A/N: I took a small break, it was nice. Not super many chapters in this fanfic I think only like a handful more. I have more or less finished the first chapter of the never far from home sequel and I am super excited about it.

When it comes to this fanfic. This is for sure more of a character study, but I think we all need that at this point before we get back to all of the angst and pain later on. Still, I will say this is a T rated fanfic and this chapter to describes hard times for some of the important characters. Mental struggles and I guess what can kinda categorize as torture?

Anyways, thank you all for the love you have shown me and thank you for being patient.

Hope you all stay safe, and until the next chapter, make it a great week and I'll talk to you all soon.

(btw I'm actually really struggling with this one, flying, which is what I mainly call this fanfic, so if anyone has anything please tell me ahah)

S-B

Skye was the only one awake. The meeting had ended around 3 am and everyone needed sleep before the kids would be down. They had somehow squeezed everyone into the small house with Colson and May sleeping on a big couch in the other big living/entertainment room, and Maria sharing Natasha's room.

Skye had decided to run away, or not like run, run away, but like get away from everything. Everyone was stressed and confused, and it just felt like everyone and everything was closing around her. It was uncomfortable and she needed to get away, there was just no other way.

She was currently sitting in the co-pilot seat of the quinjet they got traveled with. With her computer on her lap and earbuds in her ears, she chose to close off the rest of the world, even if it was just for a few hours. She was tired and a bed would be nice, but there was something about going back to the house having to be with all of them, being with Jemma, that just wasn't appealing. Not because she didn't like them, obviously, but because she didn't want to have to deal with any of their questions and theories right now.

The questions and looks they gave her. She knew they never meant to be rude, but it felt like a silent judge around her all the time.

She could see the sun on the horizon starting to rise, and knowing she should get some kind of rest she slowly pushed away her laptop and instead connected her earbuds to her phone to play some relaxing music. It was cold in the aircraft without the engine on, but with a good blanket and the sun, it wasn't too bad.

She could soon feel the sun warming her through the window. A nice warm feeling that somehow made her feel peaceful. For the first time in a long time, it felt like her body was on rest, slowly turning off and drifting off to sleep.

When Skye finally woke up hours later the sun was high on the sky. It had to be around mid-day judging how high the sun already was. The sun was warming the small cockpit with the reflection bouncing off the walls. This had to be the most relaxed she had felt in days, feeling like she really did have a nice sleep for once.

Outside she could see Clint sitting on the terrace with Coulson, Bobbie, and May. They were looking at a tablet obviously talking about work. They were all wearing that face you have when you are in deep concentration.

On the other side the corner, by the front door were Maria and Laura. Unlike the others, they seemed relaxed. With a cup of tea in their hands, they watched the two kids play a ball with each other with Jemma beside them. She was helping them pitch while they tried to swing the bat. And while Jemma wasn't the most athletic person ever, she wasn't awful at throwing.

Of course, Skye wasn't surprised to see that Natasha was missing. She had known Natasha for years, and she knew Natasha liked to process things alone, being raised to work alone. It wasn't because she was running from everyone else, but because that was how she worked the best.

Not wanting to join them, Skye instead opened her laptop. She had things to do. Or at least things she felt she needed to do. Even if she hadn't technically got told to do so.

As expected, Fitz had already sent her everything he had found. While he was smart, he wasn't too tech smart so everything he hadn't figured already he had sent over to her.

One very key part they were missing from the puzzle was identifying the main "suspect". Jemma was still convinced the man who might be the cause of whatever this was, might not be doing this by will. Laura had agreed to the theory early on, meaning his body language was telling a completely different story. Maria had backed off voting blank, while the others were hesitant with Jemma's theory more shifting to the other end of the spectrum.

Skye wasn't sure what to believe. The footage wasn't great, and they only saw his face a few seconds but just by looking at him, he seemed quite normal. But then again, looking normal wasn't really good enough.

She was sure Fitz had already tried this a few times, but she chose to try herself, saving a few of the frames of the video to send through SHIELD's face recognition program. While running the face recondition Skye looked at the rest of the files she had received. She had gotten all the security files, a few documents on the different buildings, the mission report from Natasha and some other boring files.

