Dallas, Texas

Pulling the sheets back and helping John Ross into bed, Sue Ellen engaged her son in a conversation they had almost daily.

"Are you going to be a good boy for mama and sleep now?"

"No."

Unsurprised by his answer, knowing that sometimes he napped and other times he spent a quiet hour alone talking to himself or his toys, she went along with his response.

"No?"

"Mama play with me."

Often interested in playing with her when the choice was between that and bed, she knew he still needed the time to rest, which was why she didn't give in. A tired John Ross was a grumpy John Ross and a grumpy John Ross wasn't much fun for anyone.

"We'll play later sweetheart. It's nap time now."

Looking like he was thinking, John Ross' next response was typical of him, his love of animals coming from her and his Ewing family, just not JR directly.

"We ride horsey?"

"Not today, I can't go near the horses while the baby is in my tummy."

Simplifying the issue, it wasn't that she couldn't but that she was choosing not to attend the stables while pregnant. It wasn't something that would last forever but that wasn't clear to her son whose little face sank and who began to sniffle upon hearing the news.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

She had a good idea about what was wrong but she knew it was a good idea to let him speak his feelings.

"Baby… no... horsey."

Breathing heavily, as if he had been crying, which he hadn't yet, his heartbreak was understandable. In his world there were things he did and they rarely had limits and being told no was a shock.

"John Ross, I'm not saying no forever, just for now. There will be other opportunities to see the horses, we can ask Lucy or Charlie or Jenna or uncle Bobby, I'm sure they'd be happy to take you."

If he wanted to go to the stables then he could, in fact he could even do it later in the afternoon if the girls felt like taking him after they came home from school. What she couldn't do was personally promise to bring him to see the horses, she'd made a promise to herself months ago that she wouldn't put John Ross' little brother or sister in any preventable danger and she intended to keep that promise.

"No! Mama, horsey!" shaking his head, his tiredness presented itself as stubbornness, her suggestions not good enough for him.

"I'm sorry John Ross, mama is being careful for the baby."

Leaning forward to hug him, to comfort him as his distress escalated, she recoiled in shock when he threw his arms up and pushed her away, hitting her right in her protruding abdomen.

"No baby!"

"John Ross, that's not nice!"

Raising her voice, her tone a mixture of surprise, anger, and concern, none of that was evident to her son, who promptly burst into tears.

Immediately feeling guilty, not having meant to upset him further than he already was, she didn't hesitate before changing position to kneel on the floor so only the upper half of her body was accessible to him. Brushing her hand over his hair, she slowly leaned in and hugged him, not an easy task while he was crying.

"It's going to be ok, mama loves you very much, and we're going to have fun together later, but first you need to nap."

At twenty-six weeks pregnant, with a son who was not yet three and who was overdue for a nap, emotions were heightened, she understood that and she didn't want to make it any worse than it already was, so she didn't dwell on the behaviour. Now wasn't the time for a lesson in being kind and gentle, now was the time for slowing his breathing, stopping his crying and drifting off to sleep.

Staying with him until he calmed down, she quietly stood up and walked across the room, staying in his line of sight as he occasionally droopily opened his eyes to look around, before finally she opened the door and slipped out into the hallway.

Still for a few moments, she gathered her thoughts and emotions. John Ross was old enough to talk to, she could tell him something and he'd understand her, replying back most of the time too, but his life experience was limited and there were some things he couldn't yet grasp. She didn't believe he genuinely disliked the baby, he probably didn't even really know what a baby was, not beyond the pages of the books she'd bought to help explain it to him. To John Ross the baby was an imaginary creature, one that they spoke about coming to join their family, to play with him some day, something he had to be gentle with and who prevented her from taking him to see the horses. The baby was ruining all of the fun things he'd previously done and he didn't like it.

There was a chance he truly wouldn't like his new brother or sister, that they wouldn't be the best friends she and JR wanted them to be, she knew that, she and JR had both lived it, but they were going to do everything they could to encourage a good relationship.

Gathering her energy, she then walked the few yards to her and JR's bedroom, laying down herself. Sleeping becoming more difficult as she got bigger, getting comfortable a challenge, feeling tired enough at night not easy, and regularly needing JR to bring her to the height of her delight before she could completely relax, none of that was necessary at present, her eyes closing not long after her head hit the pillow.

Vivid dreams of her family, past, present, and future, she felt wonderful and rested by the time she opened her eyes, and grateful for the life she had when she realised she had been sleeping uninterrupted for hours, something being Mrs Ewing afforded her.

To be continued…