sorry it took so long, i'm bad at this lol. also I get the fleet is stretch but idc my dudes. Also, you KNOW that poe is a dramatic bitch, like plz. why am i not allowed double line breaks? and yes, another part is coming.

Everything is black; the sky, the parachute above me, and the earth beneath that's threatening to swallow me as I draw closer and closer. My downward climb has started to slow, and I pull at the strings to try and control my landing. I spy a fleet of grounded enemy fighters and angle towards them. The lightning's gone but I still feel an awful ghost of the choking sensation.

I'm almost on the ground, just a little more, c'mon-

BOOM!

I hear a deafening explosion from above me just before its tumultuous heat and force hits me as a wall. It sends me flying down for the last few metres of my descent.

I'm not sure if I blacked out at all but holy shit did that fall hurt. My head's bleeding and some ribs are definitely cracked but I'm alive.

Now I've just got to keep it that way.

I roll over onto my back and stare up at the night sky; it is almost completely blotted out by ships.

I don't remember there being that many s- wait…

Despite myself and the pain in my chest, I can't help but raise my fist in the air and shout, "They came! The Resistance came!"

The sky is filled to every corner with Resistance ships of every size and standard and colour, and it is a sight I'll never forget. This spark of hope gives me the strength to clamber to my feet and start towards the fighters.

I'm climbing into the nearest fighter when the terrible screech of tearing metal freezes me in my tracks. I look up to see a First Order Star Destroyer swiftly plunge into the earth, and seconds later a powerful shockwave almost knocks me to the ground. My head is still painfully ringing and for a second, I can't move. Then the moment passes, and it subsides. I scan the fight above and see more Destroyers are falling to the guns of our fleet.

While this brings me great joy, it also means that I am running out of time. I scramble up into the cockpit and start the engine.

More and more Star Destroyers are crashing into the black earth, sending up dust that clouds my vision and setting off earthquakes that shake the entire ship. Just as I get the fighter to hover off the ground, I'm cloaked in shadow. I don't want to look up, already knowing what's coming, but I can't help it. A massive Destroyer is hurtling towards me and I need to move now. I push the throttle and shoot forwards. Right now, I'm not so concerned with up so much as with surviving.

I'm transmitting my call sign on every frequency, but it seems Resistance fighters aren't willing to look past the insignia of the side of my ship. I sharply ascend to avoid a crashing Destroyer only to be met by friendly fire. As much as I want to stick around to see this battle through, I need to get out of here before I'm shot down by my own side. The rapid turns and evasions are also making me feel like my head is going to explode.

As I fly, I try to spot Poe's X-wing but there is too much chaos. You better still be airborne, Poe Dameron. I still have a lot to say to you, asshole.

Suddenly, I see a patch of clear sky and gun the engine while still trying to shake the Resistance X-wing on my tail. I break through the atmosphere and start punching in the coordinates for Ajan Kloss. Thankfully, the X-wing quickly returns to battle, evidently more concerned with the remaining Star Destroyers than a sole First Order deserter. The static ringing of unconsciousness is resonating around my head, calling me to let go, but I can't stop, not yet.

If I pass out here, my own friends will shoot me out of the sky.

I enter the last number and start the jump to lightspeed. The kaleidoscope of lights has barely begun before I finally slip into the black.

"I repeat, unregistered fighter, do not enter atmosphere or you will be shot down!"

Why…Why would I be shot down?...Who's shooting me?...

"First Order TIE Fighter, if you enter Ajan Kloss airspace, you will be shot down!"

Wait…First Order…Shit!

"Wait! This is X-wing pilot Kessandra James, call sign Black Eight. My X-wing was shot down over Exegol. Please don't shoot me." The words are slightly slurred.

"Kessandra? I- Ok, I'm going to need confirmation. What's your pilot code?"

I… I can't remember.

"I- Uh- 178...4…9? I'm going to be honest with you, I think I have a concussion and I can't remember. Please don't shoot."

"Crap, ok...Well- that's close, um- you can land but- you step out of line and we will take you down."

"Duly noted, sir, and sorry if I screw up the landing."

The time between being in orbit and landing on the Ajan Kloss runway passes in a colourful blur. I do land alright (how exactly, I'm really not sure) and flick open the hatch before even killing the engine. Eventually, the drive does fall silent and I'm thankful for the lull. Maker, I'm so tired.

"Kessandra!" The voice is very distant and indistinct.

"Kessandra James, call sign Black Eight… Are the other pilots back?" I just can't keep my eyes open.

"Kess, you're hurt!"

"Where is Poe? Is he safe?"

Someone is speaking but I can't understand them. I'm home. But where's Poe? He better be alright. I don't know what to do if he's not.

"Poe…Where's Poe?" I close my eyes and sink into the awaiting darkness.

