AN: no internet or cable for a week+, fml, but thanks for hanging in there everyone!
x-x-x-x
No One's POV
"CALEB!"
The heat from the fire made it sound like glass bombs were going off, the wooden beams supporting the ceiling groaned and Ali ran with wobbly legs straight into the dark clouds of smoke billowing from the unseen window and into the otherwise perfectly blue sky.
"Ali no!" Mona coughed from the floor, reaching her hand out to stop the blonde.
Alison's eyes burned, any vision lost to the blurry fuzziness from her tears coated eyes.
She reached forward until she was able to feel the wall, crouching low and letting her hands guide her towards the opening where the heat was close to unbearable.
"Caleb," she tried.
Ali found the window and stuck her hand in, "Caleb, grab my hand!"
She waited, not chancing her life to go back inside, "Caleb! Caleb, please!"
Alison was in pure panic now, one more call from risking it all to go in.
Her chest was heaving, pressed into the dirt and gravel and dead grass below her.
Then she felt small hands grab at her shoulders, but they were pulling her away from the building fire, away from Caleb.
"Ali, c'mon, get out of there!" Mona was pleading, using her body weight to try and pull Ali from inhaling any more smoke.
"No, let go Mona."
Alison's hand was still outstretched, "CALEB take my hand!"
"ALI, let's go!"
Alison was willing to let Mona pull her away until she felt a hand, grab hers and pull. Her eyes lit up and she grabbed at Mona's hand on her shoulder with her free hand, "Mona, help me, it's Caleb, help me!"
It took a moment for Alison's words to register before she got closer to the window and along with Alison's hand she found one of her own and pulled. The girls placed the bottoms of their feet against the outside of the window against the wall and straightened them, pulling the body from the window.
Straining every muscle they could while it was still so difficult to breathe, the girls pulled until Caleb's body slumped, his back against the ground, breathing low and labored.
Mona and Alison stood, grabbing Caleb's limp hands and dragging him to a clearing and collapsing next to him.
"Ali, is he-,"
"He's gonna be okay."
Alison propped herself on her elbow and pressed her ear to his chest, "he's still breathing, but barely."
Mona got up and coughed hard, they were dry coughs, each felt like she was swallowing strips of sandpaper, the friction down her throat with each breath to her lungs was painful.
"We've gotta," one more cough, "get," cough again, "him out of here."
Alison looked at the dark soot covering Caleb's face, the ashen clothes and took in the smell of the old burning building that drenched them.
"Then help me get him in my car, it's bigger." Ali reached her hand to Caleb's face and gently patted his cheek, "Caleb, wake up, get up, please, you have to get up."
Caleb's head lulled to the side and he barely uttered a low groan.
Ali tried again just before the sound of sirens was heard. The sound growing in octaves as it approached.
"Caleb, if you want to save Hanna, I suggest you get your ass up right now." Mona growled in a rough smoke inhaled voice.
Ali understood the urgency and hit Caleb's face a little harder, shaking him by the shoulders until he choked on the air forced into his lungs and started to groan.
"Caleb," Ali rushed, "get up, we have to go."
His eyes fluttered open, squinting at what he didn't know and protective tears spilled from the corners. But he was awake and he knew part of what was going on so he tried to get up, relying heavily on Ali and Mona to get him to his feet.
The sirens blared in the background and Alison moved quicker, Caleb's feet dragging more than he was able to take his own steps.
They reached the car in what seemed like forever and Mona helped Ali move Caleb into the backseat. He was coughing terribly and his breaths came out more like wheezes than smooth inhalations of clean air.
"Mona, hurry, get to your car, I got it from here." The girls shared a frenzied look before the short black haired girl took off across the street to her own car.
"Caleb," Ali grunted, "you better hold on." Alison slammed the door and got into the driver's seat, bringing the engine to life and stepping on the gas pedal, Mona close on her tail.
It seemed they were in the clear, no flashing lights in their rearview mirrors, no cops hot on their trail. Alison looked behind her at Caleb, who was in and out of consciousness, and she sighed, she didn't know how she would get through this without him. She couldn't imagine saving Hanna if he wasn't there.
Sighing, Alison let up on the gas and was about to tell Mona that they should head back home when her phone buzzed in her pocket.
Her mind told her it was Toby or Ezra checking in or telling her Emily was okay, but her eyes proved her wrong.
Unknown: It's a shame little sis, I didn't mean to hurt you, but you need to stay out of my business. After all, you can only play with fire so long before you get burned.
