A/N Can I just bring one small thing ta your attention? Ya know, when ya get all manner a peevish with me on accounta I ain't posted a new chap since God's dog was a puppy? Well remind yourself a this, we're on chapter 30, that's right kids, 30. Officially making this my longest fiction. Remember way back at chapter one, ya know when I told ya it was a one shot. Ha – what the hell happened kids?! Let's get on with it. Big shout out and much thanks to hossfan for tellin' me a couple news items – we'll talk more 'bout that at the end :)

Hey all y'all! Ah c'mon now, spare me the hate kids, show me the love. I know, I know I been bad, been hidin' out. Well that ain't true either is it? Been writin' all those other stories, leavin' these Dixon's an Diet Dixon lovers wantin'. I know it ain't right, but hell, I ain't right so ya gotta just try n cut me a little slack. C'mon now, we're all friends here. An all y'all know that Diet Dixons, of all my Dixons I write, well these two lovebirds they have my heart. Yep, that's how it is.

So now do I gotta remind y'all what today is? I mean that damn phone ya got, the one that's smarter'n you are, yeah, that one. Don't it have a calendar? Well ya gotta look at the sumbitch then you'd know – IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT! That's right. And what is it we do on Wednesday night?

I see, ya'll are still playin' that game. Do I gotta remind ya that ya don't need me ta visit the Mad Dawg, ya could just get your ass down there your own self. On the other hand, I 'preciate that y'all 'preciate my skills in navigatin' that nasty little joint we all love so much. Ah man boys an girls, it ain't gotten no cleaner since the last time y'all were there, an it don't smell no better either. I can guarantee ya that. An the clientele – yep they ain't classed up none neither. The place is still crawlin' with lowlifes, miscreants, riff raff, rednecks an all manner a morally questionable types. In other words, a fun group ta drink with. I prefer that my drinkin' buddies be even bigger losers than me. There's comfort in it kids, ain't there?

Well anyway, times a wastin' boys n girls, we gotta haul ass down there, belly on up ta that bar, ya know I got my favorite stool, an ya know them damn fine specimens a redneck manhood, the Brothers Dixon, they'll be arrivin' real soon. I got the perfect spot for viewin' 'em an the place is fillin' up fast, get on down with your bad self.

Daryl walked in an well ya woulda been real pleased ta see the look on his face, why? Well he seen his big brother was already at the bar, he had an empty in front of him, a fresh an frosty one ta his lips an he had downed half a that in one swallow. An shit he looked every manner a morose and miserable. A course seein' his brother lookin' so unhappy brought a big smile ta Younger Dixon's dangerously handsome face.

He strutted that fine ass a his right up ta the bar, barkeep, always the consummate professional set a frosty one in front of our boy. He slapped Older Dixon a hard one ta the back an he ask, all concerned-like an all, "What the fuck brother?"

Older Dixon why he just shook his head side ta side, lookin' more pathetically miserable by the second. Now it was gettin' concernin' ta Younger Dixon. So he ask again, "Spill it ya dumbass, what the fuck?" An the joint got real quiet, why ya could hear the proverbial pin drop as every miscreant, lowlife, redneck low key criminal in the place, includin' yours truly a course, took a big ol swallow from our frosty one just ta prepare ourselves for whatever tragic news that was ta come.

And the big ol muscle-bound hunka burnin' hot redneck love spoke, "Cindy had the fuckin' NBC news on the T.V. last night an some asshole newsman he says that bars in this country are closin' down at a record pace."

An there was a collective gasp from the clientele, an we all took ta chuggin' our frosty ones like they very well might be the last frosty ones we ever did have. Yep, there was a panic in the ranks boys an girls our very lifestyle was bein' threatened. What were we ta do, start stayin' home of a night an actin' like responsible adults? Oh dear lord save us from that fate.

Sumthin' happened then, sumthin' I never seen, sumthin' that will probably never be seen again, the picture of it will never leave my mind. That's a good thing boys an girls cuz that there it's a damn fine picture. It was right then as we was all contemplatin' this disaster we was facin' that none other than the barkeep and Younger Dixon began ta cackle. And they was loud an they was proud an they was doin' that kinda laughin' where a man can't even draw in a breath, an actual tears of laughter were streamin' down their faces. An ya knows kids laughter it's contagious, why within seconds every lowlife, miscreant redneck loser, yeah all the riff raff was laughin'. The whole joint was splittin' a seam and only two seemed ta know what they was laughin' about. That would be that Adonis of a man, Daryl Dixon, an the most important man in the place, barkeep.