~0~0~0~0~

The homecoming to Ajan Kloss is bittersweet. The First Order is dead but what we lost…I don't know if I can bear it. I'm so thankful for Finn beside me; I let him take all questions and congratulations while I silently nod and attempt to smile. Normally, I can act like the others; celebrate the living now and ask forgiveness from the dead later. But Kess is gone and I'm not sure how much meaning there is left in the universe without her.

What's the point of surviving the war if home's nothing but ashes?

When I see Rey amongst the crowd, bloodied but very much alive, for a second everything's ok. Finn and I sprint towards her and we envelope each other. Amidst the chaos, we stay that way for a little while, just holding each other tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Poe," Rey's voice is grief-stricken.

I pull away to look Rey in the face. There are tears streaming down her face and for a second, I can't say it. I can't say the words and make it true.

"First Leia and now- I was so close and then she just-" I crack.

I can't bear to look at either of them as the tears start, "What am I supposed to do?! Kess- She- She's dead!"

As I drop to my knees and feel the grief sink into my chest, Rey and Finn follow me and hold me close while I weep for what I've lost.

It turns out that being alone is worse. I can hear the voices of those who will never return from Exegol and the gentle memories feel like accusations of guilt. But loudest of them all, the one that echoes off the walls of my empty room, is Kess' laugh. It always made me smile but now it's just causes my chest to ache.

I can't bear the quiet. "I told you that you had to survive, Kess…Now I don't know what to do without you."

The silence offers no answer. It feels like a condemning witness, reminding me that this is inevitable, that I will always end up alone. Numbly, I turn on the music player to break the still. The opening strings of a waltz begins, and a memory rises without warning.

"I told you that I can't dance, Poe." Kess seems slightly shy about the fact.

Her hair is loose around her shoulders for once and she looks glorious. I catch myself reaching up touch it and instead offer my hand.

"That's just because you never had an excellent teacher like myself."

Kess rolls her eyes. "One day that ego is going to bite you the ass, you know that?"

My tone is honey sweet, "That's why I keep you around to keep me in check, my dear Kess,"

She huffs in faux annoyance but steps forward to take my hand anyway. The warmth of her hand is intoxicating, and I draw her closer automatically. As we gently bump into each other, Kess raises a curious eyebrow and I'm lost in her eyes for a moment. She squeezes my hand, and I'm back.

I squeeze back. "Let's begin. I'll make a dancer of you yet."

I lay back onto the bed slowly as the music drifts over me. I can feel the ghost of her as Kess' gentle laughter starts the tears all over again.

"Poe, I don't want to stand on your feet, I'll hurt you!"

"Don't worry about me, Kess, you can't hurt me."

"Poe, you-"

There's a series of sharp knocks on the door.

Finn's voice is faint through the metal, "Poe, I know you're in there. It's me, open up!"

The hint of urgency in his voice has me immediately on my feet. Please don't let the First Order be on its way. I don't think I have the strength. The door slides open with a clang. The fear loosens its grip on my heart when I see the massive smile on his face.

"She's alive, Poe! Kess is alive!"

…

I grab Finn by the shoulders to stay upright. My head is filled with white noise and my mouth won't work.

"I was in the medical wing with Rey and Dr Tsuana, you know her, she asked me-"

I cut him off by shaking him. "You're sure? Finn, are you sure? Because I can't- If she's not- I…" My voice trembles and trails off.

Steadily, Finn cradles my face so I'm forced to look him in the eye and nods.

"I saw her with my own eyes, Poe. She's unconscious but is going to be alright. Poe, Kess is alive!"

It takes a couple of seconds to properly compute, to sink in, and for my heart to tentatively accept it.

Alive?

Alive.

Shaking Finn off, I start running. I don't care that I'm barefoot, all that matters is that Kess is alive. I can hear Finn yelling behind me but I'm not waiting. The people that see me coming jump out of the way and shout out questions as I run past. The ones that don't are pulled out of the way by their friends. Finn is offering answers and excuses in my trail of disorder but I'll deal with the consequences later. I push through the medical wing door with a slam.

I shout at the nearest orderly, "Where is Kessandra James?!"

He meekly points down the corridor and I'm off again. As I round the corner, a hand grabs my wrist and I turn to see Dr Tsuana.

Her tone is measured, "She's just down here. You need to slow down, General, this is no place to run…Follow me."

Despite every instinct telling me to go, I fall into pace beside her. She slowly (so damn slowly) walks down the passage until reaching a non-descript door.

"Don't wake her, Dameron." Dr Tsuana turns away.

My heart's racing but I suddenly find that I'm nervous to open the door. There is this heavy fear in my stomach that there's been a mistake, that I'll open the door and someone who's not Kess will be there. To lose her once was one thing, but twice… I push away the thought and open the door.