It wasn't a lot and it only took her an hour or so to go through everything, including taking screenshots of the man and feed it into an additional program.

All the documents were just a fast read so most of her time went to look at the security data. She had looked through most of them already. Frame by frame she had watched all, just to see if she missed anything. Every single video, all except two of them. The two they watched yesterday.

Natasha had made it very clear she did not want any of them to watch the full videos of the two events. And while Skye wanted to respect her wishes she didn't get what could be so bad about them. They all needed to learn about however they were facing. He was dangerous, even if he didn't mean to.

Skye lifted her head when she noticed the front door of the old house open. She watched Natasha walk out the door joining the two other women. She couldn't really see her face because of the distance, but she watched her take a seat beside Laura on the couch, leaning on her while talking to her and Maria. Laura was already playing with the redhead's hair and was wrapped around her like a protective blanket.

They all looked relaxed and comfortable even if she couldn't see the expression in their face. It was surprising to see them all with their guards down like that, but at the same time it proved how good Maria and Natasha were at their jobs being able to switch off and on even in times like this. Giving them some time to heal and recover if needed.

Skye kept watching them for a few more minutes before turning her head back to the laptop immediately checking up on the face recondition. The programs she used didn't match anything. The reference was shit and she needed to do something else. The program SHIELD had wasn't that bad, but she needed more. Like it didn't have to be much but at least some kind of match would help.

Lost in her head she slowly started to take apart the program diving deep into the codes. A language she at least understood, unlike most things SHIELD.

She didn't plan to make a completely new program today, but sometimes things just happen. She knew what she was doing, and it just felt good doing simple things like this. Just small things like simple codes, just like she did before SHIELD had happened.

She lost all feeling of time when she worked like this, and it wasn't before she was doing some last touches, she looked down in the corner of her pc to check the time. It told her she had already spent two hours on this. Even with the short amount of time, it felt solid and stable. After maybe 10 backups later she decided to give it a go.

Personally, she thought this was a solid first attempt for a new program. It was a powerful tool but was easy on the software and needed less power than the program SHIELD used. It felt smooth and fast as she fired it up for the first time.

Using some fun algorithms she came up with, as well as integrating some of the better parts of SHIELD'S own program Skye watched the program use less than 1 second to scan and confirm the face of one the press photos of the Black widow. Of course, that was an easy one, but it was ridiculously fast. It was like any other face recognition just better and faster, and just fucking amazing if anything.

The test photos she used was in a way better quality than the one of the mystery man, but it was a very good start. The program was even able to find Jemma based on the picture where most of it was just her ponytail and a slight profile of her face.

Taking a deep breath Skye finally dropped the screenshot of the video into the program. For the first time after her test runs, she saw the program starting to shuffle through multiple pictures of different people. She watched it for a while before realizing this would take time and she switched tab.

The program was so easy going she could without any problems work on something else, which was a big upgrade from the chunky old program.

Instead of going to work on something else, her brain went back to the videos of Natasha. She wanted to know. She needed to know.

Natasha had been her everything. The one thing she truly had cared about. The one person in her life she truly trusted and loved. Every time her brain went back to that night. It always felt like something was missing. Even before they discovered the "fake the fucking death of your loved one" wizard.

Skye had always thought about Natasha's death as something that was just meant to be. That the universe never wanted her to have her. Because truth be told, Natasha had always been too good for her. She came into her life just when she needed her most and gave her everything she ever would need at that time, immediately risking everything for her. She never deserved somebody like her.

She had always thought she would grief the redhead more than she had. But she never did. She had accepted it almost immediately and while it was hard to walk into their apartment alone for the first time, she had just packed her things and left. Left everything behind her. Just like she left the life she had with the black widow behind like it never happened.

As much as she had hated the thought of the lose it was never her death itself that had bothered Skye the most. It was missing her that was the worst part. But she had always missed her as if she had just left for a mission, never as if she had gotten murdered and killed and never coming back. That part never stuck with her. It was almost as if it didn't happen.