Yeah everyone was carryin' on except Older Dixon, he was lookin' more pissed off by the second. Finally he could take it no more an he punched Little Brother real hard right in that beautiful arm I was just checkin' out, an kinda droolin' over because really kids, is there a finer arm? Fuck no there ain't. But I digress.

So now a course Younger Dixon he starts ta pushin' on older Dixon an gettin' all manner a in his brother's face, an they was chest bumpin' the two finest chests in the south, an he says, "Ya sure ya wanna start that shit with me dumbass? Cuz I'll give ya some hurt if that's what ya want."

Ah that's all we needed ta hear ta build up a full head of excitement, damn a Dixon Brothers Brawl! What the hell can beat that? Well I can think a one thing, but we ain't here ta discuss my fantasies right now.

Now in the meantime, barkeep, y'all remember barkeep, the professional an all, he had been takin' care a business while he was laughin' his own shapely ass off. He'd gotten every lowlife, miscreant, redneck dirt bag a fresh an frosty one. Oh we was in high gear for the fight.

But barkeep, I don't know what come over the man, but he spoiled the fun. He risked life an limb, he went right up ta the brothers n he said, "Next beer's on me if ya calm your asses the fuck down. We're all here ta have us a good time." Generally speakin' I hate the voice a reason, an this time was no exception.

An that's when Older Dixon said, "I can't abide no man laughin' at me."

An Younger Dixon replied, "Well ya dumbass if you'da listened ta the story with both ears you'da known they's talkin' bout them high end fancy bars, not the fuckin' Mad Dawg Tavern." An damn if both them Brothers an Barkeep didn't start cacklin' then. Cuz ya know what kids? Yep all three of 'em are dumbasses.

We all celebrated the fact that the Mad Dawg Tavern would not be shuttin' down by gulpin' down our frosty ones.

xxxxxxx

He walked in the front door an didn't little ol D.J. just run right on over an hug his Daddy's leg n say, "Hi Daddy." An didn't our man pick the boy right up in his arms, rub his little head an say, "Hey little man Daddy missed ya today. Ya gonna play some trucks with me after supper?" An little man he smiled an nodded that cute little head. He's just the best little boy on the fuckin' planet is all.

He did that kinda swaggerin' Daryl Dixon glide into the kitchen an there was his Sweet Baby, standin' there at the stove cookin' him up sumthin' real delicious for his dinner. He come right up behind her an he slid that open palm, real slow like, up the inside a her leg an he didn't stop 'til he got ta that sweet center, an give it a gentle little squeeze an then he went ta rubbin' on it just ta let her know how much he loves an appreciates her. A man's gotta let his woman know these things, it's important for a happy home. An he moved his mouth on down ta that sweet curve a her neck an he was kissin' on it, an lickin' on it. An suckin' just a bit an he whispered, "I sure did miss ya today Sweet Baby, I've had me a semi all day just from ya bein' on my mind."

An didn't his Sweet Baby turn right around in his arms n he was smilin' down at her an she was smilin' back up at him an she slid her hand right down the front a his pants, ya know down there in the nether regions, just ta verify what he'd told her about the semi an all. An damn, it was the truth, cuz ya know Big Man he's honest 'bout these important things.

An they commenced ta kissin' on each other an rubbin' on each other n gettin' all manner a hot n bothered n ready ta say, "who needs dinner?" When in toddled little old D.J. "I'n hungy Mama." Ah shit, they had ta quit forgettin' themselves now that the boy was gettin' older an all. They was gonna try an start doin' that real soon now.

They was sittin' at the table an Daryl an D.J. was enjoyin' big ol bowlfuls a that delicious venison stew, an some a them light n airy biscuits Sweet Baby had cooked up. Now a course she was munchin' on a big ol bowl a leaves. Daryl he says ta D.J., "Ain't we a couple a lucky boys ta have your beautiful Mama cookin' us up such fine supper?" He tousled the boys hair an said, "Now ya tell Mama thank ya."

"Tank ya Mama."

"That's a good man D.J., it's our job ta keep Mama happy."

He an D.J. was playin' with the trucks n watchin' Deadliest Catch on the T.V. Sweet Baby she was in the kitchen cleanin' up an talkin' ta her Mama on the phone. It wasn't too long 'til she come in the livin' room n said, "C'mon D.J., c'mon Daddy, time for your bath."

Now a course D.J. he jumped right up an went ta his Mama smilin', Daryl wasn't sure what was the matter with the boy, the way he liked a bath was worrisome.

He tried ta get outta his shower time, "I don't think I need one today Sweet Baby, I had me one just yesterday n I didn't hardly sweat at all today. We got A/C at work n everythin'."

She just smiled that big pretty smile at him an said, "Now Big Man if you're going to be showing me how much you love me later don't you want to smell nice for me."