Alison's jaw clenched and she threw her phone at the floor in front of the passenger seat. She gripped the steering wheel and pulled over hard, slamming her foot down on the brakes, almost causing Mona to rear-end her.
Letting out a blood curdling scream in fear, frustration and anger, Alison slammed the butt of her hands into the steering wheel repeatedly, letting the hot tears burn her more and leave behind streaks on her face.
Mona was quick to get out of her car, looking around on the quiet street they were on before running up to Alison's car, watching as the blonde violently shook from anger and abused her own hands against the wheel. Caleb sat up, startled and stayed quiet to let Ali let it all out.
The blonde ran her hands into her hair and she pulled at the roots, scraping her nails along her scalp until her arms felt weak, her hands falling slack into her lap where she bunched the material of her jeans in her hands so hard she thought she might actually tear them to shreds.
Her loud outburst took a dramatic turn into a silent implosion. The string within that have been straining to hold her together snapped again and she was felt to rest her head against the horn and cry. And just cry, no more words to yell or say. Nothing else to feel expect for the first time, hopeless. Hopeless and alone and scared and frustrated and ready to give up. Every step she took forward, something always dragged her back. The more she wanted, the more got taken away. The happier she realized she could be, the more tragedy and heartbreak came her way.
The pressure was too much and she felt like ever since she woke up in the hospital bed, there had been an anvil sitting on her chest. It was too hard to breathe and she just escaped from a fire for fucks sakes. She just wanted to forget everything, she wished none of it ever happened, she wished she could go back to the way it was.
Alison didn't know how long she was sitting there, but she knew she still didn't want to move when Caleb leaned forward and grabbed her shoulders gently. She didn't dare listen when Mona opened the door and told her to move over. She felt ready to give up, disappear and run from her problems, everyone would be better without her.
"Ali, move over, I'll drive us home."
Alison looked up, her eyes bloodshot, face swollen, and stared at Mona. She actually looked concerned, and what for? Alison made her life hell.
The ex queen bee, nodded, sobbed so her whole chest vibrated and climbed into the passenger, reaching down to grab her phone.
Mona ran to her car, drove it further up the street and into the brush along the road and locked it, she'd come back for it later.
When she got to the car, Caleb was sitting up, rubbing his chest and taking slow painful breaths.
Mona slid in and restarted the engine, not saying a word.
None of them said a word.
x-x-x-x
After they escaped the fire, Ali had driven them 15 minutes out of town until she pulled over. And when Mona took over, she drove them all the way back to Emily's house.
The car was parked, engine killed and still it was quiet. Alison turned the phone over and over in her hands and didn't even notice where they were until Mona cleared her throat.
"Um, Ali, what do you want to do now?"
Ali snapped like an overstretched rubber band and reality stung her when she looked up.
"Why did you take us here?"
Confused, Mona looked between the house and Alison and she struggled for words.
"We failed Mona, I failed...again, now I'll never know how Charles and CeCe and Wren are connected, I'm never going figure this out and I can't take it, don't you get that?! I'm tired of letting everyone down, and you take me here, the worst possible place I can be a failure at. What's wrong with you?!"
"Ali," it was Caleb, reaching from the back seat to squeeze her shoulder gently, "it's okay."
"How?! Please explain to me how Caleb? You nearly- I can't keep letting those around me get hurt, I should've done what I said and do this alone. I've got nothing, I ruined the one chance we had at piecing this shit together, we could've all died and it would've been for nothing, we didn't get anything from there."
"Alone? Alison, since when have you ever been alone in this? It started with you and the girls, and you got through it together, we were all in it...together, and we'll get through this and find Hanna and the others...together."
Alison couldn't believe they were doing any of this for her. They cared for Hanna, for Spencer, for Aria and for Emily's parents, not for her. But because she said she cared too, they were willing to be around her to get them all back.
"Alison," Mona called her attention and reached down between the seats and pulled an old battered and stuffed to the max manila folder out.
"What?"
"Caleb has CeCe's file and I...I have this."
Alison looked over at Mona hesitantly and stared at the folder in her hands, it couldn't have been, why would they keep his records, wouldn't her mom have kept them and burned them all?
"Is that-,"
"It's not the whole biography of one messed up Charles, but I think we might have enough in here."
Alison's eyes lit up at the shred of hope that sat printed over old yellowing pages, with dog-eared corners.
It was another chance, she had to take it.
"Alright, then we'll put together as much as we can."
"Alright," Caleb managed before his chest heaved and he coughed heavily.
Mona looked back at Caleb and looked him over, "are you okay?"
He nodded and shrugged, "my throat hurts like hell, but I'll be okay, I think I just want to shower up and get something to drink."