It was a weird feeling, it really was. But at least now, compared to before, she knew a third party was involved. Somebody who messed with her head. And even though that was fucking scary at least it made her messed up feeling and thoughts all slightly more okay and reasonable.

What didn't rest with her was knowing Natasha had suffered so much more than her. So much Skye felt she should have had suffered from the redhead's "fake death". Natasha has spent years trying to process the trauma. And clearly, she was going through the same shit again now. It was no hiding the fact that she was more or less falling apart in front of everyone. And if anything, it seemed like it was worse this time. Like she had no fight left in her at all. It was heartbreaking.

Skye wasn't even aware she had clicked on the before the video started playing. Like yesterday it started slow, with just the two men by the bar. It looked like every other bar with mostly wood everything and yellow dimmed lights and a few candles. Nothing special to say at least.

Skye tried to keep her head straight as Natasha and the other man came flying through the door. Natasha was insane at fighting at close range. The man was like twice her size, but she had no problem throwing him, flinging him over her with one smooth movement. Her green eyes were glued at him as she tried to pin him down. Even without sound, she could see the man scream at her as he got kicked.

She had no backstory for this fight, but the guy was prepared, and Skye watched Natasha take the kick to her stomach with a groan before she got kicked off him only barely getting time to readjust herself to soften her fall. She only looked up for a second before the immediate reaction, throwing herself backward getting way from the bar as fast as possible.

Her eyes were wild as she rapidity almost fell backward, dropping her gun in the prosses. Her body was shaking as she continued to back away before she hit the wall behind her.

Skye stared at her as her green eyes got lit up in orange when the bar blew up, but the woman didn't budge. The two men barely had time to jump away from the explosion before they ran for the door not even throwing a glance at Natasha as they escaped.

The man Natasha had tackled must have had carried kind of explosive on him from the start. She hadn't taken note of his weapon or his clothes last time she watched the video. And even now she hadn't noticed any explosives. But it was no other real explanation to the explosion than having it planned from the start.

The big man turned around slowly. He looked at Natasha who was still glued up against the wall with her eyes wide, staring at something in front of her. The man slowly unbuckled something in his belt, something Skye hadn't noticed the first time she watched the video. At first, it only looked like a small handgun, but before she knew what was happening the weapon changed in his hands. Like a small pocket pistol that could unfold.

Skye watched Natasha shaking uncontrollably, with her chest rising and falling fast as she gasped for air. She had tears in her eyes, and she was leaning on the wall, closing her eyes just the weapon fired. She didn't even seem aware of the guy before her body took the shot right in her side making her fall to the floor.

She wasn't even strong enough to stand up before another shot is fired hitting her the exact same spot making the woman throw her head back. It was only now it seemed like she shook her head out of the spell lifting her head just in time to fall forwards barely dodging the third shot.

Skye's mouth dropped when the video stopped. Immediately she started looking thought the files Leo sent her. Surely it had to be more. He couldn't cut it like that. How did Natasha even get away? She couldn't even stand.

She couldn't believe that was it. But it was nothing more. None of the files showed anything after that. And Skye knew the only way she would ever know was if she asked Natasha herself.

Sighing loudly in defeat, she switched back to her recognition program. To her disappointment, it hadn't found anything yet. The program was jumping between to pictures like it as stuck in a loop. And while two was better than a hundred this kinda proved she couldn't trust this finding just yet.

She opened the codes again and looked at it. This was really not what she wanted to be doing right now. But she saw the mistake early on, thankfully. She also saw a few things she could change so at least it wasn't a complete loss.

As she fired up the program for the second time her thoughts started to float back to yesterday and the video from the day she had supposedly died. That was now the only video the hadn't watched. She had already gone against Natasha by watching the last video. And even if her head told her no, Skye slowly pressed the play bottom.

For the second time, Skye watched Natasha jump gracefully up on the empty roof. Unlike on her last mission, she looked ready in this one. While she was on edge watching her back all the time, she seemed younger and wilder. As if she really wanted this.

Natasha had never been a wild person per se, but she Skye remember her as someone who really fed on her mission. The one thing that had for day one been pushed into her brain, firing up the woman as fuel. The one thing she was always meant to be hunting. Her mission. Nothing was going between her and her goal.

