbs through the Twitter thread full of memes and truly awful puns with a feeling akin to horror – knowing these two personalities, she can only imagine what they're getting up to behind the scenes. Neither Leah nor Peter are the type to keep secrets, either, which means their chatter is almost certainly filled with details about the lives of the people they know.
Bella is glad that Leah is making a new friend because, if anything, Leah is less likely to strike up a friendship than Bella – but she is really, truly leery of any friendship involving Peter's motormouth and Leah's general sense of not giving a single fuck.
The matter with Rose and Emmett, on the other hand, is something else. Bella has no intention of sticking her nose into that at all, although she does hope that Rose keeps in mind that Emmett shouldn't be handled the same way as any of her other boyfriends. She resolves to keep an eye on any developments there, just like she is keeping an eye on Alice.
Alice who, at that very moment, is sighing at her phone with a sappy expression on her elfin face. Alice's phone dings with another message, surely from Jasper considering the way she giggles.
Bella bites her lip, turning away from refining some botanical designs for the Volturi demo, the end of her stylus rapping against the wooden desk. "How's that going?" Bella asks when it appears Alice has sent her reply.
Alice turns wide, utterly besotted eyes up to Bella. "How's what going?"
"Things with Jasper," Bella clarifies. She feels almost nosey to be asking, because it's really not her style or her business, but she persists anyway. It's her duty as Alice's friend to look out for her, so that's what Bella will do. "Is everything...okay? It seems like things are going well..."
Alice gladly takes the hint, setting her phone aside as she wiggles to rest more deeply into her favored bean bag chair. She beams at Bella, a smile brighter than the sun. "Oh, Bella! It's just - he's so -" Alice lets out a gusty sigh, and makes a dreamy sort of expression. "He's so attentive and willing to learn. You know? I was right that he's grown up kind of sheltered and, well, being well-off means he's a little green to the real world. But he is learning quickly! He's changing for the better, and not just because he wants to impress me, I don't think. I think he wants to experience life organically."
Bella nods along, encouraging. "That's good, then. I'm glad he's treating you well."
Alice's smile is sparkling. "We just have different love languages, that's all. I've finally got him to stop giving me coffee unless we're buying it together and we've had a talk about special occasion gifts. I made him listen to The Beatles until he got it," she laughs, totally happy and seemingly content.
Bella smiles, too, imagining Alice forcing Japer to listen to Can't Buy Me Love on repeat until he understood its meaning and how to apply it to his relationship with Alice. "That's one way to teach him," she says with great humor.
"Right?" Alice's giddy smile dims, just for a moment, while she reflects more seriously. "But I know why you're asking. You're worried, right?"
"A bit," Bella admits. She rolls the stylus around in her hand. "Nobody liked seeing you hurt, Ali."
"I'm being careful," she says reassuringly. "And I trust him. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. He's showing that he's capable of learning and – well, I'm not perfect either, am I? We can all stand to learn as we go. That's life."
Bella feels herself gentle at this spark of wisdom, relaxing more fully than she has in several days. "That's life," she agrees because isn't Bella also always learning, too? Learning about herself and life and the people around her?
"Speaking of life," Alice begins with the air of someone about to bite into a juicy secret, and Bella feels a thrill of nerves. She's right to be nervous because Alice returns the favor by pressing on Bella's own romance. "Things with Masen seem like they're getting serious. You know, officially meeting the parents and all."
Bella ducks her head, her cheeks flushing. She twists the slim silver bracelet on her wrist. "Pretty serious," she agrees.
Maybe as serious as she thinks? Are she and Masen really...?
Maybe. Maybe maybe maybe.
She knows that he gave her the bracelet for a reason. She has a feeling that the binary code will read. She understands that this is him, telling her something while also giving her time - a message with no pressure, a message he has sent and is patient enough to receive a reply about. It's all very Masen in that it's all very carefully calculated.
But is it serious? Is it that deep? Bella thinks it is – for her, at least, it is. She just needs to be brave enough to give it a name.
"Have you slept with him yet?"
Bella rears back at the question, and if her face wasn't hot before, it's on fire now. "Alice!"
"It's a valid question!"
"How is it valid?" Bella demands, louder than she means, flustered by the idea.
Alice laughs. "I don't know, maybe because you've stayed with him overnight at least once? Not that sex only happens at night. I lost my virginity at noon in a blueberry field, and I'm pretty sure Rose had a morning romp with someone..."