"You can do that I my place or I can take you back to-,"
"No," Ali interrupted, "I'm sure you can stay here, both of you. Mona, we'll go get your car in the morning, I'm sorry, about earli-,"
But Mona put her hand out, "Alison, it's okay, you don't have to apologize." She pulled the keys from the ignition and handed them over, "I wouldn't mind a sleepover."
Ali nodded, "yeah, I'm sure Emily will be thrilled." However, she didn't actually know how Em would feel. When she, along with Mona and Caleb, got out of the car, she saw an empty truck, silver mid-size and one police vehicle on the other side of the street.
The officer tilted his head and started the car, apparently her arrival signaled his departure.
The other two cars meant Toby and Ezra were here as well...almost the whole gang...almost, but not quite.
Alison felt heavy walking up the steps to Emily's door. Mona and Caleb were at her sides, waiting for her to knock.
The silence grew to be too much for Caleb and when his patience was about to be lost and he reached forward to knock, Alison stopped him at the wrist, "stop, it's alright, I have a key."
It was strange the way she pulled it out of her pocket and slipped it into the lock. Any other scenario, she would be rushing through the doors, but right now, she felt like a failure.
"Ali, I'll knock, it's okay, Emily loves you, you know, regardless of what happens next."
And she wanted to agree yet tell him Em doesn't love her the same but she simply nodded and took a step back.
It was after the second knock that the door was opened and Toby stood with a worried expression on his face. He grabbed Caleb at the shoulder and pulled him in, doing the same to Mona and Ali.
"Jesus, you guys are okay."
"Yeah just peachy, just a fire that we almost didn't escape, no worries."
Toby narrowed his eyes, " look like shit."
"Thanks, nice to see you too."
"Okay, Ali, I can't afford to be patient with you, the department has been breathing down my throat all day hounding me about you and these two."
Alison exchanged looks between the other two accused and faced Toby, "okay, what do you mean? We told you we were going to find out all that we could, Toby, that's where we've been."
"Yeah and did you just so happen to also be in the Radley Records behind Red's Warehouse?"
Alison didn't nod but she knew she didn't have to.
"Dammit, Ali, I can't do my job if you three are going to break the law."
"You're blaming us? Toby, I'm trying to find Spencer, I don't care about the fucking law, especially when those of you that are supposed to be withholding it are doing nothing to help me. You're precious department takes me as a joke and any 'detective' that is supposed to end this all and solve the big mystery has done nothing or is dead! I can't trust anyone in there, except you! So if you can't do you job, do it now and arrest me!"
Toby gritted his teeth, remembering that Emily was in the living room with Ezra, "Alison you know I'm not going to do that, but next time you break and enter, leave the building alone will you?"
"Toby are you blind or as stupid as that badge you wear? Charles set that fire, look at us, you think we purposefully did this? We almost died trying to get some stupid files on CeCe or Charles."
"And?"
"And Caleb almost died, he needs to get cleaned up."
"Ali."
"And we did find them okay? But barely, and if we didn't didn't get there before Charles, he wouldn't taken them and he would've been in charge again, at least this way we know where to start."
"Start with what?"
"How everyone is connected and why he started all of this."
"And where are you supposed to start? Birth?"
"Maybe, or maybe just Radley."
"Radley, I hate that damn place, if I never hear it again, it'll be too soon."
"Everything started at Radley, Toby, we're getting there, we have something now."
Toby sighed and the tension in his shoulders and neck moved down and away until he sighed, "she's in the living room, she hasn't talked much."
Ali looked up towards the living room and swallowed.
"She asked about you, she just wanted to know if you were safe."
Alison nodded and avoided addressing the new awkwardness that was her and Emily, "Mona ditched her car to drive us back, so she and Caleb are going to spend the night, if you want to go home, you can."
Toby shook his head, "do you want me to go?"
Shrugging, Ali answered, "you should go home, sleep in our own bed."
But Toby shook his head softly and lowered his head and voice, "not much of a bed when it's half empty."
Alison felt a pang of guilt, something she thought she's be accustomed to by now, "Toby, we can handle it here, I just meant if you wanted to be home and not here, it might get crowed."
"I know what you meant, it's okay, I'm not offended, but Emily is my friend, I want to stay. Besides, there's not much to go to, my home is 5'8" with long brown hair and a smart mouth, so I'm staying until I get her back."
Ali understood and simply touched Toby's arm before she walked past him and into the entryway, telling Mona and Caleb to give her a second.
Ezra made an excuse to get up from the couch when he seen Ali approach, that left Alison alone with Emily.
