A/N: Whoa, look who's actually trying to update something! Amazing! Bravo! Claps viciously.

College has had me in a vice grip but maybe I have some ideas for Dat Boi Kida. I love him. Per Ironiam Fatum and Tabula Rasa are probably gonna be updated next, followed by the Improbable Truth.

"For the first forty days a child

is given dreams of previous lives. Journeys, winding paths,

a hundred small lessons

and then the past is erased."

― Michael Ondaatje, Handwriting from /quotes/tag/reincarnation

Chapter 5 Golden Shadows

He is dreaming.

He knows he is dreaming, yet it feels so utterly, unthinkably, real.

The feeling of the wind blowing through his hair feels as real as it does rushing through his skin, caressing itself tightly against his hands and his legs. The feel of the grass whipping around his ankles as he runs-inevitably, he is small. He is always a small one in these dreams, and there is someone else, isn't there? Someone who is his sun, someone who means everything to him-someone who means the world to him.

If he looks behind him, he notices-that there is no one there, and he stops, his little feet coming to a sudden halt, feeling the wet grass clinging to his socks. He turns, it is as though he feels someone watching him. When isn't he being watched in these odd dreams, anyway? It feels like millions of eyes are watching his very movement, judging his existence, feeling out whether he is good or not, whether he deserves to live or exist.

Yes, it is a very familiar and very irksome feeling.

Golden eyes flit around, searching, searching for anyone at all-because the last thing he wants is to be totally, totally alone-or else a blade will come out and stab through his chest and pain, pain, pain, oh gosh so much pain...dying on the ground in agony, in pain and so much misery, so much stuff left to do...Al, Winry, Mustang...

He shakes his head, following the shadow his eyes just saw, following it to...a black, charred remnant of what used to be a house. If ever it was one, as it was withered and worn away by age, sinking back into the ground where it came from like it was in quicksand.

He walked over to it and picked up a piece of it, eying it in his fingers, carefully. Masaomi's eyes flickered over to an odd sight indeed, a piece of armor, lying on the ground, juxtaposed in an awkward angle near the charred pieces of structure that obviously once formed a house, once formed a dream.

"How did it get like this?" He asked himself.

Kida turns, and sees a doll, lying on the ground, partially worn away from age. It crumbles to pieces as soon as he holds it in his arms. An image of a little girl flits into his mind, one with blue eyes, someone you can never forget, someone special to him, but he doesn't know why, he's never really thought about it.

Yet it feels like he should know who this girl is.

He turns, feeling a hand grab his, in time to see a boy with gray eyes staring at him impatiently. "Brother, why are you just standing there?"

Kida looks at him quizzically. "What do you mean?" He asked in confusion.

The boy nudged him, seeming more and more impatient by the second. "Come on, brother, you promised me you were going to show me alchemy!"

"I'm not your brother, kid, now please leave me alone," Masaomi snapped, feeling rising irritation come over him.

"But Brother-"

For just a second, he feels like he should give in, but before he could even say anything, the scene warped into...a scene with a little girl and her dog.

"Wanna play?" It asks, in an eerie, unnatural tone.

Masaomi instinctively jumps backward, as any normal person would upon hearing a beast talk. "What the hell?"

"You don't remember me. I'm hurt, big brother..."

He feels like he should know this person, but Kida has always been scared of dogs, so he just sits there, shaking. "No...please, go away."

"You must remember, big brother."

"Please, just leave me alone."

"Big Brother..."

"I SAID, TO LEAVE ME ALONE!" He snapped and ran and ran, until he found himself staring into a person's eyes.

"So, once wasn't enough, eh, Full Metal? Let's finish the job." And then suddenly, he can't breathe. It feels like he's being strangled, suffocated. He's lifted up into the air, struggling wildly, fighting for breath.

Then everything fades to black, and he is awake, tossing his covers aside and sweating slightly. "What the fuck was that about? Who were those people?" He asked himself.

The Shogun got out of bed and paced back and forth. "That made no sense."

'Your memories of another life are coming back. You cannot hope to deny it forever.'

"Shut up," Masaomi whispered. "Reincarnation is impossible, absurd! It just doesn't happen."

'Cynical attitude, short, I like that. Why do you like milk, though, and not throw a fit about being short?'

"Because it doesn't really matter and I like milk. Why am I talking to myself, anyway?" Kida muttered in annoyance, swinging his legs back and forth as he flipped open his phone and typed in Izaya's number before he answers.

"Hello, Masaomi-kun."

As much as he hates turning to that bastard for help, he has no choice.

"Izaya, do you know about...reincarnation?"

The sound of something falling to the ground can be heard before Izaya quickly answers, sounding shaken all of a sudden. "That's nonsense, Masaomi-kun. Nothing but hyperbole and exaggerations done for money."

"Then explain my sudden, bizarre dreams for the past couple weeks!" He snaps.

"Dreams are weird, Masaomi-kun." Izaya says patiently. "If you're having a mental breakdown, I'm not transferring you to a hospital."

He slams the phone shut and throws himself onto his bed. "Fuck him. Why won't he help me?"

Ed wasn't expecting to live again, he thought as he watched his other self sulking. This life was different from his old. Sure, he had dead parents again, a rude attitude and a boss he hated, but this version of him got into fights, wasn't real booksmart, was in a gang (and a leader, for god's sake), liked the color yellow, and drank milk and liked it.

Ed could overlook almost all of that except for the gang leader part...but the drinking milk and liking it? Really? How could his reincarnated self even like that? Had he been brainwashed by some secret cult into doing so?

No, he had to conclude, Kida Masaomi was just a very stubborn, very skeptical and very much typical teenager.

He watched the kid wince upon walking by a person who had a dog on a leash and sighed. Some of his experiences had been passed on through subliminal fears. Though Kida didn't remember Nina at all, the subconscious emotions and feelings only translated over to him as "fear" and dogs "bad".

'Why do you hate dogs so much?' His other self asked.

"Shut up," Kida growled, slamming his fist against the wall.

"Yo, kid, you okay?"

Kida whirled around in time to see Shizuo standing there, looking concerned.

"I'm just fine." He replied.

"You don't look it." Shizuo remarked. "Take care of yourself."

Kida raised a brow. "Do I know him from somewhere?" He asked.

'You do. Even if you don't remember him. He looked after you once before, he'll look after you again. He was a strong dude.'

"I don't get it." He muttered, scratching his head.

He collapsed beside Saki in a chair.

"Nothing makes sense anymore."

"What's the point of stuff making sense, Masaomi?" Saki asked. She always managed to cheer him up and make things better.

"I'm just so tired, Saki. So, so tired." He moaned, putting his head in his hands while she stroked his hair gently, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulders.

"Rest, Masaomi. You need it, you're insomniac. I know you were up on your phone all night." She teases.

"Was not," He grumbles before he finally passes out.

"He's still just a kid and he acts like an adult." She muttered with a laugh.

Why did that remind her of someone?

Looking at his face now, his sleeping, peaceful face, he reminds her of a child.

It hits her then, how childish he actually is.

How much he carries on his shoulders and how much he acts like someone twice his age.

"Allow yourself to be a teenager." She whispers.