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Yubel's POV

After Judai hung up, I was still trying to process everything I'd just heard. Jim was in Utah, picking up Rei, with Johan wanting to tag along? But that idiot had to get something first? Not that I cared, but wasn't it dangerous for him to come back? I just didn't get any of it. Judai's friends were real freaks.

"...What was that?" I asked, still stunned.

"Don't know, but they aren't coming back if they're running around with Johan," Judai said as he dialed another number. Looking over his shoulder, I could see that it was Manjoume.

Sheesh. Asuka this and Asuka that. Why did he have to care so much for her? Sure, she had helped him last night, but she'd been hurting him for the past six years! One night of being nice wasn't even close to enough to cover all that! Why'd that idiot forgive her so quickly, anyway? She'd made him cry and left him all alone just the day before, even! So why was he so nice to her? She should be his enemy! I was after treating him like that, so what did this bitch have that I didn't? This wasn't fair at all. He loved that bitch more than he loved me?

Manjoume's POV

Well, now I know what Judai was doing before he called me. While he was on the phone with Jim, Natsuko and Lisa dropped a bombshell on all of us with Asuka's help—they'd gotten married, drunk. And just when I thought the idiot couldn't get any worse. I mean, the drinking and flirting was bad enough, but now he was getting married in the middle of a rescue mission? Who the hell does that!?

Fubuki and Fuyuko seemed to agree with me. They both looked less than satisfied, and Fubuki looked horror-struck. Well, gee, I wonder why that was? It wasn't like we had an army of stalkers to deal with to go with this marriage fiasco!

Fubuki gasped. "Natsu! Is this true!?" He glared at the guy, somewhat disappointed.

As mad as Fubuki was, though, Fuyuko was worse. "Ugh, seriously?" he asked, a hand to his face. "This is what happens when I finally go on a date!? I leave you unsupervised for one night, and you up and get married!?"

Yup, he was fuming. He made some wild hand gestures at Natsuko while he was talking.

All things considered, the guy's sister should have been mad, too. As it was, however, it seemed idiocy ran in the family. Her reaction was the exact opposite.

"Hi, nice to meet you," she said, holding out a hand to Lisa with an amused look on her face. "I'm Akiko, your new sister-in-law."

"...Hi..." Lisa said, seeming nervous. She was holding her arm and looking down slightly.

Can't say that I blamed her for being nervous. After all, drunken marriages were some of the worst possible things you could ever do in a lifetime! But, as interesting as that was, what Akiko had just done was even dumber. I mean, for crying out loud! She just welcomed this foreign stranger into her family with open arms! Can these fools get any weirder? They were giving my band of morons a run for their money, and that was saying something! After all, I just spent the past nine years hanging out with a Dark Magician Girl "fiance" who tried to steal my girl twice and a self-proclaimed lady-loving idol who never even went into the business after school. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know what he was doing now—it was probably something stupid.

Others in my group loved dragging live crocodiles everywhere they freaking went; dreamed of becoming a dinosaur, literally, and got a T-Rex bone put in to prove it; another believed in self harm for the sake of pleasing the crowd (Seriously, who works himself so ragged that his hand is always bleeding, anyway!?); and the last two nut jobs were the worst of all! One didn't even know what planet he was living on and made friends with crazy stalkers on a regular basis, and the other was his forever-lost twin!

And just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder, here these four "seasons" were stalking me, marrying total strangers, accepting them as family, and dating girls they claimed they couldn't stand!

Wait a minute! What was that last part again?

I started thinking of what Fuyuko had said he was doing. Okay, so he wasn't keeping that one idiot out of trouble because he was with someone else? And that someone was a girl, since he said he was on a date and I doubted he went that way, and the only girl I had ever seen him with was—

"F-for real!?" I asked him, my eyes wide, feeling hopeful for a change. "That's where you two were all afternoon yesterday!? This isn't a joke, right? You're actually dating now, right? Right!?"

"Yes," Haruko said. "And, Natsu, I'm so happy for you!" She jumped up and down, clapping her hands together in front of her. Then she stopped, looking confused, as she added, "I think..."

Oh, no freakin' way! Was she serious!? That would be a dream come true, if she was! Why, with that, I'd finally be stalker-free! Then all we'd have to worry about was the stalker-stealing clown! After all, Ai wasn't the first one he'd taken. Rei was stalking the Kaiser before that idiot decided he liked being stalked rather than being left alone. Seriously, who does that to themselves? You don't act better than the guy being stalked with the stalker right there! Sheesh.