"Hey Em," Ali started awkwardly.
"You c-could've c-c-called you know, or texted one of us, we-we were worried si-sick." Emily didn't pull her eyes from the TV and Ali followed her line of sight to see some unrecognizable sitcom playing.
The young blonde sat down next to Emily and focused on just breathing, it was like she was always holding her breath.
"I'm sorry." It was all she could say and she knew it felt insufficient.
"S-st-sto-stop, just stop apologizing."
Ali's brows furrowed in confusion and she wished Emily would just look at her so she could get a sense of what the brunette meant.
"Emily, I don't know what you want me to say, I-,"
"That's j-just just the thing, I-I don't want you to say anything, I want you to s-stop apologizing, stop saying you're sorry like everything that happens i-is is your fault, like this is a-all on you, it's not, can't you see that?" Somewhere mid-confession, Emily had turned to face Alison, her eyes still bright but they seemed tired, and Ali knew somewhere in her's, her blue eyes were losing their light.
She hung her head low and looked to the rug on the floor, reminiscing on all the night she had slept their during sleepovers, she remembered the first sleepover that she laid there, thinking that she was really in love with her best friend, it wasn't a phase or experiment or something she was unsure of, it was the first real time she was confident.
It shocked her when she felt Em's hand cup her cheek and pull her face gently to face her, "Alison, I care about you, more than I can really understand," Ali didn't know it, she barely felt it at all but she was crying, again, something she did nearly every night so that she could somehow fall asleep, "and I don't want to watch you do this to yourself. We all want to find them and none of us are blaming you, so stop acting like- stop waiting- stop waiting for us to turn on you."
Alison bit her lip and pulled her face from Emily's gentle touch, she can't accept that Emily only wanted to be friends but let her touch her like they were more, she wouldn't be able to control herself.
The blonde contemplated what to say next, deep down, somewhere repressed inside her she knew that Emily was right, but that confirmation never surfaced.
And it was like Emily could still read her mind, because the brunette calmed her heart rate like Dr. Pearson said to and spoke evenly, "Ali, you don't have to say anything, just tell me right now that you will stop blaming yourself. Charles is the one doing this, being that he's only your biological brother and nothing else does not make him your responsibility, it doesn't mean it's your fault."
"How can you say that, whatever he's doing to hurt everyone else, he's doing to hurt me. He would have no choice but to hurt me only if I had just stayed away from everyone else."
"That's not going to happen, so promise me."
Ali was torn, how could she? But one look in those eyes and she knew she'd have to promise and keep that promise, "I promise."
Emily smiled and before Ali could stand and help Caleb and Mona get settled in in the guest room, Emily grabbed her wrist. Ali spun around and faced her, "yeah?"
Em looked nervous and her breath came out a little shaky, "She's going to come back to you one day."
Alison was genuinely confused, who was Emily talking abo-
"The version of me you need right now. The Emily you're waiting for."
Alison could break from what she just heard, "no, no, god no, Emily, I just want you, as you are right now, as my friend and I want you safe I don't nee-,"
"Yes, you do," Emily shook her head and smiled weakly, "and it's okay, I feel things too you know, when I think about you, I feel like if I do it long enough, I can feel these memories pulling at my conscious and I feel like I'm remembering things, not just seeing them in my head, but actually reliving them in my head. I'm not fighting it Ali, I want to remember who I was, how everything else was."
Emily let go of Ali's wrist and Ali held her hand, her other one subconsciously playing with Emily's bracelet that she had been given back. When Em noticed she smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. She wanted to apologize but saying sorry for not knowing who you are wasn't an apology, just filler words with no real weight.
"Why are you telling me this?"
Emily swallowed and met shattered blue eyes, "Because I want you to stop looking at me like you've lost me, I'm still here and I told you I'm willing to start over, as friends, you haven't lost me, not in all the way s you think you have."
Ali dipped her head and took a deep breath, "we're covered in soot and smell like smoke, I told Mona and Caleb they could stay here and wash up, I hope that's okay?"
"You know it is."
Alison nodded and left the room, seeking refuge in busying herself with helping Mona and Caleb.
x-x-x-x
It was already late night by the time Alison had a chance to shower and change into some of her clothes, she fought to urge to swap out her tank for one of Em's long, over-sized tees.
Mona and Caleb were drinking tea in the kitchen, no one bothering to open up Charles or CeCe's files again until Ali was ready. Toby had picked up pizza and they all ate, all except Ali, she was sick to her stomach. She sat alone in the back room, the office of sorts, staring at the two manila folders she had in front of her.
