Carter Connection
Natasha Carter is two years old and toddling after a couple of cavalier king charles spaniel puppies, one of which (despite her mother's protest) is hers, a gift from her grandfather. She is in her grandparents garden in Hampstead England, her mother's bright doe eyes watching her carefully around the puppies, when her grandmother Amanda turns to her mother and informs Peggy, "Michael and Abigail are expecting a child this spring." Peggy hasn't heard a word from Micheal since she asked him to leave her home shortly after her daughter's arrival, the day she asked him to either love her as she was or leave her alone. Clearly he'd made his choice. "That's wonderful, Mum. I'm happy for them." She replies to her mother, a slightly forced smile on her painted lips. Then she steps away from the elder Carter, walking off towards her little one. "Gentle, Nattie, pet the puppy gently, love."
That spring Peggy gets a call from her mother telling her that Michael's had a daughter, Sharon Marie Carter, and that everyone is doing well. Micheal lives in Connecticut, but it's a long distance call from her mother in England that informs Peggy that she's an aunt. It hurts, it hurts a lot that she and Michael aren't in a place where they can share their lives. Their daughters are cousins, they should grow up together, but Michael made his choice. A voice from the kitchen table cuts through Peggy's hurt, bringing her attention back to the good things in her life.
"Aunt Peggy!" Tony's voice is pitched a little high in concern as he points to the oven. "I think the cookies are burning!"
"Bullocks!" Peggy mutters softly as she dashes towards the oven to save the mother's day cookies she's helping Tony and Nattie bake "Bulls locks." Her blue-green eyed toddler repeats and Peggy holds in a laugh. "That's a grown up word, poppet. Please don't say it around Mama. I don't want to lose the bet about which one of us teaches you to swear first."
"Don't worry Aunt Peggy." Tony reassured innocently. "Dad already taught her how to say fuck."
Natasha giggled as she repeated. "Oh fuck!"
"Grown up words, children!" Peggy scolds half heartedly while stifling a laugh.
Natasha is three and a half years old when her grandfather Harrison has a heart attack. They are already in London. Peggy was temporarily working out of the London office while Angie reprised her most successful role to date on the West End. Peggy stands perfectly still, not even breathing, as she grips the phone in her hand after receiving the call from her mother. It isn't until she felt Natasha hugging her leg that she is able to shake off her shock and dread and snaps into action. She calls the theater to leave a message for Angie and then packs up Natasha's bag and heads off to the hospital. She steps into the surgical waiting room with her red haired daughter perched on her hip and makes her way straight over to her mother. Harrison is in surgery. Amanda doesn't know more than that because no one will tell her anything. Peggy places Natasha in her grandmother's lap, her mother's arms instantly going around the little girl to cuddle, and then storms off to find out what is happening with her father.
Angie arrives still half in her stage clothes and make-up. Peggy had told the stage manager she spoke with on the phone to give Angie the message after the final curtain of the evening, but he must have given it to her during intermission, because there she was hours before she should have been, seated beside Amanda, one hand holding the older woman's hand, and the other holding tightly to her rosary.
It's really late and Natasha is fussing and cranky, but Peggy needs to stay, and selfishly she wants Angie and their daughter with her. So she holds Natasha to her chest, the little girl's head resting on her shoulder, the warmth of her daughter's breath on her neck, and walks the floor back and forth as she tries to soothe her child to sleep.
When Natasha finally falls asleep in her mother's arms Amanda calls out gently, "Peggy, dear, some sit." She pats the open space on her other side. "You look as tired as she is."
Peggy wants to protest, she wants to keep pacing, but she does as her mother asks. She walks over and sits beside the elder Carter. Amanda puts her arm around her daughter and draws her close. Peggy lays her head on her own mother's shoulder just like Natasha rests on hers. She brings her legs up beside her, carefully adjusting Natasha in her arms, and cuddles into her mother's side. As she allows her eyes to drift close, Peggy hears her mother gently encouraging Angie to rest as well and can hear her wife settling in on her mother's other side.
That's how Micahel finds them when he arrives from Berlin where he'd been on a business trip.
Peggy sensed someone watching them and was instantly awake. When she saw it was her brother her heart pinched painfully in her chest as a swirl of emotions hit her, joining in on the emotional maelstrom she was already trying to survive. As gently as she could Peggy disentabled herself from her mother and ever so gently placed Natasha into Angie's arms. Then she walked over to her brother. "Michael."
