They sat talking for another couple of hours then Harold and Bunty really had to go, Jill and Gordon had gone in to make a start on dinner. The kids had left them to it knowing they needed to talk things through. The boys were still playing football, the ball came over to Ash,
"Go, on Ash kick it back" said Tom
Ash got up
"They are watching" warned Katie
"So" replied Ash, kicking the football back
There was a tap from the window
"I, told you they were watching" said Katie
"What, it's not like I'm playing" replied Ash turning to look at the kitchen window, Jill and Gordon were stood there shaking their heads. Ash sat back down and mouthed sorry
"This place is no fun anymore" said Ash
"They are just looking out for you, I mean with those injuries, some people wouldn't be out of hospital yet" replied Jonathon
"I know, sometimes, I just" started Ash, before stopping what she was saying knowing she was saying too much
Before anyone could question her, she got up and went indoors
"Alright, sweetheart" said Jill as Ash made her way in
"Yeah, I just need a little time on my own" replied Ash, walking through and making her way towards the stairs before they could answer
Ash went to her room and turned her music on, she shut her door and climbed on her bed she was frustrated with everything that was going on and now to top it all off Sister wasn't coming to see her
Meanwhile Jill and Gordon were still in the kitchen, Gordon could tell Jill was worried
"Why, don't you go and talk" said Gordon
"No, you heard her she needs space" replied Jill
"But she also, needs to talk" replied Gordon
"Yes, and in her mind, she has just been abandoned by sister again" replied Jill
"All the more reason to talk, why don't you just take her a drink up and see what happens" replied Gordon, Jill was thinking about it
"I'll, keep an eye on dinner" added Gordon
Jill knew it would be worth a try, so she grabbed a couple of glasses and filled them with lemonade, she then gave Gordon a peck on the cheek before going upstairs. She gently tapped on the door, but there was no answer from inside, she knocked again a little louder.
There was still no answer, she slowly opened the door in case Ash was a sleep, she noticed Ash was led on her bed and that she had her music on, it was loud enough that Jill could hear the beat, she put the glasses down on the desk, then made her way towards Ash.
Ash saw the movement out of the corner of her eye and slipped her headphones off
"Sorry, I thought you might like a drink" said Jill
"Thanks" replied Ash
"Can I get you anything else" asked Jill
"No, thanks, I'm sorry for kicking the ball" replied Ash turning her music off
"We, were just worried you might start playing, we know how rough the boys can get" explained Jill
Jill went to leave and was already in the doorway, she saw Gordon at the bottom of the stairs
"Why, doesn't she want me" asked Ash
"She does, she loves you very much" replied Jill turning back around
"Funny way of showing it" replied Ash, she was about to put her head phones back on
"Can I sit down" asked Jill, Ash thought about it and then nodded
"You, remind us all of Moria, you are like her in some ways, it was difficult between Sister and her, just before she had you, there was lots of things going on and Sister feels guilty for what happened, it's best if you don't know all the details for now, but she does love you very much" said Jill
"So, it feels like when I need her she is never there" replied Ash, harshly
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean" replied Ash quickly, not wanting it to sound as if they weren't enough
"I, know what you meant" replied Jill
"Well I'm sure the week will go quickly anyway, what with the others still being here" added Jill trying to turn it into a positive
They heard someone on the stairs, it was Gordon
"Can I get you anything" asked Gordon
"No thanks" replied Jill
"Actually, do you have a minute" asked Ash
"For you, of course" replied Gordon making his way in, he pulled out the chair and sat down
"Well, to start with I am sorry, I upset you both" started Ash, Jill shook her head
"Don't pretend, I know I did and I also know, we are both blaming ourselves for everything, but I want you to know I don't blame you for anything, I know you would always put us first and would never put any of us in harm's way and I don't want you blaming yourselves" said Ash
"How, did you get so grown up, we were upset but only because we don't like seeing any of you going through the pain that you are going through, and if we could go through it instead we would" replied Jill
"I know, you would, but we don't like seeing you upset either" replied Ash, she took Jill's hand and squeezed it, she then took a deep breath
"That's why the next thing I'm going to ask is for you, can I get an appointment to talk to someone" said Ash apprehensively
Ash, looked at Gordon and then at Jill, she could see the pain in their eyes
"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's just I don't want to upset you more than I have" continued Ash
Jill looked at Gordon, pleading him to stop her
"Sweetheart, we like to think you could talk to us about anything" said Gordon
"I can, it's just" started Ash
"That's settled then, you can talk to us" interrupted Gordon getting up and going back downstairs to check on dinner
"Sweetheart, what he means is, we only get upset because we care" said Jill once Gordon had gone