Truth be told, she was nervous, scared even, to see what was inside, she didn't want to know what dark twisted secrets were in them, what lies her parents had hidden from her. Jason moved to Philly after the arrest, her mom was murdered, and her dad was too busy with work to ever actually be home, so she had no one to ask, no one to yell at but herself.
It was 11:23pm and for once the cold and the darkness around her was comforting, it was too much to be in broad daylight where all her flaws could be exposed. In the dark, no one would she her breaking down, no one but-
There was a knock at the door and it was pushed open all the way.
"Hey."
It was Emily, she came in bearing a plate of cold pizza and a glass of water.
Ali sat up straight and fixed her shirt, "hey."
"You hungry?"
"No."
"Oh, well I brought you- you know what, I haven't seen you eat since we got here, you need to eat this." Emily sat opposite to Alison and pushed the food over to her, sliding the folders out of the way, pulling her hand back when she realized what they were, "have you...?"
"No, not yet."
"Why not?"
"For obvious reasons, I'm scared."
"And what's wrong with that?"
"What?"
"What is wrong with being scared? Having fear doesn't make you weak."
Alison scoffed, "no? Well it doesn't necessarily make me feel strong being afraid to read some papers."
Emily shrugged, "I was reading my journal from freshman year, I found it in a box under my bed and when I was talking about me accepting myself as I am, being gay, and I wrote something that I know fits here."
Alison was more intrigued about what freshman Emily wrote about and what present Emily thought about it.
"I wrote that it's what we do about our fears that determine whether or not we're a strong person. I thought liking girls made me weak because I was always scared of what everyone else would think but when I told my parents, apparently I felt free, I felt strong again, because I could be myself again," Emily paused hoping she remembered reading that right and reached to cover Ali's hand with her own, "it can only make you strong once you find out what is in those."
With that, she got up and walked back towards the door, ready to leave until Ali stood up abruptly and grabbed Emily roughly by the waist and pushed her against the door. Her breaths were labored and heavy and she had angry tears in her eyes.
"What I do with my fears?" She was practically growling.
Emily swallowed, not sure what Ali's intentions were.
Alison reached down and grabbed Emily's wrists pinning them at either side of her head, dipping her head at the crook of a helpless Emily's neck. She then stretched on her tiptoes and whispered in Em's ear, "I'm afraid of losing you."
But her words weren't soft and endearing; they were rough, desperate, and needy.
The closer she got the more Emily could smell the hard liquor on her tongue. She tightened her jaw and stood still, waiting for Alison's actions to run their course.
Ali pulled away, dropping Em's wrists and cupping her face softly, tilting it up and to the side, so she had full access to her neck.
"The fear of losing you makes me want to take you back right now, kiss the old you out of you until there's no choice but for you to remember the way my lips feel and remember the ways I made you feel before all this."
Emily swallowed the heat between them making her skin start to form sweat beads.
"You're intoxicating, I can't stay away, I can only drink it all away, but everywhere I look, I see you, I see us and I can't do anything but agree to be your friend again. So the fear of losing you if I push this makes me want to stay away, but the fear of not doing anything makes me want to kiss you right now."
Alison's body was pressed against Emily's and when she was done talking, she dropped her head to the door, moving away from Emily's body.
Her eyes were bloodshot red, and Emily was standing on weak knees, not sure what to do.
"So Emily, what do you think? That's my number one fear, spilt in two. Am I weak, or am I strong?"
Emily didn't meet the eyes boring into her skin, she bit her lip and started at the floor, waiting to leave the room and sit back on her couch, no Alison that close to her, making her body heat out of her control and her skin burn up.
"I'm ready to open these, can you send the others?" Ali asked like nothing had happened and Emily nodded and quickly exited the room, relaying the message to others without causing any suspicion about the flush in her cheeks or the jittering in her bones.
What the hell was that?
x-x-x-x
Emily had gone to bed soon after the incident with Ali. That left Mona, Caleb, and Toby to look through the files they saved from the fire and piece anything they knew with what they were learning.
"This is crazy Alison, how the hell were we supposed to see this coming?" Toby offered.
Ali shook her head, it was well past 2 am and the alcohol was wearing off, the discoveries of Charles and CeCe's past sobering her faster than normal.
"Okay woah, so who wants to explain this all to me? There's too much," Caleb rubbed his temples and sat down at a chair.
Mona and Ali exchanged looks, "you can finish."
Ali nodded and Mona started, "like we've been saying everything started at Radley, but we needed to know how Charles got there in the first place. That part is still sketching since Mrs. D was on the board, really anything we read here can be a lie, but I'm sure not everything is fabricated."