"Peggy." Michael replied, the tenison and unease between them turning his stomach. "How's Dad?"
"Still in surgery." She answered as she checked her watch. "The average bypass takes six to eight hours bar any complications. They should be finishing in an hour or so." The pair stood there in awkward silence until Amanda called out Peggy's name. "I'm here Mum." She reassured. "And so is Michael. I'm going to go and see if I can't get some kind of update on Dad."
"I'll come with ya, English." Angie said a bit sleepily as she stood and then reached for Nattie's bag. "Need to find a place to clean up the little miss."
Michael pulled out of the hug he'd been giving his mother to watch as his sister left. "She can't even stand to be around me."
"Can't really blame her." Amanda replied. "Not after the way you've been acting."
The surgeon appeared shortly after Peggy and Angie had finally returned. He told them everything went well, and that Harrison should make a full recovery. Peggy felt her knees wobble as the relief washed over her, and then instantly felt Angie at her back giving her support.
"May we see him now?" Amanda asked.
"Once he's out of recovery and into a proper room." The surgeon answered, taking in the three adults at the elder woman's back. "But only immediate family, and I'm afraid the little one won't be able to see him until he's out of ICU."
Amanda nodded her understanding and then said, "That's fine, Doctor. These are my children Margaret, Angela, and Micheal, is that immediate enough? And I'm sure my Stewart," Amanda had always used her husband's middle name rather than Harrison. "Wouldn't want our granddaughter to see him in this state."
"I'll take Nattie back to the apartment." Angie said softly to Peggy, holding tightly to her wife's hand. "You stay with your Dad, and you tell him that this was a really lousy way to get out of dominos rematch."
Peggy chuckled softly and nodded. "It's a flat dear, and I will, I promise."
A few days later while his father was being examined Michael found himself wandering the hospital since he'd been chased from his father's room. Peggy had taken their mother home to rest, shower, and eat something that wasn't hospital food, leaving him on dad watch. His sister barely said two words to him and it was eating away at him. They had been so close before the war, before he was taken, and now, now she could barely look at him, and he was well aware that it was his own damn fault. He wanted so badly to cling to the way things were before the world went to hell, that he hadn't been willing to properly grow into the new one he'd found himself in following his resecure.
As he passed the hospital chapel Micheal happened to glance in and caught sight of a somewhat familiar head of dark blonde curls. Stepping inside as quietly as his former training allowed he listened and watched. Angie, on her knees and with rosary in hand, was praying for his father's recovery, his mother's well being, for his sister's continued strength, guidance for herself so she might be what they needed her to be, and for him as well.
When she was finished Angie stood and turned away from the alter only to jump with a tiny squeal of startlement. "Oh, Michael."
"I didn't mean to…" Michael began awkwardly. "I was walking past and saw you. I admit to being curious."
"Curious about what?" Angie asked as she took a few steps towards him.
Michael waved a hand to indicate the room. "You were praying."
"And?" Angie prodded. "You don't think queer people pray? I may not pray in a Catholic church these days, but that's only because they have an issue with me. God doesn't. Our relationship is just fine, thank you." Michael looked confused and for a moment it stung a little because he made the same face Peggy did. "God isn't going to judge us for being different, He'll judge us on our actions in life. Were we kind and compassionate? Were we giving to those in need, strong for those who were weak, and honest in the way we lived. He isn't going to judge me because I love Peggy, He'll judge me on if I loved her well, if I kept my vows to her, promised in His name. Men judge purely on the differences between us, Michael, not God. So why wouldn't I continue to pray to Him?"
He did not have his sister's poker face so Michael's surprise was written all over his before it shifted into something else, something even he wasn't sure about. "How do you think he'd judge me?"
"As a really shit brother." Angie answered honestly before excusing herself.
Natasha is four years old and gleefully chasing after her red and white king charles spaniel who was named Rosie, when she spots a tall man with dark hair appoch her mother who is sat on a nearby bench. Peggy stands to greet her brother, a bit guarded but not standoffish. She relaxed a bit more when Michael introduces her to the toddler in his arms. "Peggy, meet Sharon. Sharon, this is your Aunt Peggy."
As if by magic Peggy can feel Natasha at her side the moment she has Sharon in her arms. She chuckles softly. "Nattie, love, this is your cousin Sharon, and your Uncle Michael."