Bella has stayed the night at Masen's place, but he had slept on the couch and she had taken the bed. She remembers that night, awful for so many reasons except the way he'd looked at her, just for a moment, with a secret kind of heat. And following that thought is the way his fingers had felt stroking along her body, finding her hidden places, taking her to shuddering great heights, all in a fit of passion that had seemed to sweep both of them away.
Her heart flips over in her chest.
She's not quite as innocent as she was before. And if things continue as they are, she probably won't be so virgin-white soon, either.
She doesn't mind the idea. But – well, she isn't ready to gab about it if she hasn't even talked to Masen about it. And, if she's being honest, she doesn't think she can even think about it seriously if she isn't sure about the other thing – because can she really share her body in that way if she Isn't certain it's love? She craves that emotional closeness as much as she is anxious about confirming it.
Bella clears her throat, centering her thoughts. "Virginity is an arbitrary heteronormative social construct," she parrots.
Alice blinks, then sits back in surprise. "So, you're saying you've already -"
"No!" Bella denies quickly. "But – but, well, when - or if – I do, It's not like - It's not a huge thing, is it?"
Alice shrugs. "It wasn't to me and it wasn't to Rose, but I think it's important to you that the person is special, right? Maybe you don't need roses and candles, but you do need love, right? That's how you're wired."
Love. Bella doesn't know how Alice can say the word so freely, as if it isn't this huge boulder sitting on Bella's chest, demanding attention and to be acknowledged.
But Alice isn't wrong - Bella is wired that way. Physical virginity might be arbitrary, but the act itself is anything but. For her, at least. If she's going to share her body like that, then it has to matter. The other person has to matter.
"You look like you've got big thoughts," Alice observes, a sweet frown on her face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Bella replies. She chews on her lip. "I do have some big thoughts."
"And big feelings too, right?" Alice guesses smartly. Seeing the stricken look on Bella's face, Alice crawls forward to grasp Bella's hand, squeezing with a reassuring pressure. "Don't worry, honey. You'll figure it out."
Bella squeezes back, like Alice is a life raft she needs to stay afloat in the sudden tumult of her usually-calm inner-waters. "You'll figure it out, too."
Alice grins. "We're going to be okay."
Bella thinks - no, she knows – that Alice is right. It may be too optimistic, it might be naive, but she just has a good feeling about it all – about her future and her friendships and about Masen, too.
Which is why, later, when Leah is asleep and the dorm is quiet, Bella musters the bravery she needs to finally decode the bracelet she'd been given nearly two weeks before. In the end, it's a simple matter of huddling over her computer and pulling up one of the dozens of websites that specialize in converting binary code into English.
She painstakingly types in the long rows of numbers, using the light of her laptop screen to make sure she doesn't miss a single one or zero.
01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
Bella takes a deep breath, holds the air in her lungs for a moment, and then presses enter. The page blanks out, reloading at a seemingly sluggish speed, and then in the second box beneath the original binary code is the translation -
Oh.
It feels like a jackrabbit has replaced her heart. Her ribs might break under the force of how hard her heart is beating. She feels lightheaded, breathless, dizzy.
Bella scrambles for her phone.
The Missus
I decoded the bracelet
This Is Really Masen
I see
And?
The Missus
Can I see you?
Right now?
This Is Really Masen
I'll be waiting
Masen sends a Lyft to pick her up, because of course he does. Bella sits in the backseat, her mind so swallowed up with those Big Thoughts Alice talked about earlier that she can't even summon the will to stutter through the awkward small-talk that usually happens on such rides. She stares at the window and can't help but be struck by the familiarity – here she is, once again showing up on Masen's doorstep late at night. This time, however, there is no ill-omen to portent her arrival, no conflict that sends her seeking his safe harbor.
This time it is anticipation and giddy joy that has her slipping out of the Lyft as soon as it idles on the curb outside of Midnight Sun. She takes a breath before she goes to open the huge glass office door. She considers, if only for a moment, that it's almost midnight, so it's maybe not the best time to travel halfway across Palo Alto to turn up at her boyfriend's door – but Bella is young and Masen is awake and they need to see each other because there are some things that shouldn't be said over text.
There are some things that can't wait for a convenient time.
Inside, Masen is already waiting for her. Sat at the kitchen counter on one of the swirling metal stools, he has his arms crossed over his chest and an ever-present implacable expression on his handsome face - it's only when she looks closer that she can see the tick in his jaw and the pinch at the corners of his gray-green eyes that belies his nerves.