Caleb nodded and everyone waited again to hear a full story of all the pieces they uncovered.
"If we go chronologically here, Mr. D was the one to call Radley and 9-1-1 on Charles when he was about 7. Reports from the first response officer said Mr. D claimed Charles was found with Ali and all of her dolls in the bathroom. Mr. D said Charles was trying to drown his sister. Ali, you were barely 8 months old. Says here," Mona grabbed a sheet, "that you were unharmed and that your mom was willing to drop it and just let Charles see a child psychologist, about his fascination with the dolls and you as his little sister. However, you're dad wasn't having it and he got Charles sent to Radley, the children's wing that had just opened was ready to have their first patient."
Ali swallowed; she nodded and let Mona continue. Caleb's stomach was uneasy imagining a little boy hurting an innocent baby.
Mona cleared her throat and put the paper down, "from what we have here, Mrs. D came on the board soon after and her reasons were obvious, she wanted to watch out for her little boy. Charles' first psychologist was Dr. Lor, he oversaw all of his medications, treatments and social interactions. And it's not all butterfly splatters, as the years went on, Lor noted that Charles was getting worse, he started to develop schizophrenic tendencies, starting to say that his sister was out to get him. That her dolls were coming after him. He started to develop paranoia by the age 13 and became violent in his sessions.
"Medical records show that they almost more than doubled his medication and started to keep him isolated more. This made Mrs. D angry, I'm assuming she had Dr. Lor removed the next year when Charles turned 14. For two years, it doesn't say Charles had a doctor, but your mom," Mona faced Ali, "started to visit him more often and apparently she was sneaking in gifts."
"Security found her trying to sneak in dolls, much like the ones you had and once they found that out, nurses searched his room and found a collection of dolls that resembled you and the ones you had."
Ali shuddered when she seen what Mona was reaching for, "and these," Mona breathed, "are pictures of how they were found."
Alison already seen them earlier but they still sent a cold chill down her spine.
"Holy fuck." Caleb grimaced and squirmed uneasily in his chair, "I'm glad I didn't stay in here when you opened Charles past the first time."
Spread on the table were pictures of dolls, they were torn, ripped, stabbed through with sharpened pieces and shreds of pencils, eyes colored in black with markers, red markings emulating wounds littered them and on one blonde, blue-eyed doll there was a creepy smile painted on, a giant red A scrawled on the forehead. Other than the face painted, it was the doll that was treated the best, there was no other marks, it was all intact and even the hair seemed to be combed back. It was obvious who Charles imagined that one was.
"Why the dolls?" Toby asked, glad that he and Caleb left the girls a while earlier to piece this together on their own.
"It doesn't say explicitly but I think that Ali's mom thought that if Charles had the dolls and seen they weren't going after him that's he'd get better, that he would be okay to get out and come back home. I think what happened was that he realized that the dolls were nothing but that, nothing happened to them unless he made them do something. That established some sort of control in his head, those dolls gave birth to the Charles that started to come after us and treat us like his own."
Caleb shook his head, "this is so fucking sick. I'm so sorry Alison."
Ali shrugged, "bygones Caleb, don't worry about it."
Ali was quiet, it wasn't her fault, she didn't do anything to Charles, it was her dad, her mom, not her, she was a baby, and Charles came after her because she didn't behave the way he wanted, she wasn't the perfect doll, like he wanted.
Mona nodded sympathetically and continued, "If we compare when Charles was sent to Radley to when CeCe's foster mom filed the complaints and had CeCe removed from the home, that puts her also at age 7, she bounced around for a few years in more homes that actually accepted her but when she turned 10, she attempted to burn down the home she was living in and when police pulled her into custody, she denied it, and get this, she said Vivian made her do it."
"Vivian? You mean...?"
Ali moved her head in confirmation, "Vivian Darkbloom, the alias she let me use, the person she taught me to be when I didn't want to be found, was someone real to her, it was herself, she used me to get rid of Vivian. I really was the perfect doll, to them both."
Toby shook his head, "Ali, no, you didn't know."
"What does it matter, everything they've done was because of me."
"Okay," Caleb stopped them, "so Cece went to Radley when? And why?"
"When she was 10, doctors diagnosed her with mild personality disorder that started to progress and then get better over the years."
"Let me guess, she still had to be a patient at Radley, but when they released her when she was 21 her personality disorder got even better?"
"Precisely, I think Ali was right, she used you to get herself better."
