Ash could she the look of panic in her parent's eyes
"What's wrong" she asked
"Can, you remember what you were dreaming about, before we woke you up" asked Gordon
"Yeah, I've had some of the flashbacks before" replied Ash
Jill and Gordon looked at each other and Ash, thought she had said something wrong and was starting to get upset
"It's, alright sweetheart" said Jill sitting on the bed, next to Ash and giving her a cuddle, trying her best to comfort her
"I'm, sorry I didn't mean to wake you" sobbed Ash
"Hey, don't worry about us" replied Gordon
"But" started Ash
"Hey, what did I just say" interrupted Gordon
Jill could tell that this, was going nowhere
"Gordon, why don't you go back to bed" said Jill, looking at Gordon
"Okay, just call if you need me" replied Gordon, feeling a little left out, but he also knew Ash would probably talk to Jill more openly
"Night, Dad" replied Ash
"Night, sweetheart" replied Gordon
Jill, waited until Gordon had shut Ash's bedroom door
"So, what happened" asked Jill, keeping the questioning fairly open, so that Ash didn't feel pressured into telling her, hoping Ash would give her more information
"I, was just having a bad dream, I'm sorry I woke you" replied Ash, keeping it vague, as she was worried about upsetting her mum
"So, do you want to talk about it" asked Jill
Ash, shifted her weight slightly trying to get comfy, and started picking at the stitching on her pillow
"Sweetheart, whatever you have to say, it will be alright, I promise" said Jill, seeing Ash was anxious
Ash was still thinking about it
"So, how many times have you had this happen before tonight" asked Jill, needing to know to put her mind at rest, but not trying to push too hard
"I've, not had it all together, some of it I've had before and then some was the first time tonight" Replied Ash
Jill didn't quite know what to say next, she had so many questions, she still didn't know what to do Ash seemed so distant, but she didn't want to push her any harder than she seemed to be pushing herself.
Ash could tell Jill needed to know more, than she had told her, but she was scared to let them in, because what if they thought she was over reacting or even worse weak, but she also knew that she could not carry on like this
"Mum, you promise, you won't" started Ash, before she broke off
"I, won't want" asked Jill
"Think, bad about it" said Ash
"Of course, not" replied Jill, knowing it meant me
Ash, was still pretty nervous, so she took a deep breath and started
"Okay, so it starts, I'm at the bottom of the stairs, trying to pluck up the courage to go up" started Ash
Jill, shifted her weight, slightly, Ash scooted across so Jill could sit next to her, which Jill did, putting an arm around her
"Then, it jumped to me helping you and the man, and wishing you would wake up and be okay" continued Ash
"Ohh, sweetheart" said Jill, starting to get upset
"Do, you want me to stop" asked Ash, she hated seeing her mum upset
"No, I want you to tell me as much as you need to" replied Jill
"Okay, then it jumped again, I'm picking up the bags, I turn around there's a loud bang, and I'm blocked in, there's a beam blocking the doorway" said Ash, starting to cry
"Is that when you screamed" asked Jill
"I, didn't" replied Ash, not realising that she had
"Yes, you did, that's why Dad and I woke up" replied Jill
"It, must have been, sorry, I didn't mean to" replied Ash, starting to blame herself
"Hey, we know you didn't mean any of this, it is not your fault" replied Jill
"But, I woke you up, and you've got that important meeting tomorrow" replied Ash
"Trust me, we've had less sleep than this, and have been woken up for worse things" replied Jill, trying to put Ash's feeling to rest
"So, was that the part you have had before" asked Jill, hoping it was otherwise that meant she had held her breath before, and how long would she had held it for if they hadn't have woken her up
"No, not all of it" replied Ash, truthfully
Jill closed her eyes, and thought please God, let me have miss heard her
"Mum, are you okay" asked Ash
"Yes, I'm fine sweetheart" Lied Jill
"Are, you sure, do you want me to get dad" asked Ash, clearly worried
"No, I'm fine really, sweetheart" replied Jill, gently rubbing Ash's arm
They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to upset the other, by either asking the wrong question or saying the wrong thing
"So, do you want to talk about anything else" asked Jill, trying not to sound forceful, but knowing she couldn't leave until she knew everything
Ash, knew Jill would not be able to rest, until she knew what had happened
"Okay, well there was a loud creak, and before I can do anything, I'm falling and it's dark" replied Ash
Jill, know knew why she was holding her breath, and she also knew talking about it would be helping her, but before she could say anything
"That's it, that's all that happened" said Ash
"Sweetheart, thank you, I know it wasn't easy for you" replied Jill
"It's fine, I just wish I could remember it all, then maybe it would finally be over" replied Ash
"Sweetheart, that is no guarantee" replied Jill, so Ash didn't build all her hopes up
"Thanks' mum, I know it can't have been easy for you to listen to that" replied Ash,
"Don't worry about me, now let's get you back to sleep" replied Jill, looking at the clock that had just flicked to three twenty
"Okay, night mum, love you" replied Ash, snuggling down
Ash thought about asking Jill whether she could go to the construction site, but she thought better of it, she would wait until the morning, maybe they would be in a better mood and more understanding, once they had had time to talk about everything she had just told them
