[YouTube]

The One Time I Stood In For Swan (feat. Atari and BIL)
ClarityIsClear
652k Views/ Posted 4 years from now

(The first few seconds of the video is shaky footage, a blur of colors largely punctuated by the sounds of low mumbling and Leah Clearwater's voice clearly saying, "God, just give me a minute so I can set this up. How are you so impatient? You're like a robot, you barely even talk! Robots are supposed to be patient."

There's a muffled response and then an aggravated sound from Leah right before her face pops up in front of the camera. She's currently walking backward, narrowly avoiding tripping over the sidewalk as she hurries to keep pace with the person she is walking beside. Viewers haven't seen him often, but the person is Masen Cullen, a seldom-seen figure in Leah's YouTube updates, one that is often both intriguing and intimidating through the lens of the camera.

Leah looks a little harried but more amused than anything. "Hey, viewers! As you can see, I'm here with Bella's person," she says, gesturing at Masen. "He walks very fast, just so you know, and he refuses to slow down."

"Emergency," comes Masen's low voice.

Leah rolls her eyes. "The cat is going to be fine. It's just a little constipation."

From what viewers can see, Masen Cullen doesn't even grace Leah's commentary with any amount of recognition. He does, however, look down at his arms, in which he is very carefully cradling a mass of white fur. Leah turns the camera around so the cat is clearly visible, zooming in on its little face.

"Anyway, viewers, I'm here with Masen to take this little guy to the vet," Leah continues from behind the camera. "He's got some tummy troubles, like when Al eats too much yogurt," she adds fondly. "I'm here today because Bella got caught up at work, so she sent me as her stand-in. I couldn't pass up the opportunity with my brother in law. Also, Bella made me, because she's mean."

"Not mean," Masen mumbles.

Leah rolls her eyes.

The view shifts again to capture the image of a veterinary office, a mixture of brick and glass that already has plenty of animals and owners inside the waiting room. Leah stays quiet as they enter the office and as Masen signs in, but as soon as those tasks are done, Leah helps herself to the abundant stimuli of the office. She spends several minutes filming various animals - after getting permission from owners - and wanders around the entire length of the waiting room. Any time the camera passes over Masen and the cat, he can be seen stroking the cat between the ears, expression blank but intent. The cat is asleep in his lap.

"Intense guy," Leah mutters, seemingly to herself. She wanders over to the empty chair beside Masen and sits down with a huff. "Hey, how long are we going to wait?" she asks, the camera view capturing the waiting room from a new angle.

"Until our appointment," Masen answers after a moment.

"Okay, smart ass," Leah laughs.

The camera zooms back in on the now-slumbering cat and the sound of the video fades out to a Braham's lullaby. The bottom of the video then displays a single sentence: We waited for another 20 minutes and it was very, very boring.

The next image on the screen is a panning side-view of the inside of a veterinary office. The cat is now sitting on a large chrome table while a white-coated vet pats it down, examining it intently. Almost as intent is Masen Cullen, who stares at the process with his arms crossed. It isn't clear to viewers whether he blinks or not.

The vet stands up straight, idly petting the cat's head. "Well," he says with a gusty sigh and a wry smile. "The good news is that this little fella here -"

"Atari," Masen cuts in, reaching down to heft the cat into his arms again.

The vet smiles indulgently. "Right, Atari. The good news is that Atari is going to be okay. The food he's eating is a little hard for him to digest, so you'll need to change brands for one with higher fiber content. You can also add some canned pumpkin to his food, for now, to get things going."

Masen nods gravely. Atari nips at his chin.

"You and your wife don't need to worry, Mr. Cullen-"

"Oh, hell no!" Leah says loudly from behind the camera. "Not his wife! Definitely not his wife. I'd literally rather die. No, I'm his sister in law."

Masen says nothing, but he does blink down at Atari. Atari mews in his face.

The vet falters but recovers quickly enough. "Uh, well, okay then. As I was saying, Mr. Cullen, there's no need to worry. It's a fairly common problem for some cats, but just as easily fixed. If the pumpkin or switching food doesn't work, bring him back and we'll give him a scan to see what's going on, okay?"

Masen nods, and the vet sends them on their way. The camera captures a few parting shots of the various animals in the waiting room as they leave.

"I wouldn't marry you, either," Masen announces after they exit the veterinary clinic.

Leah bursts out into loud, speaker-crackling laughter. "Oh, my God!" she barely manages, laughing herself breathless while Masen continues on, taking a one-track path to a silver car in the parking lot. "Hey, brother!" she yells out behind him, rushing to catch up with the camera bouncing up and down. "You have to give me some kind of warning before you decide to make a joke! I almost died from laughing!"

"Mm."

Leah laughs more, and the video ends with a closing still-picture of Atari baring his teeth at the camera. Beneath the picture is more text: The pumpkin worked. Atari is a happy boy again.)

Comments

aretoodeeyou
Bella's husband is a Good Cat Dad

Doink
The vet's face at 4:55 tho lmao he was like, oh fuuuuuck alright alright lol

Thelittlecygnet
Lee Lee, I told you he was funny!

ClarityIsClear
Yeah but I thought you were just being nice because you're married?

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A/N: Update 2 of 2! If you Google "goth bunny dad meme", Google Images will pull up a tumblr post that 100% inspired this chapter. So funny, so heartwarming. Also, isn't it nice when in-laws get along?

Speaking of in-laws - if you are LGBTQ or you know someone in the community who has been married since the right to marriage was granted, then you (or your people) need to get all of your documents in order. File to get a CIVIL UNION (your local county clerk will have this) and get it processed ASAP; file for power of attorney for medical emergencies; explicitly put each other in your wills; join your bank accounts; be co-signers on mortgages and leases; the whole works. If you have legal parts of your marriage that you want to keep protected, make sure to nail those things down. The right to marriage isn't a guarantee right now, but the law can be on your side if you get all of your documents together NOW. Time is of the essence.

Drink water, peeps.

~Rae

Sorry about the tech issues, guys! Everything should be good now!