Alison was indifferent about it all, there was nothing left to say, she simply let Mona explain all that she and her and uncovered.
"And what does CeCe have to do with Charles?"
"CeCe was the first girl checked into the children's wing at Radley and there weren't many kids there with her."
"But Charles was one of them?"
Mona nodded to Caleb, "in Charles case file, this when Dr. Lor went easier on his meds and watched closely to see if being around another kid his age would make things better. They did group sessions, with CeCe and Charles and their doctor allowed all the kids to have the same recreational time together and guess who became inseparable?"
The two young men knew exactly who it was.
"What happened next Mona, how did Ali and us how did we get involved?"
The short brunette sighed, "as soon as CeCe was released, that's when she became a part of your life right Ali? Around the time she was pretending to be in college?"
"Yeah, I trusted that bitch, she was like a sister to me, she taught me everything I ever needed to know about...being just like her." Alison shuddered from the thought.
"Ali I think CeCe was actually genuine in trying to become your friend in those years, she was basically the eyes and ears for Charles until her learned how to escape." Mona offered, "she might have never had any real intent on hurting you until she found a reason."
"Learned to escape, or was let out?" Toby inquired, "we still don't have their motive for torturing us and how Wren got involved."
"Yeah, I agree with Toby, none of this really explains why Charles decided to punish you or where he was hiding or how he managed to get his hands on all of the equipment and money for things. And we still have no idea how Wren fit into all of this. I hated that bastard from the start." Caleb sighed somewhat frustrated.
"Those are things we need to get inside Charles' head for."
"I'll pass Mona, no thanks, I just escaped the literal pits of hell, I don't need to go into another one."
"Actually there might be things at my house that can help explain the money and Wren."
"Things like what? I thought you said there was nothing there?"
"There wasn't anything there, because I didn't know what I was looking for. I do now, and I know where to look. My mom had to have kept some record of these things, I know it."
"Maybe that's why they killed her Ali, they wanted to cover their trail, or they wanted out for good and she wasn't ready."
"Yeah, maybe. I just hope they didn't get whatever it is we're looking for."
"It's late, Ali, I think we should just call it a night. We'll keep looking for clues tomorrow, and then we'll stop by your house, but right now I think it's safe to say we all need some sleep."
"I can't just go to sleep, I'll stay up."
"Ali, you can't do that."
"But I will if it means having someone ready in case he comes."
"I'll stay up with you," Toby confirmed and then turned to the others, "you guys mind doing shifts? I already told Mendes he could leave, so there won't be any more surveillance until the morning when I leave."
"Sounds fine, but Mona, can you take the first one after them?"
"Of course."
"Cool, well I'll take the short couch, Toby you can have the other one, Mona will be in the guest room."
"Ali?"
"Huh?"
"Are you sleeping in-,"
"No, there's a sleeping bag in Em's closet, I'll sneak in and sleep down here with all of you."
No one asked questions, they simply went to where they were going to sleep and made themselves as comfortable as they could.
"No you take that couch, I'll take the sleeping bag, I've slept in and on worse," Caleb joked, "it'll be like plush to me."
Alison smiled at what she took as an attempt to ease the tension and thanked Caleb before making her way silently up the stairs.
There were minutes that passed before Ali opened the door to Emily's room, sneaking into the closet and pulling the rolled bag from the bottom near the extra blankets which she took out too.
She was close to the door when she stopped cursed herself and walked towards Emily bed, stopping just beside it.
Ali just wanted to crawl in beside Emily and just sleep there; she didn't need the physicality of it, not in the way her body knew it sometimes craved; she just wanted to feel close to Em, to feel the weight of her body in the dip of the mattress, hear the even breathing, watch her eyes flutter and her chest rise and fall in tandem with those even breaths. Ali craved to distract herself with watching Emily sleep and hope to match that peace and fall asleep too.
She even reached her hand out to brush back a strand of Emily's hair and then stopped, she remembered what she had done earlier and she hated herself for it, she couldn't even read the expression Em had, but Ali knew she was in the wrong to do that.
She sat down atop the now unrolled sleeping bag and pulled the blankets over her shoulders, "hey Em," she whispered quietly, "here we are again." Ali laughed lightly and felt uneasy as she watched Em's back to see if she would stir, "I um, first I just want to apologize about earlier, you're sleeping now, so I guess it doesn't count and I still have to say it again, but I guess saying it now will make the second time around easier? Maybe not, but I was drunk and upset and I should have never done that, I'll make sure to make it up to you somehow, like I'll make you pancakes or waffles in the morning."