What the fuck could a guy do but get his ass in the shower? Shit man ya just got to. He made it fast too cuz ya know, story time was comin' an all.

D.J. picked out the Cat in the Hat, which Daryl liked well enough n all like that, he just thought it'd probably be better if a guy was smokin' sumthin' funny. Anyway didn't matter, little ol' D.J. only made it through about half a that n he was out for the count.

That's when Big Man stood right up, swooped Sweet Baby right up in his arms and carried her sweet ass right ta the bedroom. He had those tighter'n hell yoga pants and that little bitty tank top offa her faster'n you can say, "Yoga? Ah hell no."

He removed his own sleep pants so fast he broke the land speed record. An he was on her like a kitten ta milk an they was bouncin' around on that bed, an he was on top a her an she was on top a him an they was just a nibblin', an a suckin', an a lickin', an a pokin' here n proddin' there n just generally conductin' a full anatomical investigation a one another. It was educational an all. Every day's a school day kids.

Right there in the midst of the educational process why didn't Big Man just start glidin' hisself down there toward her southern hemisphere. Ya know he was a lickin' an a kissin' an suckin' here an there just real sweet like, an when his mouth got close ta it's destination didn't he lift that handsome face up toward her n utter them words, "Ya know what would be a real good idea Sweet Baby?"

Now Sweet Baby she couldn't help but ta giggle, "No Big Man why don't you tell me, what would be a real good idea?"

"Well Axel seen on the internet where a fella can rent him a big ol inflatable Irish Pub, ya know for havin' a big ass party. Why I thought we'd get us one an set it up out by the pool, have everywhere over for a little doin's. Please Sweet Baby." An he give that spot we was talkin' about earlier a real nice kiss.

An Sweet Baby she was gigglin' all soft like an she said, "If that's what you want Big Man then that's what we'll do. Now finish what you started down there."

That really fired up the Big Man an he went ta work provin' ta Sweet Baby that he knows she's the best damn woman that ever walked the planet. An he made her feel it. Then they got busy with all manner a other bedroom shenanigans, why they was havin' a week's worth a good times on Wednesday evenin'.

Why they was so damn rambunctious they tumbled right offa that bed n as Big Man was grabbin' Sweet Baby ta keep her from gettin' hurt, well accidents happen boys n girls an that lamp mighta went a'flyin' off that night table. But who needs a lamp when you're in the throes a some serious aerobics?

After Big Man give Sweet Baby a couple more turns at Nirvana, well the man could hold out no longer, an they was somewhere on the other side a the bedroom, an he said, "I got ta have ya Sweet Baby." An so he did an didn't they just reach Nirvana together. It's a beautiful thing kids.

An they was a little bruised, an a little battered, but they was a happy pair. He was holdin' his Sweet Baby in his arms, her pretty blond head on his chest an he kissed that pretty head an he told her such, "I love ya Sweet Baby." An she told him right back, "I love you too Big Man." An they had em some sweet dreams.

Two Saturday's later Mama an Daddy showed up early to get the Little Man to spend the night at the farm with 'em. It's hard ta say who was more excited, D.J. or Grandpa cuz they was both anticipatin' the big bowls a vanilla ice cream Grandma was gonna be givin' 'em later.

Then Merle n Cindy arrived, an the fellas showed up with the inflatable Irish Pub an they set it up out there by the pool. A wave of excitement went through the Dixon family as they were beholdin' the sight of Dixon's Irish Pub. I swear Merle was rubbin' his hands together.

They got ta settin' up the party, Merle an Daryl was a course loadin' that pub up with the kegs they had ordered, one a Guiness an one a Smithwick's, cuz ya know, they was bein' authentic n whatnot. They knew no man would show up without contributin' ta the booze kitty, so yeah, they wasn't worried about runnin' out before they was all dead drunk.

Now Sweet Baby, she had made a half ton a corned beef, she had it all sliced up on platters an whatnot, with all the trimmin's so's everyone could make themselves up a lovely sandwich. A course no party would be complete without Sweet Baby's tater salad. Cindy she was a big help an she herself had brung her famous pea salad. An they knew, no self-respectin' woman would show up at the party without food ta share. They was all high class southern born n bred ya know.

Ah kids an the whole gang showed. How could ya not? For gawd sake an Irish Pub at Little Boss' magnificent pool. Fuck get there if ya had ta walk.

Now Oscar an Ruby they was the first ta arrive, Oscar had a case a Beamish Irish Stout an a industrial size bottle a Jameson. Whilst Ruby had made a beautiful Lemon Chiffon Pie. They was followed right behind by Axel with a case a Murphy's Irish Stout an a humongous bottle a Tullamore Dew, an Doc Carol with a big ol' bowl a sweet slaw.