She still didn't know what had caught the spy's attention when she turned her head to the left looking at the camera. Just like last time she watched it, Natasha's eyes immediately got filled with panic as she spun around forwards again, gripping hard around her gun aiming it straight. It was nothing there, only emptiness, but her eyes were locked on something.

It looked like she had seen a ghost as she backed away from whatever she saw. Her eyes were already filled with pain as she backed away. Immediately Natasha dropped her gun to the ground while her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Having no idea a gun even could fire like that, Skye almost screamed when Natasha's own gun fired straight upwards as it hit the concrete roof. Natasha fell to her knees as the bullet pierced into her thigh, forcing her to desperately try to hold around it with one hand while lifting the other in the air in defeat.

Skye watched the woman gasp after air as she continued to shake, eyes glued at whatever was in front of her. Her hands were socking in blood and tears were already streaming down her face.

She could practically hear her scream as Natasha threw herself forwards in a desperate attempt to stop what happened in her vision. Scrambling to her feet only falling to the ground half a second later throwing her head backward in sheer pain as her leg gave up under her.

"It was the worst day of my life" Skye froze as she heard Natasha's voice up behind her. She hadn't even noticed her walking on board.

"Ta- Natasha, I'm so sorry." Skye pushed away the pc slamming it close, already feeling the heat in her cheeks. Natasha was looking at her with a calm look as she walked over to her and sat down on the seat beside her.

"It's okay," Natasha said simply before turning her head looking out the window. Skye turned to her carefully, but Natasha didn't look at her back. Her eyes were looking out the window and she watched the woman watch the kids, her eyes carefully following their every move. She didn't say anything and didn't give Skye any kind of attention either. She only watched everyone outside. At one point she turned to Laura instead, and Skye could see the corner of her mouth move into a smile as Laura laughed at something Maria had said. Whatever relationship Natasha had with the Barton's it was a close one.

"I love this," Natasha said with a soft voice as she kept looking at them all. She was smiling softly as she tilted her head moving her eyes around. Clint had pushed away the tablet and replaced it with a can of what seemed like iced tea. May had gotten her sunglasses too, leaning back in her chair.

"Scuse me?" Skye said turning to Natasha who still didn't give her any attention.

"Watching them all take a break for once. Just enjoying the nice weather outside." Natasha answered simply just as Bobbie started laughing at something somebody said.

"I guess it is?" Skye answered. She was confused. Did Natasha really come here just to say that? Did she not come here to maybe… talk to her? And she wasn't going to mention Skye going against her direct orders either? What was going on?

Natasha kept looking out the window. Her walls were all completely lowered, with her eyes almost half-closed and her slow breathing as she was resting in her seat. She didn't turn her head once. Not when Skye reached after her pc again and not when she started working again. She didn't even lift an eyebrow.

Skye tried to go back to work, she really did, but it was impossible with the redhead beside her. She kept throwing glances at her even if Natasha didn't give her any attention.

Soon she gave up again. She closed the laptop with a small sigh. She needed to tell the team about her results, but after turning her attention outside she stopped that thought. Natasha was right. The team hadn't seemed this relaxed in weeks, and they had been in one of the world's most secure buildings not long ago so that was saying something.

Instead of staying split up they had all kinda gathered on the same side of the house. Jemma had taken a break from the ballplaying sitting with Maria, Laura and May, all watching Clint, Coulson, Bobbie and the kids playing something that reminded her of baseball. The table they all sat around was filled with all kinds of lunch foods now. Skye hadn't even noticed any of them walk in to get it, but there were sandwiches, a platter full of fruit and more beverages to choose from now.

She didn't want to ruin any of this. They all deserved this time off.

"It is something about this place, something that just makes you turn everything off," Natasha said softly as if she was reading her mind.

"That's why you went here, after... everything?" Skye tried carefully looking at Natasha with a small look. Natasha turned to her and smiled at her with a small, sad smile.

"No. I didn't know about Laura back then. But Clint brought me here after talking with Coulson." Natasha started. She looked at her with blank eyes before turning her head down looking at the floor instead.

