Dallas, Texas

Watching Sue Ellen unlace John Ross' shoes, remove his socks and then help him into the sandbox, Jenna waited for her to return to the patio table before continuing their discussion.

"He's so noble, it's irritating."

Expressing her feelings on the subject of her relationship with Bobby, the last thing she expected was for Sue Ellen to laugh, but that's exactly what she did.

"Are you never happy?"

Sue Ellen wasn't being unkind, she was simply amused, she could tell that from her tone. The issue was she personally felt it was a little more serious than that.

"I'm not unhappy, but we're in an unbalanced relationship. I want him to accept me showing him how grateful I am for all that he provides us. He wants so little in return that I actually feel a little guilty about it."

It had only been three or so weeks since Bobby had shown up on her doorstep looking healthier, but since then they'd spent a lot of time together, rarely talking about Pam, Will or Miss Ellie, mostly focusing on the present, her present, which she enjoyed, but she knew couldn't last forever.

Running her finger over the rim of her glass, Sue Ellen looked genuinely surprised as she listened to her admission. "You feel guilty?"

"Don't sound so shocked. I know my worth; I don't just take without giving something in return."

Setting her glass down on the table, Sue Ellen appeared uncomfortable, changing the subject slightly when she asked, "even with JR?"

Considering her arrangement with JR, she felt a little uneasy despite the fact that it was completely platonic and the kindness she wanted to give Bobby was entirely different to that that she gave JR. She and Bobby had a romantic history, which made everything now a little more complicated, but she and JR were friends and only friends. She felt comfortable with JR, which potentially came across as flirty to an outsider, but unless there were no Bobby or Sue Ellen, JR was never going to be anything more than a friend.

"Even with JR, he gave me and Charlie a place to live, I encouraged you to cut him some slack and not put too much pressure on him at home."

Confessing her part in their arrangement, she didn't think she'd really done anything wrong, she certainly hadn't done anything she hadn't already been doing without being asked to.

Hearing her confession, Sue Ellen didn't seem to quite agree, sarcastically replying, "thanks a lot."

Shaking her head, she defended herself, "I still stand by what I said, I think sometimes you're too hard on JR, we need to make our men's lives easier, not harder."

Sometimes Sue Ellen was too much all at once, she tended to overreact and not think straight when she was emotional, which JR knew and could handle, but not when he was in an equally distressed emotional position.

Frowning, Sue Ellen still seemed upset, mumbling, "I guess I should be grateful you're not sleeping with him."

A little hurt that her friend thought so little of her, she looked her in the eyes and defended herself again, stating clearly, "I'd never do that to you."

Smiling weakly, Sue Ellen admitted where her thoughts were, "good, because I can't say the same for him."

Knowing from a previous conversation they'd had that JR had a history of infidelity, she personally didn't think that was something he was involved in now, however, Sue Ellen was his wife, theoretically she knew him best.

"You still think JR's cheating?"

"No, not now, but he has. We've moved past it but it does come up every so often as an insecurity of mine. I'm sorry to raise the issue now, it's just when JR and trading favours are mentioned together I don't know what to think."

Hearing Sue Ellen's concerns, she understood where she was coming from. She could feel completely secure in her present relationship but she could never forget the past. JR had messed up and he had made amends, but the scars of his previous mistakes would always exist, healed but never completely gone.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you", satisfied, or at least exhausted by her personal issues, Sue Ellen changed the subject, "anyway, back to your problems."

Thinking about it, she summarised the issue she had with their relationship. "I don't want to keep taking from Bobby, but his version of us being friends is new to me and I don't know how to handle it."

Nodding, Sue Ellen listened to her problems, replying with a different perspective than she'd previously considered. "I hate hearing people say it but I'm going to say it to you, but maybe he just needs some time to adjust to the new situation. It's only been three months since the beginning of his grief period, that's a long time to be without someone you love but not very long to actually have healed from it. Bobby is offering you financial support, which costs him very little but makes all the difference to you. In return, you're offering him emotional support, there's no financial price for that, but it does cost you in time and energy. If you're both happy with how things are, I don't see a problem with the arrangement. You want to pay him back for what he's giving you, but you're failing to see that you already are simply by being there for him. He needs time and during that time he needs support, you're giving him that."

Taking in what Sue Ellen was saying, she was surprised that she hadn't thought of it in such straightforward terms. Nothing Sue Ellen had said was brand new information, but hearing it all laid out hit differently.

"You make it sound so simple."

Laughing lightly, Sue Ellen responded, "I think it is. Sometimes JR is the same, take most recently, he was annoyed after our recent therapy session, we felt like strangers for a few days afterwards, then one day he came home from work in better spirits and things are better again. I think he just needed a period to think about what I'd said and accept it."

Thinking about the issues between JR and Sue Ellen, she had to say that she and Bobby certainly weren't facing anything quite as concrete, but at the heart of it she understood where Sue Ellen was coming from. "I'm not sure it's the same, but I guess time can't hurt, I'm not going anywhere."

Smiling, Sue Ellen didn't hesitate to answer, "I hope not."

"You mean that?"

Nodding, she stated something they both knew but rarely spoke about, "yes, I haven't had a consistent friend in years."

Happy to have a real friend herself, she returned Sue Ellen's smile and reassured her, "you do now."

She didn't personally know what it felt like to be lonely, she'd always managed to surround herself with people, however, meaningful relationships hadn't always been abundant in her life. Her romantic entanglements had provided a little and a lot at times, but now she was relying far more on friendships to feed her social needs, which was different but interesting. She liked having friends, JR and Sue Ellen were good friends, and Bobby was a friend, but unlike JR and Sue Ellen, she didn't see herself keeping Bobby as just a friend. What Bobby wanted was still unclear to her, but Sue Ellen had done a good job hypothesising and for now little had to change, because as she'd said, he needed time. Time might be good for her too. She didn't need to be in a romantic relationship and Charlie certainly didn't need any more change. Perhaps taking everything very slowly was the ideal way to proceed.

To be continued…