It was silent and Ali sighed. She looking up and the sight nearly took her breath away: there was a crack in the curtains and of course the natural light from outside shone perfectly on Emily's cheekbones, as if Ali needed more of a reason to want to break the just-friends things she agreed to.
Emily looked angelic, and Ali cursed herself for letting such darkness and pain enter her life, and at what cost? At the price of her love, something Emily was now rejecting.
Alison sighed and put her forehead against the mattress, "you want the truth Em, I want to tell you everything now, I won't spare your feelings or mine anymore, this is it, and I'm going to start from that first day we met when you moved here and we were young until now, I don't care how long it takes."
It was Emily's last chance to say something if she was awake, but she didn't, and Ali took this as not a good sign but not a bad one either, she just took it was it was.
"Okay, so I lived here my whole life and I always thought that-,"
Ali kept her voice low and soft and just above a whisper, she could barely hear herself but she sat and recalled everything she could...
On the other side of the door, Caleb could barely make out the soft humming of a voice, and he knew he wouldn't be needing any sleeping bags, so he went back down and settled into the couch.
"And at first you were so scared to come over, I knew you were and I thought it was annoying at first but then when I told you that-,"
Ali stayed like that, relaxing and smiling at the fond memories, her trip down memory lane of the early years helping her forget that the road would soon make a wrong turn and end them up where they were.
Emily lay there, holding in her laughs, her tears, forcing her body to lie as still as she could while recounted their progression and stages of their relationship over the years, she lie there, a stupid grin on her face and she could feel it, she was letting the memories, telling her brain it was okay to bring them back and remember, none came on her demand, but she felt this gravitational pull on her heart and towards the only person that had made her feel more in her short life than most people have ever died without feeling.
Emily knew it was happening...she was falling for Alison. Again, for the first time, for the second time, it didn't matter, she knew. And she wasn't going to fight it.
x-x-x-x
"Ali, Ali wake up."
Caleb was kneeled next to Alison and when he stirred her awake, she woke with a start.
"WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED!" she sat up and nearly knocked him out with her head.
"Woah, calm down, I'm just waking you up now."
Ali didn't look around and she assumed she was in the living room, she didn't pay attention the crack in the curtains that was now letting sunlight leak through, so she asked innocently, "oh, is it my turn to keep watch?"
Caleb dropped his head and chuckled under his breath, "no sunshine, it's morning now, 9am to be precise."
"What?" Ali then took this time to absorb her surroundings, "shit."
"What's wrong, kink in your neck?"
"No Caleb, dammit, why didn't you wake me up?"
"You were talking to her, I wasn't about to interrupt and when you fell asleep, you actually looked peaceful, I wasn't going to wake you up."
"Then who-,"
"Me and Toby spilt your hours, it's okay."
"Ugh, Caleb, Em's not even here, she probably woke up and and freaked out, where is she, is she okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine, she was actually better than fine, Toby didn't have to go in today, he called in a favor so him and Emily went for a run."
"A run?"
"Well a jog...pace passed walk? Who am I kidding, they went to walk around the park for a bit, they should be back in a few. I just thought you'd like one of us to wake you and not Emily."
"Ugh, thanks."
Ali got up and folded everything and put them back in their home at the bottom and back of Emily's closet.
She combed out her hair, and went downstairs to make coffee, no sooner than she took the first sip did Emily and Toby come in the house laughing and covered in very minimal amounts of sweat.
The pair walked into the kitchen for water and upon seeing Ali at the counter Emily smiled, "good morning Ali."
"Good morning Em," Ali returned awkwardly.
Toby winked at Emily and walked into the living room, the whole thing unseen by Ali.
Alison cleared her throat she was going to have to apologize for falling asleep in Em's room and for what happened earlier that night too.
"Emily, I-,"
Emily shook her head and walked a step closer to Ali, leaning over the counter and saying in a low voice, "apology accepted."
Ali's eyes widened in confusion and bewilderment, Emily walking away to shower upstairs before she stopped in the door way, "but oh, you can make the pancakes, and I think I seen some chocolate chips in the pantry, thanks."
And like that the brunette bounded up the stairs, leaving a very confused Alison in her wake.
Toby came back into the kitchen to return the water bottle to the fridge, laughing at the expression on Ali's face.
"I like chocolate chips too."
Ali snapped out of her state of immobility, "shut up Toby."
x-x-x-x
AN: ...like always, leave a comment, question, thought or review. I want to hear from you! And I'm sorry I missed last weekend, hopefully this makes up for that...stay tuned for updates for ISIKYW and OITNE coming out tomorrow and Monday.
Love, Lina