Chapter 10

Edward during the day is amazing. Edward at night is captivating. But Edward in the morning? My God, he's a masterpiece.

I sigh.

He's still asleep, laying next to me as the sun shines through my window and onto his hair. Dashes of gold and bronze weave together in a beautiful mess. I reach out and brush my fingers through it.

I heard Momma leave about a half hour ago for her pilates class, which means she'll be gone for at least another couple of hours. Pilates Class usually means the actual class plus brunch after with her group. The bottomless mimosas will keep her occupied for awhile, but I still want to be careful. Edward can't be anywhere near here when she gets back or all Hell will break loose. I can just imagine the look on her face walking in here and finding her daughter in bed with...

"Stop it," Edward murmurs, his eyes barely open.

"What?"

"Whatever it is you're overthinking. Just...be here with me." He rests his arm over my waist and pulls me close.

"What are we going to do?" I say, trying my best to ignore the what ifs and the whens, but I can't.

"About what?"

"Seriously?" I pull back. "About this, about us?"

"Why do we have to have a plan? Aren't you sick of your life being planned out for you?"

"I mean…" I think for a few moments. The unknown is such a foreign feeling to me. It should scare me. And it does a little. But if that unknown involves him in any way, whatever it is, I want it. "Yes. I'm sick of it."

He leans over and kisses me, rolling forward and on top of me as I sink down into the bed. "Pretty scandalous to have a boy stay over behind your mom's back, Swan."

"First time for everything." I laugh nervously.

"First time? Wow, I'm honored."

"Lots of firsts." I nod.

"Who was your first crush?" He asks, hovering over me.

"Tyler Crowley in second grade. We sat together on the bus." I smile. "What about you?"

"Tanya Denali. I moved away when we were about nine."

"Broke her heart, I'm sure."

"Oh, she was devastated." He glances at my lips and kisses me again, longer and softer. "First kiss?"

I freeze and he notices.

"What?" He pushes himself up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." I grimace.

We stare at each other for a few moments until it hits him.

"Fucking Mike Newton. Wasn't it?"

My non-answer answers his question. "Sorry."

"It's you I feel sorry for that your first kiss will always be with that piece of…"

"Make me forget."

The next time he kisses me, I imagine it as not just my first kiss, but the first kiss in history in all its perfection. Urgent, but soft. Deep enough to set my heart and my stomach and my everywhere fluttering. When Edward kisses me, I can't imagine anything or anyone before this.

I picture his lips fluttering past my own, and down to my neck. I picture his hands strong on my breasts and his hips flush against mine. And like the mind reader he is, he follows instructions very well.

Make me forget. Make me.

He answers again, fervently reaching for the hem of my shirt. "Is this okay?"

I sit up and pull my own shirt up over my head, tossing it to the side of my bed.

He smirks and dips to my navel, swirling his tongue across my skin as he travels north. My body erupts in goosebumps as his lips reach my breast. This feels different than anything before. I don't feel like a piece of meat. I don't feel man-handled. I feel...loved. And wanted.

I bite my lip and lean my head back, closing my eyes. "Fuck," I moan.

He returns to my lips and our hands lock. I guide them down, past my chest, past my stomach, down to the waistband of my sweatpants, and dip inside. I leave his there, pushing my hips into his palm, asking him to touch me like I want to be touched.

He's light at first, circling softly on the fabric of my underwear.

His breath is on my cheek, his hair falls forward and tickles my skin.

I feel lightheaded and drunk, in the best way. A fuzziness and a clarity all at the same time.

When he finally slides his fingers inside me, he groans, deep from the pit of his chest.

I arch my back, throwing my head back into the pillow.

"You like that?" He asks.

"Yes," I say, breathless and begging. "Don't stop…"

I come hard, my body goes stiff and feels like jelly at the same time. No one before Edward even exists, and I forget everything but his name and the feeling of him touching me, kissing me, loving me.

"You're amazing," he says, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"You're not so bad yourself," I joke, out of breath and grinning like a fool.

I hear the front door close downstairs and my heart stops. It's too early. She shouldn't be home yet.

"Shit." I shoot up and scramble out of bed. "You have to go."

Footsteps on the stairs.

He jumps out of bed.

Twist of the doorknob.

He drops to the floor.

"Oh! Miss Isabella!" Our housekeeper, Kaure, is surprised to see me when she opens the door. "I'm so sorry. I thought your mother said you had pilates this morning."

"It's okay, it's okay," I stutter, glancing toward the other side of the bed, knowing he's still there. "Give me an hour, okay?"

"Okay." She smiles. "Have a good day." She nods and closes the door behind her.

I count to five and then go to find him. He's laying flat on his back, scrunched up as close to the bed as possible.

"It's just our housekeeper."

"Yeah, got that. Just waiting for my heart to stop pounding." He takes a deep breath.

I smile and bend down, placing my knees on either side of him to straddle his waist.

"That doesn't help," he says.

"Does my Mom...scare you?" I joke.

"Not in the slightest."

"Is that so?" I laugh. I lean down and kiss him. "Well, I still think it's probably a good idea to get out of here so she doesn't see you."

We scramble to our feet and he grabs his jacket. "Oh. Ben wanted me to ask you if you would come to his game tomorrow."

"He did?" I smile. "What time?"

"Starts at 2. It's only fifteen minutes from here."

"Count me in." I slowly open my bedroom door and peek outside. "Coast is clear, I hear her singing in the bathroom."

"Pick you up at your dad's at 1:30?"

"Sounds like a plan." I kiss him and he quietly heads down stairs and out the door.

I get dressed and spend the next couple of hours finishing some homework. Momma comes home buzzed and talkative.

"What'd you get?" She asks.

"What?"

"Shopping. What did you get?"

Oh, right. My alibi. I went shopping. "I didn't find anything." I smile sadly and shrug.

"Miss Isabella?" Kaure steps into the kitchen. "I found these peas in your room?" She holds up the now thawed bag of peas.

"Peas?" Momma asks. "What on Earth were you doing with peas?"

"Oh, I...twisted my ankle a little bit last night, just wanted to ice it to be safe."

"Good thinking." She grabs a glass of water and heads upstairs. "I'm going to take a shower, then let's practice your talent routine." She glances at me again. "Did you go out with your hair and makeup like that?"

I don't answer. I just cower in my seat. Bedhead and no makeup doesn't fit her standards.

"It's very unbecoming, Isabella. Remember there are judges that live all over town, you could see them at any moment. Do you think they want a Miss Americana looking like this?"

I hold back tears, trying to understand how two different people can change your world in two completely different ways. Edward lifts me up, makes me brave, makes me feel like I'm perfect just the way I am. Momma breaks me down, makes me feel like I will never, ever be perfect enough.

"Okay, Momma." I err on the side of caution. "Momma, I'm going to spend the day with Dad tomorrow."

"If you insist," she calls. I hear the bathroom door shut and the shower turn on. Then, I let myself cry in the kitchen, by myself, wishing more than anything Edward, my own personal sunshine, was here again.