"You were drunk, weren't you!?" Fuyuko demanded, looking about ready to strangle someone. His eyes were practically bulging out of his head from rage. "Honestly, I never thought I'd be the best man at your wedding, but I never thought it was because you'd get married drunk!"

Heh, clearly that idiot was in for it. He just got a poor, innocent girl drunk and married to him, after all. Oh, well. Not my problem. My problems were Judai, Sho, Asuka, and Haruko, and Fuyuko was fixing some of that!

...Hold up. Did I just say I had four problems, and only one was being solved. Ai, you're a real bitch for what you did to these morons. Now Sho was mad, and Asuka was taking your side! This was getting ridiculous! How much damage can one deranged princess cause!?

That weirdo Akiko dragged me away from those uncomfortable thoughts with her next action.

"Yeah, we both thought it was because you'd never get married," she said, crossing her arms and smirking.

Yep, that's right. She was smirking. Smirking! At her idiotically drunken, married brother!? What was she on, anyway? Stupid pills? No sane person would be glad for that in a hundred million years! Sheesh! Was anyone smart around here, or was it just me?

"Yeah, man! What were you thinking!?" Fubuki asked, looking downright disappointed and horror-struck. He waved both his arms through the air as he spoke, emphasizing his point. Well, for that moment, at least, he was sane!

Natsuko sweat, then rubbed the back of his head and said, "I wasn't?"

No, duh, he wasn't. You don't think when you're blind, stinking drunk! What kind of an idiot lets that happen, anyway!?

"Clearly!" Fuyuko snapped in Natsuko's face.

Well, as entertaining as this whole "I got drunk and married" mess had been, there was just one thing said today that was even more important. Haruko. I mean, she'd gone on a fucking date with Fuyuko! A date! That meant she was with the guy now! So, if that was true, Stalker Island was about to get one less stalker. And it was mine. This was too good to be true, and, knowing Haru, it wasn't.

Well, only one way to find out.

I moved toward her, getting up close, trying to hide my excitement and look serious instead. After all, this was great news. One less stalker would mean one less problem to worry about. That, and a great reason to celebrate, what with me being stalker-free after five long years.

I brushed off the Natsuko thing and spoke to Haruko in a more serious but cautious tone. Better safe than sorry, after all. "Yeah, yeah, that's great. Congratulations. Now, Haru, you're sure about this one, right? I mean—"

Before I could finish that thought, my blasted phone went off, signaling one thing. What had that fucking Ai been up to now? I was in the middle of something important here!

I answered my phone, still annoyed but covering it up with my usual seriousness. "Yeah? What's up?"

"Manjoume, Asuka's in danger," Judai said on the other end of the line.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

That was not what I expected to hear at all. Tenjoin was in danger? That dumb bitch had betrayed us all! What the hell did he mean she was in danger!? He was the one trapped in the enemy's clutches! Tenjoin was walking on easy street!

Everyone in the room looked over at me in concern. Well, gee, I wonder why everyone was doing that? It wasn't like me getting called on my private line was an emergency call from Judai. He was the only guy with that number, after all.

"What is it, Manjoume-senpai?" Kenzan asked.

"She's been acting like she hates me to get on Ai's good side, and she figured she was in too deep to just pull out, so she kept acting. Well, Ai's onto her."

...Okay, that one made no sense at all! Acting? Got in too deep? What kind of crazy nonsense was this guy spouting? She sounded angry to me! And, with everything Fubuki told us the night before, it made total sense why! What the hell was this guy talking about?

Even though I knew he couldn't see it, I reflexively held up a hand to signal for Judai to slow down and explain himself. This was just confusing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, you lost me. What do you mean it was just acting? It seemed real enough to me. And, from what I've heard, she—"

Before I could finish that, the fool in question spoke up, sounding concerned. "Is that Judai? What's going on now?"

Looking over at her, Asuka Tenjoin looked concerned, too. …Concerned. She was looking concerned. After everything she had done. And Judai said it was just acting? Yeah, this needed addressed ASAP. Judai's little problems could wait. This was way too important to ignore.

I covered the mouth piece, giving Tenjoin a serious but somewhat confused look. "He says your act's been found out. Funny, since we didn't even know you were acting. What gives, Tenjoin?"

"Yeah! Since when did you decide to start doing that?" Kenzan asked, sounding about as confused as I felt. I mean, if that was true, why hadn't she told anyone about it? We could have helped that little act along! Seriously, why was everyone so stupid? "And why'd you continue it after—"

Tenjoin cut him off there, sounding defensive. "I didn't have a choice, okay? Ai thought I was concerned about her safety, so I had to stay so she wouldn't catch on. And I didn't tell you guys because I didn't think some of you could keep a secret, and I didn't want to risk Ai catching on by either seeing me with you guys or seeing me take off for this place, okay?"