Right behind them was big ol' Tyrese an itty bitty Prudence. Tyrese had a case a O'Hara's Celtic Stout an a supersized bottle a Bushmill's, while little Prudence was carrying a real nice dish a banana cream puddin'.

An it went on like that kids, Abraham an Sasha, Rosita an Spencer, they seemed ta have gotten some kind a peace agreement signed between 'em. Big Boss an Big Boss wife, Health an Giselle, I'm tellin' ya kids, if ya can think of 'em they was there.

An like I said, all them good ol' boys brung booze, an all them good southern women brought food. An y'all are gonna smile when I tell ya, Sweet Baby had bought a case a Cheetos so Big Man would be her happy man. She's real sweet like that, ain't she?

Now I know I ain't gotta tell ya Sweet Baby was lookin' white hot in a white two piece suit an Big Man was thinkin' he'd like ta peel that suit right offa her, but he settled for just slippin' a hand down the back there, givin' that lower cheek a real lovin' squeeze an all. Sweet Baby didn't seem ta mind the intrusion one bit, she was known ta do a little mischievous rubbin' her own self.

The pool was fillin' up fast an there was more wayward hands up bikini tops an down bikini bottoms than I have time ta mention. Let's just say it didn't matter that Ruby didn't know how ta swim on accounta Oscar had a good hold on both her northern an southern regions.

An ya know kids, the oddest a the odd couples, Axel an Doc Carol, well those two was actin' like a pair a randy teenagers. I say, I'll drink ta that.

An we was well into the party, about three or four hours in, so ya know there had been plenty a booze consumed, it was goin' down real easy like, an the Irish music was comin' through the speakers loud n clear, the foods were bein' enjoyed an didn't seem ta be soberin' anyone up at all, an that's when it happened.

One whole side a the inflatable Irish Pub had caved right in an everyone rushed around ta the side there ta see just what in tarnation coulda happened, an damn kids, what they saw, well several of our boys, bein' pretty drunked up an all, could not maintain even an ounce a composure. The women was feelin' the same problem, although they was also feelin' a little bit bad for Rosita bein' caught, quite literally, with her pants down. An big ol' Abe also had his pants down, an it was clear ta see, that what had been in his pants was now well, you know where it was, somewhere in Rosita's nether regions.

The situation was ripe for volatility, as you can very well imagine. Sasha was not a happy woman, nor was Spencer a happy man. Now there was money changin' hands among the other boys, cuz ya know there'd been plenty a bets placed on just how long that ember that still burned between Abe an Rosita would stay tamped down. It appears to have heated right back up at the Irish Pub Pool Party an Redneck Soiree.

Sweet Baby, bein' a real fine hostess an all, she threw a towel around Rosita, not that everyone hadn't already seen the goods, but ya know, decorum an whatnot like that. An Abe he pulled them board shorts up real quick. A course now we all knew for sure he was a natural redhead.

Sasha, right there in front a everyone, didn't she just grab right a hold a Spencer, somewhere quite personal mind ya, an she told the wide-eyed fella, "Let's you n me go seek some payback." Spencer seemed ta think that was just the cure needed an they was oughta there in a hot hurry ta pursue that payback bliss elsewhere.

Daryl, an Oscar, an Merle managed ta get the Irish Pub upright again, an the party was back on. Ya guessed it kids, Abe was in the pool with Rosita ridin' on his shoulders an sippin' a lovely beverage. For today at least, she fancied herself the winner.

An the big man he had Sweet Baby over in a dark corner a that Pub an they was doin' a little feelin' around on each other, just ta make sure all their parts were intact an whatnot like that, an they was remarkin' ta each other that they was a truly lovin' couple an no other man an no other woman would ever come between them.

And damn if they weren't the cause a that Irish Pub goin' down again!

A/N There it is, such as it is. I hope ya had a little bit a fun at the Mad Dawg, the cabin, an at Pool Party. A big shout out to FF friend hossfan. She sent me the tragic news story about the bars closing down and said I might write about how that would affect our boys. Then she told me later in a second PM the magnificent news that it is indeed possible to rent yourself an inflatable Irish Pub. We're livin' in magical times kids. Thanks for spending some time with me an the boys, I'd appreciate hearing your comments and reviews. x gneebee

There's a photo of our beautiful Dixon couple on my tumblr blog bethylmethbrick, please check it out, and please don't be shy about checking out some of my other, somewhat more serious Bethyl stories here on FF. See all ya miscreants next time at the Mad Dawg for a frosty one. Love all ya'll, xo gneebee