"After everything, I lost it. I turned insane. Heartbroken after what I saw. Maybe I was scared it was the red room. Maybe it was a result of my brainwashing. I didn't know. I just knew I was scared. Confused about everything that happened around me. Clint brought me here to take my mind of everything. To take me away from the industry." Natasha said with a low voice.

"Cooper was just a baby back then. I was horrified by him and Laura. I've never met anyone besides you who ever cared for me. I've never seen a family like his. I thought it was one of the visions. I thought I was going to lose that too." Natasha whispered. Her voice almost broke, and for the first time, Skye really understood how much Natasha was still hurting. She never stopped. It still hunted her after all these years.

"Laura gave me everything. She was the only reason I got through it. Even at my absolute worst, she was still there helping me through it all. Even when I gave up myself." Natasha lifted her head and Skye could see she had tears in her eyes.

"You mean when you gave up hope?" Skye asked carefully. Natasha shook her head softly. She gave her a small defeated smile.

"No. I never had hope back then. I gave up on my life." Skye stopped. She only looked at her stunned. Natasha had tried to take her own life?

"When I realized this might be happening again. When I saw you when I woke up. When I realized what had happened between us, that what I saw never was real…

If that had happened again. I knew. If I somehow could get anyone out in the field to confirm the winter soldier was still alive and I could get back to Laura, I would do anything to do so." Natasha looked at her with a firm look. Skye could only nod at her. She barely understood.

"Laura know me back and forth. If I trust anyone to be around me, even when I don't trust my own head, it is her.

I lost everything I had when I thought I lost you. And Laura and Clint gave me something to live for. They gave me a reason to fight. They gave me a clear vision of wanting to avenge you." Natasha said. Skye gulped as Natasha's eyes lit up. Revenge was all over her face and Skye could tell nothing was stopping her if she ever laid her hands on the possible suspect.

Skye slowly turned her head forwards again trying to prosses what the redhead had just told her. Like Natasha, she tried to focus her attention on everyone outside, still, her head was only focusing on what Natasha had just said.

"What about you?" Skye turned to Natasha surprised. Her voice had done a complete one-eighty from the voice she had just used and was soft and kind as she asked. No anger, so sadness. No, nothing.

"What, what?" Skye asked, trying to reflect the soft voice Natasha had given her.

"What happened to you after everything?" Skye was a bit put off that question. Not only did it kinda surprise her that Natasha was even interested, but she genuinely looked like she cared. Something Skye first now realized she had really missed.

"I don't know why, but I fell at ease with everything pretty easily," Skye admitted carefully. Natasha didn't seem to take it personally nodding.

"Well if what Fitz said is true that would make sense," Natasha said with a small encouraging smile. Skye was happy Natasha wasn't mad at her. And it was good knowing Natasha was kinda understanding her and where she was coming from. Even if she didn't really get it herself.

"I still went on for the search for my parents. Kinda fell on SHIELDS radar and then got dragged into this mess" Natasha only smiled at that giving her a small wink before letting her continue.

"I've just kinda been hanging around here, I guess. With my team." She said nodding at the group who had now decided to take a break squeezing everyone around the table. Natasha smiled at them all before turning to Skye again.

"Has it always been you guys?" Her voice was so soft, and it was nothing suspicious about it. It just sounded like a question. At this point, Skye was seriously starting to wonder if Natasha was using one of her many ways to manipulate her. Sand maybe that was an awful thought, but she had been playing with all of them back in the tower, what made her not wanting to this now.

"No… we had another one before. He turned out to be HYDRA. And Bobbi is a newer addition. Found her when she was undercover in HYDRA not too long ago." Skye answered short, biting her lip by the thought of Ward.

"Grant Ward," Natasha said simply. Skye only nodded. Of course, Natasha already knew all about him. Why couldn't she, she knew everything about everything.

"Tell me." Natasha turned around and looked at Skye with firm eyes. Skye only tilted her head confused.

"Tell me about your team. The good parts." Natasha simply added. Skye smiled at her softly before closing her eyes for a second.

"Ward was my S.O but May took that role. She is… just incredible."

"Incredible."