Does he know what she wants to say?
Bella walks forward slowly, almost in hesitation, and comes to a rocking stop only a few feet away. She stares at Masen, drinking in his cool exterior and the way it doesn't quite fit with the tousle of his coppery hair and the rumple of his sleep clothes, a simple pair of grey jogger sweatpants and a white Stanford t-shirt. He must have been in bed when she contacted him.
Belatedly, she realizes she is also in her pajamas, peony pink sleep shorts, and a marled cream sweatshirt, the sleeves overlong with a sloth stitched to hang from the collar. It makes her feel shy, which is ridiculous. This isn't the first time they've been in sleepwear around each other.
It must be the gravity of the moment. She twists the bracelet beneath her sleeve and says, "I need to tell you something."
Masen studies her closely for a beat longer. "Upstairs," he decides, standing. "More privacy."
Oh, good. He understands this is a private conversation. Good. That's good.
Oh, God. Does he know what she wants to talk about, what she wants to say?
Well. Of course he does - it's not like he put that exact sequence on the bracelet by accident.
Bella's stomach flutters and flips as she follows him upstairs, the minutes stretching so much longer than they have any right to. She's glad that it seems like the second floor is quiet, meaning her arrival probably hasn't been noticed if everyone else is asleep. That, at least, makes her feel a little calmer.
She swallows when Masen closes the door of his loft behind them. Just because he probably knows what she's going to say doesn't make it any easier to actually get the words out. If anything, there's an extra weight of expectation resting on her shoulders.
She wants to say it right. She never thought she would feel this way – or dream that the sentiment would be returned – so she wants to get it right the first time. Only the trouble is that the words just aren't coming to her. All those big thoughts and half-planned confessions she mused over on the drive have seemingly left her brain completely.
She must look silly, or even flustered enough, just standing there gnawing on her bottom lip and twisting that bracelet around, because Masen takes pity on her. He eases nearer, effortlessly looming over her, pressing his height to his advantage until she is backed against the door, spine flesh to wood as she stares up at him. Her heart skips a beat when he strokes the curve of her cheek, gently lifting her chin.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" he wonders. "Another dazzling idea? You can tell me."
"I..." Bella trails off, the words and the courage leaving her. She had been so very sure in the moment that she would be able to tell Masen the moment she saw him, like saying the words were as simple as the words themselves. And yet here she is, frustrated by her inexplicable inability to speak, the weight of her tongue twice as heavy as her bracelet.
Could she just spit out the same sequence of numbers and expect him to understand?
No. No, that's not the right way.
Masen's thumb brushes against her bottom lip, tracing the pouting frown that is slanting her mouth. "You fascinate me," he murmurs, only just audible. "Everything you do is so captivating."
Her heart swells, even as she drops her eyes, unable to withstand the intensity in his gaze.
He continues. "I'm enthralled by you, hopelessly devoted. I love you," he says tenderly, so much more gentle than she ever imagined he could be - and her heart stutters, skips a beat, because he's said the words out loud, now. He said them as easy as breathing, with a searing, simmering sort of confidence that leaves her in a puddle as he keeps going, musing along with whatever train of thought keeps him hovered around her, his body heat pressing into her skin, his palm curving to the shape of her jaw. "You don't know this, but I could watch you all day and never grow tired. I'm content to breathe the same air, to listen to your heartbeat, to feel the warmth of your skin – but I'm also so selfish when it comes to you, so I want more. I want everything with you, every day."
"Masen," she breathes helplessly.
"You decoded the bracelet," he reminds her.
She nods, heart trembling, body not far behind. If Masen could say it, then Bella can say it too. He deserves to hear tender words, too. She reaches for the dregs of her courage, even as she reaches for him, taking his jaw between her hands so he has to look at her, his stubble prickling her palms.
"It's you," she tells him as clearly as she can, even though her voice is barely more than a whisper. "It can only be you, now and always. I think I'll love you for the rest of my life."
Deep emotion flares in Masen's eyes and she has only a moment to appreciate it before he descends on her, taking her mouth in a gentle, tantalizingly languid kiss. It's the kind of kiss that is meant to seduce; the way he cradles the nape of her neck, dragging her closer around the waist as he licks into her mouth, tasting and savoring and spinning her head around. It's all she can do to tilt onto her toes and lean into him, fingers curling into his shirt and his hair, trying to keep up and meet him stroke for stroke.