...Okay, that had to be the first intelligent thing she'd said all week! At least, to the majority of us, that is. Yeah, I had to agree with her. Many of these weirdos had big mouths. Off the top of my head, I could name with certainty Sho Marufuji, Tyranno Kenzan, Fubuki Tenjoin, and the piece de resistance, Judai Yuki. Oh, if that guy had found out too soon, he'd have blown the whole thing before Tenjoin-kun could even get us the information we needed! Adding to all that the fact that Haruko the gossip girl had shown up, and there were more blabber mouths here than a high school girls' sleepover! That excuse made perfect sense.

Don't know what she told Ai to get herself stuck here, but at least she wasn't a traitor.

As I thought about this, there was a pause between her words and my response. At last, I said, "Okay."

I mean, that I could forgive. I probably would have done the same thing myself. Now all that was left of this new development was alerting Judai to the fact that Tenjoin-kun was okay. This should be fun. He worried about her more than Sho worried about him!

I uncovered the mouthpiece, turning my attention back to Judai. "You were saying?"

"Ai's starting to think she's acting, and there's no way she's just gonna let it slide," he said. "You've gotta warn her!"

I smirked. This was gonna be fun. He was worried about someone who was already here! "Thanks. But she already knows."

I put the phone on speaker so that everyone could hear what was going on. Funny how they both seemed to know, though. Tenjoin-kun didn't seem surprised by this at all. What did that idiot do now? Blow her cover with her right there to hear it?

I glanced at Tenjoin-kun, amused. Judai's stupidity was incredible sometimes. "Right, Tenjoin-kun?"

"Uh..."

Okay, was it my imagination, or did she look and sound a bit nervous?

"Asuka?" Judai asked.

"Hi," she said, sweating. "Judai. How are you?"

Yeah, she was nervous, alright. What, had she blown her own cover? Tenjoin-kun was smarter than that! What the hell was going on here?

Apparently Fubuki was just as confused as me. He looked a bit stunned when he said, "Whoa. Talk about freaky. How can you guys both know what's going on right now at the same time?"

He looked at Tenjoin-kun, curious. Her reaction got my curiosity piqued, too. She turned away slightly, looking off to the side. Did I mention she was rubbing an arm like the newlywed drunken bride had been? 'Cause she was!

"It's a...long story..."

Okay, clearly something had happened to those two. But what the hell was it?

I didn't have much time to think about it before Judai spoke up again, saying, "Ai just tried to ambush me, said something...ominous...then ran off and shrank the barrier again."

Can you say "face-smacking moment?" 'Cause I sure could! That little heathen was worse than ever! When it came to cruelty, she was the queen!

As I slapped myself in the face (told you it was a face-smacking moment), Kenzan sat forward on the other couch, his eyes wide. "What!? Now where are you stuck at? Surely it's not that dumb resort, is it?"

Fubuki and Tenjoin-kun looked less than pleased with Kenzan's comment about their family's resort. Fubuki put on a lame look, and Tenjoin-kun closed her eyes in annoyance.

"Uh, Kenzan?" Fubuki said lamely. "Our family built that place, so I'd appreciate you not insulting it, please."

"Yeah. It's not our fault Ai's abusing the place, you know," Tenjoin-kun added, sounding just as annoyed as she looked.

Well, clearly the Tenjoins would feel that way! They owned the place! I mean, really! Ai shouldn't even have been there in the first place, so why blame the freaking building? Talk about a stupid move, Kenzan.

Kenzan sweat, laughing awkwardly. He should be, too. He just insulted his friends' stuff, after all.

"No," Judai answered. "I can't get there anymore. I'm stuck on the beach."

I smirked some, thinking about that. That was almost amusing. Just think: Judai Yuki, the wanderer, outside in the cold, with no shelter, every single night. Boy, if Ai wasn't an immediate threat because of that, it would be hilarious. This was a golden opportunity to pick on the guy, though, and there was no way I was gonna miss it.

"Heh. Well, that sucks. And how's that working out for you?"

Tenjoin-kun glared at me then. Figured. She always had to ruin my fun, didn't she? But the guy was making it too easy just then! "Manjoume!" she snapped.

"Guys, this is serious," Fubuki said. "Judai's stuck outside, and Junko and Kyle are in trouble, too! Maybe we should send someone over there to get them also."