Skye looked up when Natasha's voice matched hers. Natasha nodded softly at her with a smile before saying.

"I've been in SHIELD a lot longer than you kid." Natasha winked making Skye laugh at her with an eye roll.

"And then Fitz and Simmons. I mean they are just something special. They were part of the original team. I'm really thankful for both of them." Skye said still trying to kill her laugher making Natasha smile at her.

"You do know we referred to them as Fitzsimmons even before they ended up on Coulson team right," Natasha said chuckling at her softly.

"Wait you know about them?" Skye looked at her confused.

"Well no, I never met them in person. And I mean everyone in SHIELD is quite extraordinary already, but a team like them doesn't go unnoticed. Was Maria who mentioned them first. I had no idea what they were doing and what field, but I recognized the names when Melinda introduced them." Natasha answered almost matter of factly.

"Wow. I knew they were smart and all, but I didn't know that was that smart that everyone knew about them." Skye said looking at Jemma thought the window with a small smile.

"Well I mean, one thing was how smart they were, but they also kinda disappeared to join a team with a leader that was already, you know… dead…" Natasha said with a small smile. Skye nodded slowly trying to prosses all of it. Simmons and Fitz. Natasha already knew about them. Like she had known Bobbie. Clearly, when Coulson had chosen his team, he knew what he was doing then.

"Morse is kinda the same story. I knew the name Mockingbird. But I never saw her. Only Maria and Melinda mentioning her a few times. Guessing you have quite a different take on her." Natasha said softly.

"Well, she was undercover in HYDRA. We picked her up around one and a half months ago. She reminds me a lot of you, you know. Maybe some friendly competition." Skye tried grimacing at Natasha who only laughed at her.

"We'll see." She answered simply but she smiled at her with a grimace.

The two fell into a comfortable conversation. It almost felt like old times. Natasha was so easy to talk to. She had always been. Her natural charm and soft voice as they talked. The kind looks in her eyes and now she always looked at you when she listened. It reminded her about all the time they had missed, and how happy Skye was about finally being reunited with her.

"What about dating?" Skye almost lost her jaw turning to Natasha shocked. Natasha only looked at her casually as if that was a completely normal thing to ask just like that.

"Calm down Malyshka I was only asking." Natasha laughed softly as Skye continued to just look at her. "Beside Morse mentioned you dating Ward, which I highly doubt is a thing now." Natasha continued casually. Skye only nodded at her slowly still very thrown off by everything.

"Anyone on the team maybe? Fitz doesn't really seem like your type" Natasha continued to push. Skye just huffed at that shaking her head making Natasha laugh again.

"Bobbie, maybe? I mean she is hot and a badass superspy." Natasha winked at her making Skye fall own in her chair trying to get away from the redhead.

"She isn't quite my type." Skye only mumbled making Natasha laugh again.

"What about Jemma" Natasha continued to push, making Skye sink even further down in her seat.

"How did you even know I am queer." She mumbled trying to avoid Natasha's eyes. Natasha laughed loudly again before saying.

"I didn't, but I do know." Natasha winked at her and her mischievous look made Skye blush even harder.

"I hate you," Skye mumbled grabbing her pc to hide behind her screen. Natasha's laugh was soft, and her eyes were shining happily. It was nothing like how she was yesterday. Her recovery time seemed way to fast to be real, but Skye knew she didn't want to comment on it.

"No, you don't," Natasha said leaning over pushing her softly. Skye rolled her eyes at her, but Natasha just giggled. Of course, she didn't care about her eye-rolling. She was practically the one who taught her how to roll her eyes.

"It's getting late, ready to go back in?" Natasha said softly looking at her with a smile. Skye turned to her with a small frown. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go back yet. Part of her knew she needed to at one point, but already she could feel the anxiety. The day was soon over, and the play was finished. They would be talking shop now, and she wasn't ready for that yet.

"It's going to be fine, Skye, I'm right here. Trust me on this one okay." Natasha said with a sweet tone. She stood up and nodded at the door with a smile. Skye threw her head towards the house watching everyone go inside. She turned to Natasha again who waited patiently by the door still smiling softly at her.

Yeah, she really did trust Nat on this one.