She doesn't know how long it is they kiss before they break apart, only far enough to press their foreheads together. Masen's hands are as low on her body as they have ever dared, nearly cupping her behind, and her own have slipped down to his stomach, feeling the subtle ridge of muscle hidden beneath cotton. Her hand drifts lower as she meets his eyes, tracing the jut of his hip bone and the elastic of his sweatpants, all-too-aware of the bump pressing against her bellybutton.
He catches her hand before it can move any further. "Are you sure?"
"You're really asking?" She wonders, a tad incredulous.
"Consent is important."
"What about you? Do you consent?"
"I want everything with you," he repeats.
The heat of her blush is probably burning his skin. "Maybe not everything just yet. But..." She tugs on his waistband again. "Maybe this?"
Masen's next kiss is not half as gentle as the first one. Somehow, they manage to stumble through his apartment and tumble onto the bed, side-by-side, and still kissing. Shirts are rucked up and pants tangle around knees. His mouth finds a delightful spot beneath her ear that makes her keen and scratch at his abdomen, which has him thrusting into her touch. Her mind is too clouded by the way his hands feel on her breasts to have any hesitation when she passes her hand over where he is hard and wanting.
The soft groan he muffles into her neck is beyond gratifying, and it makes her want to hear more - and so all of her anxiety from earlier is promptly tossed out the window as she chases after his pleasure. Learning the shape of him, the tender give, the way he pants if she scratches her nails over the tip, all of it consumes her thoughts until it comes as a genuine, if not pleasurable, surprise when his long fingers squirm into her underwear and stroke against the slickness of her skin. He has the advantage of already doing this once, and with unerring precision, he circles his thumb over the bead of nerves that send her spine quivering. In thoughtless retaliation, she squeezes him tighter, rushing a stroke quickly enough that he groans again and juts his hips into her motion.
She puts out of her mind the slick sounds her own body makes – and his, as precome spills and smooths the way – and can do nothing else but focus on the fire spiraling from her enter.
She reaches her end first, clenching around two of his fingers, and then it's his turn, warmth spilling across her palm as he sucks a mark onto her skin.
They stay still and quiet for several long moments, each of them catching their breath and gathering their thoughts. Her head tilts up, lolling lazily over the bicep beneath her neck, and she looks at him with a satisfied, heavy-lidded gaze. Masen is flushed at the tops of his cheeks and the tips of his ears, and he returns his stare with a sense of smug pride and undeniable satiation.
"Stay over?" he asks.
Bella nods.
Why shouldn't she stay over? They're in love - and she doesn't want to leave, not just yet.
A/N: Consent is important, folks. And sexy. Now, I'm off to go figure out my new computer and recover from work - and the week, honestly, which was been wild and unsetting so many ways.
However, at certain request, I do have some advice you may find useful!
We are still, for some reason, still debating the usage of masks in this country. Public health isn't a matter of politics, so I really can't wrap my head around any of it. That said, the mask-wearing is something that it takes time to acclimate to for everyone, some more than others. In fact, some people who wear masks struggle with feelings of claustrophobia, anxiety, and psychosomatic difficulty breathing, which I do sympathize with. I've talked to people who cite feeling nauseous and I recommend sucking on a lemon drop, ginger candy, or peppermint while wearing the mask. For you, I think there are possibly two solutions.
1. Try wearing a mask inside the house for short intervals to get used to wearing them outside of the house; you can move up from 1 minute to 3 to 5 to 10, etc. until you can comfortably wear a mask for the duration of the time you might be outside of the house. This is kind of like an ad hoc exposure therapy to build up your tolerance. I would recommend wearing the mask at different times of the day, in different temperatures, at different levels of activty, etc.
2. You might also try a different form of mask. If a surgical mask is the one you wore when you had your panic attack, then you might switch to a neoprene mask or a cloth cotton covering. Both of those have a generally "lighter" feel. Just make sure you verify that they are effective at trapping your respiratory droplets by doing the Bill Nye candle experiment - if you are wearing a mask and you can blow out a candle, then the mask is not sufficient.
My advice is to take is slow. Wearing a mask is the best option any of us have at this point, so you need to have the ability to wear one if you absolutely must. Try to acclimatize yourself if you can - and focus on the progress you make.
As always, be brutally honest. I can take it. Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay calm.
~Rae