"I know, but I feel I've caused enough hurt to last a lifetime" replied Ash
"That's not possible, besides we would still worry whether you talk to us or not, because we are your parents" replied Jill, come on let's go down diners nearly ready getting up
"Thanks" replied Ash getting up and giving her a cuddle
"No, thank you, I know it isn't easy, I know I've found it hard talking about it with your father" replied Jill
"I'm always, free to listen" replied Ash
"Thank you, but it's not fair on you" replied Jill
"I mean it, you are always there for me, I want to repay you" replied Ash
Ash followed Jill downstairs, they went through to the kitchen
"Just in time, I was just about to call you" said Gordon
"Shall we sit outside" said Jill
"Yeah" said Ash
"Okay, Ash do you think you could manage to take this out" asked Gordon, handing the cutlery, salt and pepper and tomato sauce
"Yes, I think so" replied Ash, going out the door
Katie helped take some of the things off of her as she reached the table, then went inside to help bring out the plates
When they were, all sat down, Jill had sat next to Ash so she could help cut up her food
"So, what are we doing tomorrow" asked Katie
"It's alright, Katie knows, I talked to her" said Ash, seeing the looks on her parents faces
"What's going on" asked Jonathon and Tom, feeling left out
"Sister is not coming, she's staying another week" replied Ash
"Sorry" said Jonathon
"Why, you didn't do anything, I'd rather not talk about it" replied Ash
Jill had finished cutting her food and had given her, her plate, she wasn't feeling that hungry, but she knew she had to eat, especially as she hadn't eaten that much at lunch time
"Well, we thought seeing as it's supposed to be nice, and Matron was coming around, we might go to the beach" said Jill, trying to change the subject to a nicer one, she knew Ash had been putting a brave face on for them earlier
They sat having dinner and talking about what they would take with them tomorrow, they had agreed a time they would be leaving, once they had finished they sent the older three in to do the washing up and to make the drinks
Ash was feeling guilty, it was her turn to do the washing up, but as they pointed out, she couldn't do it because of her cast
"We, need to ask you something" said Gordon
"Okay" replied Ash, not sure where this was going
"Are, you alright with Sister, not coming" asked Gordon
"I don't have much choice, she has made her decision, I'm just hurt that she couldn't tell me herself" said Ash
"That's understandable" replied Jill
"She didn't even ask how, I was" said Ash getting upset, Jill put an arm around her
"I'm not sure, I want to see her" said Ash
"Well, we'll see, give it a few days and then see how you feel" said Gordon trying to be diplomatic
"I don't think I will change my mind, I'm fed up of her only showing up when it suits her, she thinks she knows best, but when I need her she's never there, not like you two" replied Ash starting to cry
"Sshhhh, it's alright, we are behind you whatever you decide" said Jill wiping away the tears
"Yes, that's right, we are behind you" said Gordon
"Thanks" replied Ash
"Just, promise to think about it, you've been through a lot" said Gordon
"I promise" replied Ash, but Jill knew she had already been thinking about it for a while, she knew Ash wasn't the type to just decide on something like this she had been stewing on it for a while
"Why, don't you go and see how the others are doing" said Jill to Gordon
Gordon went inside
"Baby, how long have you felt this way" asked Jill
"I don't know, a while" said Ash trying to put off answering it
"Truthfully, I know you, you wouldn't just come out with something like this" said Jill
"Okay, I suppose I've been thinking more about it lately, but I suppose I've been feeling like this for the past year" said Ash
"Why, wait until now" asked Jill
"I suppose, because she is family and you can't choose family and I thought maybe I was just expecting too much from her, I mean compared to others I feel she hardly knows anything about me, and sometimes it just feels like she isn't interested" replied Ash
"She does care, it's just hard, when she joined the sisters she had to give up a lot" said Jill
"That's no excuse, either she wants to know or she doesn't, I don't want any in-between any more" replied Ash
Before anymore could be said the others had finished and were making their way out
"Okay, you will have to talk to her and it won't be easy, but we will be with you all the way" said Jill
"Thanks, I know, but I have to do this, otherwise I'm going to hate her more" replied Ash just as the others joined them
"What are you talking about" asked Tom
"Tomorrow" replied Jill
"What about it" asked Tom
"I was just asking" started Jill
"What cake we should have" interrupted Ash
"You said chocolate right, there is only one type of cake and that is chocolate" replied Katie
"Of course, she did" replied Jill, giving Ash's hand a quick squeeze to say thank you for helping to get out of that one
They sat talking about nothing important for half an hour, then Jill got up
"Where are you going" asked Katie
"Well, I've got to go shopping, for food for tomorrow, especially as I've got to make a chocolate cake" replied Jill
"Can I come" asked Ash
"Of course, you can, but I'm going now" replied Jill
"Okay, I'm ready" replied Ash
"Right, we will be back soon" replied Jill going inside to get her bag and keys, Ash went around the side of the house and met Jill by her car