"Night sweetheart, sweet dreams" said Jill getting up and kissing Ash on the forehead
Jill was still worried, that Ash would hold her breath again, but she didn't want to upset Ash by telling her or sticking around, she walked into the hallway and saw Gordon, she knew he wouldn't have been able to stay away that long, he was just as worried as she was, at least it meant that she wouldn't have to explain it all over again, she didn't think she had the strength. They made their way silently to their room. Jill went through to their en suite
Gordon could tell, Jill needed to get something off her chest, so waited patiently
Jill was looking at her reflection in the mirror, trying to collect her thoughts, how could she have done this to her baby girl, she knew she would have to make it up to her, she took a deep breath and went into their bedroom
She could feel Gordon watching her
"No" was all he said, knowing she was blaming herself, as she got into bed and cuddled into him
"But" started Jill
"No, listen to me, it is not your fault, this could have happened to any of them to either of us" replied Gordon
"But, it wasn't, was it, it was me" replied Jill
"Well, what about that time I had Jonathon with me" replied Gordon
"That's different" replied Jill
"How, is it, he got hurt" replied Gordon, Jill went to say something
"He, wouldn't have gotten hurt, if I hadn't had him with me" continued Gordon
"You, can't really compare Jonathon having a couple of grazes and Ash falling through a floor" replied Jill
"I'm not, but what I am saying is, it could have happened to any of them" replied Gordon
"I cannot believe you, think I'm over reacting" replied Jill
"I'm, not saying that, I just think you are being too hard on yourself" started Gordon, but Jill was in no mood to talk about it
"Jill, where are you going" asked Gordon
"I, can't sleep right now, I've got so much going on" replied Jill making her way out, she was just about to go downstairs
"Mum" said Ash, she had heard them talking, she couldn't sleep either, she had all these thoughts flying around
"Yes, sweetheart" replied Jill going back towards Ash's bedroom door
"You, can't sleep either" asked Ash
Jill didn't have to answer, Ash could read her face
"Sorry" said Ash
"Hey, it is not your fault" replied Jill
"We, both know it is" replied Ash
Jill couldn't think what to say to make it better, she knew whatever she said it wouldn't make a difference right now
"I was just going to make a drink; do you want to join me" asked Jill
Ash, thought about it, she knew she definitely, wouldn't sleep now, and she knew she didn't want Jill blaming herself, so she nodded. Jill grabbed Ash's dressing gown and helped her put it on, they then made their way down stairs. Jill set about making the drinks, while Ash sat at the kitchen table
"Is it my fault" started Ash
"No, of course not" replied Jill, Ash knew she would get that answer
"So, what is it then" asked Ash not believing her
Jill didn't get a chance to answer
"If, you need to talk, I'm here, I know it's been easier for me to talk to you because you were there, but I can listen as well" said Ash
Jill started to cry
"Ohh, Mum, I never meant to upset you" said Ash getting up and giving Jill a cuddle
"I'm, sorry" replied Jill, breaking away, she wiped her eyes and then picked up the kettle that had just flicked off
"No, I'm sorry, I've put you through a lot and that I've not made it clear that I don't blame or hate you" replied Ash
"I know you don't, but it doesn't stop me from blaming myself" replied Jill, putting the drinks on the table
"What, can I do to help" asked Ash
"Sweetheart, there really is nothing you can do, it's just something I've got to work through" replied Jill
"Would it help, if I stop talking" asked Ash
"No" replied Jill, but she could tell Ash was still thinking about who she could talk to
"No, really, it helps to know you feel you can talk about it" added Jill
"I'm sorry, for adding the whole auntie thing as well" replied Ash, trying to change the subject
"No, don't be silly, that is not your fault, if that is how you feel, I'm just sorry about how it played out" replied Jill
"Do, you think she will change" asked Ash
"Well, she certainly has a lot to think about" replied Jill, trying to be diplomatic
"Mum" started Ash, pensively
"Yes" replied Jill
"I, know this will sound stupid, but I don't want to be on my own with her" replied Ash
"I, mean I know she would never do anything, but" continued Ash
"Sweetheart, it is not silly, trust me I will make sure you are comfortable with everything" replied Jill
"Thanks mum" replied Ash, Jill could see Ash looked like a weight had been taken off her mind
"Is, there anything else" asked Jill
Ash sat there thinking about it, she took a sip of her drink, she thought now might be as a good as time as any
"Mum, I think I need to go to the site" replied Ash
"No" said Jill straight away
"Please, just give me a chance to explain" replied Ash
"No, no chance" replied Jill
"Please, I think it might help" replied Ash
"Trust, me it won't" replied Jill
"How, do you know" asked Ash
"Because, I've been there, and it won't" replied Jill
"But, there's bits I can't remember no matter how hard I try, I haven't even seen a picture" replied Ash, thinking it couldn't get any worse, but she could read the look on Jill's face
"Sorry, forget I said anything" added Ash
"No, you have to promise you won't go" replied Jill
"Ash, you have to promise me" added Jill, a few minutes later when Ash hadn't responded
"I, can't" replied Ash
"Ash, you trust me, don't you" replied Jill, trying a different tack
"Of, course" replied Ash
"Then trust me, it will do you no good to go there" replied Jill
"Okay, I promise" replied Ash
"Yet" muttered Ash under her breath