Blue-green eyes dart between the blonde girl in her mother's arms and the dark haired man. Her mother wasn't completely at ease, but she didn't sense anything that said she should be leery from her. So Natasha smiled. "Hello."
Michael returned that smile as he crouched down to be eye level with Natasha. "Hello Natasha, it's very nice to finally meet you."
"Are you a Howlin' Commando too?" Natasha asks, because up until now her only uncles had been Howling Commandos, eccentric billionaire inventors, and English butlers.
"No poppet," Peggy said as she sat down on the bench, placing her two year old niece in her lap. "Michael is Mummy's older brother."
"Oh." Natasha replied. She smiled at Michael and said, "Nice to meet you." Then she turned to her mother, giving her her best puppy dog eyes. "Mummy! Can I have a brother too?"
"No dear." Peggy said easily. "You already have a Tony." She chuckled softly. "Why don't you take Sharon over there on the grass and introduce her to Rosie."
Natasha pouted for three seconds before saying, "Ok Mummy. Come on Sharon, want to meet my puppy? Grandad gave her to me and because he's Mummy's daddy, and she wasn't allowed to say no."
Peggy groaned softly with amusement as she set Sharon on her feet to toddle off with Natasha. "She is going to use that against me from here on out to get what she wants from Dad."
Michael laughed as he took a seat beside his sister. "Why do you think he put it in her head in the first place? We gave the man granddaughters, Peggy, he's going to spoil them absolutely rotten."
While her Mummy talked to her uncle Natasha sat on the grass with her dog and her cousin and played. She thought about Tony and how much she loved him and how good he was at being her big cousin, and then she looked at Sharon and smiled. "I'm your big cousin, Sharon." She told the toddler. "We're gonna be best friends. I promise."
Natasha is twelve years old and sits quietly in the first pew of the stuffy old church in Virginia. She's sat between her mothers, Peggy to her right and Angie to her life. She's wearing a simple dark navy blue dress which isn't bad, but the matching tights are itchy. She wiggles and shifts in her seat a bit as the pastor speaks, causing her Ma to reach out and place a gentle hand on her leg to still her. Natasha sighs softly. Beside her Mum sits Sharon. She's wearing a dress much like Natasha's only hers is black. Natasha hears a soft sniffle and sits forward ever so slightly to look over at her cousin. Sharon is ten, her hair is long and blonde like her mother's and held back with a black headband. In a lot of ways Sharon favors her mother just a bit more than her father. Except for her eyes, she has Carter eyes, big and brown. Sometimes a little sliver of jealousy creeps on Natasha like a caterpillar crawling across her skin because Sharon looks like her parents, because Sharon has her Mum's eyes. But it's only ever a fleeting thought because it doesn't matter if Natasha looks like her mothers, she's loved by them unconditionally and that's what's important.
Sharon's Carter brown eyes and staring straight ahead at the mahogany and brass casket just below where the pastor was speaking. Natasha allowed her own gaze to flicker towards it for a moment, but only a moment because it was hard to look at it. It unsettled her, the shiny rectangular box surrounded by flowers, because she knew her Uncle Michael's body was inside of it. He'd gotten sick a year and a half ago, cancer, and despite how hard he fought they'd lost him anyway. Fear and sadness churned in Natasha's stomach threatening to make her ill. Sadness over losing her uncle, of never hearing his laugh as he chased them around the park on Sunday afternoons, of never watching him and her Mum play chess with such serious expressions on their faces that they seemed almost silly, and never again sneaking away on hot summer days at the beach to eat ice cream until they felt sick.
The fear came everytime Natasha thought about losing her mothers. She looked up at them now, her Mum's eyes were red rimmed but her face remained stoic, her Ma looked sad and concerned, her own gaze stealing glances at her English to make sure she was alright. The thought of losing either of them nearly made Natasha double over, the tension in her belly was so bad. Closing her eyes she took a slow breath hoping to relieve some of her anxiety, and then turned her attention once more to Sharon. She was a little startled to see that Sharon was looking back. Reaching out over her Mum's lap Natasha offered Sharon her hand. Sharon took it gladly, squeezing it tightly and Natasha could tell it was trembling a bit. She tightened her grip. The girls' rested their entwined hands on Peggy's lap. Moments later Peggy rested her own hands on top of them causing the girls to look up at her and then at each other. Natasha smiled first, and then Sharon. They would always be there for each other, and Peggy would be there for them both.