Okay, so the guy had a point. Picking on Judai could wait until another day. Right now, getting everyone safely out of Ai's grasp was way more important. Judai needed a hiding place, Junko needed to come here now, and Kyle... Actually, Kyle would probably be alright. The guy was tougher than he looked and way smarter than anyone currently gathered in this room. Well, aside from Fuyuko and the Kaiser, that is.

"What does Kyle look like?" Fuyuko asked. "Blonde hair? Green eyes? Someone we should keep out of sight of Haruko?"

And yet another good point! Haru loved body builders and overly attractive men. Sure, Kyle was no O'Brien, but neither was Fuyuko, or, for that matter, me. He was buff enough to count! And his looks put the majority of us to shame. Luckily I wasn't one of them. But Haru'd be all over Kyle like stink on a skunk, as the Americans like to say. Maybe he would be safer back at the resort with Ai!

"Fuyuko! I'm surprised at you! You met him just last year! Don't you remember?" Fubuki asked.

"Yeah, bro! What gives?" Natsuko agreed.

...So even the new guy knew Kyle? Hmm... Wonder how he felt about him? Everyone in my circus show loved the guy, so I couldn't see why an outsider wouldn't.

Fuyuko closed his eyes and crossed his arms, saying, "I tend to try to forget any fiascoes involving what I like to call mad Tokugawa schemes, if you don't mind. Regardless, I think Kyle can handle himself. If we relocate them, it will just serve to confirm Ai's suspicions."

...Okay, that's it! What the hell is a "mad Tokugawa scheme?" And does it have anything to do with "weird cats?" It was starting to sound like Fuyuko hailed from a group of lunatics, too! What's a "mad Tokugawa scheme," anyway? I was definitely asking about that one later.

And, on that other note, he was right. Ai was already suspicious. A sudden, unexpected evacuation would only serve to prove her right. They needed to stay there, at least for now. Kyle could take care of them all, and everybody in the room knew it, too.

Since he'd come up, we all started talking about Kyle's greatness. After all, he was pretty cool.

Kenzan's eyes lit up as he said, "Yeah! No worries, guys! Kyle's an awesome fighter!" He pointed at himself with pride. "I should know. We've gotten in the ring before, and, boy, was he good. Mostly because he was so clever, but still. Kyle's got Junko's back!" He closed his eyes, looking proud.

Yeah, that was one of his better traits. He chose brains over brawn. Anyone who can do that clearly knows what matters. It's not about how strong you are, it's all about your skills.

"With Ai being a princess, being clever is the best way to fight her," Fuyuko said with a slight smile. "No physical force involved, so the family can't complain."

And that was another good point. Sure, Ai never did anything when you did club her royal skull, but the point was she might, and, if that were to happen, the idiot who did it would pay dearly. Take that dumb Johan, for example. When he told us he "had to go," he'd "threatened a princess," I nearly fell out of my chair from embarrassment!

"That's good," the Kaiser said. "Then there's nothing to worry about. When it comes to cleverness, no one I know can compare."

Judai's POV

I was starting to wonder if they even remembered that I was on the phone with them. I mean, they were talking to each other about how great Kyle was, as if they'd totally forgotten I was still on the line. How protective Kyle was; how they could always count on him; how he had this, hands down... It was sounding like they liked and trusted him more than they did me. Even Manjoume, who didn't have anything good to say about most of us half the time, had nothing but great stuff to say about Kyle.

I liked the guy less and less the more I heard. Tired of hearing about how much better Kyle was, I hung up. After all, my message was delivered, Asuka was safe, and they clearly didn't want to talk to me, anyway.

Manjoume's POV

Alright, as fun as talking about Kyle was, someone needed to get us back on track. And, since I was the only one here still thinking about it, it seemed it was up to me. Smiling proudly, knowing that Kyle had this six ways to Sunday, I tried to get that idiot on the phone some help. He was still stranded out there with Ai, after all.

"Well, anyway, now that that's settled, what do you wanna do about your problem?" I asked him. "Want us to see about building you a grass hut or something?"

That last part was meant to tease him, but something similar might work. All he needed was a safe, warm, dry spot to crash, so maybe some sort of house would do the trick. Coming up with a reason for building it should be fun, though. After all, who builds a house on a public beach without a damn good reason for putting one there?

We all waited patiently for Judai to answer. Hopefully he'd have some ideas. But no answer ever came.

"...Hello?"

Still nothing.

Okay, what gives? Had he hung up on us? What an idiot! This was not the time for that. Go be angsty somewhere else! Ai was gonna get you, for crying out loud!